The Man Who Regrets : Doctor Who [1] ✓

37 : Days at Torchwood

Violet slings her bag over her shoulder and kisses the Doctor goodbye, waving her farewells to Donna and Lee, who are cuddled up beside each other on the new chair in the console room. Thankful that her cast is now gone, she slides up her sleeve and enters the coordinates of the Torchwood base in Cardiff into her Vortex Manipulator and disappears from the TARDIS, appearing in front of the Roald Dahl Plass.

With a grin, she hops atop the part of the pavement with a perception filter and presses another button descending into the base. She raises her finger to her lips when Gwen and Ianto see her, warning them to be quiet as her eyes search for Jack. They listen to her and continue on with what they were doing as the cement continues to descend silently. I hop off the cement and sneak up the stairs, slipping into Jack’s office.

He looks up at the movement and Violet watches as his eyes widen in shock, the papers in his grasp falling onto the table. Violet just grins and drops her bag as the time traveller practically launches out of his seat and throws his arms around her, lifting her off the floor and spinning her around. She screams with delight and holds onto the male as he laughs, slowing to a stop and lowering her back to the ground.

The moment her feet are on solid ground, his lips are pressed to hers, kissing her differently to every other time he’s done so. She can feel his relief that she’s still alive after what happened at The Library, as well as what love he still holds for her despite them both having somewhat moved on and found another person they love as equally as they did each other. Violet has to detach her lips from Jack’s when breathing becomes hard, but she doesn’t loosen her tight hold on the older man.

She clings to him, head resting on his chest above his heart. “I should have called to let you know I was still alive - and still me.”

Jack shakes his head, one hand on her lower back and the other between her shoulder blades. “No, it’s alright. The main thing is that you’re still alive and can live out whatever you say remains of your life.”

“I was so ready to die in that place, Jack. I just wanted it over - I still do.”

“I know you do, Vi, but we don’t all get what we want.”

She slowly pulls herself away from her other love. “If I ever found something that could kill you - actually kill you - would you do it, or would you stay here with Ianto?”

His baby blue eyes darken slightly. “I don’t have a definite answer for you, and I’m not sure that I ever will. Maybe when Ianto and Gwen are gone I might consider it, but not while they’re alive - or while you’re alive.”

“I figured that’d be your answer.”

“Violet.”

Violet grins and runs from the room, speeding down the stairs to where Gwen and Ianto are. She hardly slows her steps, barrelling towards Ianto and throwing herself into his awaiting arms. Without missing a beat, she pulls back slightly and then kisses the unsuspecting male, causing him to freeze for a moment but quickly respond to the motion, returning the kiss. They pull apart when a cheeky whistle breaks the dead silence, and both look over to where Jack is standing, baby blue eyes dark with something different than earlier.

“That’s something I wouldn’t mind seeing every day,” Jack teases, but both Violet and Ianto know that he’s being dead serious. “Sure you don’t want to stay with us for a while, little love?”

“Oh, Jacky Boy.” Violet pulls River’s journal from her back pocket. “You and I both know that there’s a world out there I still have to live in.”

“But that’s...”

“The Doctor’s future, and mine and River’s. There’s even some stuff about you in here, so I do wonder what happens between now and the end of this book.” She frowns a moment and steps away from Ianto, staring at the blue cover. “The real end of the book is The Library in the 51st Century, but River finished it with the Singing Towers on Darillium with the Doctor’s Regeneration after his next one. Too bad I won’t live to see that version of him.”

Jack stares at the blue journal. “You know your future - something no one is ever meant to know - and you’re okay with what’s going to happen to you?”

Ianto takes the book when Violet offers to him and he skims through the object, his eyes widening at whatever it is that he finds. “How can you be alright with what’s going to happen to you?”

Violet briefly closes her eyes and sighs, nodding slightly and licking her dry lips. “I’ve lived a pretty good life in the grand scheme of things, and there’s really not much I would change.”

“Vi,” Jack says softly, walking up to her and pulling her into a hug. “You scare me sometimes.”

“I’m about to scare you more.”

Before the immortal man can reply, Violet pulls out of the hug and splays her palms on the sides of her lover’s face, closing her eyes and forcing her way into his mind. While his mind welcomes her, his physical body stiffens. However, she merely smiles for half a second before her expression turns serious, letting out a long breath through her nose and showing him everything that’s ever happened to her, and everything that she has ever felt. It’s this which his mind recoils from, trying its very best to fight off the onslaught of grotesque and bloody memories, and memories of abuse and manipulation.

He sees her grow from a young child, constantly moving house, and growing up surrounded by alcoholics and drug addicts in a small town in Australia, and he sees her harsh childhood without her father, a narcissistic man in his place. He sees a father that left his daughter to have another child with another woman, raising her half-brother most likely without him knowing of his older sister; a brother who she’s lucky to have met three times in her eighteen years of life. He feels her isolation and her fear, and it makes him feel sick. It’s hardly a life, but it was all she had.

He sees the countless wars she fought on alien worlds in different time periods - including the wars she fought alongside Jack in on Earth in the 19th and 20th centuries. There’s more blood spilled and lives snuffed out by her hands than either of them can count, and some of them her own flesh and blood. He sees corpses piled high and being burned to ash, and he can smell their rotting, burning flesh. There’s a sort of beauty to it, but it’s a grotesque one. He feels her rage and conflict, and her desperation to end all the fighting so she can go back to her family; to Jack.

He sees himself die countless times, some by his own hand and others at the hands of others over the decades. Shot, stabbed, torn limb-from-limb, blown up, hung, and so many more. He sees himself giving up countless resurrections to Abadon in order to save all of humanity. It’s hard for him to watch, but he can feel the pure, unhindered agony and desolation and isolation and abandonment and heartbreak that Violet felt every time she saw him die, and he admits that it breaks his own heart feeling what she felt and seeing her broken.

The next thing he sees is completely different to that of what he saw before.

He sees next are families, Human and alien, sitting around and eating meals, being together as one, laughing and teasing. He sees Toshiko, Gwen and Owen sitting around laughing, the latter two picking on each other like there’s no tomorrow, Ianto and Jack himself standing slightly away from the other three and just smiling at their idiocy. Then he sees Violet standing between Jack and Ianto, a content smile on her face and her sapphire eyes glowing with life. The two men hold her close, their fingers linking where they meet over her middle.

Then it’s Rose and the Doctor, and Martha and Donna and Mickey - even briefly Lee from The Library. Sarah Jane Smith is somewhere in that family too, and so’s River - many different versions of the woman, but all with the same face. There are children running around, laughing gleefully as their parents - River and Violet - watch with loving eyes, the two soon joining their children in their playfulness. Those images soon fade into something that’s such a shock to Jack that he flinches.

He sees the stolen, quiet moments between himself and Violet over the decades, and the moments they both share with Ianto, and then the ones where it’s only Ianto and Violet. The love and passion is overflowing, and it’s so much that it’s almost too painful to feel and witness. He sees the moments of himself and Ianto follow those, and then the dance and kiss he shared with the real Captain Jack Harkness in the 1940′s due to the time shift. Flashes of himself and Violet dancing at those small moments of peace during the wars appear, and he smiles, feeling her utter adoration and love for the man in front of her.

They change to the small moments between Rose and Violet, which then evolve to that of the Doctor and Rose, and then to the Doctor and Violet. He sees the relationship of Mickey and Rose, and also that of Mickey and Martha strangely enough. Donna and Lee flicker into the myriad somewhere, holding hands and cuddling, with the occasional kiss here or there. River is the main individual in this part, her soft kisses and her warm hugs, and her unconditional support.

Violet rips herself away from Jack and her legs refuse to support her, Ianto dropping River’s journal and darting forward to catch her. Jack himself stumbles, steadying himself by taking hold of a bench, head bowed, hiding his expression but not the unending crystalline tears pouring free from his misty, baby blue eyes. Violet isn’t in much of a better state, crying and trembling in Ianto’s arms, fingers gripping his suit jacket tightly, her knuckles turning white.

“I am so fucking sorry,” Violet whispers brokenly, her voice thick with tears and cracking on each syllable. “I thought you deserved to know. I mean, considering how fucking important you are to me.”

Jack silently walks over to Violet and Ianto, and pulls the former away from the latter, holding her tightly against his body.

“Jack?”

“He’s speechless,” Ianto marvels. “What did you show him, Violet?”

Violet looks at Ianto with watery eyes for a moment before reaching out and placing two fingers on his forehead, giving him small flashes of what she showed Jack, watching as the Human’s expressions change rapidly and tears begin to flow. “I showed him everything, and, as much as I wish I could show you everything, it would kill you. So, you’re only getting a glimpse.”

He remains frozen for a moment after she removes her fingers, but the moment he’s able to move again, his arms are wrapped around both Violet and Jack, holding them as best he can. It’s then that Violet becomes aware that Gwen is nowhere to be seen, the three crying individuals being the only people in the vicinity at the moment.

“Come on, you two,” Violet murmurs. “Get it together. You’re meant to be the strong ones.”

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