Chapter 38: Last DXit from Mexico
Tijuana, Mexico less than an hour to the wedding . . .
Vince McMahon and his uber-supportive family rallied the wrestling fans from San Diego together and headed for the Camino Real, the completely destroyed hotel near the church were Shawn and Lita were getting married. The airport and tourist officials tried to explain to the mad McMahons that this resort was out of bounds right now due to the devastation the Whore of Babylon had caused yesterday, they might as well have said nothing because there was no stopping Vince, Shane, Linda or the hordes of fans from being there when Shawn and Lita said 'I Do' or so they thought, as much as Vince thought he could bring it, DX always brought it harder and now Shawn and Hunter were all grown up and they had little Degenerates (or little angels) ready to stand up for them.
LC had rallied her old friends Cassidy, Charlene and Carla as well as her boyfriend Cameron, his sister Cheyenne, Tristen Nash, Sean Preston together. Rey, Vicky and Chavo told Dominic, Aaliyah, Shaul, Sherilyn and Kaylee Marie what to do when they arrived with The Rock, Stephanie and Jericho who panicked when they saw the army of rabid WWE fans awaiting their arrival at Tijuana airport.
"Now I understand why Shawn was so mad, look at all these people!" Stephanie McMahon said as the WWE Superstars met with the fans, signed autographs, etc, "My father's really done it this time,"
"Yeah he's gone way too far," The Rock said as girls clawed at his clothes and pulled him over for pictures and kisses and to say hi to their friends who couldn't be there on their cell phones, you know the usual stuff the WWE Superstars had to go through on a daily basis, only that was triple threat in Mexico right now, "Stephanie you got to tell your Dad to hold them off before Shawn and Lita get mobbed!"
Chris Jericho gawked removing his sunglasses for a better look at the mob of fans and then he saw the most frightening thing of all, "Why don't we all tell him right now, he's right over there," he said pointing to the Chairman of the Board who was dressed like a normal fan in a Chain Gang throwback and sweat band trying to be cool and so were Linda and Shane.
"Oh my God," Stephanie McMahon said hiding her face from her family in shame; it was the most embarrassing thing she had ever seen and the fact that the same blood was coursing through her veins made it worse, but her families incredibly stupid attempt to blend in was not lost on the WWE Superstars or TNA roster who recognized them instantly. Sting took exception to the whole thing and stormed over to the Chairman of WWE Entertainment angrily.
"Are you high on acid Vince?" The Icon asked and Vince frowned at him.
"No, why do you ask?" The wrestling mogul answered casually strutting like a rapper.
"Because you are totally tripping," The Rock said coming over to The McMahons with Chris and Stephanie, "Tell these people they can't come to Shawn and Lita's wedding Vince this is wrong,"
"No it isn't because nothing I do is wrong," The Chairman responded.
"What about the XFL?" Jericho responded.
"Or getting mom to kick J.R in the nuts?" Stephanie added.
"You slapped him!" Vince countered.
"That was because you told me too!" Stephanie retaliated.
"I told you not to have a baby with Hunter too and look what happened? Now you're divorced and estranged from my grand-daughter, instead of having a little Jericho you had a freaking Hurricane, and that's what happens when you disobey your father, now if ya'll would excuse me, my crew and I have a wedding to attend. Come on people the church is right over there, peace out ma brothas!" Vince said to the frenzied wrestling fans that followed him like rats would the Pied Piper of Hamlet.
"What do we do now?" Rocky fretted rubbing the back of his neck feeling the tension there growing at quickening rate.
"Maybe we should sic Aurora on your family, it worked in Florida," Jericho suggested but Stephanie shook her head.
"No I can't ask my baby girl to use her powers to stop my father again its too dangerous plus I promised Shawn I wouldn't let her get mad and ruin the wedding," Stephanie explained.
"But the wedding's gonna get ruined anyway!" Rocky fretted anxiously, if he had long hair it would start falling out right now that's how stressed he was getting.
"There is one way Shawn and Lita's wedding can be saved," Stephanie told Chris and Rocky who waited eagerly for her to tell them how, "I can't believe this but I'm actually sure that bastard daughter of Hunter's could be the one to save the day,"
"Who LC?" Rocky said rubbing his chin thoughtfully, "She's only a kid what's she gonna do against your 60 year-old father who must be suffering from a mean case of dementia right now?"
Stephanie and Jericho exchanged glances and laughed at how easily Rocky underestimated the little warrior princess, "She's no kid, she's a cerebral ass-kicker and if she loves Hunter as much as I think she does she'll take care of this," Stephanie assured The Rock.
"Come on let's get to the church before Rey get's mobbed," Rocky said sprinting ahead of Vince with Stephanie and Jericho flying behind him, the faster they ran the smaller the church looked and the bigger the crowd of fans seemed.
"Rocky what's going on did Vince invite all these fans to the wedding?" Chavo Guerrero asked The Great One as he bolted through the small church doors with Steph and Jericho not far behind him. Rey and Vicky locked the door behind them their hearts racing with anxiety.
"There's no way all those people are getting in here," Vicky said.
"You got that right," Rocky said then something hard slammed against the door.
"What was that?" Jericho wondered nervously.
"Umaga's ass, Vince always has him on hand if he needs to bully someone," Stephanie replied and Rocky groaned angrily.
"That fat ass ain't no better than Rikishi and he eats twice as much, quit banging on the church door you tubby sumbitch, there ain't enough food in Tijuana for you anyway!" The Great One shouted through the door but the Samoan Bulldozer only banged harder and everyone started to panic that was until they saw Melina and Trish and all thoughts of Vince and his evil plan to destroy the wrestling wedding of the decade was shelved as Lita's radiant bridesmaids in Christ ran over to the troubled wrestlers.
"Vicky you did a great job," Stephanie said amazed at their outfits.
"Don't they look beautiful?" Chavo said admiring Vicky's skills on the sewing machine, she had designed a pink taffeta tutu dress with puffy mesh sleeves and ballerina slippers and topped it off with a flower halo while Chavo had bought a bouquet of sunflowers for each of them to hold.
"Get away from the door Rock, LC's got everything under control just like Stephanie told you," Trish said reaching out for her boyfriend's hand but he was stuck to the door, her beauty had frozen him there and he couldn't move and look at her at the same-time, "Okay close your eyes and come toward the sound of my voice," Trish said flattered by his astonishment at how good she looked and Rocky moved away from the door and everyone expected Umaga to come crashing through it with legions of fans at his tail along with the crazy McMahons. That didn't happen and it wasn't going to happen, Operation SUCK IT was in effect.
Outside the church LC, Carla and Cheyenne collapsed to the floor and Cameron, Dominic and Tristen attended to them, the wave of frenzied fans parted around them standing back to see what had happened.
"Okay stand back, everybody just stand back!" Cameron Michaels said efficiently.
"What's going on here?" Konnan said with Hernandez and Homicide and the entire Latino Nation behind him, "What happened on our turf in Rey Mysterio's old neighborhood, I want an answer and I want it now,"
LC grabbed her leg and screamed, "My leg, that man stepped on my leg!" she said pointing to Vince who was still getting jiggy with Linda and Shane further up in the crowd.
Cameron played along and fired up, he stormed over to Vince and jerked him around angrily, "You stepped on my girlfriend, you broke her leg!" he snapped enraged his cheeks on fire and his eyes ablaze but Vince recognized him at once and bore down on him with a menacing glance.
"Go tell someone who cares like your daddy!" Vince retorted and laughed despicably and Cameron shoved him.
"Aren't you even going to apologize?" Konan asked in shock and Vince waved him off.
"One less Mexicana to deport back to this dump," Vince said and the Latino Nation gasped in horror, "Now get out of here and take your cheap little chica with you," he said and shoved Cameron one more time, this time Cameron exaggerated the move and fell down hard and cried out in pain.
"Cam-Cam!" Cheyenne cried out and ran over to her little brother crying hysterically.
"At a girl Chey let those tears fall!" her brother encouraged her.
"Daddy!" she cried.
"Daddy!" LC cried and all the fans gasped as their daddies showed up, better known as HBK and HHH along with Chyna and the Kliq. All received a rousing ovation when they arrived, especially the original members of DeGeneration X who were dressed in like colors except Shawn who instead of the standard green and black, his children had picked out a black silk shirt and pant combination with matching cowboy hat and boot a la Johnny Cash but Hunter had picked the jacket and it was purple. When Shawn asked Hunter why purple Hunter explained that he couldn't wear green like him and Joanie because he was part of a new Kliq now and purple seemed like more of an Xtreme color. With his hair in a French braid and his old silver cross around his neck Shawn looked like the bridegroom of the year, Hunter wore a black tux with green shirt and Chyna wore a sparkly green Las Vegas showgirl outfit much to Shawn and Hunter's amusement and Chyna shrugged when she saw their gaping mouths when she changed into her outfit saying "Once a Playboy Covergirl, always a Playboy Covergirl," Hunter rubbed his hands together ravenously then turned his attention to the matter at hand.
"I am going to enjoy this," Shawn said as Hunter attended to LC, Carla and Cassidy while he collected his pride and joy ignoring the flashing cameras and screaming girls as he strutted towards the front of the church to the suave and conceited Chairman of the Board.
"Vince you have finally gone too far, you messed up big time old man!" HBK said defiantly and Vince grimaced.
"I'm not Vince I'm just a regular fan, can I have your autograph HBK?" Vince said amused by Shawn's angry expression and the whole crowd started chanting "HBK!" at the top of their voices much to his children's amusement and Vince noticed that they were laughing at him, "What are you laughing at huh?" he taunted them, "You think its funny that your father banned me from his own wedding, a wedding that will be televised globally around the world on Monday Night RAW, how you like them apples brotha?" Vince teased Shawn who was getting angrier and angrier by the minute.
"No you're not this is a private affair, stay out of this Vince this is my life and you're not gonna turn this into a farce like you did Lita's wedding to Kane and Edge!" Shawn replied vehemently.
"Oh yes I am, do all ya'll fans wanna see Shawn and Lita get married?" Vince asked the crowd who cried "YEAH!" at the top of their fans and the crazy Chairman turned back to Shawn with a victorious smile, "And here I thought you lived to give the fans what they wanted, now you want to have a private wedding with the most controversial Diva in WWE history, that doesn't sound like the Showstoppa I know, come on Shawn admit it, you want to be rich and famous again and this wedding to Lita will make you more rich and more famous than you've ever been if you'd just let me film it, come on Heartbreak Kid, give an old billionaire a break,"
Shawn turned away from his boss disgusted and turned to the hundreds of WWE fans staring at him and his family and friends at the doorstep of the church, "If you guys love me as much as you say you do you'll leave me and Lita alone, I'm seriously in love with this woman and up until now she's been treated like a piece of meat, Vince and his family are soulless they don't know any better, but you guys have seen me change, you've seen me get born again and you know how much I value the sanctity of marriage," Shawn squeezed his children's hands, "We lost the most beautiful woman in the world this year," she started choking up at the memory of Rebecca who's initial was still tattooed around his finger, "Guys please don't make me lose another one,"
The crowd sank, they were genuinely moved by Shawn's admission and his ability to tell it like it was and they respected that and turned to leave much to Vince's horror, the WWE Superstars couldn't believe it either but Hunter, Joanie and the Kliq weren't surprised, Shawn had always had a special place in the heart of the fans and he always would and they didn't want him unhappy on his wedding day, even if it was the most anticipated wedding in WWE history.
Shawn turned to Hunter who wiped a rebel tear away from his best friend's face, "See I told you, honesty is always the best policy," he said with a big smile and banged on the church door which swung open and Rocky jumped out waving a flaming candelabra over his head.
"Come on you Samoan sack of crap bring it, I dare you to bring it come on Umaga let's go!" The Great One cried thinking it was Umaga that had knocked on the door then he saw all the fans leaving and realized that all was well and the wedding was due to start on schedule.
"Give me that!" Hunter said snatching the candelabra away from Rocky and Rey Mysterio came out and gave DX a hi-five.
"You ready to get married Heartbreak Kid?" Rey asked HBK who nodded taking a deep breath and praying that nothing else disturbed the biggest day of his life after his children's birthdays.
"Time to kiss the bride," Hunter said excitedly puckering his lips and Shawn and Chyna frowned.
"Yeah I'm kissing the bride, put the lip balm back in your pocket," Shawn said to him as Hunter plastered his pursed lips with cherry lip balm which had mysteriously disappeared from Lita's handbag.
"That better be for me," Kevin Nash said reaching over for Hunter who flew behind Chyna for protection from Big Sexy and Hall and Waltman jumped on him and they play brawled on the steps.
"How about these kids huh weren't they great?" Konnan said bringing Dominic and Aaliyah over to Rey while Shaul, Sherilyn and Kaylee Marie followed behind with LAX and the rest of the Latino Nation.
"Thanks for the help Konnan," Shawn said shaking the Leader of LAX's hand firmly.
"Anything for the Kliq baby," Konnan replied nodding at Kevin, Scotty and Sean who through up the Wolfpac sign in respect to the New World Order.
"Shawn aren't you forgetting something?" Rey asked HBK reminding him of what they talked about on the phone.
"Oh that's right," Shawn said pulling a legal document out of his pocket, "DX have an announcement to make, uh-hum, ready Hunter?" Shawn asked his best man who balked.
"You're asking me if I'm ready? Shawn I'm the one who says that just steal my bit and my hairstyle already," Hunter pouted and Shawn furrowed his brow in confusion.
"I was rocking the tight ponytail long before you were Trips," he said and Hunter was about to get into one when Chyna silenced them by knocking their heads together.
"There's a woman waiting for you inside the church Shawnie, get on with it already," Chyna admonished her tag team partners who rubbed their sore heads much to LC's amusement.
"You're so much cooler than dad's first wife mom," she said to her mother fondly and Chyna picked her up and squeezed her lovingly planting a kiss on her head while Shawn and Hunter delivered the last and final blow to The McMahons.
"As a result of consistently and maliciously putting Hunter and myself in harms way and attacking our children on numerous occasions, we both find you Vince McMahon and anyone with the McMahon name incapable of running a wrestling company. After obtaining strong counsel from Dixie Carter, President of TNA, DX declare The McMahon family corrupt criminals and we will speak to the Board about taking over,"
Vince, Shane and Linda blanched and looked at each other confused by what they had just heard so the Kliq repeated it in classic nWo style, "DX ARE TAKING OVER!"
"Or to put it your way Vince, YOU'RE FIRED!" Hunter roared and Shawn stuffed the legal document in the Chairman's gaping mouth, it was a genuine petition for dismissal of said parties Vince, Shane, Linda and Stephanie McMahon and for Shawn Michaels and Hunter Hurst Helmsley to be co-owners of the WWE. Vince pressed the document to his nose for a closer read and Linda and Shane felt like crying knowing that DX had every right to sue them for their wreckless, careless and dangerous behavior over the last six months.
"I think I'm gonna faint," Vince said drips of sweat falling rapidly from his brow onto the legal writ as the WWE Superstars, TNA wrestlers and friends and family members entered the small church as Trish and Melina welcomed them in smiling ecstatic with what had just gone down. Trish slapped Vince on the back and pointed towards the airport.
"I suggest you catch the next flight out of here this wedding is by invitation only and you and your crazy ass family aren't on the list, see you on Monday!" she said and walked into the church leaving The McMahons to themselves and they had better get used to their own company since they just lost the WWE.
"And we didn't even get any wedding cake!" Shane complained and Vince attacked him chasing him all the way down to the airport while Linda cried over the document that was going to put her husband, her son and herself on the unemployment line or worse, make them get normal jobs!
"NO!" Linda cried falling to her knees and Stephanie helped her up and carried her back to the airport trying not to laugh as much as Jericho's impression of her mother going insane was making her sides split.
"I'll see you inside Jericho, save me a seat, on the bride's side," Stephanie told Chris who nodded and entered the small church where everyone waited for the ceremony to begin with baited breath.