In Which

The Toclofane Have a Tea Party

In Which…

The Toclofane Have a Tea Party


Three spheres hovered slightly above three separate chairs in the conference room of the Valiant, each with a separate teacup and a plate with four biscuits in front of it, a tea pot and assorted tea related accessories on a tray in the center of the table. They hovered, ignoring the Doctor, who was asleep in the tent near the balcony, and waited for the fourth member of their congregation.

"Where is he?" asked Toclofane number two hundred thirty six. It shot glances between the other two at the table. Toclofane number four thousand nine hundred and seventy two unsheathed its blades and used it to stir the tea in the cup in front of it.

"I'm not sure," replied four thousand nine hundred and seventy two, pensively stirring the tea. The Toclofane took its knives out of the tea and shook them off, retracting them.

"You know," said the third Toclofane, number six billion and two, "I think I saw four ninety nine on the list of those working today. I'll try to contact him through our telepathic link if you want?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Alright," the other Toclofane agreed and six billion two tried to focus on four ninety-nine. He wasn't there. "I think he's been killed."

"Oh," said two hundred thirty six. "That's disappointing."

"Indeed," agreed four thousand nine hundred and seventy two. "I suggest we find someone else to complete our group." The other two Toclofane agreed.


The search continued for four days, yet the three Toclofane could not find anybody who would join their tea party. The humans were all afraid of them, the other Toclofane, who shared their memories, had, erm, "politely declined", and the Master was always busy. Which left them with one option.

"Doctor, pass the sugar."

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