Tell them I don't care
Hey guys! Chapter 17! Officially there are only 7 chapters left including this one. Some with be short, like this one. Sorry guys, but I'm cramming last minute pieces together…so yay? *scratches arm* Not yay? Anyway, enjoy!
I felt dizzy, facing upward and looking at the dim room. I could feel cold ice eyes staring at me. I was gently placed on the floor and another jolt of pain quickly ran up my spine. But as quickly as the pain appeared, it stopped. I felt so out of place with that, so I quickly moved my eyes around. I wasn't able to fix them on anything, it was all blurry. Lights were flickering on and off and my vision was beginning to fade to a fuzzy black…I wasn't going to be able to keep conscience much longer.
"Quickly he's going under!" I heard a voice shout, as blurred visions of people crowded in a circle around me. Their hot breathes were running up my arms and legs. That sick feeling of mortal terror was upon me, but at the flip of a coin, it was shut off. I felt numb, and my eyes were struggling to stay open.
"Basil! Stay with us…!" My eyes were so heavy, and I couldn't open them. My limbs felt like they weighed a ton, I couldn't move them. I opened my mouth to speak, but to my surprise I couldn't. My heart was beating so quickly, like I was trying to fit in a lifetime's of heartbeats in just a few moments.
He's….not….responding…We're losing him!" I barely heard the voices, they sounded so far away. Pain that had sat on my skin for so long was beginning to fade. After a few seconds, I felt my body pulse away from the ground only to fall back to it again. Time and time again, I could feel my body being pulsed along the floor.
"Come…..on….don't….stop….don't….give….up…" Someone continued calling… with every word my body was lifted off the floor. Finally the pumping ceased, and for a long while voices had just remained silent.
"…Is…is he?" One person said sounding shaken, like they were choked up.
"Not if we don't let him…" Another said in determination. I wasn't sure what they were talking about, but I knew one thing…that I was fading to the blackness.
"Let's try killing something that's fake and not imaginary…shall we?" I heard myself say, I opened my eyes, seeing Sam standing in front of me. His silver eyes were wide in terror as he looked at Basil who lay on the floor. Basil, had looked so broken, his head on the floor, barely able to move. I felt my hand grip the crystal tightly as my gaze turned back to Sam, and I thought against it… but I couldn't release it, I couldn't move any part of my body. I was frozen, unable to do anything, unable to save anyone. My body quickly sprinted forward, and I tried to stop…please stop...don't do this. I looked at Sam, his eyes shut tightly as he yelled.
"No!" He yelled, shutting his eyes tightly. I felt my heart drop as my arm came back quickly to strike him. I couldn't stop and I was so scared, I was going to kill Sam…and there was nothing I could do to stop myself. I was trying to speak out against my body, but it wasn't slowing down, it wasn't stopping. I wasn't going to stop. But in the corner of my eye I saw a quick blur push Sam away from him, turning to face the monster that I had become.
"Take care of her…" He said, looking me in the eyes as I drove my crystal through him…and tears instantly came to me as I realized who it was…Basil. I felt instantly numb, I had just done the unthinkable…I stabbed Basil… his red eyes had still looked at me, and I was fighting to get back to them.
"Ack! He was right…but then…" He let out a horrid scream, and I winced at the thoughts that rushed through my mind. I had just stabbed one of my best friends.
"Agh! He was wrong…" He continued. I felt my heart rip in two, this was a dream…it had to be. There was no way that I could hurt him, let alone stab him.
"I-I still love you….I always have…and I guess I always will…" I felt a bit relieved to hear him say all that after what had happened; but I was still trying to find my way out, fighting, clawing, scratching, and yelling…anything I could to escape. My mind was stuck, and I could hear this voice in my head.
This is just perfect; driving you insane is just perfect.
"I-I just have one… t-thing to say…" He coughed, blood dripping from his face and onto my arm. I cringed at the horrific feel of his warm blood just dripping off my arm; I had him suspended above the floor as he whimpered in pain. I mentally cringed at the sight of myself torturing him.
"If…I…can't get to you…maybe…maybe this will…" He quickly leaned in, kissing my lips. I felt my fingers twitch and my heart beat a bit faster in anticipation; this was my chance to get out. I was running and fast as I could toward my friend's image in my mind.
No point in getting out, you're just going to sit and watch the show
"NO!" I mentally yelled. I blinked, having control of my body again; I was winning the control of my body back. I saw a faint smile on Basil's face, he saved me from myself.
"There you are…." He muttered, falling backwards. I reached out to grab him as he fell, I had to reach him. He was falling, farther and farther away from me.
I'm not finished with you yet!
I stopped, that voice ran in the back of my head again…your…not done? No, you've already done this to me! No! No! NO!
*End of Dream Scape*
"No! No! NO!" I yelled; gasping as my body shot up from the floor. I was gasping for air. My body was cold. I felt frozen like ice and I wrapped my arms around my legs and rested my head on my knees as my breathing slowly came back to normal. My heart was still racing, the nightmare was a reality…I had actually done that. I slowly looked up as I heard shuffling in the distance.
"Another nightmare?" I heard Sam ask. He quietly stretched and stood up and walked to me, sitting beside me as we looked at the dimly lit fire together. His finger twiddled in the dirt, looking up to the fire as its flames dimmed in the darkness. I sighed, putting my face back into my knees.
"I…can't get it out of my head." I whispered, shivering as the wind picked up. Sam quickly put a hand around my shoulder.
"Geez, your freezing! Come here…" He said, scooting behind me. He wrapped his arms around my body. His body was like a heater in the winter, warming things up the second they touch it. Regardless of the soft touch, I didn't look at him. After a few moments in silence, Sam spoke.
"Was it that same nightmare?" He said softly, and I just nodded my head in response.
"You're going to be okay; I promised you we would get through this, didn't I?" I sighed again, looking in the other direction. I had never faced anything like this before. I was scared; and as much as I didn't want to admit it, I wasn't sure what to do. But another thought crossed my mind, since I couldn't stop when I attacked Basil, what made me sure I could if I ever attacked Sam?
"It's just going to be hard at first…you'll see." He said, comfortingly.
"What if something like this happens to you…then what? What will I do then?"
"Nothing is going to happen to me…" He said, and I quickly turned back to him. I didn't know if I could control myself if I ever transformed back in that 'dark soul'. I was having the constant dreams on not being able to…I was terrified all the time, fearing I may hurt someone else. I would most likely hurt someone else I cared about…and it was an unsettling feeling. If something like this happened again, would I be able to stop myself before I hurt Sam? If I did hurt him, what would happen then?
"But…what...if it happens again…and I end up hurting you?" He simply remained quiet, and for the longest time all I heard was the crackling of the fire in front of me.
"You're not going to hurt me…" I simply took my right hand and ripped away from him and stood up. I quickly felt my heart stop. What if he was wrong? He had seemed so confident in the situation, but I wasn't…he couldn't trust me anymore….I didn't want him to trust me and then get hurt.
"You trust me too much…"
There's something inside me and it rest upon the surface. It's constantly there, acting and reacting to whatever is happening. It's confusing me by how it pulls me in the other direction; is it a never ending nightmare? I need to find myself again, but my opportunity is closing. I feel like I'm losing, this fight with myself. I can't control whatever it is, and I feel like I am watching my own reflection, finding imperfections as I just try to look past it…but I can't look past this… what is this inside me?
"But I know you…" Sam mentioned, whisking me away from my inner thoughts.
"You don't know me…I don't even know me. And you don't know what I'm capable of…I can seriously hurt you." I said, as I felt tears fall off my face. He quickly stood up and grabbed my shoulders as I faced away from him.
"I know enough to trust you…even when you don't trust yourself…" I quickly turned around and wiped that last tear from my eye. He smiled at me, and I quickly backed up. My emotions were so conflicted, I had to trust Sam…but I couldn't get too close, otherwise I might hurt him. What could I do?
"Sam, I can't…" I whispered, shaking my head violently. He grabbed my hand before giving me a reassuring smile. He leaned in closer to me, whispering in my ear.
"You can… you just have to trust me…" He whispered, just staring at me. I just continued to stare, neither of us moving at such a close proximity. I quickly realized my heart was racing again and my face was so hot…why?
"Y-you love him too." Basil's words continued to ring in my mind; I was trying to shake them from my thoughts since it just brought me back to sadness.
"You just fell in love… with him….and I…I accept that." Basil's words were making tears form in my eyes, and I was trying to fight through it. I didn't want to listen anymore, I was trying so desperately to push the thoughts from my mind, but that was proving pointless. No Basil, your wrong…just hear me…please.
"Listen to me…I want you to be happy…and I will be happy as long as you are…so if you are happy with him…that's okay too..." I felt tears stream down my face again, and I desperately tried to hide them. I was sad, and I knew I would be for a long time.
But…I am happy…" I sadly muttered. My head was fighting with me…perfect…
"Did you say something?" Sam asked. I quickly shook my head. But he noticed the tears that streamed down my face. But images just continued to play in my mind. Basil…please, stop…don't go, don't do this to me.
"That's why… I'm letting you go…you won't be free, to make a decision that will make you happy…unless I do…"
"You don't have to do this…you don't have to let go…"
"Letting go? What are you talking about…Summer?" Sam quietly mentioned, shaking my shoulders. I was wiping tears from my eyes left and right…but it didn't help. I was replaying all of the horrible images in my mind. The scary red eyes, the blood, the end…all of it that I had once had, was now gone.
"I…don't want to let go of what we have…" Sam just simply stared into my eyes. His eyes had looked so concerned with everything that I was going through. He knew he couldn't do anything but be supportive, but how can you?
"I…promise I won't…so breathe…relax…deep breaths." I was just quietly crying, tears streaming down my face. I couldn't get away from this, and I wanted to just disappear and forget about all of this. I was taking in hysterical deep breaths. My exhales had sounded so cold, like I was trapped in ice.
"Shhhh, you need to relax… I've got you; you don't have to worry anymore." I tried to take in slow breaths and my breathing slowly returned to normal. He grabbed my hand and quietly picked me up, cradling me in his arms. I shut my eyes tightly, every muscle tensing up.
"W-what are you d-doing…?" I asked, squirming a bit.
"Watching you, so you can get some sleep." He had slowly walked over, trying not to wake Grovyle from his sleep.
"But I…" I began to say, feeling a bit more then choked up. I couldn't sleep, and the dreams were far from peaceful.
"Don't argue with me…you need to sleep…this really isn't healthy for you." He said, carrying me back to his spot and sitting down.
"I'll watch over you…that way you won't have to be scared anymore." He said, just cradling me as he yawned. He gave me an odd look so I simply knew he wasn't kidding. I just lay my head against him, hearing his strong steady heart beat. I closed my eyes and sighed, something about this seemed peaceful. It had just seemed to relax me.
As he silently rocked back and forth, I simply tried to force myself to sleep. The words that rang in my head had ceased and it was silent, peaceful. I was peaceful. I quickly looked up to see him staring at the fire, his silver eyes glowing in the dark. He had looked very tired, but yet he stayed up because I couldn't sleep. He was a true friend, and he was always there for me, and I needed him now more than ever.
"Thanks Sam…" I quietly whispered, he just simply closed his eyes and sighed.
"Y-your welcome…" He said smiling, before laying his back against a rock to get some sleep. I just simply lay in his arms, much like I had when we were in the future. But something had seemed different; I didn't feel nervous like I previously had…I felt comfortable.
"You know…you really didn't have to stay up." He simply looked down at me in acknowledgement.
"I don't have to do a lot of things, but I do them because it's the right thing." I snuggled up a bit closer. My body was more than tired, and sleeping would more than help. So I closed my eyes and whispered something before I finally fell asleep.
"And that's…what I've always liked about you."
"And that's…what I've always liked about you." She said, finally dozing off in my arms. I smiled since she finally looked peaceful. She is constantly looking at me with such sadness and despair. I don't know what I can do to make her smile again… but I didn't blame her for acting this way. She had been through so much, and lost so much in one day…
"I know…that's what I liked about you too…" I whispered, simply trying to make myself comfortable. I smiled, simply leaning back on the rock. The soft fire continued to glow and I looked up at the sky for a moment, seeing a star twinkle in the distance…and I remembered about that shooting star…
"I wish that everything was the way it used to be…" I whispered. A twinkle flashed on the star, but as quickly as it had appeared, it was gone.
Had that star…granted my wish? When I wished for everything to be the way it used to be… did…my wish…come true? Was Basil not part of 'everything the way it used to be'? It had started with Summer and I…but…was that 'everything the way it used to be'?
"You guys are just made for each other…" My ears perked up and I quickly looked to the other side of the fire. I looked across the dancing red and orange flames seeing Grovyle laying on the other side. The soft glow sat on his body and his yellow eyes were looking at me sharply.
"Do you always have to watch me like that?" I asked, yawning again.
"Can't help but see what's right in front of me, Sam." Grovyle said, stretching out and walking to the other end of the fire toward me.
"I…can't…anymore…" I said, feeling a bit awkward. He just loves talking about this…I know he does…but it's not like he will ever admit it.
"What?" He asked, sort of confused. His shadow covered the fire as he sat down in front of me. His yellow eyes stood out, glowing in the night.
"I can't confess…I…I don't know how she would take it." He sighed, looking away and then looked back up at me.
"You're running out of time…" I frowned, confused on what he had meant by the subject.
"I am?" His eyes quickly widened.
"N-no. I'm just saying…time doesn't exist in my time…so you'd better say something before it doesn't exist." Grovyle's expression had turned back to normal. He had done it again, his odd statement.
"Oh…" I answered, trying to let it go.
"You have to tell her Sam."
"Why? I don't see why I should…" I heard a soft moan and I slowly looked down to see Summer snuggle tightly into my chest, a soft smile rested peacefully on her face. Obviously this was working for her. It was giving her a comforting peace of mind. She was able to sleep knowing I was watching her.
"I'm ….glad…your….here..." She softly said, before sleeping soundly again. I looked up at Grovyle and he had this sly smile on his face.
"Told you." He said, slightly chuckling before moving back over to his side. I frowned; I hate it when he's right. But regardless, I found myself smiling at the comment.
"She still needs closure…and I'm not going to push her…she just lost someone…" I said, feeling a tear stream down my face. I felt the same pain.
"I just lost someone…he was…my best friend…and I know I told her he would be okay…but…I'm not sure."
"Now…I understand…you can't tell her now because of everything that has happened…"
"Ya…but…I've waited this long…what's a little bit longer?" He smiled at me and nodded.
"You're very persistent; I honestly don't know how you could be…I mean considering everything." He said solemnly. I gripped the body that lay in my arms tighter.
"I…I know when she says something…she doesn't really mean it…I mean ya, it still hurts…but, She pushed me away because she thought it was the right thing to do; she wanted me to move on…because…she couldn't love me without hurting herself." I said, feeling a bit sad to hear myself say that. Her heart belonged to two people…so leaving one hurt her…she thought by getting me to move on, she could as well.
"Well, no one is stopping you now…"
"Ya, no one…except myself." He slowly nodded and lay back down before closing his eyes. He was curious on the subject, but not enough to pry any further.
"Well, you'll get past it."
"You think so huh?"
"You're the one that knows what she needs right now…" I quietly looked up at the sky. The black star twinkling across the black canvas we call space.
"She really needs a friend…and I intend to be that friend." Grovyle simply sighed, sending a smile across the bright flames.
"Why though? Why push yourself to be something that you really don't want to be? Don't you want to be more than just her friend?" I felt conflicted on the subject. I wanted to be more than just her friend…but that's selfish of me. I couldn't ask her to move on in such a short amount of time. It's not what she wants…its what she needs…and she really just needs support at the moment, not a boyfriend.
"Ya, I do…but I won't ask her…because a friend is what she needs…she needs me to be there for her." That sentence was more than true, and I suppose waiting a bit longer wouldn't hurt me. It had before since someone else was in the picture and now…I'm not even sure on his overall fate.
"You're a good friend, she's lucky…to have someone care for her like you do." He said. I felt a chill run up my spine.
"That's what I needed when I first met her…I needed someone to be a friend."
"Well, looks like you got that."
"Ya…and its made a difference." I smiled, leaning back on the rock to finally be claimed by sleep.
Sorry this is so short guys…promise the next one won't.
IMPORTANT~ Please READ!
So the next chapter will not be up for quite some time. This is for research and mood purposes. (One of my favorite parts in the game…it has to be perfect, you know?) I know you guys are very understanding in this department. I love you guys! Please review! I love to see your thoughts on this!
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