It's been three weeks since they had what their therapist referred to as "the breakthrough session." They formed some sort of a routine. They wouldn't get too physical. They were both tired very often, and each one wanted to make sure the other one felt comfortable. It made for a lot of sweet, tender moments, even if nothing more. It was almost like they just started dating again, except for the fact that they were ridiculously in love with one another, so not exactly Tabula Rasa. Nor should it been.
However, as time went by, the bear was getting horny. Both bears were.
Arizona was lying down in bed, trying to read a medical journal, when all of a sudden Callie walked in in a haste, and immediately shut the bedroom door behind her.
"Calliope?" Arizona asked. She didn't even hear the other woman getting home, let alone coming towards her room. "What are you doing here all stealthily?" she joked.
"Nothing," Callie said innocently.
"Is everything okay? Is Sofia…" she sat straight, fearing all of a sudden that something happened, causing Callie to shut the door behind them.
"Sofia is absolutely fine, Arizona," Callie said quietly and took a step forward, "she's dead to the world. I checked on her before I came here," she took another step, and started to unzip her jacket.
"Callie," Arizona gulped, "why are you looking at me like you're the lion from Madagascar and I'm the zebra?" Arizona asked, starting to feel her body temperature rising.
"You know why," Callie said seductively, her eyes turning darker.
"Callie…" Arizona said, not exactly sure which outcome she hoped for from the unfolding scenario.
"Arizona, Sofia is asleep, nothing wakes up that girl," Callie said softly and started to crawl on the bed towards Arizona, "and it's been weeks, and I love you, so much, so now, I'm gonna show you," Callie concluded and leaned in to kiss Arizona passionately. They both moaned and eventually broke apart. The kiss left them both breathless.
"We can't," Arizona said, still panting. "The first week Tam Tam could actually hear us, we spent talking on trust issues, and fears. Now we're moving to sexy talk? We're gonna turn her into a hooligan before she's even born."
"Sex talk now will save a lot of trouble when she's 15," Callie contended and leaned in to kiss Arizona again. The other woman was definitely a willing participant in the kissing, but she was still hesitant about going further.
"Callie… I… I'm nearly eight months pregnant," Arizona said quietly, not looking into Callie's eyes. "I really don't feel very sexy lately," she confessed.
"Hey," Callie said softly, making Arizona look at her. "Is that the real reason why we haven't done anything? Because that would make it reason number four," she chuckled.
"No, god no. I want to, so badly, it's just…" she said but didn't finish.
"Hey, I understand," Callie said and pecked Arizona's lips. "I've been where you are. But my god, you are breathtaking. And you're carrying my child. Really, there's nothing sexier than that."
"But there isn't much I could do, you know, in terms of… moving, and… not blocking," Arizona explained.
"Yes, but I can," Callie said softly. "Let me make you feel good. I want to make you feel good so badly," she said with nothing but love and desire in her eyes.
It was one of those rare moments in which you can actually see yourself through someone else's eyes, and Arizona loved what she saw. Her heart was pounding ridiculously fast.
"Okay," she whispered and got a dazzling smile in return.
"I love you," Callie said.
"I love you, too."
Callie smiled and leaned forward to kiss Arizona again. The kiss alone was enough to put both their bodies on fire, yet it was time for more, and once they broke the kiss, Callie gave Arizona one last smile before she started lowering herself down Arizona's body. Arizona was quick to grab her wrist.
"No," she said. "We haven't done this in nearly five years. Stay up here with me?"
"I'll stay with you forever," Callie promised, looking into Arizona's eyes, and they smiled at one another.
Callie slowly helped Arizona out of her shirt, and finally put her hands on Arizona's skin.
"You, too," Arizona said and Callie easily understood what she meant as she took her own shirt off. Both women were suddenly on the verge of tears as the magnitude of the moment finally hit them.
Callie put her hand over Arizona's bra, softly cupping the woman's breast through the fabric.
"Is this okay?" she asked softly, trying to be sensitive to Arizona's… condition.
"It's more than okay," Arizona said and breathed out in pleasure. "It's amazing."
And it was. All of it was. They lost themselves in the amazing sensation as every last piece of them finally fell into place.
They were basking in the afterglow. Basking was an understatement.
Arizona didn't dare to imagine that sex at 30 weeks pregnant could feel so damn good. But of course, it was more than sex, it was making love. Cliché as it was, she lived long enough to allow herself the distinction.
Callie stayed with her the whole time like she promised, until Arizona gave her the go, and with a last dazzling smile, Callie disappeared behind Arizona's pregnant belly and straight between Arizona's legs. Arizona thought the best way to describe how she was feeling when Callie's tongue finally made contact with her body, was "bliss." Also, absolute belonging.
Arizona wanted to return the favor, but Callie objected, saying that this was about her.
"I want to touch you, it is about me," Arizona said and finally Callie gave in. They lied face to face, allowing Arizona access to Callie's body. It was glorious. Callie's body, their feelings, all of it. It might not been the ideal, most convenient love making ever, but it was glorious nonetheless.
Arizona, who was somehow being the little spoon at the moment, was already reminiscing, her fingers laced with Callie's.
"Wow," Callie said quietly and Arizona turned to look at her, "all those clichés about coming home…" Callie said and laughed in pure joy. Arizona returned the favor with a smile and a tender kiss.
"Well, technically, you did come home," she pointed out.
"I did. Didn't I? I think there's a chance I'll be staying longer than what we initially discussed."
"Please, please do," Arizona said lovingly and they got lost in each other's eyes.
"It never felt with anyone the way it feels with you," Callie admitted. "Even during the bad times, but especially during the good ones. Especially now," she added vulnerably, hoping that she wasn't saying too much.
Arizona could see that inner struggle and leaned in to kiss Callie.
"I know exactly what you mean," she said reassuringly, "I feel exactly the same way."
"Good," Callie said in relief, and they stared at each other again, hardly managing to contain everything they felt.
"So I guess that settles that we can turn your room into the nursery?" Arizona said and smirked and Callie snorted.
"Yeah, but until we talk to Sofia I better get out of here," Callie said sadly.
"But I don't wanna sleep without you, not on our first night…" Arizona pouted. Callie understood perfectly. She felt the exact same way.
"Okay, setting the alarm to extra early and then we talk to her tomorrow?" Callie offered.
"Yes," Arizona said simply and grabbed her phone from the nightstand to set the alarm.
"Arizona, are you sure you want to do this already? This is a whole other kind of moving in," Callie said softly. She didn't want Arizona to regret a thing.
"Calliope, I'm sure. I'm not sleeping without you ever again. Plus, baby's safety and all of that."
"Sure, baby's safety," Callie said and smiled.
"Good, I'm glad that's settled. Good night, Calliope, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship," Arizona said and turned in Callie's arms again.
"Roommates with benefits," Callie teased, "sweet!" she said and Arizona slapped the hand that was on her stomach.
"Shut up!" she said and Callie giggled.
'Yes,' Arizona thought to herself, 'bliss.' She sighed happily and they both drifted into sleep.
Sofia was sitting in the living room, watching TV. Callie and Arizona stared at her from afar, assessing the situation.
"Are you ready to do this, again?" Callie asked.
"Absolutely not. Great, then. I'm glad we got that covered. What was the exact wording Dr. Dawson used last week?" Callie asked, trying to remember. "Should I start bringing a notebook to our session?" she wondered and Arizona snorted.
"Come on, Calliope. We can do this. She said to be honest, to explain that it's a transition period. Something about how grownups make mistakes too, but that we love each other, and we love her, and we want to try and be a family again."
"Yes, okay. I think I'm gonna throw up," Callie said and put her hand on her stomach.
"Callie, this isn't some speech in a conference, this is just our daughter," Arizona said softly and took Callie's hand.
"Oh, so just the most important person in our lives which I'm really hoping we're not messing up?" Callie offered.
"Why are you guys staring at me from over there?" Sofia called from the couch. "It's weird."
"Great," Callie said, "we're dealing with both, a deeply emotional talk, and a near adolescent attitude."
"Come on," Arizona said and dragged Callie into the living room, where their daughter was looking at them in confusion.
"Honey," Arizona started, "can we talk to you for a minute?"
"Okay, mama," Sofia said and the two women sat on the other couch.
"Hmm… Arizona started. "Grownups can make mistakes too, you see?"
"Ah?" Sofia asked in confusion.
"Great job already, genius," Callie mocked and Arizona pouted. "Look, honey," Callie tried, "your mama and I, we used to live here together before. Remember we told you that?"
"Except that when we lived here together, we also shared a room," Callie explained, "because we were married."
"But now you're not anymore, which is why you're not in the same room," Sofia added, reciting what her moms told her when Callie was about to move in.
"Right," Callie agreed. "The reason we weren't married anymore, was because, like your mama said, grownups make mistakes, too. And we made a lot of mistakes with one another, but we still cared a lot about each other, and about you. So we stayed friends."
"I can't believe how great you're handling this while I'm flailing," Arizona whispered in Callie's ear and made her smile softly.
"I understand, mommy," Sofia said.
"But, hmmm…" Callie started, realizing that the next part would be trickier, "things changed, because, when you care about someone, and when time passes, you can try and forgive the mistakes."
"Forgiveness is important," Sofia deadpanned, repeating what her parents taught her.
"Exactly, honey," Arizona said, trying to pitch in again. "And so, your mommy and I, we forgave each other. We are working hard to fix our mistakes, you see?"
"Does that mean you're getting married?" Sofia asked in confusion, trying to connect the dots.
"No, honey," Arizona said and sighed, "but it does mean that we are together again. There is more than one way of being together with someone. Sometimes, people get married, but sometimes they don't."
"Why not?" Sofia asked and Arizona looked at Callie in panic.
"Because," Callie said and glared at Arizona, "in order to get married, you need to be together for a while. But you don't have to. Sometimes, it's just enough to know that we are all together, as a family. You know? It just means that we don't just like each other as friends, anymore. It means we love each other. And we love you, and Tam Tam, and we're gonna be an even better family than we were until now. And thanks to that, I'll stay here with you longer than we thought," Callie said and Sofia's eyes lit up.
"You will?" she asked in excitement and it melted both her mothers' hearts.
"I will," Callie promised. "Maybe even for a very long time."
"Yay!" Sofia said and jumped off the couch and straight into Callie's arms.
"See," Arizona said, "that's one of the perks of us being back together. The other one, is that mommy can move into my room, so Tam Tam will also have her own room! Isn't that exciting?" she asked and Callie snorted, admiring Arizona's ability to put the selfless spin on their current situation.
"So, you're gonna be in the same room… does that mean you are girlfriends?" Sofia asked, her brows scrunching in confusion.
"Yes, honey, we are," Callie said and Arizona smiled. They haven't used that word very often to describe what they were doing. They were just… being.
"But we are your mothers first and foremost," Callie added. "Do you understand, honey? It means that even if we fight, or make mistakes with one another again, we are always gonna be here for you. Is that okay?"
"Yes, mommy," Sofia said and smiled. She didn't remember much from the time they were together, but she did realize that this meant having both of her mothers with her all the time, for a very long time.
"It also means," Arizona said, "that mommy and I get to hold hands and kiss each other," she added with a glint in her eye. "Things that grownups who love one another do," she clarified.
"Mommy, it's okay, I understand. I kissed a boy too!" Sofia added excitedly.
"I'm sorry, what?!" Callie said in shock and Arizona snorted.
"Yeah. His name is Ben and he's in my class. I'm a grownup too!"
"No, Sofia. You're not," Callie deadpanned.
"But mommy, he gave me gummy bears and I wanted to thank him!" Sofia said, not understanding what the problem was.
"Sofia, no more kissing boys, or girls, until you are at least twelve. Do you understand me?" Callie said seriously.
"No! Kisses are for your special person. Like your mama is to me, and we've known each other for longer than you have lived. Do you understand?"
"But mommy, Ben is special! He gave me gummy bears," Sofia pleaded.
"No, sweetie," Arizona tried, "what your mommy is trying to say is that this special person is someone you know would do anything for you and you would do anything for him. Do you understand?" she asked softly.
Sofia thought about it for a few moments.
"I think so," she finally said.
"Good, now go to your room and think about what we said. Okay?"
"Am I being punished?" Sofia asked sadly.
"Oh, honey, no," Callie was quick to explain. "We just talked about a lot of stuff and we want you to take some time, to make sure you understand. And if you have any questions, ask us, okay?"
"Okay," Sofia resigned, "can I read before bed?"
"Of course you can, honey. We are not mad. Do you believe us?" Callie asked softly.
"Yes," Sofia said to her mothers' delight, not knowing the special place these words held in their hearts.
"Love you," Arizona said, as Sofia finally got up.
"Love you, too," she smiled and went into her room.
"Well," Arizona said once Sofia was out of earshot, "I think this went pretty well. Other than what your daughter did with that boy.
"My daughter?" Callie asked and looked at Arizona in disbelief.
"You know I would never kiss a boy, Callie. She couldn't have gotten it from me," Arizona teased and Callie knew she was joking.
"Arizona!" she said and giggled.
"Well," Callie said, "at least it's obvious she got some game. My daughter for sure."
"I can't believe this happened. We're gonna have to have 'the talk' with her soon," Callie said, she seemed terrified. "Maybe we should've had more sexy talk when this one was in the womb."
"That's what I kept telling you back then!" Arizona wined, remembering how Callie hardly let her touch her.
"Remind me to listen to your more often" Callie said softly.
"That's not gonna be a problem," Arizona promised.