LISTEN HERE YOU LIL' SHIT!
"Hello Summoners! And welcome back to LoL Survivor! I'm your host Ryze."
"And I'm zeh better 'ost, Fiora!"
"Better? Please I'm way cooler than you!"
Fiora laughed, "If you're cooler, zen I am 'otter."
Ryze gasped, "WHAT! YOU OUT INSULTED ME IN MY FIRST LANGUAGE! WHAT IS THIS?"
"She's gotten smarter…"
Fiora continued, "Anyways, we are in zeh final four today."
Ryze nodded, "And because we've reached the final four, do expect to see some commercials here and there."
Fiora clapped her hands, "Like zis one!"
A middle aged woman is on the ground holding her stomach, "Oh no! I've got a really bad stomach ache! What will I do?"
DON'T WORRY MERE MORTAL!
I am referred to as the invisible man that targets the weak in order to sell a product and i hear your cries of pain! That stomachache you've got? No problem if you have...
"Fartedine? Sounds like it's going to make me fart a lot…"
THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT IT'LL DO!
Now with Fartodine, you can fart all your troubles away! By the use of farting, you will eliminate all the gas that gives you that stomachache of yours!
"What!? No way! That's great!"
Cue the overly happy family runs through various different, beautiful, and natural environments planting the idea into people's minds that Fartodine is environmentally friendly, good for them, and will change their lives for the better while i secretly list the never ending list of dangerous and life threatening side effects
The overly happy family runs through various different, beautiful, and natural environments planting the idea in people's minds that it Fartodine is environmentally friendly, good for them, and will change their lives for the better while secretly, the invisible man, that targets the weak in order to sell a product, lists the never ending list of dangerous and life threatening side effects.
Fartodine is great for stomach pains, gas, and constipation but some side effects may occur:
Stomach pains, gas, constipation, diarrhea, the flu, headaches, earaches, backaches, aches in general, soreness, jellification of bones, loss of hearing, loss of eyesight, loss of smell, loss of your senses in general, high blood pressure, low blood pressure, mediocre blood pressure, blood pressure in general, teenage pregnancy if female, teenage pregnancy if male, pregnancy in general, and death.
Do not use if you are pregnant, have high blood pressure, have low blood pressure, have a heart condition, have a heart in general. Just don't take this drug if you have a living beating heart.
Ask your doctor if Fartodine is for you.
"And we're back!"
"Zat was a weird commercial…"
Ryze agreed, "Yup, I wonder who thought that was a good idea…"
"Anyvays, please welcome zeh remaining contestants!"
Ahri, Kat, Jinx, and Sona walked in, "Hey. Yo. HI! :D"
Ryze revealed the challenge; "We've got an exciting challenge in store for you today! We're being paid by RIOT Games to play their new video game: RIOT Rocks! It's pretty much like Guitar Hero or Rock Band but with different characters and instruments."
Ahri cheered, "Yes!"
"I love these sort of games!"
Fiora revealed the instruments, "We've got four different instruments. Zeh piano, zeh drums, zeh guitar, and vocals. You will all take a turn playing each instrument. Who ever gets zeh best overall score wins! Understood?"
Ryze smiled, "Good. We begin!"
Jinx was looking through the songs, "OMG! MY SONG! IT'S ON THERE! START!"
The song began…
"WANNA JOIN ME… COME AND PLAYYYYYY! BUT I MIGHT SHOOT YOU IN YOUR FACE! BOMBS AND BULLETS MAY DO THE TRICK. WHAT DO WE NEED HERE? IT'S A LITTLE BIT OF PANIC OH AH!"
As you can see, Jinx knew the words to her song by heart, but she got a little too into the performance and…
"DO YOU… REALLY… WANNA SNIFF CATCH ME! RIGHT NOW I'M FEELING… Ignored… WAAAAAAAAHH!" Jinx started sobbing, "Can you try a little harder? Please. Please please. Try harder. PLEASE!"
"I worry about her sometimes… All the time…"
Ahri managed to hit most of the stuff but not all.
Sona on the other hand, rocked it.
Then there was Kat, "I can't do this shit! Flick the flicky things and press buttons at the same time? IT'S IMPOSSIBLE!"
Round over: Results
Jinx just recovered from her song, "That was very emotional."
Ahri pointed out, "Shooting people in their face is emotional?"
Jinx nodded, "Yes, especially when they don't scream loud enough. Brings me to tears every time."
Sona, Ahri, and Kat all looked at one another, "…"
" :/ "
The song started…
Sona and Ahri began on a great note. (Haha see what I did there.)
Sona hit every thing and didn't miss a single note, ":D"
And Ahri missed a few here and there.
Kat on the other hand…
"I'M… STILL INTO YO- FUCK! I CAN'T SING FOR SHIT IM SO DONE WITH THIS GAME!"
And if you thought that was bad… Jinx went insane.
"HA! HA! HAHAHA! STUPID DRUMS! THEY CAN'T DEFEAT ME! I'M TOO STRONG! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" She went insane. She started hitting those drums as if they were Teemo's face, "HAHAHAHAHA HUEHUEHUEHUEHU MUHAHAHAHA MUEHEHEHEHE HEEHEEHEEHEE TEEHEEEHEE HAHAHAHA!"
Round over: Results
Jinx laughed, "I WIN HAHAH! SUCK IT!"
Kat screamed, "HOW DID YOU DO SO WELL ON THAT SHIT GUITAR!?"
Ahri smiled, "It was easy! Just flick the strings and press the buttons at the same time…"
Kat grumbled, "I hate games that require skill." (Ha see what I did there?)
Ahri cheered as she flipped through the songs, "YES! They've got my jam! Run Devil Run by Girls' Generation!" Ahri clicked play.
Ahri sang and hit every note with perfection, "You better run run run run run! Deoneun mot bwa geodeocha!"
"She sings Korean too? Omg, is there anything she can't do?"
Jinx pressed the piano keys and laughed, "Beep beep boop boop! Hahahah! Beep."
Sona was struggling on the guitar, " :/ "
Kat, on the other hand, finally found an instrument she's good at, "YEAH! SUCK IT BITCHES!"
Round over: Results
Kat cheered, "100? SUCK IT! HAHA! I FOUND MY CALLING BITCHES!"
Ahri smiled at Sona, "Guess we're tied, huh. Who ever gets the high score wins!"
" :) "
"Fuck… Ahri and Sona are tied. If Ahri wins, then Jinx and Sona will have to vote for me. And it's obvious that none of them will vote for each other… Ahri needs to lose if I'm going to make it to the next round…"
"I guess I win."
Sona frowned, " D: "
Jinx nodded, "Yeah! This isn't fair. Sona can't sing and you know it!"
Kat swore, "Fuck! That's not fair!"
" D: "
Ryze sighed, "Well what do you expect us to do? We don't get to choose. We're just the hosts. We don't own this show. We just host…"
Jinx yelled, "But that's not FAIR!"
Ahri repeated, "You heard him. There's nothing he can do about it. So just pick a song, Sona, and get this over with."
Jinx got really angry, "There IS something he can do about it. HE'S just too lazy! I'LL GIVE HIM SOME MODIVATION!" She picked up her guitar and threw it at Ryze's face, "YOU LISTEN HERE YOU SHIT!"
Everyone gasped. No one's ever heard Jinx be so angry.
"I DON'T GIVE A FUCK. THIS IS UNFAIR! YOU WERE AWARE, AND THE OWNERS OF THIS SHIT SHOW WERE AWARE THAT SONA DOESN'T TALK! ACCEPT IT AND COME UP WITH CHALLENGES THAT GIVE A CHANCE TO EVERYONE! NOW DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS OR ELSE I WILL SEND MY SUPER MEGA DEATH ROCKET AT YOU!"
Ryze and Fiora were genuinely terrified, "Ryze, I sink we should listen to 'er…"
Ryze nodded, "I think you're right… Anyways, after realizing how unfair this is, I'm just going to call the challenge off! No one wins! And no one loses. Is that fair."
Jinx smiled, "Yup!"
Kat was shocked, "Damn girl. That was fucking awesome! I didn't know you had it in you… Never mind, yes I did."
"Sometimes people just need a little shove."
"Although that bitch is absolutely crazy, she's earned my respect."
"Way to go Jinx."
Sona held up a piece of paper with the words, "Thank you!" on them.
Sona smiled, ":D "
Later that night at elimination…
"After today's earlier challenge disaster… We've talked to the owners and they are fine with everything that happened. In fact, they apologize to you, Sona, for being so inconsiderate."
"Anyways, Sona, Jinx, and Katarina, you're all safe. Sorry Ahri. You've been eliminated."
Ahri sighed, "Well I made it far. Good luck you guys!"
(I hope you liked today's chapter! Sorry about the whole vacation thing and my stupid laptop. But I'm back now so the chapters will follow the original schedule. WE'RE IN THE FINAL THREE SO VOTE! Anyways, have fun and have a great night.)