Chapter 45: The Brotherhood 4 Life
Trish and Carlito's House, Boca Vista, FL, 12pm
As the WWE and TNA wrestlers headed to California for RAW and Orlando for Impact, Trish, Carlio, The Rock, Edge, Christian and Mickie James piled into the familiar surroundings of Trish and Carlito's house, the former Women's Champion couldn't go inside though and instead Trish stayed on the lawn while everyone looked at her curiously.
"What's the matter don't you wanna get your stuff?" Mickie James asked her idol but Trish just chewed her hair nervously.
"Well if you didn't wanna come inside why did we have to come here instead of going to Sacremento with the others?" Carlito asked confused. Trish titled her head to the side sadly waiting for a glimmer of recollection from her ex-boyfriend Carlito's chocolate brown eyes, but none came, "Trish why are you looking at me like that?" Carlito asked her finally.
"You go inside and you'll find out," Trish said and walked away leaving Carlito with Mickie James who knew why her favorite wrestler was so upset.
"Where are they going?" Carlito said as The Rock and Trish got in the People's rent-a-car and headed for the airport.
Christian looked at Edge who looked down knowing what his best friend in the whole world was thinking.
"Back to Cali most likely," Edge said.
"Well why did we come all the way down here?" Carlito asked infuriated his caramel cheeks flushing apple red.
"This is typical Trish, can't deal with her past so she runs into another pair of arms," Christian said.
"Christian I ain't got any idea what you're talking about," Carlito said and Captain Charisma sighed and escorted the cool one into the house with the key Trish had given him when they were going out.
Inside Carlito saw his stuff; his sweater, a pair of his shoes and most surprising of all a picture of him kissing Trish in Dunns River Falls. He picked up the picture for a closer look and turned to Christian, Edge and Mickie for answers.
"What the Hell is this?" he demanded more confused than angry.
"It's a picture of you and Trish in Jamaica at the pre-Christmas party the WWE had last year," Mickie James answered.
"You don't remember do you?" Edge added and Carlito shook his head.
"I know we flirted for awhile before she retired, but this picture looks like we were in love and I'm sure Carlito would remember being in love with Trish Stratus," Carlito replied and Edge snorted sarcastically.
"Under normal circumstances maybe, but your experiences with Trish, Melina and Lita were anything but normal," he said and Christian and Mickie agreed.
"Carlito trust me, its all in the past and its better left alone, sure you had Trish but now she's with a better wrestler who's richer and better looking then you, its how she operates; she went from Rocky to Jericho to me - the Instant Classic who had enough sense to see right through her, so she went to you, I mean talk about a step down - and then finally she went home to the Jabroni-beating, pie-eating, loves to suck and loves to blow and took Trish Stratus right from your nose Carlito - that's the People's Champ The Rock!" Christian explained and he patted an offended Carlito on the shoulder, "You're better off without her, trust me okay?" he said and Carlito looked down at the fruit basket on the coffee table that had a note that said "For Spitting in Uncool People's Faces" on it, so he picked up one and took a big bite before spitting it in Captain Charisma's face much to the amusement of Edge, his mom and Mickie James.
"Feel better?" Edge asked Carlito who smiled, "Good now let's plan the DX party we're throwing at the former McMahon-Helmsley complex tonight,"
Christian frowned wiping the pieces of apple off his face, "The party's tonight?" he asked and Edge, Carlito and Mickie James nodded, "Why can't you guys wait until tomorrow?"
"Don't worry it'll still be going on waaaay into Tuesday, the Kliq are notorious for throwing the craziest parties Jay," Edge explained and Captain Charisma liked the sound of that.
"And TNA are invited?" he asked adamantly.
"Uh-huh," Edge replied and Carlito frowned.
"I don't remember agreeing to that?" he asked confused.
"What do you remember after Shawn kissed you?" Mickie James said and Carlito's hair stood on end, more so than usual.
"Shawn Michaels did what?" he asked outraged and Edge, MJ and Christian watched amused as Carlito took the fruit basket of apples and marched towards Edge's rent-a-car, "Nobody kisses Carlito unless they have breasts and a pretty face, I'm gonna spit every single one of these apples in Shawn Michaels face!" he yelled outraged and MJ panicked thinking the new co-owner of WWE and newlywed would take issue with being spat on his first day as DX owner of the WWE.
"That's probably not a very good idea being that we're throwing this party at what is now the Helmsley compound and the home of Shawn's best friend and part owner of the WWE, Triple H," Edge said factually but Carlito was already in the car picking out the best apples to spit. Christian and MJ looked at Edge who nodded knowing what they were thinking; this maybe the very last time they know Carlito as an employee of the WWE.
"Tell Dixie Carlito might be coming to TNA," Edge said to his oldest and dearest friend who smiled.
"Now that would be cool!" he said getting into the rent-a-car with Edge and MJ.
"This party is gonna be awesome!" Edge said excitedly and his mom sighed thinking her baby boy was never gonna grow into the sophisticated young man she told Babs and Alison he was and drove to the airport were her friends were waiting for her to be taken to Saremento for Monday Night RAW which would be followed by the Coolest Canadian Carribean Party Connecticut had ever seen!
WWE HQ, Titan Tower, Stamford, CT, 1:00pm:
LC sat on her father's knee as Aurora giggled blowing bubbles out of her mouth sensing that something bad was about to happen to her father's least favorite person, Vincent Kennedy McMahon.
"What are you laughing at?" Vince asked Aurora and Hunter wagged his finger with a warning glare.
"That is not the way to approach this subject Vince, this girl can blow you off the face of the Earth and you better tread lightly if you wanna make it outta here in one piece," Hunter warned the Chairman who had Shane chain him to the desk, he refused to leave the premises and told Hunter several times that he would have to kill him to get him to leave WWE HQ. The fact that Titan Tower was legally the property of DX didn't seem to persuade Vince, Shane and Linda McMahon to go, all three McMahons were staying put but luckily the warroir princess LC and her friends had prepared for such an incident.
"Cameron bring in the paint," LC said into her cell-phone and seconds later Cameron, Carla, Cassidly, Charlene, Tristen Nash and even Cheyenne came into the huge Chairman's office each with a can of paint. The McMahon's noticed the paint on the children's faces; some of it was green and some of it was black and all of it was on the outside of Titan Tower.
"We suggest you leave immediately," Cameron said a fleck of green paint on his forehead.
"Yeah get out!" Carla added, a fleck of black paint on her hair.
"Or we're gonna paint you like we painted the outside of this building!" Cassidy added, green paint all over her hot pink t-shirt, it looked pretty cool.
"What did you just say you did to the outside of my building?" Vince asked in disbelief.
"It's MY building Vince," Triple H corrected the former Chairman of the WWE and Chyna nudged him sharply and he revised the statement, "Make that OUR buidling," he said and Chyna nodded approvingly, "Titan Tower belongs to DX and you ain't got no business telling us what color we can and can't paint it,"
Vince, Shane and Linda ran over to the window and looked down, the children had indeed painted the outside of Titan Tower in DX colors.
"You sonofabitch!" Shane roared and he charged for the 1st Couple of DX but LC saw him coming and signalled for Cameron and her friends to throw paint on him which they did and they got paint on Vince and Linda too.
"Not again!" Linda complained, "This is the second time we've been dosed in green and black paint, maybe we should just retire Vince, I'm not cut out for this crap,"
"You retire somewhere smoking pot is legal, I'm not going anywhere!" Vince said blinking the green paint out of his eyes as the children, Hunter and Chyna laughed and laughed.
"Oh you're going somewhere alright, Sean, Scott, Kev - its time to take out the trash!" Hunter called to the Kliq who were outside the door waiting to do what they did best: help Shawn and Hunter piss off The McMahons.
"Let go of me!" Vince complained as Kevin Nash flipped him up over his shoulder, Hunter noticed the cruel smile on Big Daddy Cool's face and knew instantly what he wanted to do.
"Please Hunter, you've got to let me Jacknife Vince through his desk, I'm begging you brotha!" Kevin begged and Hunter smiled.
"As my first command as co-owner of the WWE, I insist," Hunter replied and Shane and Linda watched in horror while the Kliq, LC, Aurora and rest of the Karate Kampers cheered as Kevin Nash Jacknifed the former Chairman of the Board through his very on desk.
"Oh that's gonna leave a mark!" XPac said and Razor, Hunter and Chyna all got around the broken table and crotch-chopped the bane of their existence.
"You're never gonna be able to run the WWE, only a man as brilliant as my father could ever run the greatest wrestling promotion in the world, you and Shawn are gonna make fools of yourselves and we'll be back in ownership before Wrestlemania!" Shane protested as Razor held him firmly. Razor gave Hunter the puppy dog eyes and Hunter knew that the Bad Guy wanted to do something bad to the Chairman's only son.
"You don't have to ask Razor, do what's in your heart," Hunter said and Scott Hall lifted Shane up and hit him with the Razor's Edge on the plush carpeted floor of Vince's office much to everyone's amusement, everyone except Linda that is.
"I think we're done here, come on boys let's take out the trash," XPac said taking Linda's arm but Mrs. McMahon refused to come along and Sean gave Hunter the same look as Nash and Hall but this time Chyna was the one to respond.
"Linda you look terrible why don't you try to calm down, here have a seat," she said sweetly escorting Linda over to the Old England leather chair in the corner of Vince's office. Linda followed the 9th Wonder of the World nervously, she sat in the leather chair and tried to relax but she couldn't, she had a feeling something bad was about to happen: she was right. As soon as she got comfortable, XPac set up for the Bronco Buster and pounded Linda McMahon's face with his crotch.
"Now I know that's gonna leave a mark!" Hunter said laughing as Linda ran out after her husband and son screaming and rubbing her face repeatedly in disgust.
Cheyenne pulled on her brother's sleeve and Cameron turned to her attentively giving her a hug and mussing up her neatly combed hair.
"Cam-Cam why did Uncle Sean put his crotch in Mrs. McMahon's face?" she asked innocently tidying her hair back up after realizing it was out of place.
Cameron turned to LC who stepped forward seeing how uncomfortable her brother was answering the question, she slipped her arm around Chey's small shoulders and whispered two words in her ear. Cheyenne looked at LC confused then looked over at her brother who wondered what LC just told his baby sister.
"LC said if you ever do that to her she's gonna tell Daddy you told her to SUCK IT," Cheyenne said and everyone gasped in horror.
"Cheyenne don't ever say those two words ever again you got it?" Cameron warned his baby sister for fear of what would happen if his father heard her say the infamous DX catch-phrase.
"SUCK IT!" Aurora cried out jubilantly and Hunter hugged her proudly and kised her adoringly on the cheek.
"That's my girl, you've made this the best year of my entire life!" he said ecstatically and together DX and the children left the huge office, Hunter locking the door behind him, his Triple H keyring hanging from Vince McMahon's office keys.
Outside Sexy Boy Shawn Michaels and Big Red Lita were waiting for them.
"Nice job," Shawn said nodding to the green and black paint job the kids had done on the outside of Titan Tower.
"What are all these other paint cans doing out here?" LC said not remembering seeing metallic purple, blue or pink when she was out there earlier.
"Here comes your explanation," Carla said as Matt and Jeff Hardy appeared from behind Titan Tower covered in purple, blue and pink paint.
Hunter eyed them outraged, "What do you boys think you're doing painting our building all those fruity colors? This is DX Inc, not Team Xtreme's Paint N' Spray!" he complained and Lita and Shawn chuckled to one another making Hunter even madder, "I suppose you two knew about this?" he asked them unimpressed and the newlyweds nodded, "Shawn how are we gonna get anyone to take us seriously if you let two of the craziest kids in the WWE paint company HQ like a bowl of Skittles?" he asked seriously.
"That's the whole idea you see, Jeff likes Skittles and you're kind of fruity yourself," Lita explained and The Kliq, Shawn and Chyna tried to muffle their laughter at how angry Hunter was getting.
"Explain yourself woman," Hunter demanded.
"She's saying your gay Dad, Skittles, fruity, taste the rainbow - what part of this don't you understand?" LC said and everyone burst out laughing including the Hardyz.
"We're just kidding boss, I just wanted to contribute to the new era of domination in the legacy of Degeneration X," Matt Hardy saluting Shawn and Hunter with his paint roller.
"I just like bright colors, you're such a suck up Matt," Jeff added and Lita hushed him not liking the disapproving look Hunter was shooting the Rainbow Warrior.
"Give me one of those," Hunter said rudely and Jeff refused, "Give me one or your not competing in the Number One Contender's Match for the WWE Championship tonight," Hunter threatened him and Jeff pouted.
"Shawn tell him he can't threaten me like that," Jeff Hardy said to Lita's husband.
"Hunter they're his Skittles if you want one you'll have to ask him nicely," Shawn said softly to his partner in crime. Hunter looked down at LC and motioned for her to bring him something, the warrior princess reached into her over-sized DX back-pack and pulled out a sledgehammer and handed it to her father who took it and smiled in Jeff Hardy's sweet stained face.
"Jeff could I please have one of your multi-colored candies?" he said brandishing his favorite weapon of choice and Jeff looked nervously at Matt, then at Lita and finally back at Triple H.
"I just ate the last one," he said showing his sweet-stained teeth in a big colorul smile and everyone burst out laughing as Hunter threw a tantrum wailing the sledgehammer down on an expensive Hummer limosuine, the owner of it eventaully showed himself and everyone gasped as Vince McMahon stuck his head through the window.
"What is he still doing here?" Shawn asked displeased with seeing Vince's angry green face after spending the weekend in paradise with his lovely lady Lita, it was a better contraceptive than most pharmacies would stock.
"Hey fellas I thought you said you were gonna take out the trash?" Hunter called over to Nash, Hall and Waltman who were walking back down towards them.
"We did," Nash replied and pointed to the car carrier that removed illegally parked vehicles in the nearby area.
"Oh no," Vince said as his expensive Hummer limousince was harnessed to the carrier and pulled aboard with other cars, some flashy but most of them trashy and the driver hauled Vince, Shane and Linda off to downtown Connecticut; a place the McMahons never go.
"DAMN YOU DX, I HOPE YOU ROT IN HELL!" Vince cried out through the limosuine window as the driver hauled him and his embarrassed family away from WWE HQ.
"Not much chance of that," Shawn said squeezing Lita to him and kissing her lovingly on the lips.
"So I guess you two are gonna come with us to Sacremento and announce to the WWE fans that DX have officially taken over from The McMahon Family," Matt Hardy asked Shawn and Hunter who exchanged glances like Matt just asked them if they had a MySpace page.
"No we're gonna go to Greenwich and re-decorate," Shawn replied and Matt and Jeff got excited.
"Can we help?" they asked at the same-time.
"No Skittle boy you can't, now take your Rainbow colored ass to Sacremento and get ready for your Number One Contender's Match against Shelton Benjamin," Hunter said and Jeff pouted as Matt hailed a taxi.
"Are you going to help them decorate too Li?" Matt asked and Lita nodded.
"I'm not part of RAW anymore guys, I'm part of the Kliq, go get um Jeffrey!" she said to Jeff and gave him a big kiss which Shawn ended pretty soon after it started.
"That'll do Jeffrey," Shawn said taking Lita back into his arms and kissing her again, he felt something on his lips and looked at Jeff curiously.
"What?" Lita asked him and Shawn tried to identify the taste.
"Nuthin its just his lips they taste so familiar," Shawn said and Hunter gave Jeff a look.
"And I'm the fruity one?" he said and everyone laughed, Shawn had completely forgotten about his Kiss of Life, just like Lita had forgotten her Anointing, Trish her ability to see Truth before it happens and Melina's miraculous healing abilities.
"What?" Shawn asked Lita who fell into a daze thinking about the last few days.
"Nuthin I just don't remember the last time I've ever been so happy," she said and Shawn smiled and gave her another kiss, the sweetness that had startled him startled her and now Lita felt something strange from the kiss. Jeff Hardy smiled as he got into the cab his brother flagged down watching Shawn and Lita try to understand what they were both now struggling to remember.
"They've totally forgotten about their Gifts from God," he said to Matt who was still psyched that his little brother could actually walk on water.
"Aurora still has her gift and don't forget about Rebecca, Trish said that there's gonna be a dispute in the Heavenlies about whether Melina or Stephanie's babies get to be part of the new ATM," Matt said.
"Do you think Shawn's gonna let us see Li as much when the baby's born?" Jeff asked Matt as the taxi pulled away from the curb.
Matt caught the smile of joy on Lita's face as the taxi drove off and turned to his brother, "He's got no choice, I called godfather," Matt replied and Jeff gawked in shock.
"No fair Matt you always get to do the cool stuff with Lita I wanna be godfather too!" Jeff sulked.
"Well I suppose you could be co-godfather," Matt suggested and Jeff gave his brother a dirty look.
"Co-godfather?" Jeff repeated unimpressed.
"Yeah," Matt replied and Jeff crossed his arms over his chest and slunk into the soft leather taxi seat.
"Fine I'll be co-Godfather," he said reluctantly.
"Good we'll share the responsibilties, I'll take Rebecca to the zoo you can teach her how to paint," Matt said and Jeff huffed.
"Fine," Jeff said reaching into his bag of Skittles, the one Hunter didn't know about, they were about the only thing in his life he didn't have to share with his older brother and that made them taste even better.