Chapter 15: Dazed and Confused in Dixieland
Clear Water, FL:
Brandon and Cassidy Montenegro were glued to the TV watching the coverage of the earthquake in Tijuana, after Hurricane Aurora swept Florida off the map this was not a surprise especially when they found out DX were in town.
"Man what is Triple H gonna do with that girl?" Miss. Taylor said to her boyfriend as he stroked her hair lovingly watching the news while Cassidy tried LC's phone again.
"It's not working," Cassidy said anxiously.
"I'm sure she's fine, this is LC we're talking about here if anyone can survive a flood, hurricane and earthquake it's her," Charlene said.
"I still say we go and check it out for ourselves, Charlotte and Dan are two of my best friends I wouldn't feel right if I didn't know for sure if they were all okay," Brandon said and Miss. Taylor agreed.
"Okay let's go," Cassidy said.
As they walked towards Brandon's car, Charlene noticed a WWE helicopter flying low to the ground it was almost landing, "Looks like the McMahons are in town, what do you think they want from TNA this time?" she said.
"Whatever it is I'm sure Dixie will laugh her pretty face off," Brandon said and the gang made their way to Tijuana.
Universal Studios, FL:
Inside TNA headquarters, President Dixie Carter sat across from the McMahons and listened to them explain their impromptu visit.
"I must point out that none of the TNA wrestlers are in town, they're in Tijuana," she said and Vince and Shane frowned.
"What?" Vince said shocked, "We just came from L.A there was an earthquake in Tijuana!"
"Are you aware of how dangerous it is for your talent to be anywhere near the West Coast right now Dixie? I have to say I thought you'd have more control over where your roster chooses to hang out," Linda McMahon said patronizingly and Dixie just smiled almost laughing at how rude the McMahons were to anyone who didn't share their last name.
"I am aware of the quake in Tijuana," she said gently. "I have spoken to my boys and girls and they have assured me that they're fine and they'll be back in time for the Impact tapings later on tonight," Dixie said.
"If it were me I wouldn't have let them leave the state, these are dangerous times Mrs. Carter, TNA can't risk losing revenue because of another natural disaster," Vince McMahon said.
"If you're referring to that freak hurricane that took place here awhile ago I know you had something to do with that Vince," Dixie said.
"I did not!" Vince snapped.
"Your grand-daughter did, I believe your ex son-in-law calls her Hurricane Aurora," Dixie continued.
"She's not part of my family anymore; she is now a Helmsley if you have a problem with what happened to the Impact Zone take it up with that no good sonofabitch, Triple H!" Vince replied angrily.
"You are Aurora's grandfather, she gets her powers from you," Dixie said.
"She does not!" Vince argued defiantly.
"She does Vincent, I know Triple H, he's a soft spoken, mild mannered polite young man, he's not got the genes to wipe out an entire promotion, that's pure McMadness," Dixie explained and Vince, Shane and Linda said nothing, "Don't blame Hunter for your grand-daughter's behavior, you McMahons brought this on yourself when you wrote that innocent child out of her inheritance,"
"How do you know all this Dixie, have you been trying to sign DX again?" Linda McMahon asked suspiciously.
"I would love Shawn and Hunter to come down south, Trish and Carlito live here it would be good for business, but they're loyal to their WWE fans and I respect that, my information comes from Nash and Hall, the Kliq," Dixie replied, "Good luck signing them, Scott, Sean and Kevin hate your guts and who can blame them?"
"I can!" Shane said getting to his feet, "Those two left us twice, the first time for WCW and then again for TNA,"
"And DX have stuck around only to have you try to destroy them at every single opportunity," Dixie said and shook her head in disgust, "No wonder Shawn's leaving after Wrestlemania," she said and the McMahons turned to stone, "I'm guessing by the looks on your faces you didn't know that,"
"Shawn's not going anywhere, he's mine for as long as he's needed!" Vince replied confidently and Dixie cocked her eyebrow Rocky style.
"Oh really, then why are DX sending out invitations to Shawn and Lita's wedding this Saturday, where, according to this invitation Shawn has a very special announcement to make?" Dixie said holding up the invite DX faxed over, the green and black lettering hitting the McMahons' eyes like a slap in the face.
"WHAT?" They said at the same-time, "Shawn, Lita - getting married?"
"I got my invitation, yours must be still be in the mail," Dixie said with a humored smile getting up to leave, "Now if ya'll would excuse me, I've got a wedding present to collect for what promises to be the most controversial wedding the wrestling world has ever seen, it says here right on the invitation,"
Dixie left her own office walking away from the three faces of Linda, Vince and Shane and their looks of complete and utter disbelief.
"Shawn and Lita are getting married?" Shane said.
"What the Hell happened to Edge and Lita's wedding in Toronto?" Linda said.
"Who the Hell writes "SUCK IT!" on their wedding invitation?" Vince yelled in complete disgust not recognizing the handwriting of LC, Cam-Cam, Chey and Carla while the Guerreros and the Mysterios did their ones in Spanish and sent them out to LAX's mailing list which covered the entire Latino Nation.
"DX do, that's who," Dixie Carter said to herself listening outside her office door before leaving TNA Headquarters to catch the next flight out of Dixieland, Florida to Los Loco Gringos, DX.
Charlotte and Dan watched the earthquake coverage back in their home where it was quiet and tremor free, the aftershocks didn't affect them there in Bakersfield, L.A. was still shaking and all travel out of LAX was cancelled, luckily Charlotte and Dan still had their parents' Predator 55 and it got them home safe and sound and was able to fit almost all the WWE and ECW Divas.
"Can I get you ladies another drink?" Dan asked Victoria, Candice and Mickie James.
"No thanks," MJ said.
"I wouldn't mind hearing about how you two met again," Layla asked twirling her hair around her fingers and Charlotte and Dan smiled at each other fondly.
"It was love at first sight," Dan said and Charlotte blushed, "the only thing that was missing was a child,"
"I can't have any children," Charlotte explained and the divas looked at her sympathetically.
"But God gave us a little girl, her name was Carla," Dan continued sitting down next to them all.
"She was being abused by her adoptive parents, Edge and Trish rescued her, we met her in Jamaica and invited her into our lives," Charlotte said, "But that's where the fairytale ends because . . . she went back to her real family,"
"She went back to those abusive foster parents?" Candice asked in shock.
"No, she went back to her real parents, well sort of," Dan said and the Divas frowned at her confused.
"It turns out that Carla is Jericho and Chyna's daughter and since Chyna and Jericho can't stand each other so Stephanie and Jericho have her now," Charlotte said wiping a tear away from her eye.
"Stephanie and Jericho took your little girl?" Ashley said in disbelief and Charlotte and Dan nodded.
"She's their little girl now," Charlotte said but Kelly Kelly shook her head that she was wrong.
"No you prayed for her, you met her against all the odds after Edge and Trish rescued her from an abusive family, she's your little girl," Kelly Kelly explained passionately and Layla shook her head in agreement.
"You have to fight for her," Layla said.
"Don't give up on having the perfect family because of a technicality," Mickie James said.
"Carla's a gift from God and she's worth every drop of your love, money can't buy what you've given that little girl I don't care how rich Jericho and Stephanie are," Candice said and Charlotte looked at Dan and together they considered how much time they had prayed for a child, waited for a miracle and then got one all because of ATM, were they really going to let DNA take that all away?
"You know we never asked Carla how things are going with Stephanie and Jericho," Charlotte said to him and Dan smiled knowing she never stopped wanting Carla back despite the brave face she put on everytime she heard her name.
"What do you girls say we hop back in the motor yacht and head south of the border for a little family reunion?" Dan said and the Divas raised their plastic cups in salute to the young family.
"What is your last name?" Ashley asked them.
"McCool," Dan replied.
"And Carla's IM is CarlaBCool, how cool is that?" Charlotte said.
"And you're gonna be the coolest family in the neighborhood, come on let's go!" Ashley said getting up excitedly and the Divas looked at her surprised by her change in attitude since the whole freak out over hearing about John Cena getting back together with Maria and asking her to marry him.
"Getting a kiss from Shawn Michaels will do that to a girl," Mickie James said and Charlotte fantasized about being the one who Shawn was gonna marry in less than 2 days.
"I wonder if I could borrow that Kiss of Life for the weekend?" Dan thought as they left the house and made their way over to the Predator 55, he'd use anything that could make his wife smile like that, it reminded him of the first time they saw that beautiful little Canadian and knew in the depths of their souls that she was destined to be a McCool. Now all they had to do was get her away from a woman who already had lost more than most people lost in an entire lifetime and a man who really thought in the depths of his soul that he was the King of the World.
"Ashley why aren't you getting in?" Layla asked as everyone else got in the motor yacht while Massaro just stood their watching them, a cruel smile suddenly appeared over her face and Dan's face twisted into a hideous shape.
"It's the Whore of Babylon!" Mickie James cried and took Ashley down or at least tried to, Ashley had supernatural strength and knocked MJ back into the other Divas and they flew out of the boat leaving Dan alone in there with Charlotte.
"I should have known you'd try to escape me Daniel," Ashley said looking directly at Dan who had turned to stone and Charlotte panicked because ATM weren't around to help her, "No-one escapes my wrath!" Ashley yelled in a dark and garbled voice that was from out of this world, she was not herself, she was the Whore of Babylon again.
"I guess she didn't take the news about John and Maria getting back together very well after all," Victoria said to Candice who was starting to grow at an incredible rate.
"Oh my God!" Candice shrieked as she shot up to the air her head touching the clouds, "What's happening to me?"
The other Divas huddled around Charlotte as Candice and Ashley grew to over 30ft.
"Pump it Charlotte get us outta here!" Kelly Kelly cried and Charlotte McCool turned on the ignition and ripped through the water left from the flash flood all the way back to Los Angeles away from the giant Playboy covergirls whom Dan had seen naked on many, many, many occasions despite Charlotte telling him to throw his old Playboys out ages ago.
"Men never listen; take it from me girls, enjoy single life!" Charlotte said and the Divas nodded with eyes fixed on the two women they called their friends who were now tearing the houses of Bakersfield and soon the rest of Southern California apart. They had to get to Tijuana before it was too late, the Divas couldn't help but wonder what was happening to Torrie Wilson and Christy Hemme right about now as they had posed in Playboy too and were also vulnerable to the Whore of Babylon's attacks but she wasn't interested in attacking them, her next target was the First Lady of Degeneration X.