BlackOut

Chapter 37

--Alia's POV--

I sat on the couch a few minutes after Matt had went back into the kitchen and pulled the papers on my lap. I had to think of what to write to the others before I actually wrote them.

Adam, I tapped the pen on my leg. What to write.

You are the best person that has helped me out in my career along with life. Watching your mistakes has helped me a little in my life. I have made some of the same mistakes that you have but you have helped me through them. You were my life savor and that is the true. Don't ever forget that. I want you to know something though, Even though you thought that I hated you for what you did to Matt, the truth was that I didn't. I truly don't like Amy but that was because of the way that she treated you both. Not just him, I watched her hurt both of you and that was not right. What I am saying is that you were never alone and you never will be. I'll always be there just listen to my words and live by them. Go for the gold. That's what's best. That and for you to know that I love you.
Good-bye---With Love,
Alia C.

I followed like before with this one. Once in the box I sighed. That's one more down. I listened to what I could of the conversation in the kitchen. After about five minutes I gave up and proceeded to the next letter.

Randy,
I have always trusted you. Ever since the day that John and you came to the orphanage. There is something about you that I knew I could trust you no matter what. I want to thank you for all of your help. If you don't know what I'm talking about, then you are not as bright as I thought you were. I have to find some way to help out when I'm not around anymore. So this is the best resolution that I have come up with. Cheer you up with my jokes so you aren't shedding any tears. Even though I know you will anyways. But I had to try. Be strong for John. This is going to hurt him the worst. I love you bunches. The family needs to stick together. And you know what I'm talking about.
With a lot of love,
you're a-bug.

There's another one done. In the box it went just as Matt and John walked into the living room. And Matt had to jump on the couch causing me to laugh.

"So how's my brother doing?"

"How in the hell am I suppose to know? You were just with him."

"Haven't you talked to him today?"

"No, but he'll be here in two days so I don't bother him. He is working."

"True but are you going to call him?"

"No. He's busy. Besides if he wants to talk then he will call. So that's that." I paused and looked at the two in front of me. They both looked sad. "Stop it." I said frustrated.

"Stop what shorty?"

"Stop feeling sad. This is for the best and you know it. I've been in pain for so long. This is better. So stop feeling bad, it's all going to be fine." I said sliding under Matt's arm. I rested my head on his side and placed my feet in John's lap.

"Shorty," I looked up when he didn't continue. I watched him, he took a deep breathe and let it out slowly along with a tear. "Your right. We need to be happy that you are here."

"Got that right. So what are we going to do?"

"Well how we watch your favorite movie?" My eyes got big and I looked at John.

"Really?? That would be awesome. I know that I am going to fall asleep during it but still that's cool." I smiled really big and I leaned back against Matt's side. John got up and put Twister in and pressed play. Soon it started and we all were watching it. The last thing I remember is Dorothy and Bill.

--The Next Morning--Alia's POV--

I woke up to the smell of smoke. I opened my eyes to see what it was but I didn't see anything. I then realized that I was in the guest bedroom. I tried to get up but I couldn't for some reason I was pinned to the bed. I looked all around and still had no clue. I let out a breathe and heard the door open.

"About time." He said with a chuckle. "Damn girl you sleep to fucking much."

"What do you want Matt?" I said with my eyes closed.

"I just came to see if you were awake yet. Now that you are, can I get you anything?" I felt the bed dip.

"Yeah can I have a sheet of paper and pen?"

"Ok." I could hear the confusion in his voice.

"I had some more work to do." I explained. "What time is it?"

"It's 4 in the afternoon…Do you want something to eat?" he grabbed my hand and squeezed it.

"Nah, I'm fine. But can I have some water?"

"Sure, water and paper coming right up."

He walked out the door and I was left in the room surrounded by the light of the sun. Today was going to be a good and sunny day. Tomorrow is the day Jeff is finally going to come. Well I just have to live one day at a time. Matt came back in the room with a glass of water along with the box, paper and pen that was in the living room.

"Thanks Matty. Where's dad at?"

"He's talking on the phone with your doctor."

"Really? When am I suppose to go see the doc anyways?"

"Ummm…he's already seen you."

"What?" Ok now I'm getting confused.

"He saw you today at noon. You were asleep and the good doctor didn't want to wake you up so he just did the basic's."

"Oh. That makes sense."

"I'll leave you to your work. If you need me just call me alright?"

"Ok." He leaned over and kiss me on the cheek before walking out of the room.

I sighed and let a tear fall. This is getting hard and I've only got John and Matt here. Dang this is gonna be super hard when Jeff and Shannon are here. Not to mention that party with Everybody here. I slid up so that my back was rested on the headboard and placed the paper in my lap whilst the pen was in between my fingers.

Dad,
How do I say this, You are a life savor, no that's not it. You are my dad. I love you and I probably wouldn't of known this great family that I have if it wasn't for you and Randy. You are the best father anybody could ask for. Don't doubt yourself. That is the old saying and I'm telling you that. Thank you for taking care of me even when I didn't want you to. You are the strongest person that I know and the one of the biggest teddy bears that I know. Don't get depressed and if you do remember that I love you and always will. There is no need to be sad about the fact that I am gone. Like I told you it's a good thing. I'm no longer in pain. Get back to work…I know for a fact that the fans miss you and they all love you. Just stick to the things that you love and you'll be set. Put on a smile for the world and in return the world will make you smile. : ) you know you are so very much loved by those crazy guys backstage as well as on stage. So get to it big man. I LOVE YOU.
Love Always…Your Daughter…Alia.

I folded this letter, but before I could put his name on it a tear hit the paper wetting it. I shrugged it off and placed his name on the top. Might as well put it away now. I placed it onto of Randy's and shut the lid. I looked at the paper in front of me. Last one to go. Jeff. I sobbed thinking about it. What am I going to say to him. 'Start from the TOP.' I told myself.

Jeff,
Why on earth did you have to be so crazy. I want you to listen to a song for me. Please listen to this song and I mean really listen to it. It's called Do you Realize by the flaming lips. It's a song I want you to live by. Live by the song that is what I want you to do. You have been there for me along with Shannon. With you and Shan there I have never fallen and couldn't get back up. It was always either you or Shan there to lean me a helping hand. I couldn't do it without you in my life. I have always loved you whether it's been brotherly love or something more. And I still love you to this day. I will look out for you my love. You are here today and that is good. Stay true to the family and you will be safe from harm. Matt loves you and hates what you do to yourself, Please stay away from the drugs. That way he will be at peace with himself. I love you and always will no matter what.
LOVE WITH ALL MY HEART
-Alia-

I folded this and placed it in the box before I could cry anymore. I shut the box and placed it on the end table beside the lamp. I drunk the water and replaced the glass on the floor. I turned over in bed and closed my eyes. I vaguely remember John walking in and covering up. I was so tired that It was crazy.


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