Chapter 22: Light of a Clear Blue Morning
San Diego Bay, 4am:
The wrestlers continued to cruise along the Pacific Ocean and were now in San Diego Bay; The McMahons didn't take too kindly to being left out and called the coastguard on DX saying they violated US laws by crossing into Mexico illegally. Shawn and Hunter had has just about enough of their boss and his irritating family so they offered the coastguard backstage passes to RAW if they turned back and he accepted.
"What the Hell?" Vince McMahon said from as the coastguard began to turn around, "You arrest those degenerates now!"
The coastguard shook his head and Shane O'Mac snatched the backstage passes from him angrily, "Hey wait-a-minute, these aren't official backstage passes, they're Pokemon cards!"
"Is it Pikachu, my daughter loves Pickachu!" the coastguard said and the McMahons frowned as the DX to the Extreme rolled on and through the bay as the children slept and the adults tried their best to but with Hunter driving that was almost impossible.
"Hey babe why don't you let someone else drive this yacht, someone who won't get us all killed?" Chyna said rubbing her boyfriend's shoulders as he spun out over a rock or what he thought was a rock.
"What was that?" LC said waking up.
"We hit something, it was a rock," Cameron said waking up next to her and Carla looked down at the hole in the deck .
"A big freaking rock!" she said and ran up to the top deck to alert the adults that they were about to sink.
"Quick Melina, Trish, Lita do something!" Hunter asked ATM and the other wrestlers didn't think they were in the right frame of mind right now; Trish was depressed over losing Carlito's friendship, Melina was angry with her husband's roving eye and Lita well, she was catatonic over the news that she was going to have Shawn Michaels' baby and the Showstoppa noticed that she was out of sorts and kissed her shoulder tattoo gently.
"You okay darlin'?" he said sweetly his touch bringing her back to reality, Lita rested her head on his and smiled, Shawn wrapped his arms around her waist and caressed her flat stomach adoringly, "I can feel your tension, you got butterflies in your belly, having a baby ain't nuthin to worry about Lita,"
"I'm not worried I'm scared," Lita confessed and everyone's stared at the Anointed couple in disbelief as they ignored the fact that the DX to the Extreme was sinking.
"You know there's plenty of time for baby talk on dry land!" Mr. Kennedy said sarcastically.
"What are you scared of anyway, Shawn's got more money than God you're going to be fine," Mickie James said trying to avoid the rising water and desperately trying to get the charred smell off of her lips.
"God doesn't need money He gets in free everywhere," Lita replied and Shawn laughed and the fiery red-head turned to him and he saw that she really was scared, "I used to be so focused on being a performer but I can't act my way out of this, Shawn having your baby is like a dream come true!" she said elated and Shawn couldn't understand why she didn't look as happy as she sounded, and the fact that she was squeezing his hands so tight bothered him, "But that doesn't mean I'll be a good mother now does it?" she said and Shawn chuckled to himself much to Lita's annoyance, "This isn't funny I'm serious!" the Anointed one said.
"You ask Chey and Cam who their favorite WWE Diva is and then you tell me you won't be a good mother," HBK said calming Lita with gently circles over her cold hands with his warmer ones, "Plus my old lady really likes you, she knew I would fall in love with you,"
Lita gasped, "No she didn't she never trusted me around you or your children,"
"She didn't trust me around you and that's what led to her heartache, but don't make the same mistake Big Red, trust me; I know a good woman when I see her and you will be a mother to my child, and not because I say so either," Shawn said and Lita frowned confused.
"I don't understand what you mean," she said confused and Shawn kissed her. As their lips touched the water dried up from the heat emanating from the Anointed Couple's bodies. They ignited the sky, killing thousands of fish in the process and that suited the wrestlers just fine because they were starving.
Shawn pulled away from Lita's smoking hot lips and waited for her to open her eyes and tell him if she still had doubts that she was going to have his baby, Lita drew her hands down his bronzed chest and gave him a satisfied smile. Trish smiled in spite of herself and Melina applauded them both, they were so in love it was infectious, she looked down at Nitro who was cowering in fear that she was going to slap him stupid for what he did with Brooke from Extreme Expose.
"Is there anything I can do to get back into your good graces?" he asked and Melina shook her head and he sighed in frustration and Randy Orton sighed torn between helping Melina and helping Nitro, he really preferred to help the Miraculous one, mostly because of the crush on her that never went away but subsided, things were a little different now and The King's Oracle had to do his job and that meant being impartial.
"Guys I have an idea," he said to the unhappily married young couple, "I'll ask Vince to book me and you in a match on RAW and the winner gets Melina's managerial services, if you win, Melina you have to fall back in love with Nitro and forgive him for his unfaithfulness,"
"Pero no puedo perdonarlo que él me traicionó él tiene que ganar mi parte posteriora del amor/
but I can't forgive him he betrayed me he has to earn my love back," Melina argued but Randy told her to zip it.
"I'm not done yet baby," he said and Nitro didn't like the way he called his angry wife "baby" and it was going to be clear why momentarily, "If I win, you get to be my girl again only this time it will be for real," Orton said and the RAW locker room loved it thinking it was the perfect way for Melina to get back at her husband as the wrestlers poured out of the DX to the Extreme onto the hot sand off Chula Vista just a hop and a skip from San Diego airport.
"NO WAY!" Nitro jumped up in a rage which was quickly extinguished by the fire burning through the eyes of Shawn and Lita.
"YES WAY!" they said at the same-time and Nitro backed down, "You blow it, Melina walks outta your life and into Randy's, case closed," HBK said and Lita nodded taking the Showstoppa's arm and he escorted her off the yacht onto the beach where their friends and family were ready to eat.
"Yo Big Red, throw a little fire on these fishes and lets get eating!" Shad said and Lita shook her head telling everyone to stop collecting all the fish that she and HBK had killed.
"This is our wedding food, you can't have fish for breakfast," Lita said and everyone argued that yes they could since they were losing their minds because of all the drama over the past week.
"Okay everybody we have to take care of something first," Trish said pointing to the dry ocean where the water had evaporated.
"How did you two do that?" LC asked Shawn and Lita on her father's back.
"We didn't want you to die so we used our Righteous Indignation to dry up all the water," Lita explained.
"Their kiss was more of a rescue than an act of passion," Trish explained.
"So can you put the water back?" Charlotte asked and Shawn and Lita nodded.
"After we pick up all these fish," Shawn said and noticed that nobody was helping him, "the sooner ya'll help us the sooner we can get outta here," he said but the wrestlers didn't see the point in fishing for what they couldn't eat.
"Do you mean to tell us that all we're having for reception dinner is fish?" MVP said and Lita scratched her head.
"Is he invited to the wedding?" she asked Shawn.
"No," HBK answered.
"Hey how come I don't get no invite and Kennedy, Benoit and Bookah get to go?" MVP asked indignantly.
"Did we invite SD?" Lita asked Shawn.
"No," HBK said.
"Then who did ya'll invite to your wedding?" Undertaker asked curiously.
"Nobody," Shawn and Lita said at the same-time and they pointed to LC, Carla, Cameron and Cheyenne, "They took care of the invitations, ask them," Shawn said and he and Lita resumed collecting all the fish and putting them in the DX to the Extreme for cooking back in Tijuana tomorrow. The wrestlers turned to the children who were barely awake.
"LC?" MVP asked Triple H's warrior princess.
"You're not invited," she said and MVP balked in horror.
"Carla?" Mr. Kennedy said to the cute Canadian blond.
"You're not invited," she replied on Dan's back.
"Cameron are we invited?" the WWE Divas asked Shawn's only son.
"Ask my girlfriend what she thinks of your behavior over the past month and that should answer your question," Cameron said in Chyna's arms.
"So who's invited?" Cryme Tyme asked the children at the same-time.
"You," Cameron replied and Cryme Tyme did a victory dance.
"Edge," LC added.
"Yes!" the Edgemeister shouted.
"Matt Hardy," Aaliyah Mysterio added over her father's shoulder.
"Jeff Hardy if he's back from Heaven in time," Sherilyn Mysterio added in Vickie Guerrero's lap.
"Shelton and Krystal," Cassidy added on her brother's knee.
"Batista and Undertaker," Cheyenne added and Cameron looked at her questioningly and Shawn's little girl shrugged, "I like monsters," she said.
"What about The Rock?" The Rock asked the sleepy children who were on the verge of waking up with the sun which was coming up over the horizon.
"We're not sure, you kind of big headed," Cheyenne said and The Rock removed his shades and gave her the People's Stare.
"What do you mean by that?" he said in full Brahma mode.
"That's what daddy says," Cheyenne explained and HBK nodded and The Rock ignored him.
"Yeah well if Trish is coming I'm coming and there ain't nothing you can do about it sweetheart," The Rock told Cheyenne who rubbed her sleepy eyes, reached into her backpack, pulled out her inivite list and crossed Rocky's name off it showing him what she just did and knocking the smile off his face.
"You're name's not on the list you're not coming in, I don't care how cute you are," she said and the wrestlers all laughed as The Rock went into full cocky heel mode.
"Like father like daughter, you Michaels' love to talk smack, you better put Kane on the door cause I am going to be there for some of that cod, mackerel and shark-tail your old man is collecting up over there!" The People's Champ declared and turned his nose up to the air and said his notorious catch phrase, "IF YOU SMELLL - " at least he tried to then a fish slapped him in the face courtesy of the Heartbreak Kid's Big Red sweetheart Lita.
"Shut your mouth!" she said and The Rock started to cuss her out, big mistake as HBK threw fish after fish at him in Lita's defense.
"When Jesus fed those five thousand with fish and bread I don't think this is how he did it," Hunter said looking out over the dry ocean seeing Vince, Shane and Linda walking towards them on the sea bed, "Shawn if you'd stop throwing fish for a second, now would be a good time for you and Big Red Badass to fill the ocean back up,"
"Really?" HBK said looking back towards Tijuana and saw what Hunter saw and smiled along with his DX partner.
"Yeah really," Hunter said, Shawn took Lita's hand and withdrew their Righteous Indignation sending the water back in to the pacific much to the horror of the Chairman, his son and his wife.
"Oh no," Vince said as the water filled up around them, "Let's get to the shore, swim dammit swim!" he admonished his family as they reached the DX to the Extreme and climbed inside, they missed the surging water by a nano second.
"You disappoint me Shawn, is that all your God can do to stop the McMahon family huh?" Vince asked HBK who looked at Hunter and Lita who was worried about the fish Vince was about to take off with, she had totally forgotten about the hole in the bottom of the motor yacht wondering why DX were being so cool about it.
"Come on guys The McMahons are taking the DX to the Extreme and our wedding food, there was a swordfish in that lot not to mention a bunch of good looking crabs!" she complained to Shawn and Hunter who smiled at her nonchalantly.
"How far do think they'll make it before they realize the boat's filling up with water?" Shawn asked Hunter trailing a curious finger down Lita's back putting a smile on the red-head's face, I could really get used to this the former Women's Champion said circling her stomach wondering when she was gong to get pregnant and decided to grill Trish after she and Melina stopped having a fish fight with the other wrestlers and family members.
"WE'RE SINKING, DAMN YOU SHAWN, DAMN YOU HUNTER - YOU WON'T GET AWAY WITH THIS YOU DEGENERATES, WE'RE COMING TO THAT WEDDING AND I DON'T CARE WHAT GOD HAS TO SAY ABOUT IT!" Vince McMahon yelled, Shawn looked over at Hunter and sighed.
"I'm really gonna need your help this weekend best man, Vince is gonna go all out to make the happiest day of my life the worse day of my life," Shawn said and Hunter put a big arm around both Shawn and Lita and smiled at them assuringly.
"I'm gonna be the best man I should have been the first time Shawn, don't worry my old friend, you and Amy are in my very capable, lovable, kissable, adorable - "
"Hunter stop picturing us having sex!" Lita said and Hunter took his hand back.
"I guess you don't want the Cerebral Assassin to do security at your wedding then," he said in a huff and Lita sighed.
"Okay you can picture us having sex," she agreed and Shawn was about to berate his best friend when he remembered that he was the one who was actually going to have sex with Lita - and soon, "You okay Shawn you look a little red?" Lita said as Shawn's cheeks burnt up right in front of her eyes.
"We got a Star 69, a Star 69!" Hunter yelled to Chyna who ran over to them taking Lita by the arm while Hunter took Shawn to one side while Trish and Melina tried to wrestle them both away from the Anointed Couple and assured them everything was going to be just fine.
"Shawn why don't you show Lita that dress you were gonna buy her?" Trish said to Shawn cheerfully.
"It got ruined during the Battle of the 30ft Playboy Covergirls," Shawn confessed.
"I'm sure they have it somewhere in San Diego, you can take Lita shopping and hopefully you'll like it once its on her," Melina said to Lita with a giggle and Lita frowned.
"I told you I don't like dresses," Lita told Shawn who tried to stop blushing but Trish and Melina weren't making it easy for him at all, now all he could think about was what Lita looked like naked.
"Without you in it, it's just a dress but once you get into it, there won't be a girl more beautiful for 1,000 miles," he said and everybody went "AW!" at the same-time.
"My Hummer's parked up a little way from here I could drive you to the mall," Randy Orton said.
"Actually I'd prefer if it was just me and my girl, thanks all the same kid," Shawn said as Lita tried to contain her overwhelming emotions as Shawn took her hand and walked down to Chula Vista with her and the WWE and TNA wrestlers carrying all the fish they caught and following behind them wanting to see how hot this dress was and how long before Shawn Michaels could go without seeing his bride-to-be wearing nothing but her Mona Lita smile and right now, she wasn't wearing much else.