Chapter 27: Death Becomes Them
Y2J's apartment, Downtown L.A, 10:30am:
Vince, Shane and Linda McMahon sat quietly around the coffee table in Chris Jericho's cool Los Angeles apartment waiting for Stephanie and Lita to arrive. Shawn had no choice he had to be quiet because he was gagged and blindfolded, he didn't know where he was all he knew was that Lita wasn't with him and Hunter was miles away.
Lita's father told The McMahons not to make a sound or he was gonna knock Shawn's head off and they believed him; the man was holding a sledgehammer for crying out loud and not the one Hunter was gonna use on him when he arrived, this one was dirty, rusty and heavy and if Mr. Dumas didn't get his $1 million dollars today he was gonna put it through Shawn's head, or so he thought.
"What was that?" Mr. Dumas called out as the apartment started to shake, he looked over at Chris Jericho for an answer, "Answer me blondie!" he roared at the quiet Canadian who hoped The McMahons knew what they were doing.
Blondie? Shawn thought, he can't be talking about Trish?
"Speak to me you stupid Canuck!" Mr. Dumas roared again, "What you can't afford a real outfit so you had to make your own? What is that shirt made out of shrink wrap?"
"Jericho!" Shawn mumbled through his gag, "Where's Stephanie I know her father's behind this!" he spat but no-one said anything, mostly because they couldn't understand him but purely because there was an angry man wielding a sledgehammer over his head and they were scared to death.
"Shawn shut up," Jericho hissed but HBK wasn't in the negotiating mood; sensing someone was leaning over him he pushed the chair he was tied to back on its hind legs knocking Mr. Dumas into the wall, the he bolted forward towards the door and Vince and Shane ran after him and pulled him back into the centre of the room.
"Who are you?" Shawn yelled hysterically but the gag muffled his words, Vince and Shane said nothing and Linda watched for Stephanie on the doorstep waiting for this madness to end.
"You better pray he doesn't bleed, Lita won't ask questions if she sees her beloved's blood, she'll kill you on the spot," Jericho said and Shane and Linda gulped but Vince wasn't fazed; he was going to get his wedding invitation to the biggest wedding in WWE history one way or another but he really didn't think this thing through and now it was too late.
"Here they come," Linda called as Stephanie pulled up in Jericho's car and she wasn't alone, "Oh Vince?" Linda said nervously and Shane and his father sighed in anguish: their cover was blown now Shawn knew The McMahons were in the room and therefore responsible for his abduction, they were liable and that meant Shawn could walk out on his contract no questions asked and worse . . . he could have children with one of the sexiest Divas in WWE history and never have time to wrestle and the wrestling world would lose one of its greatest wrestlers ever!
"NO!" Vince wailed in dread and ripped off the gag around HBK's mouth and took of the blindfold letting HBK's eyes and mouth breathe.
"Vince!" Linda snapped annoyed that he hadn't responded.
"What is it Linda I'm busy," Vince said as Shawn kicked his legs furiously at the WWE mogul as he tried to untie him.
"Hunter and Chyna came with Steph and Lita," Linda said and Jericho laughed; things were really going to get ugly now that all three members of DX and Lita were here.
Shawn attacked Vince as soon as his arms were free and Shane tried to pull him off his father but Hunter jumped on his back and pulled him off, then Stephanie jumped on his so her brother could get free, then Linda pulled Shane away to safety, unfortunately no-one pulled Shawn away to safety and he was left at the mercy of Lita's father who clubbed him with his sledgehammer, busting him wide open.
Hunter went to nurse the wound and got his best friend's blood all over his hands, Shawn fell to his knees and the blood seeped into his eyes, as he tried to focus all he could see was the outline of a red-headed beauty standing in Jericho's doorway and next to her was a blond beauty with a baby in her arms.
"Lita?" Shawn whispered holding his head dragging his body towards her as Hunter wrestled the sledgehammer out of Lita's father's hands, securing it he wielded it above his head and clocked Lita out of the corner of his eye.
"May I?" he asked her awaiting her response before knocking her father's head off in revenge of his best friend.
Lita grabbed Shawn's outstretched hands and pulled him up to her seeing the blood pouring from his head really wanting Melina right now before Hunter did something stupid like get thrown in jail for murder.
"Come on mama where are you?" she said to herself but Melina was an hour away there was no-one to heal Shawn and the gash was gaping and the blood was pouring. She stroked Shawn's face furiously her tears hot with rage as he alighted the air with his blue grey eyes which despite the horrendous attack were smiling at her.
"I guess we're not gonna make it to Tijuana," Lita said as Shawn's eyes fluttered between consciousness, "I knew this was too good to be true, you're too good for this world Shawn and you're too good for me, you belong in Heaven with Rebecca, tell Jeff I said thanks for trying," Lita said and Shawn lost consciousness in her arms.
"Kiss him!" Trish cried and Lita looked at her in shock as did Hunter and Chyna. "I'm serious it's the only thing that can save his life!"
Lita didn't hesitate kissing Shawn was one of her favorite past times, as she closed in on the Heartbreak Kid's parted lips she felt a violent knock against her ribs, it was her father, he had just hit her in the ribs with the sledgehammer he knocked Shawn's lights out with and now she was bleeding internally.
"LITA!" Trish screamed and Lita's father knocked her to one side slamming her into Chyna and Aurora Rose went flying across the room landing safely in the arms of her mother who thanked God she didn't drop her again.
"Get that sledgehammer away from him!" Stephanie roared but as Hunter went to get it, Lita's father nearly knocked his head off and Stephanie pulled her ex-husband back.
"I want my money!" Lita's father roared approaching Stephanie who looked over to where Aurora's rattle had fallen, if she could only get her baby girl to wake up they could end this nightmare but Ro-Ro needed her beauty sleep and there was no waking her up now.
"Ro-Ro, please wake up," Stephanie said gently but it was no use.
"Take off her hat!" Hunter said and Stephanie pulled off the yellow rain hat and just like that Aurora woke up and tore down the house with her crying. It started to rain, soaking Jericho's expensive furniture and the new speakers he just bought.
"Chyna get Lita off the floor!" Hunter said to his girlfriend as he ran to get Shawn and put him on the sofa and Mr. Dumas looked around disorientated by the fact that it was raining on the inside of the apartment.
"Everybody off the floor!" Trish cried jumping on the sofa and Jericho, Hunter, Chyna and The McMahons followed suit, as the water hit Jericho's new speaker the electric current ran through the wires and electrocuted Lita's father burning him inside and out.
"ARGHHH!" Stephanie and Trish screamed, Chyna and Hunter just smiled, as far as they were concerned the miserable bastard got just what he deserved for what he did to his own daughter and the man they all loved so much. The McMahons felt like they were going to throw up as they looked across at Shawn and Lita who lay dead in a puddle of their own blood strewn across each other like a tragic Shakespeare play.
One hour later . . .
Melina the Miraculous arrived with LAX, CM Punk and Samoa Joe who freaked out when they saw the rain, mostly because it wasn't raining when they left San Diego or on the ride downtown, but Chris Jericho's apartment was soaking wet and there was a dead man on the floor and it wasn't the Undertaker.
"Oh my God," Melina said as she saw Shawn and Lita in a huddle bleeding all over Jericho's couch, "What happened?" she asked The Truth who was stroking Lita's face while Hunter cried over Shawn along with Chyna. Stephanie was comforting Aurora who was still crying and hadn't stopped, she may have been small but she wasn't stupid, she knew something terrible had happened to someone very close to her.
"Lita's father tried to kill Shawn and Lita over that $1 million dollars that Edge said Vince would give him if he walked Lita down the isle at their wedding," Trish explained, "Aurora took him out, she didn't appreciate Stephanie taking LC's rain hat off her head at all,"
"She's been wearing it for a week," Stephanie said in her own defense.
"Shut up Stephanie," Hunter snapped tears burning down his face and falling onto Shawn's head, "My best friend is dead and all you can think about is what a lousy father I am,"
"Hunter please not now," Trish said and motioned for Melina to come forward and reached for the dress and shoes she bought for Lita, "I can always count on you to put fashion first," she said smiling warmly at Melina and the Miraculous one frowned in confusion as Trish unwrapped the dress and laid out the shoes, "Nice selection that's exactly what Shawn had in mind," she said approving of Melina's taste in clothes as always, everything except her taste in men which as far as she was concerned needed much improvement, but there'd be time to talk to her about that later, right now there was another dear friend of hers that needed help, "So what are you waiting for Mel, heal them?" Trish said and Melina looked away and everyone frowned.
"Melina what's wrong?" Stephanie said.
"Come on this is your thing bring Shawn and Lita back to life!" Chris Jericho said.
"I can't, they already are," Melina said and everyone thought she was nervous and started to encourage her that she'd do just fine, it wouldn't be like before when she lost all her healing powers to that demon, "No you guys don't understand, they're not dead, they're alive," she said again and Trish scratched her head and looked up to the sky.
"Okay, either my Truth-telling abilities are shot or there's something You're not telling me," she said getting annoyed that God kept leaving important information out more and more these days and Melina tried to explain, judging from the hellacious looks on everyone's faces it wasn't going to be easy.
"Jeff Hardy gave Undertaker a sketch he drew of Shawn and Lita, he took a liking to it and had a tattoo artist ink it over his back this morning as a wedding gift for the Anointed Couple. What Undertaker didn't tell the other Superstars was that it was a Divine Tat, a magic tat like Shawn and Lita have on their arms. While in Heaven, Jeff Hardy asked God if he could create his own magic tat and use it as a way to get Shawn and Lita out of trouble if they were ever in danger and God said yes. He really likes Jeff, He doesn't even want Him to come back to Earth on Saturday,"
Trish, Hunter and Chyna just stared at Melina like she was crazy, "So you're saying Shawn and Lita are stuck in a tattoo on Undertaker's back until Saturday?" Trish asked and Melina nodded.
"Yeah so we better get going, they're gonna be naked when they come back to Earth and you know what that means!" Melina said raising her eyebrow suggestively and Trish ran out to Konnan's low rider knowing exactly what it meant, "Wait Trish I have a question about Randy Orton!" Melina cried picking up the dress and shoes and running out after her along with Hunter, Chyna, Jericho and The McMahons.
LAX came over to the two dead bodies and took out the specially made Smith and Wesson pistols and placed them on either side of Shawn and Lita's dead bodies.
"See I told you guys, just like Romeo and Juliet," Homicide said and his comrades nodded, Konnan removed his bandana and said a prayer.
"You were two of the coolest gringos the wrestling world has ever seen, rest in peace Shawn and Lita," he said and a speaker blew setting Jericho's flashy apartment on fire but LAX, Joe and Punk got out of there just in time. Everybody watched as the flames scorched the Los Angeles sky leaving nothing but the burned out apartment where three bodies were incinerated; one was Hell-bound, the other two were alive and well much to the amusement of Cameron, Cheyenne, LC and Carla who were staring at the talking tattoo on Undertaker's back in Tattoo Me back in Fashion Valley Home Mall. All the wrestlers crowded around The Deadman as the huge tattoo of Shawn and Lita embracing each other started to move.
"Dad?" Cameron said recognizing the eyes and the ponytail, "Get outta there we've got stuff to do!" he cried.
Tattoo Shawn looked over at the topless redhead Jeff Hardy had cheekily drawn and smirked like Randy Orton as Tattoo Lita covered her bountiful breasts up with her long red locks bashfully, Tattoo Shawn looked back at his children, "Give your old man a break, I've had a rough week," Shawn replied and everybody except the children ran out the parlor screaming including the artist who drew it in the first place.
"Now finally we get some time to ourselves," Tattoo Lita said to Tattoo Shawn and LC shook her head in disgust.
"Excuse me Miss Live Sex Celebration, could you keep it PG-13 for Candy Ass Cameron's sake?" she said and Lita and Shawn pouted in frustration.
"Screw this lets go to Heaven," Shawn said wrapping his arm around Lita and the Anointed Couple ascended into the Heavenlies leaving a two dimensional tattoo of two WWE Superstars caressing each other lovingly on Undertaker's back just like normal.
"You can come back in now, they've gone to Heaven!" LC called to the frightened wrestlers cowering outside Tattoo Me, she was thoroughly unimpressed by their cowardice, "Adults are scared of anything that doesn't have a Disney logo on it," she said and Undertaker smiled, Hunter's daughter was a riot he liked her a lot.
"Did Uncle Jeff say how long it would take them to resurrect Uncle Taker?" Cheyenne asked The Deadman.
"He says enjoying their company in Heaven," Undertaker said getting a message from the angelic enigma who was welcoming the newly ascended Anointed Amy and St. Michaels into the Heavenlies where he was chilling with Mother Hardy, Eddy Guerrero, Owen Hart and Rebecca Michaels, "He says they might not come back down to Earth until Saturday,"
"Saturday!" the children cried, "but that's tomorrow!"
"Well then you're gonna have to see your father and Lita tomorrow," The Deadman said and Cameron pouted.
"It's not fair, my parents get to hang out with Jeff Hardy, Eddy Guerrero, Owen Hart and Jesus and I have to stay down here with you people," he said grumpily and LC stamped on his foot and he hopped around the tattoo parlor in agony.
"I think we can find someway to occupy our time until Shawn and Lita come back home," LC said with a mischievous grin and Carla and Cheyenne saw the disproving look Shawn was giving them through the Taker's tattoo and nodded that they'd protect his only son from the crazy cerebral spawn of Hunter Hurst Helmsley while he tied up some loose ends with the King of Kings before coming home to tie up some loose ends with his life as Hunter, Vince, his family and the rest of the wrestling world knew it.