Natsu's side of the tale
Frustrated with myself, I slammed my fist into my hammock, which was totally bent up as it was, making it fall down from where it hung. With it, I fell down because of my loss of balance.
“S**t.” I cursed at myself, as I got up, examining my leg, which was hurting at the moment, for any signs of it being hurt bad. Luckily, I didn’t have anything.
I sighed. Calm down, Natsu. I know you are irritated with yourself for deciding this, but there is nothing you can do to take it back.
Realizing how mad I had just gotten, I hung the hammock back up. Finally I was calmed down. It did hurt a lot, though, for myself to have to deal with this sort of pain I hadn’t felt before.
“Mrrrrrrow.” I looked over my shoulder to see a sad Happy behind me. Oh, the poor thing. Walking over to him, I gently scratched his head, under his chin, and his back. 'Purrr, Purrr' He made sounds of delight.
Getting back up, I smiled. “Thanks, Happy. You just made me feel a little better.” I gave a gentle smile and turned around to grab my clothes, getting dressed. If only my life didn’t have to be this way. Then I could love anyone I wanted without having to hurt them. I went over and grabbed my white scarf, stuffing it in my pocket for good luck like I normally do.
What would it be like....if I didn’t have to be this way. As I looked in the mirror, my mind went off to the world I wished I could have.
“Luce!” I grabbed her hand. “Please. I love you. Do you not understand?!” She looked at me and smiled.
“Yeah. I do understand. Thank you for everything you have done. I love you too.” She leaned in to kiss me.
“MROW!” Happy’s meow caught my attention. Snap! Right at the good part, too.
I put my black scarf on as I looked at the clock. “Oh, No! I am going to be late! Thanks Happy! If you didn’t take me out of my day dream about Lucy, then I would of been waaaaay late.” Grazing the bottom of the cat's chin, I got back up and left running out the door.
Huffing my way to school, I arrived in a nick of time. I quickly stood up tall and got ready to start the ‘Rebel Natsu’ act I did as I walked inside the school. Here I go again. Better act cool. Well, to the best of my ability that is.
That was how my day started. Some unexpected thing happened at and after lunch. It all started when Luce walked over to my empty table at lunch.
“What do you want? Leave me alone.” I could feel my face boiling to a red hot color. Not from being angry, but from being nervous around her. I can’t give up the act now. Even if it is Luce. Yeah. That’s right. Even though I said that, I had to bite my lip because it hurt my heart to say that to her.
She didn’t speak for a moment. Once she did, she sounded so generous, kind and happy all at the same time, it was hard to turn away from her. “I wanted to be friends, even if you don’t think that I am your friend.”
It was even more painful to get it out, but I managed to speak to her with a harsh tone that got her attention. “Leave me alone now. I don’t want to talk to a girl like you ever again.” Why, Luce. It’s already hurting enough. I mean, I had to fight for you that once to keep you safe. I just don’t want you getting hurt. Why are you making me do this?
I could hear the irritation in Lucy’s voice as she spoke a little louder. “Look, I was trying to be nice. Couldn’t you ever be the person I meet on that first day!” She was almost yelling at the end.
For a while, we did not speak. I could not find the words to say. I felt really stunned and shot at. It’s like a harpoon.....no....a cannon was shot right through my heart. I didn’t want to do this, because it really hurts her, but....but.... “Why? Why won’t you listen to me? And don't’ you ever bring up that day we meet. It was never me. You just caught me on one of my odd days, that even I don’t understand. Now leave me alone.”
I wanted to hide in a hole or a dark corner where Luce wouldn't’ be able to see or hear me, but I just could not at the moment. Suddenly, I could hear her getting up real quick and walking away from me.
So bad. I wanted to chase after her so bad and say I was sorry, but I couldn’t do that. I could never face the facts if she ever got hurt by anyone else. As I silently sat there, the bell rang.
I sat there, knowing not what I would do next until someone grabbed me by the shoulder of my jacket. “Hey, you b**ch! Let me go!” Looking over the hand on my shoulder to see who it was, I noticed it was Gajeel. “I said let me go!”
Because I was hurt too much mentally, I couldn't’ do anything at the moment even though I wanted to get away. “I need to have a word with you Pink head.”
Something in my mind went off, besides the realization that he wouldn't let me go. “It’s not pink, it’s salmon! And my names Natsu, ya hear me!” I absolutly hate people who mistake my hair color for pink. I mean, it is so obvious that it is Salmon!
He through me, causing myself to slam against the wall and catch a bit of shock from the hard, rock bricks against my body as I coughed a bit. “Whatever salamander.” I gritted my teeth as I hear him call me that.
“Whatever, you F***ker. Now what do you want, Gajeel.” I dusted myself off while giving him a glare.
He scowled back. “You mean, you don’t know what happened to Lucy? I thought you of all people who hurt her would know what happened to her after you decided to say all those horrible things to her. Then you went and told her off when she was just trying to be nice to you. Do you not understand anything about the girl!” He attempted to punch me, but I dodged his hand.
“What about Luce? If I could do anything about it, I would! I understand what I am doing! Now buzz off!” I also hated when people buy into others problems. I’m doing all that I can here, ya know!
Trying to punch me again, and yet again missing, I could see tick marks forming. “After you hurt her, she was crying, hiding in the corner under the table because she is scared of Lightning! And what do you do to apologize?! You just flat out tell her you are not her friend!”
My eyes widened at that moment after hearing that. “Lucy....was crying....?” This time when he swung, he hit me and I slammed down on the ground, making a searing pain go throughout my body as I coughed up a little blood that was pooling slightly in my mouth. Even with that, nothing could cope with what I was feeling in my heart at the moment. “Luce.....was...crying...”
I looked up at the sky, with nothing else to say. I was frozen. It was as if time itself had stopped to make me live this moment of realization on forever. Lucy...I.......didn't know. How could I be so mean to you. I can’t believe myself. I’m such a horrible person.
“I guess you get the point. Now go and apologize some how. If I don’t hear about it soon, then I be sure to teach you another lesson. See ya later. Salamander. Gehe.” I could hear him walk away from me.
It’s been a while since I have been hit so easily. Normally, I give a fight, but I am still in such a shock. I didn’t think that I hurt her to the extent to crying. Slowly getting up, I rubbed the back of my head. Ouch. He hit me pretty good, too.
Now....how am I going to apologized to Luce. I feel so bad for what I have done, I must do something.... It took me a few minutes, but I came up with a solution. I got it! I will give her a day of the normal Natsu she knew when we first meet. I mean, it’s not like it will do any harm, since no one knows the real me is the other side of me.
I did a simple smile. It did hurt a bit, but in the end, I went back to class doing the same ‘Bad boy Natsu’ act I do almost every day. I couldn’t wait until I got the opportunity to speak to her with the side she liked better. Or atleast I believed she liked my ‘normal Natsu’ side of me.
After school, I decided to wait for her,but before I could wait for her, I saw her walking away out of the school and I chickened out when I saw her. She looked stunning. Wow. Shes so beautiful. Just like the day I meet her. She’s always beautiful, though. Even if she doesn’t know it.
I stared at the door until I finally got a hold of myself. Walking home, I cursed to myself again for not speaking to her.
As I walked through the door to my house, I heard my only phone go off, and the cat meowing for attention at the same time. “Alright, alright. Just give me a second, Happy.” I grabbed the phone and spoke into it.
“Hello?” For a second, no one answered.
Suddenly, I heard someone speak as I went to set the phone back down. “Hey, Natsu. How’s it been with the school. Been a while, hasn’t it. Sorry I haven't talked to you in such a long time, but no one will ever let me speak when I am at Juvenile school. It’s horrible.”
For a minute, I did not understand who it was on the phone, until he mentioned Juvenile School. “Ohhhhh!” I spoke out in realization. “Hey, Gray. How’s it been. I am sure you want to have another duel with me, don’t you. Well, I am kind of not in the mood, sorry.”
I went to hang up the phone, but Gray got my attention with what he said next. “Wait! Wait! Not this time! Don’t hang up! I wanted to invite you to Jellal and Erza’s marriage ceremony!”
Pausing in surprise, I felt my face go to confusion. “What? Since when are Jellal and Erza say they were getting married. Didn't’ they just start dating not too long ago?” Shesh. That went fast. I mean, they just meet not too long ago, it seems.
“Nope. They were dating even before we knew about it. But I just wanted to let you know that I will go ahead and pick you up, if you want to go. I don’t have anyone else besides Juvia with me, and I kind of want a bro to go with me for once. Sure Juvia is nice, but, please don’t tell her this, she can be a bit clunky at times.” Out of nowhere, I heard Juvia’s voice come through the phone, but quieter. “Juvia is not clingy!” “Juvia! I didn't see you there. I better get going, Natsu. I’ll pick you up soon. Juvia! Stop! I already told you to not do that to me I mean com-”
The phone hung up. “Well. Guess I am going. Got nothing better to do.” I sighed, flopping back into my haymitch. I think I will take a short nap. These cloths should be okay.
After falling asleep, Gray barged in only soon after. “Let’s go! Juvia is getting into a freak, and I don’t need that right now! We have to be early!” He grabbed me by my arm, fully waking me up.
“Ouch! At Least let me get up! Shesh, Icy eyes!” Jumping up, I started walking out the door and saw we were taking a cart. “Great. Just what I needed.”
Getting in we all left to the wedding. The whole way was miserable as usual. It reminded me of the day Luce and I meet. We rode the cart at the time too, but I was in a bad mood.
After finally arriving, I jumped out in relief. “Ah. Much better.” I looked back to see a little tuft of blue under where I was siting. “Happy. Did you come with me? You can’t do this. Now I want you to go home.”
The little cat jumped up in surprise that he had been spotted, but then turned around and hopped up onto the seat of the cart. “There you go. I will see you later.”
The cart went off with him in it and I turned back around to see that Gray and Juvia were talking to Jellal and Erza already.
I went and quickly joined in. “Oi, Gray, Juvia, Erza, Jellal! How you doing!” Suddenly, I heard a crashing of glass on the ground. I looked over to see where it was coming from.
Upon looking over, I saw the unexpected. Lucy Heartfilia in a beautiful dress. It went with her just perfect. I stared at her as she crouched down to pick up the glass. She is so beautiful. I keep saying this to myself, but I just can’t get over the fact.
“Lucy. You want help?” Levi and Erza crouched down too to pick up the glass. “Don’t mind Lucy, guys. Everyone does it every once in a while. No big deal.” I was snapped out of my head with that, because I suddenly realized I was staring. Snap. I have to be more careful.
“Ouch.” I could barely hear it, because it was so quiet, but when I looked over, I saw that Lucy was examining her palm. When she turned it a bit, I could see that she had cut herself across it.
Before I could ask if she was okay, she had already grabbed her pieces of glass and sped away. Great. Now I need to hurry up and follow her to make sure she is okay.
“I am going for a short walk, guys. Don’t worry, though. I will be back in a flash so to speak.” Waiting for a response, I realized that no one heard me, so I just left.
Slowly following behind, I watched as she went a very odd way. Why is she taking this way. Isn’t she going to clean her cut with something? I continued to watch her as I followed closer than before.
Soon, we arrived at a river bed that I had never seen. Kneeling down, she put her palm in the river to clean it. Oh. She didn’t want the attention. That makes sense, I guess.
I stared as I slowly walked up behind her to where I was practically a foot away from her. Watching her more, she put a white cloth around her injury and put white gloves on her hands. When she stretched and got up, she almost hit me.
About to turn around leave her alone, I was put in a shock a bit when she got up and turned around so fast. “Natsu!” I took a small step back, but it surprised her too, as she had jumped backwards and was groaning in pain. “What are you doing here?”
I watched as she just sat there waiting for an answer. “Be more careful.I was invited by Gray. He’s an old buddy of mine. Now back to you. How much was it that you have hurt yourself now? Including your cut on your palm....” I need to see it again. To make sure she is fine. It’s the right thing to do, plus I am bothered a bit by it.
After staring at her and the gloves covering the cut she received, I walked back over to her, closing most of the gap between us. “Let me see.” Gently, I took off the glove she wore and unwrapped the cloth covering it.
Again, staring at the cut for a moment I was surprised. It looks like it is swelling. I hope she understands that and cleans it better when she gets home, so it does not get infected. I spoke my last thought out loud by accident. “It looks like it hurt.”
This could be your chance, Natsu. You have to ask. “I want to talk to you later. Meet me after the marriage ceremony. I need to talk to you. Please.” Wrapping it back up, I got up and walked away, leaving her without another word to me.
After finally getting back to the marriage ceremony, I went over to congratulate them, since I had missed them actually getting married. I did feel bad about missing it, but I had to think about what I would do for Lucy.
After that, though, I walked straight to the entrance/exit way of the park. I waited there for a few minutes until I saw Luce jogging over to me. When she finally was next to me, she was panting a bit while she spoke. “Natsu. Are you okay?”
I understood that I had to make it realistic, but it was going to be hard to do it just right, and also get the response I wanted. Here it goes. “Please. Don’t make it harder then it is for me.” I didn't’ know what else to say, but I could see her face out of the corner of my eye past my hoodie that i wore at the moment over my head.
She looked a little sad too then when she spoke. “Natsu, how am I making something hard for you? Even thought you say that you are not the way you were the first day we meet, and all, I believe that a part of him is still in you.” It’s just what I had to day, but I can make my deal off of this...I hope.
I mean...it will be hard to not talk to her for such a long time after I show her my real self. It will be so hard that I... I felt tears swell up in my eyes. It was so sudden, I just had to cope with it, even if it was so girly, it was unimaginable. If she saw the tears, though, It would hurt me even more.
After calming myself a bit, without wiping my eyes, because that would be a dead give away, if she didn't’ notice already, I gave her my deal. “Okay. I will make a deal. But first, sorry for what I said. I really do have a good reasons, and it would be best if we weren't friends, it doesn’t mean we will be friends, but I will meet up with you saturday. I will be nice and show you the other side of me you like so much.” Lucy....why do I have to do this when it hurts so much.... I turned my head a little bit more away from her, hoping she wouldn’t catch the few tears that fell down my face.
“But...” I went on. “The deal is, that after I hang out with you that day, you can’t talk to me, until I say it is okay. Please, understand. We really can’t be friends, or anything more, right now.” Before looking her way, I decided I should just give in and wipe my tears away, to conceal the pain.
I really...really....hope she didn’t see me crying. “Now, I guess I could give you a proper smile, though.” Gathering up my confidence, I faced her, and pulled off my hoodie, revealing a smile that I hadn’t done in what seemed like forever. The last time I smiled this way....it was before I had to change the way I am.
“It’s a deal.” She grabbed my head, which took me by surprise, and pulled me along with her. “But I have my wager, too.” She smiled, making me curious.
“What is it?” She didn’t answer for a bit.
“How about you do something for me that way it will be memorable, okay. I don’t want to forget the moment, even if it kills me.” Lucy laughed a bit, making me smile lightly. I am glad she wants to make a long memory, like I do.
For a while, I just let her pull me around, without a care in the world, until she stopped and let go of my hand. “Oh, sorry. I didn’t mean to pull you along. I guess it doesn't’ matter. You could come in and visit for a minute. Would you like to?” When she just smiled, I liked it yet again. Can this day get any better?
I was in my thought, until I realized something. Wait. What! She is asking me into her house! “Yeah, sure. I mean, I was going to invite myself in anyways.”
As I watched her, I laughed, because her face had turned red. “Natsu!” Looking upset, she crossed her arms and pouted, also letting me into her house.
When I got in, I examined the room. It was surprising how girly it looked, plus there were boxes everywhere. “Wow. Good size house.” I forgot. She did just move into town, didn't’ she. So the day that we meet was she first moved in.
I looked around more, but one thing caught my attention more than the others. I pointed towards a picture that stood out of all the pictures that covered the entire wall. Who are those? Are those your parents?”
Turning my head, I noticed that she was trying to fake a smile. “Yeah. My mom, she used to take care of me so much, and my dad did too, but i the end, I am living alone.” My eyes widened as I saw a tear stream down her face, ever so gently.
“Luce, are you okay? Here.” Lucy. I don’t know why I am doing this. I mean, I don’t really know what else to do. I do like you and all, but I have never been this compelled to be so caring to anyone. I was embracing her in my arms, hoping it would make her feel better. “If you want, you can tell me anything. I don’t mind.”
She did not speak for a moment, but soon after she sat down, and patted her hand on the bed, implying to sit down next to her. “Yeah, I guess I will tell you.” I could see that tears were still falling on her face, but even so, it had slowed down a lot with my help.
When I was comfortable, she started to speak her whole life story, in an extremely simple version, from how she put it. “It all started after my mother died....” Little by little, she told me the story. For a moment in the middle, she even stopped.
It wasn't’ until I got her attention that she finished it up. “Sorry. After that my dad basically abandoned me. Even after he told me he would stay, he left.”
I gave her a gentle smile, as she tried to smile at me. “You want me to make you feel better?” Happy, she looked at me, gazing with her eyes. Her eyes look like a piece of milk chocolate. That has always been a favorite of mine. They sparkle so much from the tears she shed too. I love ‘em. I like her...and her personality.
“How can you do that? I mean, you already did enough.” As she continued to stare, I answered her.
Before talking to her, though, I got up and looked back at her. “If you can last till saturday, I will show you. Until then, though, you have to trust me. Okay. I will be leaving. You take care.”
I walked over to the window and opened it up, then climbed up getting ready to jump out. “Natsu, don’t!” After landing on the ground, I looked up to see that Lucy was looking and leaning out the window. “Way to go and worry me!”
I started to walk home, laughing. Oh, lucy. How much you make me smile. If you keep this up, I may just not be able to keep the act up. Then what would happen to me and you. You especially.
It took me a while to get home, but I finally did. “Hey, Happy. I’m home.” The cat came scampering up to me like a dog. “You goofy cat.” I leaned down, petting him under the chin, then got up.
“Better put my stuff away.” I closed the door behind me, hanging up my jacket. Something seems off. Examining my jacket with my eyes, I remembered that one of the only of a couple things had been taken with me. “That’s right.”
I reached into the jackets pocket, only to find it wasnt’ there. I started to laugh. “Okay, okay. The other pocket.” Reaching into that pocket, I came to realize that it wasnt’ there either.
“Maybe I didn’t bring it with me, and am just imagining it.” I started tearing up the place, looking for my very special thing. I began to get stressed, until I just gave up.
“S**t” I combed my hand through my hair, feeling very stressed out. “Where did I leave my F***ing scarf.”