She felt that Sesshomaru has indirectly made it clear to her that his visits are purely official and that she better not keep her hopes high for whatsoever reason. Rin’s bright face, sparkling eyes and dazzling smile faded noticeably for an unguarded moment. Then she quickly composed herself and nodded in agreement.
Then she ordered the servants to escort Sesshomaru and Jaken to their chambers and to inform them once Master Kenji returned. Ideally she should have escorted Sesshomaru by herself, while a servant escorted Jaken…. or at least that was what both Rin and Sesshomaru had inwardly looked forward to.
Rin turned and began walking away.
Something is not right….. Sesshomaru couldn’t bear the mystery the girl is exhibiting.
“Uh-Rin…..” Sesshomaru called.
Rin turned instantly and faced Sesshomaru. Some sort of hope sparkled in her eyes.
“…….I presume, Master Kenji has given you the details of this Mission….” Sesshomaru managed to say. What else is possibly there for him to discuss with her, that too in public, in front of the servants? He secretly hoped that it will serve as a good starter for a long conversation between them.
Is that all you care about, Lord Sesshomaru?! Those sparkles of hope extinguished, but she nodded eagerly, “Yes, Milord”
Their eyes were locked for very few moments. Ideally Sesshomaru should have continued the conversation. At least Rin should have attempted take their chat forward, seeing his silence.
But Rin broke the lock as she turned and left. She couldn’t bear it any longer. She just wanted to cry her heart out.
Both Sesshomaru and Jaken were confused.
She must…. be exhausted…. Sesshomaru tried to console himself, as he was waiting in his chamber.
Rin was on her bed; tears staining her pillows…. She knew too well of how hopeless her feelings for him were. There was no possibility for their wedding alliance. Still she keeps sheltering false hopes. She just hated herself for that.
She immediately dried her eyes and went to her mother’s chambers. Her mother, Misao was laying peacefully on bed. The mother’s eyes lightened up upon seeing her daughter.
“Mother…..” Rin began.
Mother’s face wrinkled in confusion, as she noticed the depression in her daughter. She gestured her eyebrows and head questioningly, asking Rin what was wrong.
“Oh! It was nothing mother…. Just had a nightmare…..” Rin lied.
Misao relaxed at that.
“How…. how will you be without me?” Rin asked.
Misao’s eyes widened and face paled in alarm. Her eyes began watering as her mouth fell open; she shook her head desperately, not wanting Rin away from her.
Rin’s eyes shed tears in return and she hugged her mother to ease her anxiety, “Don’t worry mother…. I will always be there to take care of you….. I will never leave your side…..”
After her mother fell asleep, Rin hardened her tender heart. These feelings will not last long…. I will wear them out in due course of time…. It might take long. But better late than never…. Till then I will be strong not to fall for this illusory emotion called ‘love’…..
Meanwhile, Sesshomaru was in his chambers, working on documents he had compiled for the preliminary stage of implementation. He concentrated in his work for some time. Then…. he sighed and quickly left his chamber. He explored most places in the mansion except Rin’s quarters.
It was too clear that Rin had imprisoned herself in her quarters. He got annoyed. What is with this woman? Why is she hiding in her quarters? Her mother would not be in need of her for that long….
Afternoon came. Sesshomaru and Jaken lunched alone. The servants were indeed hospitable. But Sesshomaru only felt as if he had been ignored and neglected. She must be feeding her mother now…. Although it was a logical explanation, Sesshomaru couldn’t help his suspicion that she’s avoiding him. She had always seemed eager to be in his presence. If she was that eager as she acted, she should have come and met him at least once during noon; or at least joined him for lunch.
Sesshomaru felt that her words and actions were entirely contradictory. She said,“ It’d be a great honour if I get to see you again”. But When he actually came for her, she doesn’t see him. Obscurity….. Hmph! Women!..... Who the hell is she? I just don’t care! Sesshomaru scoffed in irritation.
Kenji finally arrived; he seemed to be in the highest of spirits. He welcomed his guests and all of them settled themselves in his study.
Sesshomaru stated the purpose of his visit. Kenji was excited that the mission is to enter its preliminary phase.
“Master Kenji……. Since you are not one to take important decisions without the consultation of your ‘best advisor’ (A/N: Sesshomaru is so pissed off, he avoids referring Rin by her name), I daresay, we may commence our discussion in her presence” Sesshomaru said in his usual monotone. Well, that was the best he could muster to somehow, drag Rin to his presence. The other two male were a bit surprised for a moment. Only Jaken understood the hidden intention.
Kenji smiled and nodded his agreement. Rin was sent for immediately.
Sound of footsteps outside the room raised by every moment and it was rhythmic to the heart beats of Sesshomaru which also raised by the moments. Rin entered. Sesshomaru did his best to sustain his composure. The smiling Rin greeted all men and calmly settled by her father.
Both Rin and Sesshomaru avoided meeting each other’s face which puzzled Jaken. Strange….. Usually both will be too keen to steal glances at each other…. If circumstances permit, they’ll be bolted to each other’s gaze, as if they’re in a different world….. Now, they’re avoiding each other!..... Did they have some kind of fight?
During the discussion, when Sesshomaru was addressing an issue, Rin was giving him relevant details of the village. It was only at that moment did they meet each other’s face. Sesshomaru’s eyes momentarily widened, but he swiftly held his stoic mask in place. Rin has changed….. Sesshomaru was sure of it.
She looked at him casually as how she did when they met the first time. There was one more thing that got caught by his keen eyesight. Her eyes spilt cold indifference and not the warm sincerity!
Sesshomaru was not able to take this change in her attitude lightly; nor could he ignore it. Because his intuition told that he was the reason for her change. He saw the usual warm girl that very morning; she seemed to have changed after her conversation with him. What could have possibly upset her so much even in the short exchange of words they made, that morning?
Sesshomaru concentrated on the discussion and they drew up the conclusion and action plan with mutual consent.
Rin headed towards her private chambers without another word which annoyed Sesshomaru even more. The girl usually speaks so much that you’d wish she’s mute for a while. Now this girl is playing mute so much, that it drives him crazy for her non-stop speech.
Who does she think she is? She knows too well I have come for her….. or at least she is one of the primary reasons for my visit. Why is she toying with my feelings!! HOW DARE SHE! Sesshomaru wasn’t even thinking of what he was thinking. He was preoccupied with Rin so much, that he hadn’t realized his own thought process.
Involuntarily, Sesshomaru’s legs followed Rin. Rin who was advancing ahead, noticed that Sesshomaru was behind her and that he is not in the direction of his chamber. She turned and looked at him.
Sesshomaru stopped in his tracks.
“I hope the purpose of your visit shall be achieved as you have planned, Lord Sesshomaru…. The Mission promises to be challenging. But I can see your well-designed plot is fool-proof. You are bound to succeed in this mission. I am honoured to be part of your team…. to assist you in every possible way….. Thank you, milord” Rin said warmly and casually. But she sounded too formal that made Sesshomaru feel uncomfortable. She bowed and turned to leave.
Sesshomaru stood there, till she disappeared….. He was confused at her speech…... But he was able to understand that what she had just said was directly connected to the reason why she had changed.
Sesshomaru was on his bed, mind fresh and active with a series of thoughts….. still chewing the episodes of the day. He just couldn’t get it.
“It is indeed a pity that a powerful, charming demon like you, is not able to comprehend the feelings of a girl….”
Sesshomaru growled. Kagura was right, all along. He is not able to comprehend a girl’s feelings…. Most importantly, his girl’s feelings.
“YOU’LL NEVER UNDERSTAND!”
“YES!..... If you choose to remain so dense, you’ll NEVER understand her!”
This time Sesshomaru growled even louder.
Rin came and greeted us…. told us her father was away…. She was normal initially….
Rin: “…….Th-thank you, milord…. for the visit…. You have indeed honoured me”
Me: “I have come to discuss with Master Kenji about the new Mission. I had already told him about my plans of frequent visits to this Mansion for the stated purpose”
Only at this point she seemed to have lost composure and became sort of…. upset.
“I hope the purpose of your visit shall be achieved as you have planned, Lord Sesshomaru…. The Mission promises to be challenging. But I can see your well-designed plot is fool-proof. You are bound to succeed in this mission. I am honoured to be part of your team…. to assist you in every possible way….. Thank you, milord”
FINALLY!!! The reality struck Sesshomaru as how the hammer hit the big-bell.
Rin was in high spirits that I have come to see her; to honour her request to visit her again…. But I spoke as if, my current visit is, as well as all of my future visits will be only official and not of any other…. As if, I would have visited irrespective of her presence in this mansion or of her request to meet her again….. My apparent indifference must have….. hurt her…..
Sesshomaru was beginning to feel guilty at what he had done. She came rushing to him the moment her servants informed her of his arrival. And he easily burst her bubble. Now Sesshomaru could understand her odd and cold behavior. She must have concluded that I disregard and discard any interaction that contradicts formality. So she’s playing along with the approach (A/N: i.e. formal approach) she thought of as mine. Sesshomaru regretted having misunderstood her. Now it seems as if, it was actually Sesshomaru who has toyed with her feelings, unbeknownst to himself.
Normally he should have scoffed and said “I don’t care!”. But he couldn’t this time…. Why not? His common sense asked.
It is because….. because she is a noble soul…. I am at ease in her presence…. That is why I seek her uh-….‘company’….. Nothing else…. His mind gave such shallow, non-committal reasons. They were all true; but they weren’t the only truths…. There was a much bigger and a more significant truth, the existence of which he’d deny even to himself….. “love”.
He knew that, before that day ended, somehow he would have to make Rin know that his visit is not entirely official. But how?Perhaps, I should….. Sesshomaru smirked when an impious thought crept into his mind.