This Could Be the End of Everything


Loki paced the room as Peter sat, half in his suit, simply watching him, his head moving for a tennis match from his speed. Peter had tried to get the full story from him but he just kept shrugging him off. Loki’s eyes have also become puffy. He had tried asking Loki if he slept, and when he left, but he just mumbled things under his breath, lost in thoughts and theories that Peter was starting to get sick of. Finally, Peter grabbed Loki mid stride and held him in place by his shoulders. Loki was shocked but easily regrouped to give him a challenging glare.

“Why are you holding me so forcefully?” He wasn’t accusing, simply wondering. Peter let his hands drop and went to his closet. He threw a few things out and grunted when he found what he was looking for. He handed a small sliver of tech to him and realized it was a phone he saw some students using.

“It is my old Iphone. It was cheap but the new androids are irresistible, despite the price so I switched.” Loki flipped it over a few times then poked it. The screen came to life and he started to swipe through it in fascination. He stopped abruptly though and squeezed it to his chest.

“Is it mine?” Peter nods. He was glowing from that information, subtly hiding it by playing with the phone again.

“I programmed Aunt May, Me and Gwen in the contacts. Have anyone else you need to add?” Loki snapped his head up realizing he did in fact need to make a call. Loki excused himself and Peter took the opportunity to leave without fuss. Loki grabbed his bag and dug around for the paper with the address and phone number. He grabs it with a victorious smirk and types the number into the phone, listening to it ring four times before Kevin picks up.

“Who is this?” Loki clears his throat.

“It is Loki, did the woman call you?” There was a whistle on the other end.

“Man I have to hand it to you, I wasn’t expecting you to succeed. I told the old man I got someone to take the bike. He told me to get it out of the garage by the end of this weekend. I need you to take it now so I have it for the show tomorrow.” Loki nods excited for the quick delivery. He stops, realizing Kevin can’t see him nod.

“Deliver it to house 36 in Forest Hills.” He hears some grumbling on the other end as he mutters the bit of address Loki could supply.

“Yea, got you. Map Quest knows your address.” Loki smiles at the tech working with him and tells him to bring it to him now. He could practically see the guy shrug and say ok with the slurred answer. Loki hangs up fingering the phone till he sees the knives Gwen got him, grabbing them as he slides to the floor. There was twenty five to his amazement. All small in length but it had hardly any hilt which gave more blade and they were deadly. Loki drank in the feeling he got holding something so lethal. His hands stroked them with a knowing touch and he wondered again back to what Tony Stark said. What had he done? He gets up, takes the holster and wraps it around his hips. It hung comfortably and he saw how the knives practically decorated him all the way around. He takes one out and closes his eyes. He feels his body sway and raise the weapon up. It felt like the dream. The movements coming like second nature. He kept his thoughts clear and his body loose. He wanted to see what he knew. Loki swipes to the left and twirls to stab to his right. He sticks a leg out to his side and drops low to the ground, probably meant to take a foe’s feet out from under him. He then swipes all in front of him but hears a splintering of wood. He opens his eyes to see he had nearly cut off one of his desk’s legs. He stands quickly and inspects the knife. There was a small chink but only visible to his scrutiny since he was looking for it. Loki takes off the belt, sticking the knife back in. He turns his head to his door when he hears a rumbling from outside and walks with purpose down the stairs. He keeps his head high when he leaves his house and greets Kevin with a nod to answer his peace sign.

“She is a CBR1000rr Fireblade and has a lot of kick to the engine. I like the speed and the skeleton is light with a strong build and a strong shock suspension. Do whatever you want with her and she will hold.” It was a simple black with some dents and scrapes but it, or rather she, was nice. Kevin hands him the keys and jabs a thumb over his shoulder at the bike. “I don’t have a ride back. I’ll teach you some techniques on the way to my place.” Loki gives a tight smile, agreeing with him but not too excited at the prospect of him being that close. Loki mounts the bike gracefully after kicking the stand up. Kevin hands him the black helmet and takes one out of his bag with flames on the sides. “You need to turn the key then you will press the button next to it to start it.” Loki complies with simple flicks of the wrist and a gentle push. The engine roars in his ear causing Loki to vibrate with exhilaration. “The left pedal is the clutch and to get to first gear you need to go down while the rest is up till gear six.” Loki takes this in, breath getting labored as he yells the instructions. “The right pedal is the break for the back wheels.” He then point to Loki’s left hand and yells through the helmet, “Roll that handle toward you for speed and the brake for the front wheels is that lever there.” Loki looks and tries to memorize everything. He pushes down to go into first gear and rolls the right handle toward him the engine growls as it moves forward with speed much like Peter’s swing. He wasn’t fast enough though. It wasn’t good enough. Loki pushes with his left foot to shift to second gear. He feels a slight sputter as it shifts. Kevin yells from his place against Loki’s back. “Gently, she is temperamental.” Loki nods and continues on, only slowing for the traffic. “To turn, simply nudge the handles the opposite way you want to turn and lean into it. You turn with your body. Left is right and right is left from now on.” Loki raises a brow at the backwards steering but does as he is told as he takes his first turn to the left. It was a bit wobbly but after a few more turns from Kevin’s directions he got better. Smoother.

“Am I gonna learn those tricks anytime soon?” his quip makes his passenger smirk and press closer, sweat soaking through Loki’s hoodie. He resists the urge to shift away since he had nowhere to go. “Press the front brake quickly.” His hold tightens around Loki. “Brace to be thrown forward.” He stiffens his muscles as a brace against the handles and applies the front brake hard. His stomach comes to his throat as he is pitched forward from the bike going on it's front wheel and a holler fills his ears from his passenger. He let go a few seconds after, unable to keep the position straight from his off centered movements and passenger behind him. “You can try popping a wheelie on your own. Basically slow down to at least second gear and while standing on the pedals rock your body back hard and fast while lifting from the handles. You should be up on the back wheel and motorcycles are all about weight distribution. Keep as centered as possible and ride it.” Loki hums in anticipation for when he makes the attempt. Kevin taps his shoulder and points at a house in the ritzy neighborhood he took him to. Loki stops, putting a leg down for support. He lifts the helmet from his head but Kevin puts a hand out, stopping Loki from giving it to him. “Keep it, I have a better one anyways.” Kevin winks and despite Loki’s disgust for his cleaning habits, he smiles and puts it back on. Kevin walks up the drive and Loki pulls away in a U turn to retrace the path home. He rides just feeling the bike this time. He knows what to do now, body easily manipulating the vehicle and he starts testing his balance. Taking turns sharper than necessary and he tries speeding past slower car. He finds it rather easy to squeeze between traffic, ignoring the angry honks. He did realize to be careful when a car almost ran into the back of him, causing a tenseness in his body from then on to be prepared for a sudden weave to dodge such an incident. He needed to be careful on the streets. He was mindful but others weren’t. Sadly he could not fly so he took it slower, coming home in time for the sunset. He took off the helmet, shaking his hair free, curly now from the sweat. He walks it behind the house and hides it under a tarp. Aunt May won’t be happy when she finds it which won’t take long. Loki sighs at the thought and opens the back door. When he gets down he sees her with her face in her hands, not hearing the door behind her open. He stands in the doorway in thought. He walks with stealth to the laundry room a few paces away in the small kitchen and grabs a blanket. He walks back with a cat’s gentleness to gently drape it over her shoulders. She looks up quickly, shoulder shaking from the surprise. She smiles sadly at Loki looking around as she grabs his hand that he rested on the counter.

"Hello Loki, I thought you were out with Peter." Loki takes a seat beside her at the dining table and studies her critically. Her eyes were red but not wet. He knows about the double shifts she had taken these past few days despite her trying to hide it from Peter. She also rubs his hand absent minded as she glances at the door expectantly.

"Why do you let him go out if it hurts you so much?" not gentle but to the point. There were too many secrets in this house for beating around the bush. He understood the reasons but secrets have a cost. He is learning that fast as he lives with the Parkers. Her smile slowly fades into a sober expression. She then gives one of politeness that stretched painfully.

"I know he has to do it. I don't know what he does to come home so beaten sometimes but he is so much better then when it first started. I can’t help but think it must be something he sees as important if he would dedicate himself to it. Though I see he is sad sometimes. I think it has something to do with the girl he has a crush on. Ever since his uncle died he has been doing this but there is so much life in him." She rubs her hands nervously now. Loki reaches out but stops midway, a part of him telling him he had no right to comfort. Unworthy being a good word in his mind. Aunt May notices and wraps thin fingers around his strong hands. "You worry for him too." Loki nods despite himself.

"If it wasn't for him, I'd be lost and scared still. I needed... Someone." Aunt May pulls him into a hug. Loki is stiff, running away flew through his mind. To fight and scream but he didn't. He slowly wraps his arms around her in return. He wants to keep this moment so he drinks in every detail. She smelled of baked goods and lavender, something so welcoming that radiated into his very being. It was warm in the room causing a haze in his mind as his cold frame became almost limp from the comfort; her knitted sweater being a cushion smooshed against his chest. She lets go and they sit there in understanding without any words needing to be shared.

"Would you like some apple cider?" Loki asks what that is sensing a lighter mood coming to her. "You don't know? Come on then, let's get you fixed up." Light laughter laces her words; the two getting up for a change to the kitchen. Loki leans against the center table as she gets two packets out of the cabinet and a pot of water going on the stove. "Have you remembered anything today?" Loki thrums his fingers against the small island.

"What does it mean when you feel an ache inside you but you don't even know why?" Aunt May sits the two mugs down. She leans against the counter, looking up for answers.

"You must have had someone you cared for deeply." She turns back around and starts fixing the drink with the simmering water. Loki fiddles with his hair, looking at the ground. When he gets his mug he sips it gingerly. He then moans in appreciation.

"It's delicious."

"I'm glad you like it." Loki then has a thought.

"If I had someone I cared for deeply, they must have not cared for me since they lost me and aren't looking for me." His thoughts show the image of Thor, looking at him desperately for him to recognize him. He bites his lip at the image, trying not to trust the stranger. An Avenger his brother?

"I'm sure they are. It's only been three days." He shakes his head, curls brushing his face.

"They let me get beaten, would someone who loved me let me get hurt?" He feels a fire in his stomach. It felt familiar even without his memories. He delved deeper into it, feeding it to find its origin. The mug in his other hand starts shaking. Betrayal. Someone betrayed him and he had a sinking suspicion who. Aunt May grabs his fisted hand from her place beside him.

"Don't resent people when you don't even know their side yet. The world is in enough pain without another person harboring anger." Their eyes meet and Loki could feel her sincerity wash through him to drown the flame. He takes a breath and sips his apple cider feeling another warmth in his chest. A warmth he felt a lot these past few days.

"I guess you are right. Maybe I will be found, but even if I don't,” he gives a modest smile, “I really like it here." The corners of her lips touches her eyes making them crinkle slightly.

"Loki, you are loved, if not by your real family, then by us." The door in the hall opens quietly. Aunt May doesn't look away immediately not leaving room for doubt in his mind. When footsteps go to the edge of the stairs she calls out. "Peter, is that you?" a moment of silence. Loki glances out the kitchen window to see the sun has just left the sky, causing a purple on the horizon.

"I'm really tired Aunt May, and dirty, can I take a shower before dinner?" footsteps go up the stairs, not waiting for a response. Loki sets a hand on her shoulder.

"I will go check on him for you." Aunt May rubs her face with a nod exhaustion filling her eyes. Loki heads up expecting the worse. When he gets to the door it is locked. He knocks. "Peter, let me in." after a few seconds the door unlocks with a click. When he gets in, he sees an injured Peter laying under covers with his chest bare, suit ripped and on the floor. He has bruises and a few scrapes but the two bullet wounds are what Loki really cared about. He immediately goes for the first aid kit; Peter sits up hearing the contents shift as Loki takes it down from the shelf.

"Thanks, I got it from here." He reaches out for the box but Loki swats his hand.

"Lay back down you incompetent oaf." Peter raises both eyebrows in shock, words meaning nothing but a stern order. He does as he is told letting Loki take out disinfectant, tweezers, and gauze. He notices needles and thread, taking those out in question. Peter looks at the bullet holes and decides that with so much blood, he needed the gruesome fix. Laying out the tools in a line Loki addresses Peter with a voice meant for conversing about the weather. "You should start sneaking out better and giving better lies to your Aunt." Peter sighs, Loki putting the needle and thread together.

"She will know no matter what I say." Loki takes a belt laying on the floor and puts it in Peter's mouth, not so much muscle memory but a scene playing in his head.

A tired man groaning as he cares to his strong but wounded body, pride keeping him from proper treatment. His blonde hair blocked his eyes as Loki looked over the wounds, groaning at the man's stubbornness and informing him of a debt now being owed. The blond merely laughed lightly, holding Loki's hand in a grip that was so warm, it burned. the burning simply relaxed his stiff hand, the meaning understood for centuries.

Loki pulls back the skin slightly, taking out his phone to use the flashlight to look deep within the wound. He sees metal flash the light back to him. Tweezers in hand, Loki digs as gently as possible to get the bullet out of his wound. Peter groans and bites down hard to keep quiet, body convulsing in an instinctive attempt to get away from the pain. Loki feels the tweezers slide around the bullet and pulls it out with all the care he can muster. Peter moans from the relief, panting from the ordeal. Loki had the right mind to smack the teen but composes himself. Loki then takes the needle and thread to start a quick stitch. Peter squeezes his eyes shut and does everything he can to not thrash from the pain. Loki does it quick, the small but deep wound making it a quick process. He snips the ends, tying them together, spraying a numbing agent. Peter takes the belt out of his mouth. “Play some music a little loudly so Aunt May doesn’t hear. I don’t know if I can take another stitch without making a sound.” Loki goes to the stereo he has on his desk, plugs in Peter’s phone and plays a playlist named dubstep. He had heard it, the loud noises hurting his head, but decides it’s the best for a distraction. Loki bandages the wound that was on his upper arm and moves to the one on his side. He sees that it went all the way through and grabs the needle again, Peter putting the belt in his mouth.

“It would probably be best to remember everything you do this for right now.” Peter nods. Loki jabs the needle through the skin to come up and go across to the other side of the circle. Peter, moans a little louder than Loki would deem safe but continues on just as fast as before. Once done he lets Peter take a moment. He was pale with bags forming bruises on his eyes. Loki had tended to the other scrapes with disinfectant and bandages. Once those were done he cleared his throat. Peter groggily looked over to him. “Flip.” Loki puts an arm under him to help lift and gently puts him on his side. There was blood everywhere and Loki was getting way past worried. He quickly goes through the stitching process, Peter not reacting as much, causing Loki to grow nauseous from the sheer amount of worry. Once done he numbs the wound again and wraps his torso, having to support Peter to sit up and get the wrapping secured. Peter slumps against Loki’s chest. He was cold. As much as Loki wanted to just lay there with him to watch over him, he knew a major cleanup was in order. He doesn’t know how he managed to remove the sheets while Peter slept but he did. He took the suit and saw the damage, unsalvageable. He takes it to the window and throws it out. He goes downstairs to get the bloodied fabrics, having to tell Aunt May he dropped something outside as she cooked a new kind of casserole someone from work told her about. He took the fabrics and threw them in the trash, burying it below some of the other trash bags. Once done he realizes he has blood on his hands. He prayed Aunt May wouldn’t notice him. Thankfully she didn’t. She was studying the recipe as he went upstairs. He threw his clothes off in the bathroom and turned the shower on. He jumped in without waiting for the warm water and started scrubbing. He was growing frantic, hands scrubbing with a luffa harder than necessary. He kept hearing Peter moan in pain to have screams sound in the back of his mind. Was that him? He shook, drawing in deep breaths. His hands go up to his hair and pulls hard. He needed to calm down. Control, he needed control. Nothing went against him, not even his body or emotions. He felt a sense of power pull in his head to let it flow out into his body. It was hot and grounding. He continued breathing till the feeling filled him all the way to his toes. His blue eyes became hard and unnerving in the intensity. He would not succumb to weakness. He shuts off the water and grabs the towel that hung over the curtain rod. He had too much to lose to just lose it like this. Loki strolls to his room, and grabs the other pair of sweats and a long sleeved V neck.

“Time to eat boys.” Aunt May calls. He takes the few strides to Peter’s room who looked pitiful trying to get up. Loki rolls his eyes smirking at the display.

“You need to take it easy. You look like death.” Peter slumps down whimpering. Loki shakes his head, seeing that the boy will live easing the knot in his chest. “I’ll bring you dinner. You have another suit at your disposal?” Peter nods.

“Gwen made me another as a gift. This was my second. I made it to look like the first. Gwen’s looks a little different.” His voice was weak but he was talking. He breaths out a sigh turning to go downstairs. “I self-heal you know, no need to worry Loki.” Loki turns with a taunting grin, words laced with sarcasm.

“Me worry for you, why on earth would I do that?” Peter laughs weakly and Loki goes to join Aunt May. She has questions in her eyes when Loki takes two plates.

“He wanted to sleep.” He turns on his heels with a plate in each hand.

“Take care of him.” Aunt May whispers, almost a prayer. Peter was asleep when he entered, Loki had to kick the door shut, Peter not stirring from the noise. Loki chews his lip, sitting the plates down on the table at the foot of the bed. He rolls his neck sitting at the desk, turning on the laptop. Google search pops up and he types Spiderman. He was surprised to see all that popped up. Forums, fan pages, news reports, blogs, imposters, Loki browsed all of them. He looked to the sleeping form, color already coming to his face. He had a lot of responsibility. “Why do you do it?” He didn’t expect an answer as he starts to type “Avengers.”

“I have the ability to do something good. It’s my burden that I’m happy to bear.” Loki pauses a moment then continues typing.

"Then at least try harder to not get injured. You aren't the only one who gets hurt you know." Peter smiles goofily. He sat up with a groan and leans against the wall, grabbing a plate.

"I'm flattered that you care so much." Loki rolls his eyes. Reading about S.H.E.I.L.D and the attack that happened on Manhattan. There was a video but he didn’t feel like watching videos right now. Talking was a rarity when one of you leaves every day to go crime fighting.

"Your Aunt is just a bit too sad for my taste. Brings down the mood." He finds another article where Thor acted alone in England. He brought up pictures for that to see the atrocities aliens had done. This world truly was crazy. “Eat.” He types Thor and got a few sites for mythology along with the Avenger’s member.

"Thank you Loki." Peter says, finished with the food. Loki turns his head slightly, head tilted back trying to seem nonchalant.

"No problem. Get some rest Peter." He lays back down and closes his eyes. Loki closes the browser and goes through his computer files, trying to piece together the kid's life, why this all matters. Maybe find who he could be. What he could do, for Peter. He opens some files named Suit Spreadsheet. Spandex littered the contents with lots of spiders mingling around. He shifts through, finding some masks and raises a brow. “Spandex, that was your first choice?” he shrugs studying the masks. “Guess it is a good idea to keep your loved ones safe.” He turns off the computer and gazes out the window. It was lit up with street lamps so he saw down the street. It looked oddly eerie, desolate to the point of otherworldly haunting. He wondered if the feeling of being watched was due to the scene or something more sinister. His mind knew what all his research was hinting at but he just couldn’t take it seriously. He had no suit, no serum of strength. He couldn’t get state of the art weapons and he wasn’t a god. Thor claimed to be his brother but that was illogical. He wondered where his brother had gone. If he had left for a reason of resentment or of one for his own need. Why would he leave when Thor so clearly loved him? Maybe he didn’t know. Maybe Thor didn’t say it enough, or show it. Loki shakes his head, pulling his hair back and grabbing a rubber band. It stuck out a little before it went into a soft wave down three inches. Some hair couldn’t make it so waves framed his face in scraggly pieces. Loki gets up and stands by Peter’s bed. He was breathing softly, face slack from the deep sleep. His eyes moved in a dream behind his closed lids and Loki tucked him in. A gesture he would easily deny. Peter barely stirred even as he retreated to his room. His hands shook as he got into bed. It may not be his thing but Loki knew. He knew that he would have Peter’s back no matter what he decided. Aunt May begged him to protect him. He was the only one he allowed close enough anymore. He sighs as his eyes shut against the sparkle of the Christmas lights. One blinked, clinging to life. It went out just as Loki fell into slumber.

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