The Last Adventure of ATM: Heaven on Earth

Chapter 42: Night of 1000 Dance Moves

Santa Monica Beach, 7pm.

Shawn Michaels took the mic and broke out into song with The Luchagors behind him, his audience of fans, friends and family were in shock that he remembered to come in on cue.

"1-2-3 let's go - ow!" he opened and the opening bars of Lita's "When I Get You Alone" broke out over the beach and everyone went into a frenzy.

All alone in my bed tonight
I find myself dreaming of all the things I might
Do to you, and do for me behind closed doors where nobody else will see

I know when I get you alone
There's gonna be trouble
Just hope that I won't lose control
I'll have you seeing double

Fantasies and dangerous dreams
All have my head spinning in a world of schemes
What to do when it's up to me to
Take you places you have never seen

I know when I get you alone
There's gonna be trouble
Just hope that I won't lose control
I'll have you seeing double

I know when I get you (repeat x4)

All of my life they told me I'm wrong
I thought they were right, but then you came along
I finally believe, and now I can see
I was right all along, and it brought you to me

Shawn pulled Lita up onto the stage and sang to her, "There's no way around it now," and squeezed her hand warmly and Lita felt her heart race and Shawn smiled at her lovingly, "See this is the part when you know you're in trouble," he continued as the beat went on and Lita blushed even harder, "I love you Amy," he said finally and kissed her before jumping in the air and crashing onto the stage before singing the final chorus:

I know when I get you alone
There's gonna be trouble
Just hope that I won't lose control
I'll have you seeing double

I know when I get you (repeat x4)

Shane brought the song home and the show finished to an earthquake of applause especially from Lita who it was dedicated to.

"That was awesome!" she cried throwing herself into HBK's arms and hugging him lovingly never wanting to let him go, "I love you so much!" she said and Shawn kissed her as everyone continued to cheer for him to sing some more.

"HBK! HBK! HBK!" everyone roared.

"That was terrible!" Triple H said humorously.

"Boring!" Kevin Nash yelled.

"Get off the stage!" Scott Hall yelled, Lita and Shawn stood side by side and said, "SUCK IT!" then continued to suck face as The Luchagors tore into "Break It Down!" DX's theme tune and LC grabbed the mic and started singing the song along with Carla, Cassidy and Charlene.

"I still say Alter Bridge should have played Amy, you're a Christian they're Christians did I miss something or are your band skull-bashing metal heads?" Edge complained getting up on the stage and the fans started to boo as soon as he got up there, "SHUT UP!" he said and the fans started to chant "EDGE SUCKS!" really loudly so loud that they drowned out LC's singing and the Lil assassin took exception to that and turned to the Rated R Superstar furiously.

"Stop hogging the spotlight you Rated R reject, get off the stage or I'm gonna have my daddy throw you off," LC warned him.

Edge crossed his arms and smirked cockily, "I would love to see him try," he said and LC gave Hunter the Evolution thumbs down nodding toward Edge and Hunter, Chyna and XPac climbed up on the stage closing in on Edge who started to get nervous.

"Okay calm down, this is a wedding celebration you guys, I'm just goofing around calm down were not at work!" he told DX and Shawn and Lita started to laugh.

"I still say kick his ass," LC said into the microphone and the crowd agreed.

"Let's ask the man and woman of the hour, Shawn Lita, should we kick Edge's ass?" Hunter asked Mr. and Mrs. "Dumbass" Michaels, they said no and the fans booed.

"I didn't say ya'll couldn't throw him off the stage," Shawn added and Hunter and Chyna grabbed Edge and threw him into the large crowd that had gathered to see their favorite wrestlers, Edge surfed over the fans loving every second of it, it was just like being at a rock concert. Triple H looked on noticing how much fun the Rated R Superstar was having and pouted,

"He's not suffering he's having fun, well two can play that game, get it game, I'm The Game and I said "Two can play that game," pretty funny huh?" Hunter asked Chyna who rolled her eyes at her boyfriend, grabbed him by his dress shirt and threw him into the sea of rabid wrestling fans and regular people who caught him and started tossing him around like a large ping-pong ball.

"Man that looks awesome, I want to mosh too!" Carla McCool said and jumped into the crowd after Uncle Hunter shortly she was followed by Charlene, Cassidy, Brandon, Charlotte and Dan.

"Wait for me!" Cameron said jumping in after them and the little man bumped up and down through the sea of people, Cheyenne was about to follow her brother when Shawn picked her up and blew a raspberry on her exposed belly, then he looked over and saw his lovely lady Lita jump in with Trish and Melina.

"Oh no fair you guys, you're out having fun and I'm stuck with the baby, if this is how our marriage is gonna go Lita I want a divorce!" he yelled out to his wife humorously.

"No way Jose you're married 4 life, just like the Kliq," Lita replied and Hall and Nash took Cheyenne from her father and pushed Shawn into the crowd and he surfed all the way over to his Big Red sweetheart, "Hey don't I know you from somewhere?" Lita asked him when he bumped over to her and Shawn took her hand and locked his fingers with hers.

"Yeah I'm that guy you just married," Shawn replied and Lita smiled, together they stopped moshing and kissed in the sea of green and black t shirts, red hair falling over blond, hands caressing hips and lips meeting each other while everyone moshed around them. Shawn and Lita kissed uninterrupted while The Luchagors roared through the last bars of "Break It Down" before bringing the song to its unfortunate end, there was no end in sight for the kiss Shawn and Lita were enjoying though, that was until Jeff and Matt bumped into them separating them from each other like Siamese Twins.

"Enjoy it while it lasts, knowing my ex-girlfriend it probably won't," V.1 said before moshing on after his brother who was handing out Skittles to everyone and Lita stuck her tongue out at him, Shawn took that opportunity to kiss her again, sucking her protruding tongue until she wrapped her arms around him again deepening the kiss and ignoring all the eyes on them and that was a lot, Lita's body was electrified by the kiss and her hands told Shawn it was time to go, HBK flinched as she felt on his booty.

"I get the feeling you've had enough kissing for one night, whad'ya say we get outta here and go make ourselves a baby, or two?" Shawn said in her ear licking the hot lobe in one long stroke then biting it playfully and Lita swooned biting her lip to stop something stupid from falling out of her mouth.

"I'm ready let's go," Lita replied with a wink and Shawn made a valley through the shadow of DX merchandize and Hardy Boyz glow shirts that lit up the Santa Monica pier towards the Hummer H2 waiting on the pier, Randy Orton had given Shawn the keys to his favorite ride since he knew the newlyweds were gonna be leaving pretty soon and there was a first class flight to Jamaica with their names on it.

"Say goodbye to Shawn and Lita everyone!" Randy Orton said on the stage and everybody ran after the departing vehicle which was draped in black and green, multi-colored streamers, "Now for the real entertainment to begin, ladies and gentleman - but especially Jeff Hardy - its time for the Diva Dance Off!" Randy said excitedly and the fans clapped as all the Divas came onto the stage, "Which ever one gets the biggest pop will be Jeff Hardy's first girlfriend, ever!" Randy said and Jeff Hardy scowled at him.

"Hey man you don't have to make me sound so lame," the Charismatic Enigma complained getting up on the stage with his brother, "I'm gonna kick your ass TKO,"

"Not until you've gotten some action Hardy Boy, first up we have Krystal Marshall?" Randy Orton frowned as she sauntered onto the stage, "I thought you were with my boy Shelton?"

"I am I just wanted to strut my stuff a little," Krystal said doing a little dance much to the pleasure of the guys in the audience and much to the chagrin of Shelton Benjamin.

"Okay that's enough," Shelton said getting onto the stage to a roar of boos, mostly from the Smackdown roster.

"I'm sorry but this is my girlfriend and she's spoken for, next!" Shelton yelled and Torrie Wilson came out much to Randy's disappointment and Jeff Hardy's horror.

"Torrie aren't you a little old to be competing in the Diva Dance Off?" Jeff Hardy said and the crowd said "ooooh" embarrassed for the Playboy Cover Girl.

"I don't have a choice, I'm a Diva and soon I'll be competing for the Women's title at Wrestlemania, this will be my last chance to act like a total bimbo before I dominate the Women's division now that Trish, Melina and Lita are retired and having babies and getting married and . . . ." Torrie broke off depressed, "I'm so tired of this!" she cried out.

"Tired of what?" Jeff asked confused.

"Tired of being lonely," Torrie said and smiled at Randy Orton who smiled right back.

"You don't have to be lonely if you don't want to be Torrie, you know how I feel, just say you feel the same way and I'll be your man, don't be lonely if you don't have to be," Randy said and the fans cheered while Jeff Hardy scratched his head.

"But Randy's younger than me, what could you possibly see in him?" Jeff asked confused and Matt Hardy whispered something in his little brother's ear, "Oh," Jeff said laughing.

"What did you say to him?" Torrie asked Matt who zipped his mouth and played innocent.

"Lita's not the only one who's gonna get lucky tonight," Randy Orton told Jeff only he said it into the mic and everyone heard him much to Torrie's embarrassment.

"Next!" Matt Hardy said while Randy tried to duck from Torrie's angry slaps, out came Gillian Hall and Jeff gave a deep sigh.

"You're not gonna sing now are you?" Jeff said feeling blue all of a sudden.

"I sure am!" Gillian said taking the mic from Matt who tried to get it back quickly, "In fact I've written my very own song for Shawn and Lita, do you all wanna hear it?" she asked the crowd who gave her a resounding "NO!" but that really didn't help since she was already clearing her throat, "Me-me-me-me-me!" she started and Jeff Hardy sank into a ball and crawled away from her, "I think I'm ready okay?"

"No Gillian please don't sing!" Randy Orton said but it was too late.

"Shawn and Lita fell in love/they fit just like a rubber glove/they are there in the smooth and in the rough/those two just can't get enough, oh!" she screeched and everyone booed her hard including Jeff Hardy who signaled for Randy Orton to introduce the next Diva.

"Here comes Extreme Expose!" Randy said as Layla, Brooke and Kelly Kelly came out and he quickly escorted Gillian Hall off the stage where Britney Spears was gaping at her in horror,

"Oh my God Britney, I'm like your biggest fan that song was inspired by your first album!" Gillian told the pop princess who looked at King Bookah who was laughing at Gillian with Queen Sharmell.

"Tell me she did not just say that?" Britney asked Bookah who tried to stop laughing and put on his royal voice.

"Let's watch some real talent Ms. Spears, shall we?" Bookah replied and Sharmell nodded as Extreme Expose took to the stage ready to show off their moves,

"Finally some Divas who can dance!" she said grateful that Gillian was no longer in the contest.

"Hey!" Krystal objected and Shelton tried to stop her from getting back on the stage.

"You think you can dance better than us?" Layla asked her and Krystal nodded.

"Well show us what you got!" Brooke said as Krystal tried to get up on the stage but Shelton wouldn't let her.

"Let it go baby, the winner gets to be Jeff Hardy's girlfriend could you imagine how awful that would be?" Shelton reasoned and Krystal calmed down.

"Yeah you're right, maybe we can have a private dance later on," she said to Shelton drawing a finger up his chest and the RAW locker room cheered Shelton on as he kissed Krystal right there in front of the wrestling world.

"Shelton! Shelton! Shelton! Shelton!" the RAW guys cheered and Matt Hardy took exception to that and started a Hardy chant that took over the Shelton chant and completely drowned it out.

"Hardy! Hardy! Hardy! Hardy!" the fans chanted and Shelton got hot.

"Chant my name not his name, I'm a much better athlete than Jeff Hardy, what moves he got that I ain't got?" Shelton Benjamin asked jealously.

"I bet you can't walk on water," Matt Hardy answered and Shelton fell silent, he couldn't and that pissed him off even more.

"Fine you may be able to walk on water, but I'm a much better athlete than you, I challenge you to a match on Monday Night RAW, what do you say Charismatic Enigma?" Shelton asked and Jeff Hardy accepted his challenge.

"NO CHANCE IN HELL!" roared the most unwelcome voice of Vincent Kennedy McMahon who was hovering above the stage in a helicopter with a megaphone at his mouth, "All of you get out of here, I want you in Stamford CT, 0800 tomorrow morning!"

The WWE Superstars complained amongst each other, "But we want to see the Diva Dance Off!" MVP complained.

"Yeah we wanna know who Jeff Hardy's first girlfriend is gonna be?" Mr. Kennedy added and Jeff Hardy scowled.

"Can everybody stop saying that?" he said irritated.

"I want everybody on the next flight outta this God forsaken state and in Connecticut by breakfast, do I make myself clear?" Vince roared.

"Sorry Vince I couldn't really hear you, could you speak a little louder?" Hunter said but Vince couldn't hear him.

"What?" he called out and the fans thought he was doing a Stone Cold impression and repeated "WHAT?" much to Vince's chagrin, "SHUT UP!" he snapped and the fans all laughed but Vince was in no laughing mood, "Get closer to the crowd," he told Shane who was flying the helicopter.

"Dad I don't think that's a good idea were pretty low as it is," Shane said.

"Don't argue with me boy just do as I say!" Vince snapped again and Shane drew closer to Santa Monica Beach forcing the huge crowd to scatter.

"Are you ready?" Hunter said to Aurora who shook her rattle and instantly the blades of the helicopter froze and The McMahons came crashing down to the ground and everyone started laughing. Hunter leaned over the frozen Chairman who was stuck to the passenger seat while Shane and Linda were frozen next to him.

"In case you forgot Vince, DX runs things now," Hunter said to the former owner of the WWE, "And since this is a WWE helicopter I think I'm entitled to it,"

"Ur-hum," Chyna said clearing her throat and Hunter corrected himself.

"I mean we're entitled to it," Hunter said indicating Chyna, LC and Ro-Ro who was blowing bubbles which turned into hail stones, "And if you're not down with that, Santa Monica's got two words for ya!"

SUCK IT!" everyone roared.

"On with the show!" Hunter demanded and the fans starting cheering and chanting "DX!" at the top of their lungs and the Diva Dance Off continued long into the night and into the early hours of the morning. By 2am Jeff had chosen a winner but a riot ensued over the result and the Diva Dance Off turned into a Diva Battle Royale.

"How could you choose Ashley she released the Whore of Babylon!" Victoria demanded.

"Yeah she nearly killed us!" Mickie James added.

"She can't even dance!" Layla added but Jeff couldn't say anything to calm the Divas down and they continued to attack each other.

"Jeff make them stop!" Ashley said cowering behind the Charismatic Enigma.

"And get my only decent shirt ripped I don't think so!" Jeff replied then he had an idea, "I've got an idea!" he said and told the fans to start clapping and they did, "Play the Hardy Boyz theme song guys," he told The Luchagors who picked up their instruments and started playing the intoxicating theme tune. Jeff took center stage and started dancing and all the girls went nuts, including the Divas who joined in and pretty soon they forgot about killing Ashley who stood by Matt watching as her new boyfriend danced his heart out for the fans, for the Divas and for her.

"Thank you Shawn," she said to herself smiling into the bouquet that Shawn had blessed before throwing it to her, "This wouldn't have happened if you didn't forgive me for releasing the Whore of Babylon, Lita's a very lucky lady,"

That was a fact and Lita was getting extremely lucky right now. . .


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