The Last Adventure of ATM: Heaven on Earth

Chapter 36: The Big Payback

San Diego PD, around 7:30am:

Vince, Shane and Linda McMahon were awoken suddenly by the guard who was watching their cell.

"Wake up you crazy McMahons, you have a very special visitor," he said and wrestling's first family wiped the sleep out of their eyes and saw President George W. Bush standing in front of their cell accompanied by several national security officials.

"Mr. President!" Vince blurted out.

"Will you let them outta there please?" the President said to the guard which he did and the McMahons quickly left the dank cell grateful for their freedom.

"Thank you Mr. President!" Vince said kissing George Dubya's hand much to the President's disgust and he pulled his hand away from Vince's pursed lips.

"Did you really call in a fake terrorist alert Vincent, after everything this country's been through? Not to mention your wonderful divas Lita, Trish and Melina's angelic triumph over our enemies in Iraq? What on Earth has gotten into you boy?"

"It wasn't supposed to go this far sir," Shane McMahon explained but the President didn't look too happy with his excuses.

"Come on my car's waiting outside and I've got a wedding to go to after I'm done with you three crazies," he said and Vince, Shane and Linda exchanged glances as they left the precinct and got into the President's motorcade.

"Are you gonna ask him or should I?" Vince asked his wife and Linda volunteered.

"This wedding wouldn't happen to be Shawn Michaels and Amy Dumas would it sir?" she asked.

"Yes it would and I have something very special to give both of them," The President replied and The McMahons' curiosity peaked.

"What did you get for them Mr. President?" Shane asked the Commander In Chief.

"Well, every so often I give someone who has done a great service to our fair nation whatever they want, it could be a new car, a new house or even $1 million dollars, today I'm going to grant Shawn and Lita that privilege,"

"Whoa that is very generous of you sir," Shane said and his parents agreed, "Why did you bail us out of jail after what we did?"

"Think of it as a favor for all ATM have done for the war on terrorism and Shawn Michaels suggesting I open my own Kiss My Ass club and have your father be the first member on national television, all week kids have been asking me if I'm down with the Kliq its been a real trip!" The President responded and Vince screwed up his face enraged as they rode with the leader of the free world to San Diego airport which was still canceling all flights and journeys out of the state due to the phony terrorist alert.

"What are you doing?" Vince said as the President's motorcade stopped and two national security guards abruptly pulled him out as the President addressed the concerned travellers who wanted to get home but couldn't.

"Get up there on that wall Vince and tell all these people what you did," The President said and Vince blanched.

"But they might stop coming to our shows!" Vince panicked and the President shrugged.

"You wanna go back to jail?" he asked coolly and Vince looked back at his family who shook their heads refusing to go back to that dank smelly cell and the Chairman of the Board had no choice but to relent.

"Ladies and Gentleman, I am Mr. Vincent K. McMahon," he started and a hail of boos came down much to the Chairman's chagrin, "DX have done it again, they have banned my family from attending what is bound to be the most controversial wedding in wrestling history!"

"What's that got to do with us not being able to get out of San Diego?" one of the people said.

"I thought that if I called in a fake terrorist alert I could keep DX here and convince Shawn Michaels to let me come to his wedding," Vince explained and the people booed, chants of "asshole" and "traitor" broke out and the smarks in the crowd scratched their heads.

"HBK's getting remarried?" one of them asked confused.

"I'm just as surprised as you are okay? You'd think after almost twenty years of making that man a bona fide WWE Superstar he'd extend me an invitation to watch him and Lita get married," Vince said bitterly and the wrestling fans broke out in amazed applause.

"My God I thought that was just a rumor!" one of the smarks said holding his head in amazement.

"HBK and Lita, oh my!" another one cheered, "Are there any tickets left?"

"Yeah how much to go to the wedding?" another fan asked and the President stepped in.

"No people this isn't a PR job, I just asked Vince to explain his actions so you would know why travel out of San Diego was canceled yesterday, Shawn and Lita's wedding is a very special but private affair for friends and family only, y'all can't come - even Vince isn't invited," The President explained and the crowd of commuters laughed thinking it served The Chairman right and if there was anything The McMahons hated it was being laughed at.

"You people want to see Shawn and Lita get married?" Vince asked the fans and they cheered.

"I'll pay $75!" one fan cried out.

"I'll pay $150!" another fan cried out.

"I'll pay $300!" another one said.

"Put your money away people because I am extending you an official invitation to Shawn and Lita's wedding free of charge," The Chairman of the Board said, "I'm on my way there now in fact, why don't we all go together!"

"YEAH!" the fans chanted and Shane and Linda gave Vince a hi five thinking he was genius while the President looked at him like he was insane.

"You can't fly into Tijuana with all these people!" he exclaimed.

"I'm Vincent Kennedy McMahon Mr. President and I can do anything I want, see you in Tijuana, come on Linda, move it son, we've got a wedding to crash," Vince said to his family as flights out of San Diego reconvened and hundreds of rabid WWE fans and curious spectators flew first class to Tijuana, Mexico courtesy of Vincent Kennedy McMahon while the President decided to call DX and warn them that a storm was coming and this time it had nothing to do with Hurricane Aurora.


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