Chapter 21: Water Babies
Imperial Beach, midnight:
Nobody was gonna get any sleep tonight, especially with Melina and Nitro yelling hurtful accusations at each other, Lita wasn't the only one who wanted some quiet time.
"Gees are they ever gonna stop?" Hunter said cozying up to Chyna who hugged him close to her chest tenderly. A makeshift fire burned in the middle of the beach keeping the wrestlers warm, everyone was huddled around like ladybirds trying to keep warm in the winter but hearing Mr. and Mrs. Hennigan argue was sending a cold chill down their spines.
"Its gonna be difficult to get some sleep tonight," Chyna said and Hunter sighed and kicked HBK who was sound asleep dreaming about Lita.
"I do the kicking around here!" Shawn said angrily as Hunter pulled him up to a sitting position by his hair.
"Ow what's with your hair it's so hot!" Hunter said shaking out his hand and the other wrestlers started to warm their cold hands over Shawn's head while the Showstoppa sat like a Buddha thinking about Lita again.
Shad and JTG looked at each other as something caught their ears, "Did you hear that?" JTG said and Shad nodded as a howl came from the dock, "Either I'm dreaming or Lita's at it again," Shad said and Edge nodded.
"Definitely the last thing you said," he said with a cheeky grin and Matt Hardy slapped him around the head sending his taco into the fire, "You owe me 1,000 pesos!" Edge complained.
"Well watch your mouth, don't talk about Lita like you know how to get her excited like that," Matt replied and Edge was about to tear into them when the makeshift fire blazed up wildly and Shawn's hair was burning so brightly you could see it in the dark.
"Sorry Shawn!" Edge and Matt Hardy said at the same-time and the fire blazed even higher, "Sorry St. Michaels!" they corrected themselves and Shawn cooled down.
"Um Anointed guy, you missed my eyebrows by like that much!" Hunter said shielding his eyes from the bright flame Shawn's Righteous Indignation ignited along with everybody else.
"Nobody talk about Lita no more, now let's talk about the band, Edge who did you pick to sing at me and Lita's wedding?" Shawn asked his eyes going back to normal and everyone missing the heat and found themselves filling cold again.
"My nipples are gonna cut through my shirt at this point," Mickie James complained to Victoria, Candice and Torrie, "I say we trash Lita some more who's with me?"
Torrie, Candice and Victoria looked at each other deviously and decided to have a little fun at the former Women's Champion's expense, "We're with you MJ," Victoria said, Mickie James smiled and got to her feet.
"Shawn I wrote a song about Lita and I think you should sing it at your wedding wanna hear it?" MJ said enthusiastically and Shawn smiled impressed with Mickie James gracious offer.
"Sure let me hear it!" he said enthusiastically too and Victoria, Torrie and Candice started to regret supporting this rib.
"I think I'll take a swim," Victoria said and Torrie and Candice nodded.
"Wait for us!" the Playboy Cover girls said running behind her much to the other wrestlers' confusion. A powerful wave sent the three Divas flying back and the makeshift fire was put out instantly.
"This is the last time I'm telling you people to go away!" Lita yelled from the middle of the ocean not wanting to be disturbed from her rapturous thoughts and Shawn got up to join her when Mickie James pulled him back.
"Wait Shawn I haven't sung my song yet!" she said earnestly.
"No Mickie no!" Victoria, Torrie and Candice exclaimed in a panic.
"Okay come with me, you can sing it to us both," Shawn said hugging Mickie James to him and escorting her to that fiery red-head smoldering in the cool blue ocean and Victoria, Torrie and Candice thought they might have a heart-attack but decided to stay well away from the explosion that was about to take place one Shawn and Lita heard MJ's ode to the Lita of old.
"Lita Mickie James wrote a song and she wants me to sing it at our wedding isn't that wonderful?" Shawn beamed enthusiastically and Lita cocked a suspicious People's Eyebrow at the Heartbreak Kid.
"She did?" Lita asked pulling Shawn into the water and hugging him over to her and went to kiss him when Shawn pulled away and said.
"Not until Saturday my love," and Lita nodded that she understood, "G'head Mickie show us what you got," Shawn said turning to the bubbly Stratus fanatic, she clapped her hands together put on a big smile and started to sing her ode to Lita.
"I knew this girl called Lita . . ." she started.
"Uh-huh," Shawn said liking the way it started.
"And she was really cool," MJ continued and Lita nodded along.
"Good so far," she said intrigued.
"The boys really liked her and they said "LITA RULES!" Mickie continued and Shawn clapped his hands loving it.
"I'm loving this!" he said and Lita blushed at how much he loved her it was like water in the desert; she couldn't live without it.
"But then she went all slutty . . . " Mickie James continued and Shawn and Lita went ghostly white.
"WHAT?" they said at the same-time.
"And she got really fat," MJ continued laughing and the ocean started to bubble.
"THAT'S ENOUGH!" Shawn roared but MJ just loved the heat coming from the Anointed Couple and so did the wrestlers cowering together at the top of the beach.
"But Shawn don't mind cause she's his kind he likes his ho's like that!" MJ finished and the sand was now scorching hot as was the entire area much to the wrestlers' amusement, the same could not be said for the couple who Mickie James was singing about.
"I have a confession to make," Lita said to Shawn who was fuming so hard his face was pulsating, "I love it when you get angry," she said adoring his profile, Shawn turned to face her and she could see his orbs blazing with fury.
"In that case baby, get ready to fall head of heels in love with me," he said and ran after MJ who was laughing hysterically at them both.
"Oh no what you gonna do you know it's the truth, all Lita is to you is a good lay admit it? You don't love her you love her body," Mickie James said feeling all nice and warm like a fresh bun straight out of the oven.
"Well you know what I think Mickie James?" Shawn asked stalking the little Diva, "I think you wish you were me and you were the one marrying Lita, I don't think that Kiss of Life I gave you took, so pucker up girlfriend!" Shawn said grabbing Mickie James and Kissing Life back into her and when he stopped she was filled with absolute revulsion.
"My mouth tastes like ashes!" she cried hysterically feeling like she'd just swallowed an ashtray, "What did you do to my lips?" she panicked feeling the chaffed skin where her pouty lips used to be.
"Isn't it obvious? You burned Lita so I burned you, now no man will ever want to kiss you ever again!" Shawn said smugly and everyone laughed at Mickie's burned lips.
"BURN!" all the guys went and the girls turned away in disgust.
"Turn me back Shawn I'm sorry I just didn't want to freeze to death out here!" MJ pleaded shielding her bruised mouth.
Shawn thought about it, "Um, nah," he said and went back down to the woman of the hour his vicious but delicious Lita, "I told ya'll not to mess with Lita and I'm a tell you one more time or else you gonna get burned, case point: Mickie James, you've been warned!" he called back to them and everyone nodded and decided to lay off the Lita's a slut jokes from now on lest they never kiss their wives, husbands, children or significant others ever again.
"On a much lighter note, what band did you pick to sing at the two nut-jobs wedding Edge?" Hunter asked the Rated R Superstar, the R now stood for Rejected; at least it did in Matt Hardy's head. Edge was about to answer when everyone's attention was once again diverted by a woman screaming, but it wasn't a joyful noise or amorous sound just the opposite; it was Melina crying and it was so awful the wrestlers covered their ears to drown out the sound. Sting opened his eyes and saw the ocean water starting to sway, after hanging around with ATM he knew that something bad was about to happen. Lita ran over to Melina and tried to comfort her but it was too late, the water was rising, her anguish was affecting Hurricane Aurora in the worst way and Lil H wasn't going to put up with Melina's balling one second more than she had to, it was way past her bedtime and this miraculous missy was cutting into her nap-time!
"Melina it's going to be alright you have to forgive him or we're all going to drown!" Lita cried gripping her little sister in Christ by the shoulders like her life depended on it and it did. Shawn turned to Lita confused.
"You can't calm the water with your Anointing?" Shawn asked puzzled by the fearful look in Lita's eyes.
"No I can't undo it, Melina's powers are determined by her ability to heal people, she can't use them if she's mad at her husband, she has every right to be mad, the Bible said to honor your wife not dishonor her Shawn!" Lita explained.
"But God wouldn't let her use her powers for evil," Shawn said determined not to drown before Saturday, he had a big day planned!
"God's on her side Shawn, she doesn't care what happens to Nitro, only Jesus does and He can't do anything without His Father's permission," Lita explained and Hunter rubbed his face in frustration.
"Wait are you saying if Melina wants to she could drown us all and save you and Trish?" he asked and Lita nodded and everyone started to pray not wanting to go to Hell.
"Good keep going!" Lita said encouraging them to bombard the Heavens with praises as the waves waved over the shore and started to pull the wrestlers in.
"Melina's using my daughter's supernatural powers to get back at Nitro for kissing an ECW chick?" Stephanie McMahon said running over to Lita with Jericho, The Rock, The McMahons and Trish.
"Aurora's a servant of God remember, she stopped being your daughter when you wrote her out of her inheritance," Hunter reminded Stephanie disdainfully.
"So we're all gonna drown?" Jericho panicked pulling his hair out.
"Well we won't," Trish said pointing to her sisters in Christ, " and neither will Shawn, Randy, Carlito, Shelton, the McCools, the Montenegros or the Kliq, the rest of you are unrepentant heathens and the Lord has no problem washing you all away,"
"So this is what God needed Aurora's powers for," LC said jumping on her father's back while Dan and Charlotte ran over to Carla and motioned for everyone to follow them.
"To the DX to the Extreme!" Charlotte cried and the wrestlers followed the McCools to the dock which was almost under water.
"This is so bad, Nitro you killed us all!" Mr. Kennedy said running towards the fluorescent green and metallic blue motor yacht along with all the other wrestlers from the WWE and TNA.
"It was just a kiss what's the big deal?" Nitro said and a huge wave came and dragged him into the water.
"Oh my God!" the wrestlers cried as they climbed aboard the DX to the Extreme watching in horror as Nitro tried to fight the tide but Aurora's powers were too strong and Melina's heart was too cold for him to overcome their wrath.
"Melina I know you're hurt, especially since it was your husband who unleashed the Whore of Babylon and all that but do you want to be responsible for your husband's death?" Shawn asked Melina but the Latina's heart was closed to all reason; she was a woman scorned and she had reached the end of her marital rope with John "Nitro" Hennigan; as far as she was concerned, he could go straight to Hell. God had a better idea.
"You're gonna lose your healing powers if you go through with this!" Trish warned her but Melina was way past caring.
"Or worse, you'll never fall in love again!" Randy Orton warned her and Melina's heart melted at that thought. After seeing how happy Shawn was with Lita after the odds they faced to be together love was the only thing she believed in now, she knew it was out there, she also knew who it was she was really supposed to be with and as much as she hated him for crushing on other women, Nitro was her true love and the father of her first child. She told God she would love him in the good times and the bad and this was one of those bad times that made the good times very easy to forget, so to keep love alive in her heart and in the heart of her unborn child, Melina reached out to the man who would talk to God for her even if he'd forgotten that he could.
"Carlito," she said reaching for the cool one's hands and everyone's watched eagerly - except Trish's of course who was smiling like a Cheshire cat as God's impartation to her was about to come to pass.
"Why are you holding my hand are you cold or something?" Carlito said oblivious to what was going on even though it was blatantly obvious to everyone else who wasn't suffering from Kiss of Life Amnesia.
"Nitro isn't my true love, my true love is in here," she said caressing her swelling stomach and Carlito's eyebrows rose in shock, he turned to Trish in disbelief.
"You know I thought you were the one I was going to get pregnant," he told her and Trish tried not to cry at the many great and wonderful times she and Carlito had spent together in the past that would have made that possible.
"It probably wouldn't have worked out anyway Carlito, why don't you give Melina your hand?" Trish said wiping a tear from her eye but Carlito didn't seem willing to do that.
"I'd rather hold yours Stratus," he said charmingly as the waves kept on rising.
"The Rock said hold the woman's hand!" The Rock said watching the water pull Nitro under as Carlito eyed Trish.
"Okay-okay no need to yell," Carlito said and he gave Melina his hands which Melina placed on her stomach, suddenly the Miraculous one fell back and out of the DX to the Extreme into the water. The wrestlers gasped in fright concerned about the baby as well as the mother but Trish and Lita told them it was okay, the water suddenly stilled, the waves ceased and everybody looked at Trish and Lita wanting an explanation.
"The heartache I caused was equal to the heartache Nitro caused Melina, but together they cancelled out Nitro's betrayal making things right again," Trish explained and everyone blew a sigh of relief.
"But Melina has lost her miraculous healing powers so no-one get sick," Lita added and Hunter sneezed, "What did I just say?" Lita said and Hunter gawked at her as Aurora waved her rattle back and forth cheerily now that the wailing had finally stopped and Lita smiled at Chyna, "You two are gonna make a huge difference in this girl's life," she said and Chyna wondered what her old friend meant, "Aurora Rose is an emotional barometer she hates heartache, now that her mother's moved on and you two are back together, both her parents are happy and Melina will be too as soon as her baby is born,"
Hunter frowned, "What does Melina have to do with Aurora's happiness?" he asked confused.
"It's called the rule of the Firstborn, it's not about you, Steph, Chyna and Aurora being happy, its about Lisa, Carla and Cameron being happy. You see Lisa, Carla and Cameron are all firstborns and now the Kliq is back together, your firstborns will bless the latter children, of which Cheyenne is the first, Aurora is the second and Melina's baby is the third. Three means completion in the Heavenlies and the third baby will lead to the rebirth of ATM," Trish explained and Cameron, LC and Carla gasped.
"There's going to be another ATM?" they said at the same-time and Trish smiled at their excitement about another angelic trio being formed.
"Yes but there's a dispute over the third member," Trish said and Lita frowned.
"I never heard about no dispute, what have you been keeping from me now Truth?" the Anointed one said indignantly and The Truth smiled slyly and stroked the Anointed one's hair which had cooled down considerably.
"In time my angelic sister, all shall be revealed," she said and everyone let out a huge moan especially LC who took Aurora's rattle and threw it at Trish in frustration with God's Instant Messenger, "I knew she was gonna do that," Trish said holding her head, "Kids are so impatient, I don't know how you and Mel are going to manage Lita," she said and Lita and Shawn went white and the jaws of everyone aboard the DX to the Extreme dropped to the deck and Trish realized she just let the big cat out of the bag, "Did I just say that out loud?" she said regretfully and Shawn and Lita nodded both their jaws swinging from the hinges of their mouths, Trish decided to bail from the scene by jumping overboard and joining Melina in her search and rescue of Johnny "Scumbag" Nitro.
"You told Lita she was having Shawn's baby didn't you?" Melina said putting two-and-two together as she applied the Heimlich maneuver to her unfaithful husband.
"When are you gonna tell Nitro God gave you permission to castrate him?" Trish countered and Melina shushed her as Nitro coughed up the excess water in his lungs, the water in his ears drowned out the conversation that was going to make him the laughing stock of the entire WWE locker room if he didn't start treating his wife with the respect she deserved.