Season Two Interview! Part 1
Ezreal and Lux smiled at the camera, "Hello, Summoners! Welcome to a sneak preview of the contestants for Season 2!"
Lux spoke, "Me and Ezreal are going to interview some of the contestants in order to get a little information on them. Ready, Ez?"
Ezreal nodded, "Let's do this!"
Interviewing the contestants:
"Yeah, Ez?""Why's there a little girl here?"
"I don't know. Don't ask me."
There was a little girl lying on the ground colouring with crayons with a stuffed bear sitting right next to her.
Ezreal hesitated, "Ok…? Umm hello… Are you lost?"
She covered her mouth with her hand.
Ezreal looked puzzled, "Ummm… Is everything alright?"
She uncovered her mouth, "Mommy says I shouldn't talk to strangers." She then proceeded to cover her mouth again.
"Umm… ok then. I'm Ezreal. What's your name?"
Annie smiled, "My name is Annie!"
Ezreal smiled, "Hi, Annie! Wanna play a game while we wait for your parents to return?"
Annie giggled, "No silly! I'm a contes… contest…"
"Contestant?" Ezreal proposed.
"YEAH! THAT! But can we still play a game! I LOVE GAMES!"
"Umm… Yeah, sure. How about tag?"
Annie shook her head, "You're really silly. Tag is for babies! Plus, Tibbers and I both have another game in mind!"
Ezreal asked, "Really? What is it called?"
Annie giggled, "It's called Murder! It's our favourite game. Tibbers and I play it all the time! How about Tibbers and I get to be the Murderer first and you can be the victim? Hopefully, you last longer than the other guy..."
Ezreal screamed and ran away, "LUX!"
Annie cheered, "Aww! He's already getting into it, Tibbers! C'mon! Let's kill him!" Annie jumps up, bends over, grabs Tibbers, and skips in the direction that Ezreal ran.
Lux walked towards the mummy, "Hello there."
Amumu turned around, tears flowing from his eyes, "H-hi."
Lux gasped, "Are you ok? What's wrong?"
Amumu frowned, "I don't have any friends…"
Lux hugged Amumu, "It's ok! I'll be your friend! Don't worry! Everything will be-"
"REALLY? YOU'LL BE MY FRIEND!?" Amumu hugged Lux and sobbed tears of happiness.
The room quickly started to flood with the salty water pouring out of Amumu's eyes, "I'M SO HAPPY!"
Lux started to panic, "Amumu. Amumu, stop crying! AMUMU STOP!"
This made Amumu cry even harder, "I'M SORRY! I JUST CAN'T CONTROL MYSELF!"
Ezreal ran in and opened the room door. Water started gushing out of the room and into the building's hallways.
Moments later, two really buff guys dragged Amumu away.
Lux turned to Ezreal, "I'm happy to see you got rid of Annie."
Ezreal sighed, "She'll be back. She just needed to 'go to the potty.'"
A giggled could be heard from the hallway, "I'm back!"
Ezreal quickly darted away, "FUCK!"
Draven yelled furiously at the author of the story, "IT'S NOT DRAVEN. IT'S DRAAAAAAAAAVEN!"
Lux walked into the room and saw Draven sitting on the chair with his feet on the single table in the middle of the room.
As soon as Draven saw Lux, he sat up properly and brushed his hair back, "Hello pretty lady. My name is Draven, what's yours?"
Lux rolled her eyes, "My name is Lux."
Draven grinned, "Ooh Lux. That's a pretty name."
"Mmhmm, let's get this interview over with." Lux replied coldly. "What's your favourite thing to do, Draven?"
"Please, call me Drav. Actually, just call me Draven. I love hearing you say my name."
Draven winked, "Right. The 'question'."
Lux glared at him, "There's no sexual joke. Why the hell would you wink? Ugh never mind. Just answer the goddamn question. What do you like to do for fun?"
Draven smiled, "Well, I enjoy looking into a mirror, but I like looking at your face better."
"I have a boyfriend."
"Yes, I'll be your boyfriend. You're welcome." It took a while for Draven to realize what Lux just said, "YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND? WHAT? WHO IS THIS PUNK? NO ONE STEALS A GIRL FROM DRAAAAAAVEN! ESPECIALLY IF IT'S MY GIRL!"
Lux punched Draven in the face, "I'm not you're girl, you douchebag." Lux stood up and walked away. She turned around before she left the room, "It was not a pleasure to meet you, Draaaaaaven."
"… She totally digs me."
Lux walked into the room and saw Darius, "Hello. Darius, right?"
Darius smiled, "Yes, that's me."
"Oh thank god, a normal one." Lux quickly pulled up a chair and sat in front of Darius, "You won't believe the asshole I just met."
Darius guessed his name, "Was his name perchance Draven?"
Lux grinned like the gods have bestowed her the gift of a normal being, "YES! YES! YES! SOMEONE UNDERSTANDS! Wait you know him?"
Darius nodded, "Yeah unfortunately. He's my brother. My entire family tries to ignore that fact that he's related to us."
"Ooh that's rough. Sorry to hear that."
Moments later, the door swung open and Draven ran into the room, "YO BRO! I MET THIS BITCH AND SHE WAS THE HOTTEST THING EVER! SHE'S A SOLID 10!"
Darius sighed, "Speak of the devil."
Draven then looked at Draven and noticed that he was talking to Lux, "Yo, dude, she's mine. I called dibs first. Don't go stealing her from me!"
Darius rolled his eyes, "Draven she's not yours."
"YOU SHIT! YOU FUCKED HER, DIDN'T YOU? I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'D BETRAY ME LIKE THAT! WE'RE BLOOD! WE'RE BROS YO! WE'RE FAMILY! I… HATE… YOU!" Draven pounced on Darius and tackled him to the floor. Darius and Draven were wrestling and yelling insults at each other.
"WOW NICE ONE DRAVEN! SUCH A GOOD INSULT!"
Lux sighed, "Just one normal interview. Just one…"
Lux walked out of the room and saw Ezreal, "Ez? Where's Annie?"
Ezreal replied really happily, "Her parents came and picked her up. Now everything is great again!"
"Perfect! Interview this next few people. I need a break." Lux gave Ezreal a pack of paper and walked away.
Ezreal opened the door and saw an Indian woman meditating, "Umm, hello, my name is-"
"Ezreal. I know."
Ezreal looked confused, "H-how'd you know?"
"I know all." After a few seconds, Karma giggled, "I'm simply kidding. I overheard you and Lux talking." Karma stood up and introduced herself, "My name is Karma."
"Hi, Karma. It's a pleasure to meet you."
Karma nodded, "You as well. So, this Annie? What's she done?"
Ezreal explained it all.
Karma replied, "You say it was a game, yes? Why didn't you tell her you don't wanna play Murder?"
Ezreal argued, "BECAUSE SHE'S A PSYCHOPATH!"
Karma sighed, "Maybe, just maybe she's not the problem. Maybe you are."
Ezreal looked at her as if she was crazy, "Excuse me? What's wrong with me?"
Karma looked into his eyes, "You're at peace with the world, Ezreal, but at war with yourself."
Ezreal yelled at the ceiling, "WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?"
Karma pointed out, "The ceiling won't tell you. Ceiling's don't talk."
Ezreal face palmed, "…"
Some moments later…
"Ezreal! Ezreal? Where the fuck is he? He was supposed to interview Miss Fortune 10 minutes ago! Ezreal?" Lux opened the door and gasped.
She saw Ezreal sobbing into Karma's shoulder, "And then poor Juniper died and I couldn't handle it! My poor goldfish was DEAD!"
Karma patted him on the back, "There there. Everything will be alright."
"EZREAL!? YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO INTERVIEW MISS FORTUNE 10 MINUTES AGO AND YOU'RE LAYING HERE?"
Ezreal turned around and saw Lux, "CAN'T YOU SEE I'M IN AN EMOTIONAL STATE RIGHT NOW? YOU INTERVIEW MISS FORTUNE! I'M TRYING TO FIND INNER PEACE!"
Lux grunted, "YOU ARE SUCH A PAIN!" She walked out of the room and slammed the door.
Lux swung the door open and saw a hot red headed woman sitting down on a chair, "Wow…" Lux quickly ran up and pulled a chair. She stared at Miss Fortune for a few seconds.
Miss Fortune felt uncomfortable, "Umm… Hello?"
Lux quickly shushed her, "Shhh! I'm still trying to figure out if your boobs are real or if you got implants…"
Miss Fortune blushed, "They're real…"
Lux yelled, "FUCK! I HATE YOU!"
"Way to make me feel bad about my appearance, you fucking stupid, ass, gorgeous, walking perfection… How is you're hair so pretty? What products do you use?"
Miss Fortune answered, "I don't know… Shampoo…?"
"That's it? Conditioner? Hair moisturizer? Anything?"
Miss Fortune shook her head, "No just shampoo…"
Lux sighed, "I really truly hate you… Anyways, back on subject, what do you like to do for fun?"
Miss Fortune smiled, "Well… I like…"
But Lux didn't hear anything that Miss Fortune said. Lux was too busy thinking in her head… "How the fuck is she so damn gorgeous? There's no way that she only uses shampoo… I wonder if people would find out if I killed her and wore her skin…"
Miss Fortune giggled, "And yeah, that pretty much sums it up."
Lux then snapped back to reality, "Oh ok. Thank you. Well, my BOYFRIEND, you know, because I'm not that completely hopeless, really fucked everything up so I don't have much time to interview you. So… Um thanks for coming. Good luck and SAY CHEESE!" Lux quickly pulled out her cell phone and took a picture of Miss Fortune. Lux dashed out of the room maniacally laughing, "MY PRECIOUS!"
Miss Fortune just sat down in silence, "… Why does this always happen? This is like the 6th time today…"
"Hello, Lucian." Lux said as she strolled into the room. "My boyfriend is currently on a spiritual journey so I'm going to be interviewing you."
Lucian nodded, "Alright then. Ask away."
And Lux did. "What's your favourite movie?"
Lucian chuckled, "Oh we used to watch The Master of Disguise all the time. I hated it, but I watched it with her anyways because I knew she loved it…"
Lux was curious, "Who's we…?"
Lucian explained, "Oh… She's my wife… Or… was I guess…" Lucian began to cry.
Lux hugged him, "Aw sweetie…"
Lucian sobbed, "We did everything together. We vanquished evil together, we watched movies together, we played video games together, we had sex together…"
"Umm… I didn't need to know that…"
Lucian continued, "Oh but it was amazing. She was so nice and sweet outside of the bedroom, but she was a cold, hungry, thirsty, wild bea-"
Lux covered his mouth, "Too much info."
Lucian apologized, "Sorry, I just miss her so much… It's all Thresh's fault… That stupid shit killed her. If only he was dead… I WILL DO IT! I WILL KILL HIM! HE WILL DIE AT MY HANDS! I WILL DESTROY THRESH! I WILL ANNIHALATE HIM! HE'S GONNA WISH THAT HE HAD KILLED ME INSTEAD OF MY BELOVED. HA. HAHAHAHAHA!"
Lux slowly backed away.
Lucian noticing that he scared her then apologized once more, "Sorry. I didn't mean to frighten you. This tends to happen every once in a while…"
Lux shook her head nervously, "No no… It's fine! I just need to go and interview some others. That's all. Well I hope you kill-"
"YES I WILL MURDER HIM! I WILL BATHE IN HIS BLOOD ALONG WITH MY LITTLE YELLOW RUBBER DUCKY, SIR DUCKWERT!"
Lux squealed and ran out of the room.
She angrily kicked open the door into the room that Karma and Ez was in and yelled, "EZ YOU ARE INTERVIEWING NOW!"
Ez responded, "I'VE ALMOST FOUND PEACE, DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME!"
"FUCK PEACE! I'VE INTERVIEWED A SHIT TON OF CRAZY ASS PEOPLE, except for MF… DAMN that girl is FINE! POINT IS: IT'S YOUR TURN!"
Ezreal sighed, "Fine, see you next week Karma."
Karma smiled, "Don't forget to bring me my money! 5 dollars a minute!"
"FIVE DOLLARS A MINUTE? EZREAL YOU'RE PAYING HER?"
Ezreal argued, "IT'S INNER PEACE LUX! IT'S WORTH IT!"
Lux rolled her eyes, "JUST INTERVIEW PEOPLE ALREADY!"
Ezreal's head dropped, "Fine…"
Ezreal leaves the room, and Lux and Karma sit there in silence…
"So… five dollars a minute, eh?"
Karma nodded, "Yes... Five dollars."
Lux pulled out a piece of paper from her boob, "I have a coupon." She handed to Karma.
Karma smiled, "Ooh 50% off. Sit down. We begin."
Lux squealed and sat down, "Inner peace, here I come."
Ezreal opens the door and enters a room. Gangplank was sitting down on a chair next to a table like everyone else was.
"Hello, me matey."
"Um… Hi…? So… What's up?"
"Well, me matey, I have located the booty and it is the finest booty in all the land."
"Do you mean booty as in like butt or booty as in treasure."
"… Both, laddie." He then casually looked at Ezreal, "You have the booty too! Can I have me some of that booty?"
Ezreal replied awkwardly, "Haha. NO!" He sprinted towards the door, opened the door, and yelled, "CREEP!"
"… I just wanted to borrow some money…"
(Hello, Summoners! I hope this makes up for the whole two weeks that I've been unable to write. I would've written more, to be honest, but I got really bored. xD So I hope this is enough to make up for 2 weeks worth of no updates and I will post up the second part next Sunday. Until then, I hope you've enjoyed these 2200 words. Have a good day, and play on Summoners!)