Chapter 28: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
In Heaven Lita and Shawn walked up to the Right Hand of the Throne hand in hand in absolute awe; the King of Kings was sitting with Rebecca, Eddy, Owen and Jeff Hardy who was eating Skittles. Lita's mouth watered instantly and she knew she was alive, Shawn and Lita bowed in reverance to Jesus Christ and He told them to get up and Jeff offered them one of his Skittles.
"They're fruity, they're delicious and they're mine so don't take so many, hey!" Jeff snatched the bag back after Lita demolished them with a mischievous grin while Shawn stared at Jesus in complete adoration.
"Hello St. Michaels," Jesus said and Shawn burst out into tears clutching the hem of the King of Kings' garment, Jesus patted him on the head and Rebecca rolled her eyes.
"You're such a drama queen Shawn, look you're getting Jesus wet," Rebecca complained and Eddy pushed some Skittles into her mouth and told her to taste the rainbow, but she had and she was sick of them, "I've eaten three bag full of these things I'm gonna get a toothache,"
Shawn ignored her but it was nice to hear her voice again, she was as fiery in Heaven as she was on Earth confirming was he always believed that she was an angel.
"Alright Shawn let me have some of His garment now," Lita said pulling HBK up and Jesus smiled at her and Lita's heart was filled with a love like she'd never felt before and fell to Jesus' feet and began to weep alongside her true love. Jesus sighed and looked over at Jeff who nodded sympathetically.
"It's not like you're just some guy Lord, you're Jesus Christ you deserve all the glory and all the praise," Jeff said crunching into a red Skittle.
"Yes but I'm not gonna get to say what I have to say if they don't get off me!" Jesus said and Shawn and Lita looked at each other sniffing loudly.
"Get it together Lita," Shawn said to the Anointed one who balked.
"You're the one whose clinging to the hem of His garment!" she retaliated and Jesus got off His throne and commanded them both to rise which they did willingly and without hesitation.
"How may we serve you oh King of Kings, Lord of Lords?" Lita said and Shawn snickered, "What?" Lita asked him with a frown.
"Nothing its just that I've never heard you suck up before its disturbing," Shawn said and Lita slapped him on the arm and Jesus laughed filling the Heavenlies with a sound so sweet it made everyone feel like dancing, Rebecca was glad to see HBK hadn't lost his sense of rhythm after she died, she danced with Eddy and Owen all the time but she couldn't keep up with Jeff, he was dangerous and liked to spin and do backflips and stuff, she was more of a slow dancer.
"I hope you can keep up with Shawn Lita, he's one of the best dancers in the world," Rebecca said to Lita as she danced with Eddy Guerrero who wasn't a bad dancer himself. Lita nodded she knew what a great dancer HBK was and how an awful dancer like her was gonna keep up with him. Jesus watched her worry and smiled gently.
"Why you worry so my Anointed one?" Jesus asked her and Lita looked down at her feet which were bare.
"I don't think I can dance very well and Shawn's an awesome dancer if I dance with him I'm gonna make a fool of myself," Lita said thinking about the wedding reception tomorrow and all the eyes that were gonna be on her as she danced with one of the most desired men in the WWE.
Jesus nodded, "I understand that you are on strict orders not to touch each other so I'll be Shawn and you dance with me," he said and everyone stopped dancing and stared at the King of Kings in shock especially Lita who felt her heart began to race with excitement.
"You dance Jesus?" she asked Him in disbelief, which really wasn't allowed in Heaven because you only got in by faith and right now, Lita had zero faith in her dance moves of which she had none.
"I was human once, I know how it feels to lose confidence in yourself, but I also know how to overcome fear since I overcame death, take my hand Amy and follow my lead you'll be fine," Jesus assured her and Shawn leaned his head on Jeff and both watched in amazement as Lita danced with the King of Kings nervously trying to impress Him but He assured her there was no need to worry, "That's it," He said encouraging her to dance as she felt, to dance like she was in love, to dance like she was happy and to dance like she never wanted this moment to end and she didn't want this moment to end, so eventually she found the rhythm and kept in step with Jesus Christ who never missed a beat. When the dance was over Lita got a resounding applause from Eddy and Owen and Jeff while Shawn walked over to his wife and kissed her on the hand.
"I miss you," he said and Rebecca smirked shaking her head with a gentle laugh.
"No you don't, that's how I know you're not dead because there's no lying in Heaven," Rebecca said and Shawn rubbed the back of his head bashfully.
"You know me too well," he replied and looked back at Lita who was celebrating her renewed sense of self worth after dancing with the King of Kings, "I'm in love with her Rebecca," he said and turned back to his wife to see how she felt about that, "You knew all along didn't you?" he asked her and Rebecca nodded, "Was it the reason you invited her over to the house before the pre-Christmas party in the Caribbean last year?" he asked and Rebecca nodded, "Well I didn't think we'd ever end up together and now we're getting married, the Lord really does work in mysterious ways doesn't He?"
"His ways are not our ways, that's why I'm up here and you're going back to start your life over with that gorgeous red-head," Rebecca said and Shawn wanted to know more, "You see Shawnie we only get to live once, my job as your wife was to bring you back from death and I did, I gave you two children and gave you your self-esteem back, you see the way Lita danced with our Savior? You see the confidence she has now? That's what God wanted me to do for you, so He could use you for His work on Earth to further His Kingdom," she said and Shawn nodded he knew there was a calling on his life he just didn't think it had anything to do with the Queen of Extreme.
"Why Lita though Becky? I mean she was getting married to Edge I'm not exactly her type you know I was never really all that into the bedroom stuff," Shawn confessed and Rebecca laughed thinking about all the time he spent bragging to the Kliq about what a stud he was and he really wasn't; she did all the work and he just lay there and let her have her way with him and that was okay while he was rehabbing but after his comeback it was a problem for the sultry Nitro girl from Tampa who wanted to sleep with the Heartbreak Kid made famous for his sexy attitude, not the recovering drug addict with a predeliction for holding hands and falling asleep with his nose in the Book of Jeremiah.
"That's why you and Lita are together on Earth not just in Heaven, God saw the desires of your heart, he knew that you desired someone who was just as fiery and just as misunderstood as you and I prepared you for her," Rebecca said smiling and it was then that Shawn knew she was alright with him and Lita getting married, Rebecca was going to give them her blessing and that's all he needed to put his fears to rest, "All I've ever wanted is for you to be happy Shawn and now finally, you can be," she said, "I'm gonna be fine so don't worry about me turning up at your Honeymoon suite and making the bed move and suck you through the TV like a poltergeist or something, it's all good Shawn go get married kid and have more beautiful children,"
Shawn couldn't believe it, Rebecca was totally cool in Heaven as she was on Earth, he reached out to touch her but he couldn't.
"No Shawn you can't touch me I'm dead," she said as Shawn's hands felt nothing, "the dead can't touch the living and there's a red-head dying for you to touch her and in less than a day, you can touch her in places you never ever thought you could Sexy Boy, ow!" Rebecca said and Shawn looked at her puzzled and she apologized, "I'm sorry I was just thinking about the first time I had sex with you, you had a few good moves but that didn't make up for those extra couple of inches I needed, know what I mean shorty?"
"Okay good talking to you, enjoy life after death Becky, I'm going to enjoy life with Lita, who makes up for what I lacked," Shawn said and walked over to his future wife and away from his last one who was more than happy to see him go, Eddy scratched his chin curiously.
"What's with you?" Rebecca asked Latino Heat.
"Vicky never stopped loving me and I was just thinking how grateful I was for that," Eddy said.
Rebecca sat next to him on the Right Hand of the Throne and smiled, "That's the difference between us Guerrero, Vicky loved you in the good, the bad and the ugly, Shawn never loved me with all his heart, he just told himself that he did because he was loyal and faithful to me and the children, I was an obligation, she's his inspiration," Rebecca nodded to Lita who was saying goodbye Jeff and Shawn wrapped her up in his loving arms like she was somethng he couldn't afford to lose, "See that Eddy?" Rebecca said and Eddy nodded, "That's the piece of him that was missing and the Lord needed me to see that and I do now, finally I can let go of all the jealousy and anger and just say love is for the living not the dead,"
"Amen," Eddy said knowing how much his familia loved him because he heard every single one of their prayers everyday and everynight and he was alive because of them in Earth as he was in Heaven and he praised God for that.
"Trish said you were supposed to give me something Jeff, what is it?" Lita asked the angelic enigma who shook his head his hand slamming against the bag of Skittles to demolish the few that were left.
"You have to wait until tomorrow when I come back to life," Jeff said and Lita pouted.
"Just give it to me now!" she said and Jeff shook his head furiously.
"You have no patience, that's why you're still alive because only angels have patience," Jeff said and Jesus smiled.
"But you're not dead Jeffrey, angels don't have cavaties," Jesus said and everyone laughed, "Hand those Skittles to the Anointed Couple, when you two get back to Earth, give the Skittles to Matt as a sign that his brother is just fine, hand them over Jeffrey,"
Jeff Hardy looked at the half empty packet in his hand and frowned, "Here you go," he said with a pout and Shawn and Lita waved goodbye to everyone, as they descended back to Earth, Jesus rained Skittles down in the Heavenlies which Jeff joyously collected and separated them into each individual color before devouring them all.
"You the man JC," Jeff Hardy said his clapping his candy-stained lips together merrily.
"No I'm the Son of Man, HBK's the man," Jesus said.
JESUS ARE THOSE SKITTLES ON THE THRONE ROOM FLOOR? God roared and Jesus jumped off His Throne and started to bury the evidence and Rebecca, Eddy and Owen gave him a questioning glance.
"He may be omnipotent but He ain't that fast, now help me hide these before He makes me appear in a toilet bowl again," Jesus said and together Jesus and Jeff Hardy tried to hide the brightly colored candies much to the Almighty's amusement not really expecting more from His only Begotten Son, He was only 33 when he died and Jeff Hardy was the Hardy Boy inside him. So for one more day God would let the inner Hardy Boy come out and then after Jeff Hardy returned to the Earth it was business as usual in Heaven and that meant Jesus would return to saving souls from damnation and bringing them to the Kingdom forevermore all by Himself, the days of ATM sharing the load were almost at an end.