LoL Survivor

Friendship is Shaving Pubic Hair

"Hello, Summoners! Welcome back to LoL Survivor!"

"I'm Sona and this is Jinx, and we're your hosts!"

Jinx cackled, "We have quite an interesting episode planned, but first, please welcome our four remaining teams!"

"First, we have, Amumu and Annie! Then, Caitlyn and Vi! And Edwardo and Kog'Maw! Lastly, we have Orianna and Blitz!"

Amumu spoke, "I can't believe we made it this far! We're in the final four!"

Caitlyn agreed, "Same goes for me. I can't believe that this idiot and I have made it to the final four either."

Vi cheered, "YEAH! I mean- HEY!"

Caitlyn chuckled, "I'm just messing with you, Vi."

Jinx rolled her eyes, "Oh look! I'm opening my box of care! Oh wait- IT'S EMPTY!"

Vi and Caitlyn quickly shut up.

Vi's Confessional

"As soon as this competition ends, I'm going to pummel her ugly, pale face!"

Jinx continued, "Anyways, if you guys weren't aware, Sona and I cleverly put you guys in teams in order to create more drama in this show. Obviously, since we're so smart, our plan worked. Duh!"

Sona giggled, "Since the start of the competition, you've been working with one person and you've completed many challenges together. After the amount of challenges you and your partner went through, we hope that you've managed to create a strong bond between you two. Which is exactly what this challenge is all about."

Jinx explained, "Here's out it'll go, dummies! We will ask each member of each team a series of yes or no questions that revolve around his or her teammate. If you get the question right, you get a point. The team with the least amount of points will be eliminated, so your goal is to not have the lowest amount of points. In other words, you do not need to have the most points, okay?"

Sona smiled, "We'll invite each team into a room one at a time and question each one! First, we'll start with Edwardo and Kog'Maw."

Edwardo and Kog'Maw

Kog'Maw and Edwardo sat uncomfortably on a chair.

Kog'Maw's Confessional

"We screwed. Edwardo know nothing."

Sona spoke, "Before we begin asking questions, I'm going to make it clear that we are considering Cho'Gath and Edwardo as two completely different people. So when we say Edwardo, we mean Edwardo."

Jinx asked, "Boring! First question: Was Edwardo truly his mom's favourite child?"

Kog'Maw replied emotionless, "No. Edwardo is no one favourite."

Jinx cheered, "One point!"

Edwardo was offended, "HEY! She liked me better than Cho! Don't even lie!"

Sona replied, "Not according to your mother…"

"Next question! Is Kog'Maw always hungry?"Edwardo answered, "No. How can someone always be hungry?"

Jinx made a buzzing noise, "BWAAAH! Wrong! He is always hungry."

"What?! How is that even possible!?" Edwardo screamed furiously.

Kog'Maw rolled his eyes, "Talking trees, living rocks, and weird banana-worshipping unicorn-donkey ladies, but you think me hungry impossible?"

Edwardo sighed, "Whatever. What's the next question?"

Sona asked, "Did Edwardo shave off his pubic hair in the shower and feed it to his hamster?"

Kog'Maw hesitated.

Kog'Maw's Confessional

"That was specific…"

"Ummm… No…?"

Jinx made the buzzing noise again, "BWAAAH! Incorrect! He did shave off his pubes in the shower and feed it to his hamster!"

Kog'Maw yelled, "WHAT!? YOU DID NOT! SHE KIDDING, RIGHT? RIGHT?!"Edwardo explained, "MY HAMSTER NEEDED FIBER, OKAY?!"

"WHAT WRONG WITH YOU!?"

Jinx and Sona both gave Edwardo a look, "You nasty."

Edwardo blushed, "What's the next one!?"

"This is the last one. Does Kog'Maw hate you?"

Edwardo paused.

Edwardo's Confessional

"I always though every one was very fond of me. However, I am not so sure with Kog'Maw. Oh well. It's not like he has a very good taste of people anyways. He likes Cho'Gath for goodness sake."

Edwardo replied, "Yes."

Jinx bwaahed, "BWAAAAH! Wrong!"

Kog'Maw argued, "WHAT?! YES I DO! DON'T LIE! ME HATE HIM! HE GROSS. ME HATE HIM! HATE! HATE! HATE!"

Edwardo cheered, "I KNEW IT! NO ONE CAN HATE ME! I. AM. PERFECT!"

Jinx giggled, "I was just messin' with ya', Edwardo. Kog'Maw most definitely does not like you."

Edwardo fell on his knees and yelled dramatically, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! BUT I'M PERFECT!"

"IN WHAT WORLD!?" Kog'Maw replied.

Edwardo mocked, "OH NICE ONE! I HAVEN'T HEARD THAT ONE SINCE I WAS IN FOURTH GRADE!""THAT MUST HAVE BEEN AGES AGO, GRANDPA!"

"GRANDMA!"

"GRANDPA!"

"GRANDMA!"

Jinx screamed, "JUST LEAVE BEFORE I SHOOT THE BOTH OF YOU!"

Caitlyn and Vi

Sona explained, "We'll ask you guys 4 questions—two questions for each one of you."

Caitlyn nodded, "Yeah, no problem."

Vi's Confessional

"I'm one hundred percent sure we're going to ace this."

Sona asked the first question, "Does Caitlyn bake her own cupcakes for her Yordle traps?"

Vi shook her head, "No. She buys them from Pantheon. She claims she makes them, I know for a fact that she can't cook or do anything in the kitchen to save her life."

Caitlyn blushed, "Yeah… I once put chilli powder instead of cinnamon on a cinnamon bun. It didn't taste really good…"

Jinx rolled her eyes, "It's just a yes or no answer. We don't need the details."

"Has Vi ever broken a bone?"

Caitlyn paused to think about it, "Yes, she has broken many bones, but none of them were hers."

Sona smiled, "That's right!"

Jinx groaned, "Oh my gosh! You guys are so boring! Get something wrong…. PLEASE!"

Vi shook her head, "No way! I'm in it to win it!"

Jinx rolled her eyes, "That is so cliché. Oh my god. Could you be any less unoriginal."

"I will pummel your face, you skinny bitch," Vi threatened.

Jinx threatened right back, "Not if I do it first."

Vi chuckled, "With those twig arms? Yeah right! Don't make me laugh."

"You underestimate my strength, blockhead."

Vi laughed, "Bring it!"

Jinx and Vi glared at each other, "1-2-3-4 I declare a thumb war!" Jinx and Vi grabbed each other's hands and began the thumb war. It was a very heated and long battle but eventually, it had to end.

Jinx cheered, "HAHA! I WIN!"

Vi snapped her fingers and frowned, "Aw shucks. It's not fair! You have a very slippery thumb!"

Jinx cackled, "It's called HAND LOTION!"

Caitlyn sighed, "Can we get on with it?"

Sona nodded, "Yes. Did Caitlyn ever date Jayce?"

Vi nodded, "Yes. However, Caitlyn ended it when she discovered that he was a cocky, ass cunt!"

Caitlyn shook her head, "That's not why I ended, Vi!"

Vi's Confessional

"Yeah, that's not why. I just really don't like Jayce."

Sona smiled, "You are correct. Here's the last question: Did Vi ever steal a tree?"

Caitlyn smiled, "Yes. She went over to the upper class houses and just plucked a tree out of the ground as if it were a root vegetable."

Vi grinned proudly, "It was an oak tree too."

Jinx sighed, "Ugh. You guys are so lame. Ugh. Good job. You guys got every question right. Yay."

Caitlyn and Vi celebrated.

Annie and Amumu

Annie and Amumu walked in the room holding hands.

Amumu's Confessional

"I feel really bad because I can't remember anything of my past, so I can't tell Annie any information about myself because I don't even know them. I really hope she doesn't get angry at me if that costs us the challenge…"

Annie's Confessional

"This is a really big problem. I haven't told a single thing to Amumu about my past or me. I DIDN'T EVEN THINK IT WAS IMPORTANT! Ugh! I really hope this doesn't cost us the challenge… He'll be so sad and I don't like seeing Amumu sad."

Sona sensed they were nervous and gave them a friendly smile, "Hey, guys! Just take a seat."

Annie and Amumu briefly looked at each other and sat down on the chairs.

Jinx asked the first question, "Alright! Are Annie's parents' names Jennifer and Gregori?"

Amumu had no clue, "Uhhh… Yes?"

Sona frowned, "No. Her parents' names are Gregori and Amoline."

Annie protested, "That's not fair! Not even I know their names!"

Sona questioned, "You don't know your own parents' names?"

Annie crossed her arms, "No! Why should I?"

"Because they're your parents?" Sona suggested.

Annie laughed, "Parents? Ha! My own parents are afraid of me. They left me in the League of Legends for Pete's sake! I haven't seen them in years."

Sona frowned, "Oh, Annie, I'm so sorry."

Annie smiled, "Whatever. Who needs 'em? I got Tibbers and Amumu and that's all I need! Let's get on to the next question."

Sona's Confessional

"How can she be so relaxed about this? Why isn't she sad? She's like 8 years old?"

"Alright then. Did Amumu have a dog?""A dog? Who wants a dog when they can have a bear?"

Jinx sighed, "She's asking if he had a dog. Not if you want a dog, Annie."

Annie answered, "Then, no. He did not have a dog."

Jinx grinned, "BWAAAH! WRONG! He had a dog!"

Amumu smiled, "I did?"

Jinx nodded, "Yes! He was called Scruff."

Amumu's smile grew bigger, "Was he really scruffy?"

Jinx raised her shoulders, "I don't really know. I would assume so."

"That's so cool!"

Annie pointed out, "Still not as cool as a bear though…"

Amumu giggled, "A flaming bear too!"

"Did Annie meet Tibbers in the Voodoo Lands?"

Amumu nodded, "Yes! She did!"

"BWAAH! She did not meet Tibbers in the Voodoo Lands. She met him in the Petrified Forests outside of the Voodoo Lands."

"Oh."

Sona gave a comforting smile before she asked the next question, "Don't worry! You'll get the last question. Has Amumu cried approximately 100 million litres of water?"

Annie stared blankly, "Uhhhhh… That sounds like a lot of water… And Amumu cries a lot so… Yes?"

"Actually. That's wrong too. He's cried more than just 100 million litres of water."

Amumu was astonished, "Wow. Do I get an award?"

"No."

Amumu sighed, "Aww… I never win anything…"

Blitzcrank and Orianna

Blitz beeped, "This is will be an easy victory."

Orianna agreed, "We are already informed in our entire existence because we exchange information discs every day."

Jinx sighed as they walked in, "Ugh, you two. This won't be fun. You probably already know everything. Let's get this done with. Was Blitz built by Professor Stanwick Pididly?"

Orianna replied, "No."

Sona congratulated them, "Congrats. You two are safe!"

Blitz beeped, "What? I was led to believe that we would be asked many questions."

Jinx explained, "Annie and Amumu are currently losing because they got no points. So you just need to earn one point to be safe."

Orianna nodded, "I see. That is a very efficient way to use your time. I applaud you."

Jinx bowed and smiled as Orianna clapped, "Thank you! Thank you!"

Later that night…

Sona announced the losers, "Annie and Amumu, I'm really sorry but you two have been eliminated."

Annie stood still as Amumu gave her a hug, "Annie! I can't believe we lost! This is all my fault."

When he got no reply, he pulled away and saw that Annie was in tears, "Annie? What's wrong?"

Annie cried, "I wanted to win."

"We all do, Annie, but we lost and we need to move on. I would know! I lose all the time."

Annie shook her head, "No, Amumu. I need to win."

Amumu was confused, "Now I'm lost."

"I need to win because I need to get my mommy and daddy back."

Amumu pointed out, "I thought you didn't care."

Annie sobbed, "Of course I care, silly! I was just hoping that if we won, I could just wish that they had never abandoned me! I'm so fed up with the League of Legends anyways! I never wanted to be here. I'm only 8 years old yet I'm being forced to fight other people! And I can't make any friends because everyone thinks that I'm scary and bad! Even my parents are afraid of me…"

Amumu hugged her and tried to cheer her up with a joke, "You know, this isn't usually how it goes. I'm always the one crying."

Annie smiled as she wiped her wet face, "Yeah. I can't believe you cried over 100 million litres of water, Amumu."

Amumu grinned, "There's nothing I do better than crying."

Annie shook her head, "That's not true! You may be good at crying but you're even better at being a great friend."

Everyone awed, "That's so cute! My heart is breaking! I ship it!"

Amumu blushed, "Aw shucks…"

Annie held Amumu's hand and smiled, "Let's go."

"Friends forever?"

Annie nodded, "Friends forever."

(NOOOO! I was Exactly 20 minutes late on posting up this chapter. It's now the 6th of August! I was so close! Dx UGH. Anyways, I'm sorry if it seems a little rushed at the end. I had to go to a concert and I tried my best to complete it by the end of the day but I couldn't. I hope you enjoyed it nonetheless. Make sure you vote because there are only 3 more teams left. So every vote is crucial! Have a nice night and… Uhhh… yeah. Thanks for reading!)

Continue Reading Next Chapter

About Us

Inkitt is the world’s first reader-powered publisher, providing a platform to discover hidden talents and turn them into globally successful authors. Write captivating stories, read enchanting novels, and we’ll publish the books our readers love most on our sister app, GALATEA and other formats.