LoL Survivor

Goddammit, Paul

"HELLO, SUMMONERS! WELCOME BACK TO LOL SURVIVOR! WOOOOHHH YEAAH! I'M SO EXCITED!" Jinx was running all over the place. She seemed much more energetic than usual.

Sona looked at the camera and smiled apologetically, "I'm sorry about Jinx. SOMEONE decided it would be a good idea to give Jinx coffee… Isn't that right, Paul?" Sona glared off camera.

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry isn't going to do anything about Jinx, Paul!" Sona snapped.

Jinx sprinted back towards the camera and screamed, "THE CONTESTANTS HAVE A FUN NEW CHALLENGE THAT WILL TEST THEIR SMARTS! LET'S GO MEET UP WITH THEM NOW!" Jinx grabbed the camera from the cameraman and ran away. The cameraman and the rest of the tech crew ran chasing after Jinx yelling at her to not break the camera and to be careful.

Sona's voice could be heard, "You see what you've done, Paul?"



The screen then goes static but then returns back to normal. This time, only Sona was there.

"Sorry about that, Summoners! Don't worry about, Jinx! She's been handled. Hopefully, she'll return to normal before the episode ends, but until then, let's continue with the challenge!" Sona stepped aside and revealed all the contestants. Every team was sitting in a booth with a red button in front of them on a little table. Sona walked towards the confused contestants.

"Hey, where's Jinx?" Caitlyn asked.

"She's been tied to a treadmill."


"Paul gave her coffee."


"SHUT IT, PAUL!" Sona screamed. She turned to the contestants that all looked terrified because they've never seen Sona get angry, "I'm sorry that you had to see this part of me. This show has me under a lot of stress. Anyways, today's challenge is quite simple. This challenge is all about intellect. You will all be asked questions. Whoever presses the red button in front of each team first, gets an opportunity to answer the question. If they get it right, they gain a point. Simple, right?"


Amumu asked, "Is it 21?"

Annie paused, "I think so…"

Sona sighed, "You have a point… This is rather unfair. Unfortunately, it's either you participate and lose, or you just don't participate and lose..."

Amumu and Annie looked at each other and began talking.

Amumu turned to Sona, "We know we won't win either way, so Annie and I have decided to not participate."

Sona nodded, "Alright then. We'll see you later at the Elimination Ceremony. PAUL!"

A really tall, muscular, and hairy man walks in front of the camera, "Y-yes ma'am?"

Sona turned to Annie and Amumu, "For now, Paul here will keep you occupied until the challenge ends, isn't that right, Paul?" She turned to Paul and whispered, "If you don't fuck this up Paul, you'll keep your job."


Annie and Amumu looked at each other and smiled, "WE LOVE THEM!" And they chased after Paul.

Veigar whispered to Pix, "You would think that a muscular and intimidating man like Paul would be less terrified of Sona…"

Sona turned to the contestants and continued, "Alright, please welcome the people, or should I say robots, that will be quizzing you! Blitz and Orianna!"

Blitz and Orianna walked in front of the contestants. They looked at each other and spoke, "This is great. There are many Homo sapiens in the vicinity. This is a perfect place to conduct our research."

Sona continued to speak, "These two geniuses will ask you 10 questions. Whichever teams get the most correctly wins. Understood?"

Everyone nodded.

Sona smiled, "Good. Orianna, Blitz, you may begin any time you like."

Blitz beeped, "Chemistry: The first question is a very easy one. How many elements are liquid at room temperature and what are their names, number, and charge?"

Vi's Confessional

"So much for easy…"

Edwardo pressed the button, "How easy! There are two elements that are liquid at room temperature and they are mercury or Hg and bromine or Br. Mercury is the 80th element and has a charge of plus two, and bromine is the 35th element and it has a charge of minus one."

Blitz beeped, "That is correct. One point for Edwardo and Kog'Maw."

Edwardo turned to Kog'Maw and said, "You see? Aren't you glad I'm not Cho'Gath? He wouldn't have able to answer such a simple question like that!"

Kog'Maw didn't say anything. He just glared at Edwardo.

Orianna took down notes on a clip board as Blitz asked the next question, "Biology: True or false: Humans are directly related to monkeys."

Karma pressed the button, "False! Humans are not related to monkeys, they just share the same ancestor!"

Blitz beeped, "Correct. Next question. History: What caused Joan of Arc to lead the French army?"

Caitlyn pressed the button, "Didn't she think that she God told her to? Like she saw angels in one of her dreams and they told her that she needed to do it."

Blitz beeped, "Correct. Question number 4: Physics. Two balls with the exact same size and form are dropped at the same height. One of them weighs 50g while the other weighs 25g. Which one will hit the ground first?"

Veigar pressed the button, "EASY! The one that weighs 50g because it weighs more!"

Blitz beeped, "Incorrect, they will both hit the floor at the same time."

Veigar yelled, "NONSENSE!"

"Question 5: Astronomy. How many times does the Sun set and rise in the North and South pole?"

Leona smacked the button, "ONCE!"

Blitz beeped, "I see you're very passionate about astronomy… Your answer was correct. The points are currently:

Edwardo/Kog'Maw: 1

Caitlyn/Vi: 1

Karma/Lucian: 1

Veigar/Pix: 0

Leona/Diana: 1

Question 6: Mathematics. What is the square root of pi?"

Edwardo pressed the button, "1.772453850905516027298167483341"

Blitz beeped, "Correct. Next question: Psychology. What is the name of the fear of the number 666?"

Edwardo pressed the button again, "Child's play! Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia!"

"Correct. Next question: Geography. The Howling Marsh is situated where?"

Edwardo pressed the button… again, "EASY! On the East of Serpentine Sea and the Bubbling Bog!"


Vi's Confessional

"He's just showing off now!"

Orianna turned to Blitz, "There is no purpous in continuing this challenge. Edwardo and Kog'Maw have 4 points and there is only two more questions remaining. No matter who answers the following questions correctly, the outcome will always be the same."

Blitz agreed, "That is true. The winners are Kog'Maw and Edwardo. Congratulations."

Sona smiled and thanked Orianna and Blitz, "Thank you for your help. Edwardo and Kog, the two of you have immunity. The rest of you will be seen tonight."

Orianna turned to Blitz, "This experiment has been successful. Although our hypothesis was incorrect, I noticed that the carbon based life forms frowned more and more whenever Edwardo answered a question correctly. I found this odd because they only frowned when he answered a question."

Blitz beeped, "How odd… This is a perfect opportunity to continue our research."

"I agree. This will be extremely beneficial."

Later that night…Jinx groaned, "Ugh, I never want to drink coffee again…"

Sona smiled, "I'm happy to see you're back to normal, but can I ask you a favour?"

Jinx nodded, "Sure, what's wrong?"

"I am exhausted. This show is sucking the life out of me. Do you think we can take a break? Just for a while?"

Jinx grinned, "I'm so glad you feel the same way! I hear the beaches of Ionia are really nice this time of year! We just need to find people who can replace us as hosts for a while!"

Sona hugged Jinx, "Ugh! I love you! Thank you!"

Jinx turned to the contestants, "Anyways, fun fact! Blitz and Orianna are from now on contestants on the show!"

The contestants mumbled to one another.

Jinx continued, "Anyways, the teams that are safe are… Edwardo and Kog'Maw, Lucian and Karma, Caitlyn and Vi, Annie and Amumu, and Leona and Diana. Meaning Pix and Veigar have been eliminated!"

"WHAT!? HOW? NO! WE'RE EVIL GENIUSES! YOU CAN'T GET RID OF US! WE'LL BE BACK!" Pix and Veigar were dragged away by two really buff men.

Lulu looked around in confusion, "I can't believe I was forgotten in my team's own elimination. They only mentioned Veigar and Pix… Wait a second. They only mentioned Veigar and Pix! Technically, I HAVEN'T BEEN ELIMINATED! HAHA! SUCK IT, VEIGAR!"

While Lulu cheered, Sona turned to Jinx, "Do you hear something?"

Jinx shook her head, "I don't hear anything."

Lulu turned to them, "Are you fucking kidding me!? I'M RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU! HELLO!? LISTEN TO MEEEEEE!"

(I hope you enjoyed today's chapter! It's not my best but I think there were still some comedic moments. Anyways, don't forget to vote! Here are the remaining teams just in case you forgot. I know some of them weren't really relevant this chapter since it mostly only revolved around Edwardo and Kog'maw.)







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