What is the real answer to the question?
At the top of my roof, I gazed at the stars, wondering if Lucy made it out safe. “Of all the people I had to fall in love with, why did it have to to be her. The girl who meet me while I was the normal me. .... Luce....” A sigh escaped my lips in the open night.
The sky was beautiful to me, and it really only made me think of Lucy more when I looked at it. Why am I looking at the stars. It’s just too much on me right now, yet, I am drawn to look at them. I feel like.....I can at least.... feel her presents here.
Letting my mind wonder to all the events that happened after I had saved her as I closed my eyes and imagined it all in play again.
I stared down at the ground where the police officers stood. They were investigating the building that i had ran to the top of. I have to get out of here. I thought as I turned around fully to see if there was a near by building to jump to.
To my luck, there was one near by that had a lower roof. I just had to jump farther than I normally would. Here goes nothing but possibly my life. Wouldn't’ do me much better if I got caught by the cops.
Taking a run, then using all my force to jump across the big gap between the buildings, I landed safely on the other side and climbed down the ladders at the side of the building.
Checking my surroundings, I made sure no one would be able to see me. No one in sight. Good. Quickly and quietly, I went around the corner of the block towards my house.
Finally away from the scene about a block away, I let out a sigh of relief, but didn’t totally let my guard down. My pace did quicken again though, as I realized that it was getting dark, and if anyone caught me past curfew time, I might get in trouble.
Something fluffy and blue was suddenly caught out of the corner of my eye. Happy! And as I approached him I noticed he was hurt in a few places and carrying..... “Happy! What are you doing out here! I was wondering where you went earlier when you left out the door this morning! You made me worry!” ....my white scarf I had given to Lucy that night.
Scooping him up, I took the stained scarf in my hands as well, inspecting it for any tears or major stains that I would have to get out right away. “Well, S**t.” I saw a small blood stain on the end of the scarf, making me bite my lip and cringe, realizing whose blood it probably was.
The kitten meowed as I looked down at him. He has a small cut on his belly. Better get it bandaged up as soon as possible. Meanwhile, though.... I ripped a piece of my shirt off and wrapped it around his used to be pure white belly. “You’ll be fine. I’ll fix you up as soon as we get home.”
Petting him, I began to walk. What am I going to do now....? A sigh escaped my lips. I remembered Lucy, and how she acted during the time I saved her. She went as far as getting revenge on me by kissing my cheek! I mean...I did deserve it and all, but still. That thought only reminded me also of the time I had kissed her in the rain.
My first kiss was with her. Why exactly? Well, now I know why, but back then, I thought I was crazy for doing such an act. Letting out yet another sigh, practically simultaneously right after the last one, I looked forward to see we were already in the forest of deciduous trees. Man, was I, or more like am I, weird or what.
Pulling up my left hand that I had on the white scarf, I let a depressed frown spread across my face. I had given this to Luce, and as far as I am concerned, she was planning to keep it. .... I think. The thought of her not liking it at all and planning to just throw it away flew through my mind. Don’t think that way, Natsu!
I shook my head in irritation, as if to flick the thought out of my mind, with no avail. No matter what, I have to return this or give it back to Lucy! If she doesn’t want it, she can just throw it away for all i care! I mean...that would break my heart, but..... “No matter what!” I said, approaching my house.
Happy just looked at me, and meowed. He looked a little confused, but I ignored it entering into the house.
Soon after, I cleaned Happy up and put a fresh cloth around his wound. “There.” I said setting him down on my hammock and opening the window. “Now you get some rest.”
It only took him a little bit to fall into a deep sleep, so I left the house quietly, grabbing the white scarf to bring along with me to clean at the spring.
An hour of the night slowly withered away as I tried to wash the scaly scarf, only succeeding in cleaning off and fixing most of the minor stains in it, but not the blood one. “Great.” I let a sigh fall through my lips. “I tried so hard, but I will have to get it cleaned later.”
With that, I walked to my house, climbing to the roof as soon as I got there, not wanting to leave the stars just hanging there alone in the sky.
Right after finishing my thoughts, I opened my eyes, and one point in which I was saving Lucy popped in my head again. The moment right before she left though the double doors, safe, for what I had hoped in my thoughts, at least for I didn’t see her after that. ‘If you really meant what you said that night, you better stay alive!’ Suddenly it crossed my mind what that could have meant. No....she wasn’t awake. Or at least that was what I thought. Could she overheard me? I let it sink in completely for a moment for once in a lifetime. No. I don’t think she did, otherwise there would of been her yelling at me for ‘lying’, knowing her as much as I do.
I looked down at the ground filled with grass, now covered in morning dew. I then realized that morning was coming soon and I had school the next day. I’ll just skip today. No use in going, when i know that Luce will be there. Even if I didn’t want to admit it, I knew that I was avoiding her. Especially after what had happened when I saved her.
Jumping off, I bent my knees as i landed on the ground to absorb the reaction of hitting the surface, only to slip into the wet, damp mud and grass . I sighed, not getting up as Happy upsettingly jumped through the window.
“I know, Happy.” My voice almost a whisper as I said it. “I know. I need to cheer up, and go to school, and have a happy life. Then fall in love again, and kiss her, and hug her until she says that she loves me too. Then...” I went on and on about what I wanted my life to be. Even if it only helps a little to vent on what I really want, it helps. As I spoke, I let my mind wandered off to what it would be like if I could be with Lucy and have a normal life.
Soon after finishing, I smiled. I truly smiled for the first time in a while. Well, the first time when I was alone with Happy, that is. The only other times I truly seemed to smile like that was when I was with Lucy. Lucy is the one. I thought. The next thing I knew I spoke aloud some simple yet, sincere words. “If I ever get a normal life, Luce will be mine forever.”
After thinking about that for a minute, I laughed at myself. Happy cocked his head to the side like a confused dog. “I’m a bit possessive of Lucy, aren't I, Happy.” I continued to laugh, only making thing better for me.
“Come on. Let’s get inside. We both need some rest, and I am not ready to got to school quite yet.” An image of Lucy popped in my head, remembering why I truly wasn’t going to school today. My smile faded again. Well.... I opened the door, entering; Happy limping along next to me as we stepped inside. ....It was good while it lasted. .......my smile that is.
Laying down, I looked at the ceiling for quite a while. Happy fell asleep like it was nothing while I just stayed there with absolutely nothing that wasn’t going through my mind. “Why....” I said aloud, my voice resounding throughout the house.
My mind kept coming back to Lucy. Every Time it strayed, it came back very soon after. I am so different than before. Is it possible, though. I thought about how she had already been attacked. Now that I think about it....wouldn’t it be better to stay by her side to protect her, rather then not even be her friend.
Jolting up in my hammock, nearly waking up Happy in his nearby bed he had laid on, I fell of it. “Ouch....what is with me lately. I am so distracted.” Rubbing my head, a yawn so wide, it made my eyes have crocodile tears came out of my mouth. Smacking my now dry lips with my tongue, I pouted. What should i do? I don’t really even know anymore what is right and what it wrong with this world.
Looking back at the snoring cat, I let a slight smirk spread across my cheeks as I saw him sleeping. Cute. I thought, only resorting, yet again, to Luce. Just like Lucy, but then again....I began a battle with myself, because i was so bored and desperate to get my mind off of all the things that had happened lately.
Only five minutes into the conversation did I get up and decide i needed some more fresh air then i was getting. I pulled the covers I had over myself earlier off of my the ground and swung it across my shoulder.
My feet dragged against the ground. The second I got outside, I flopped right on the ground. “Ahhhh.....” The sun was practically up past the trees, creating a warm heat against my whole body that was now sprawled out on the grass and covered by the covers.
Already, the sky showed a slight blue hue, with a few clouds dancing in the sky. I saw a flock of birds fly across it like it was a normal sight. Rarely at my house do you get days like these where the weather is practically perfect.
Folding up my knees and feet to where the formed a pyramid on the ground, I pulled my arms above my head, to cover the sun from hitting my eyes. I felt my eyes grow heavier by the second.
Not even trying to resist, I felt my them close completely, the warmth filling my whole body. Finally, my arms completely collapsed onto my forehead the few inches it had left, along with my eyes relaxing into a deep feeling.
I drifted off to sleep, practically unknown to myself, completely lost in the thoughts that I had of Lucy, as they entered in my dreams, mixing and mingling with the wonder and hope that was left to wonder. Was it ‘really’ hopeless for me to want me to be with Luce? Could I really not protect her, or could I be there for her?
What was the real answer?