I walked down the halls, all around me people were crying and stopping me ever so often to tell me they feel sorry for me. I had the box tucked under my arm when i walked into the locker room that Randy, Dave, and Adam had taken up.
"Hey man, how ya holdin' up?" Randy asked.
"As well as a grieving father would. I have something for you three." I placed the box on the bench and opened it. I searched around until i found the three letters. I gave each one theirs. I sat down and watched them.
"What's this?" Randy asked for all three.
"Alia left it for you."
"Oh," Randy took a seat on the chair that was behind him.
I opened the letter and proceeded to read it.
I have always trusted you. Ever since the day that John and you came to the orphanage. There is something about you that I knew I could trust you no matter what. I want to thank you for all of your help. If you don't know what I'm talking about, then you are not as bright as I thought you were. I have to find some way to help out when I'm not around anymore. So this is the best resolution that I have come up with. Cheer you up with my jokes so you aren't shedding any tears. Even though I know you will anyways. But I had to try. Be strong for John. This is going to hurt him the worst. I love you bunches. The family needs to stick together. And you know what I'm talking about.
With a lot of love,
I stared at the paper for a minute fulling letting what i had just read get through. I let the tear roll down my cheek before i cracked a smile. I love...loved...that girl. even though she's gone from this world she's left her mark. I looked up to see John had tears threating to fall but he wouldn't let them. and Alia was right, i needed to be strong for my best friend right now. That is something i can do...for Alia.
I sucked in my breathe as i opened my letter. What could it possibly say? that was the one thing that i wanted to know more than anything else in the world.
I really hope that you are getting better. My last wish for you is that you do. I have loved you as a brother and that is why I tried to make the relationship work. But as it happens it didn't and I am happy that we could still be friends. Please get better. They have always said that time heals all wounds. I believe that and it should. So it's just a matter of time before you get better. We had some good times and I wouldn't change any of that. But the things that I would change are the parts that you know. I want everything to work out for you in the end and for you to be happy. I want you to know that I love you.
I didn't try to hide the tears. Even though i put Alia through hell when we were together she still cared for me. This made me feel worse than i felt before. But knowing Alia, she meant all of this in the goodness of her heart. And i hoped she was still here to see that i was getting better. I'm not going to stop because i know that would really break her heart if she was still here. She's gone now, but she knows that i had loved her with everything i have. I looked up to see that Adam hadn't even dared to open his letter yet.
"Are you going to open it?" I asked getting Adam's attention.
"I'm kinda afraid to."
"It can't be that bad. Look at what i did to her and she still had nothing but good stuff to write, It's going to be ok." i tried reasoning with him.
"I guess i can read her last words."
I closed my eyes as i began to open the letter, i didn't want to see what was in this. If i read it then she's not here but if i don't then...No if i don't then i wouldn't know what she wanted to tell me. I had to do this, I CAN do this. it's not that hard. I opened my eyes and began to read the letter.
You are the best person that has helped me out in my career along with life. Watching your mistakes has helped me a little in my life. I have made some of the same mistakes that you have but you have helped me through them. You were my life savor and that is the true. Don't ever forget that. I want you to know something though, Even though you thought that I hated you for what you did to Matt, the truth was that I didn't. I truly don't like Amy but that was because of the way that she treated you both. Not just him, I watched her hurt both of you and that was not right. What I am saying is that you were never alone and you never will be. I'll always be there just listen to my words and live by them. Go for the gold. That's what's best. That and for you to know that I love you.
I tried, but failed, to hold the tears. I let out a light chuckle as i read the last three lines. I looked up to see the other three staring at me.
"Told ya it wouldn't be bad, it even made you laugh." Dave said.
"That it did, that girl knows how to cheer me up."
" Me too." Randy exclaimed.
"Are you guys going to wrestle tonight?" John asked.
"I was thinking about it. that is if Matt and Shannon are up for it." i said looking at Randy.
"What?" Randy asked noticing my eyes on him.
"How about Rated RKO teams up tonight and go up against Matt Hardy and Shannon Moore?"
"That'd be cool, all we've got to do is talk to Hardy and Moore. And if they agree we have to talk to Vince about it. Win or lose it'll be in memory of Alia." Randy said excitedly.
As if they heard their names in walked Matt and Shannon. They each sported the same expression as everybody else in the arena did. Sadness. That is one expression that everybody will be sick of when we all go back to normal.
"Hey, do you two want to be in a match tonight?" i asked.
"Against who?" Shannon asked.
"Randy and myself." i placed a smirk on my face when i announced this.
"For Alia," Matt said with a nod.
He looked over at the TV that was now playing a video of Barbie, Maria, and Beth talking about the good times they had with Alia. Take it they didn't spend that much time with her but for the most part everybody loved her. I watched as Beth was being shown now.
"Even though her true family was with the guys, she could hold her own against all of us. I remember one day when Randy had pissed her off she came into the Diva's locker room and started cutting a deep one into me. She was so pissed that she came very close to hitting me. But she calmed down and when she did she didn't know what she was doing, i guess you could say that she was random like that. I will miss her and i wished that i got to spend some more time with her." The screen faded to King and JR.
"That is one girl that i know that i am going to miss." King exclaimed holding a tissue in his hands.
"As will i, we have a match coming up now, let's get on track, it's going to be Triple H v. Batista v. Mark Henry. And that match is up after these commercials." JR said.
"Well that was interesting." i said. Dave got up and walked out of the room. Obviously getting ready for the match.
As instructed before the show everyone had done their own version of things for Alia, The superstars could wear one of her t-shirts, or her hat's or they (Rey) was wearing a picture of her on the top of his shirt. Tonight was filled with only one person in everyone's thoughts and hearts...Alia.
"Matt, Shan, i've got something for you two." i heard John exclaim. i glanced over to see him hand them similar letters. I glanced back at the monitor to give them their own personal time to read her thoughts.
"Thanks," i said i doubt anyone heard it. i opened the letter quickly and looked at it. I had a feeling she was going through a lot of pain when she wrote this. i looked at it and began to read.
I want you to know that you are one of my best friends. I want you to be happy with your life and stay focus on your job. I know that if you want something you will get it. Ashley is the best thing for you. I am truly happy that you two are together. Try your best not to hurt her. This is truly what is coming from my heart. You are my Brother and that is all that I have ever wanted in life. I love you and I don't want you to shed any tears over me. I know you will however. Just remember that you will always have me watching over you.
-Alia…I Love you Matty-
i couldn't help myself, the tears just feel. I tried to chock them back but the harder i tried the more they fell. I wiped the tears that i could away. Just as i looked up i got very cold. i looked around and saw nothing, i let out my breathe and i could see a puff of white air come out of my mouth.
"Is it cold in here?" I asked.
"Nope," Randy answered from across the room. "Why?"
"It's..." I looked around, i shook my head thinking i was just imagining things. I shrugged and felt i bit warmer. "Never mind." i looked back at John who was looked like he was on the brink of a melt down. I turned my attention to my partner for the night, he was still reading his letter. Once he was finished we would go talk to Vince.
I read my letter about four times before i completely understood it.
I love my handsome brother. You are always there to take care of me. You are like another father figure to me. I want you to do one thing for me…Keep the guys, all of them, with each other. Everything needs to be the same for them all to be happy. I know that you can handle that. Punkie you are the best thing that I had and you should know that. When I first started coming to the back stage you were the first one to help me out. I love you and you are a member of my family and I wouldn't change any of that.
She wanted me to keep everyone true to the things they were when she was around. I knew that i would do that even if it killed me. The least i can do is this. I folded my letter back together and looked up to meet Matt's eyes.
"You ready?" he asked.
"Yup, Let's go get this match." I said. i got up and walked out the door with Matt, Adam, and Randy following me.
I watched as the guys left me in the room to go talk to Vince. I turned my attention back to the TV.
"And Henry with that Big bear hug on Triple H," JR exclaimed.
"Wait a minute, Batista spears them both, could this be it?" King asked.
"Batista with the cover, and, yes he wins."
Batista covered Triple H. He stood up and looked up. there was a single tear rolling down his face. he reached over and held out his hand to Triple H. Both men raised their hands and pointed to the sky. Triple H mouthed the words. "We Love you A." before it went to commercial.
I had to go find the others. i thought. I got up with the box tucked under my arms and walked out of the empty locker room. I wasn't even in the halls for a minute when i ran into Shane.
"Hey man, how are ya?" Shane asked me.
"Fine for now, I have something for you."
"Really? what is it?"
I opened the box and moved some letters around before i found his. I handed it to him and just nodded before walking away.
I looked at the letter in my hands. i recognized the handwriting as Alias. This had me already getting a little emotional. I didn't want to cry in front of anyone who might walk by so i walked down the hall until i found an empty locker room. I closed the door behind me and walked over to the bench. I stared at the letter before i opened it.
I know that during all the parties we had so much fun. Well I had fun tormenting you at any chance that I got. I love you and that is why I did it. I am glad that I had you in my life and that you let me doing some of the things that I did. But we are even now. With all the pranks that we did to each other we came out even. It was so much fun and it still is. Keeping having fun with the guys and try to keep them straight. I know that they are going to be hard to get along with for a while, and for that I am sorry.
Love you a lot.
instead of crying i was laughing. I knew that even if she was here i would be laughing. For some reason it was just how we rolled. I love her more than she realized. i closed my letter and put it in my back pocket before i walked out the room with a smile on my face. I walked down the hallway when i found Ken and Ashley talking to each other.
"Hey guys." i said with a smile.
"Dude, how can you be smiling?" Ashley asked.
"Alia told me to," it was as simple as that.
"Now how did she tell you to do that?"
"She just did. I'll talk to you guys later. I've got to go do my interview for her." With that i waved to them both and walked away.
"What was that about?"
"No clue," Ashley said. "But i still don't see Alia could of told him to smile and not be all upset."
"I think i have a clue," i said.
"Will you let me in?"
"When i find John, i will let you know."
I walked down the hallway with Ashley beside me. We were on our way to find John. If i was thinking what i was thinking then Alia had left letters for all her 'family'. She wouldn't leave this world without everyone she was close to, to have some kind of knowledge that she would always be here no matter what. We spent maybe five minutes searching until we found John in catering.
"hey John, what's up?" Ashley asked.
"nothing," he replied taking a sip of his water.
"John can i ask you something?" I asked taking a seat across from him.
"Sure," He shrugged, while Ashley took the seat next to him.
"Did Alia write letters to all of her 'family'?"
"Yeah, How did-" I cut him off.
"I know her, that's how i know."
"Well, here's your," He handed me the letter, "And Ash, Here's yours."
I opened my letter as John sat there and finished his water.
Mr. Loudmouth, what to say to you…I love you. You know that. Thank you for helping me out. You were there when I needed a shoulder. You are the one that I could trust to help me out whenever I needed it. You are the best friend and the big brother that I never had. I love your heart and your caring ways. You should know that you are the best. You are the only one that knows about Lance and I would love you even more if you keep that to yourself. You may end up not liking the guy but give him the benefit of the doubt. He was doing what Chris told him to do. FORGIVE him, that is all that I ask of you. Forgive him. I love you. Do what you have to do.
"I'll talk to you guys later." i said.
"Alright, and whatever she said in the letter she means." Matt told me.
"Oh, i know." I said getting up.
"Those two always knew what each other were thinking." I said to John.
"I know, and every time it was freakin' creepy." John said with a laugh.
"It's good to see you laughing."
"I didn't realize how much she touched our lives."
"I know what you mean. Do you mind if i read this now?"
"Nah, go right ahead."
I opened the letter and read it. as soon as i finished it i started to cry.
It's so good that we get along with each other. I love you so much and you know that our little Matthew loves you to. The only thing that I want you do for me is love him. Even if it ends bad for the relationship I want you to love him. He is the nicest and sweetest guy around. You are the sister that I never had. I want you to be as happy as you can. If you can be happy then I can be happy. Stay true to yourself and don't let the big boys get to you.
"It's going to be ok, Ash."
"i know. she always looked out for others more than herself."
"So true." John said, Just then Mickie walked in. "Micks come here."
"Hey," she said as she took a seat next to John. She kissed him on the cheek then took his hand in hers. "What's going on?"
"Reading letters from Alia." I said.
"And you have one too." John said handing hers to her.
I stared at John for a minute before grasping the letter in my hands. Alia was like a daughter to me and now she was no longer here and she left a letter for me. Just thinking about it made me want to cry. I looked at John and he nodded.
"I can't read this."
"Yes you can," John squeezed my hand letting me know that he was there with me. i opened the letter and read it.
Thanks for all your help with everything that has happened. I love you and I hope that your career heads to the place that I along with everyone else know where it's going. You are the one person that I know will make John happy when I no longer am around. Please even if you guys are friends try not to let him get depressed. I want to thank you for and I love you very much.
"John," I said once i finished.
"What is it?"
"She wants me to keep you happy." I said with a smile.
He pulled me into a hug. "It's going to be ok." he told me. I nodded my head and looked up to the monitor that now was featuring Phil, Ken and Mike (The Miz).
"Alia was like a sister to me. We were always there for each other no matter what." Ken said. "When she was depressed i would try to cheer her up. She was the rock in any situation. She looked out for the people she cared about. That is the one thing that i am going to miss about her." Ken let a tear roll down his cheek before he continued. "I miss you already." the picture switched to Phil.
"Alia was the one that you could joke around with but if you rubbed her the wrong way you would get it. She was a tough chick and she wasn't afraid to roll around on the mat with the big boys." Phil sobbed and he couldn't continue. The screen then went to Mike.
"Alia, John, and myself would play pranks on each other." he paused and took out his tie-dyed hat. "This is just one of the pranks that she played on me." he placed it on his head and laughed. "She was the one who gave John and myself our catch phrase. To tell you the truth we should be the ones that are Jealous. We were lucky enough to have her in our lives. I'm going to miss her." He said.
"Up next is another tribute to Alia. It's going to be for one night only Rated RKO v. Matt Hardy and Shannon Moore." King said.
"Babe, I'm going to go find Phil." John said kissing me on the hand.
"Alright, Beth and myself are going to have a match right before your match."
"I'll see you afterwards then." he said kissing me on the cheek before taking off down the hallway in search of Phil.
I found Phil standing in the hallway. I walked up to him and noticed that he and Mike were talking.
"I can't believe that you actually wore that hat." Phil stated to Miz who was still wearing the hat.
"I've never gotten rid of it and it's awesome."
"Mike, you realize that you look even gayer than you already do?"
"Well Alia made it so i might as well wear it."
"He's got a point Phil." i said finally making my presence known.
"Thanks," Mike said. "I've got to go find John." he said walking away.
"I have to give you this." I said handing him the letter.
"Thanks." he said taking it and opening it up.
i opened it up and smiled.
I know that we haven't really hung out much but this is important. I think that the reason why I became so strong was you. All the training in the ring really helped me out. You will never know how much fun I had with you inside that ring. My home. Thank you.
"That girl can really touch your heart." I said to John, I loved teaching her.
She was such an excellent person to teach. She was dedicated to her job and getting stronger was her main goal. She wouldn't give up no matter what. She was the one person that i enjoyed teaching. If i had to do it again i would. That is how much i loved teaching her.
"That she can.""
"Good luck tonight."
"No problem." Phil patted me on the back before walking away. I walked back into the room that i was previously in and sat in front of the tv. I watched as Shannon and Matt won and all four guys held up each others hands. I didn't notice when Jeff walked into the room, until he spoke to me.
"Hey John, Are you ready for tonight?"
"Huh? Oh yeah." I looked at him for a second before i remembered that i had a letter for him as well. "Jeff i have a letter for you." I told him and handed it to him.
"Thanks," he looked at me.
"Aren't you going to read it?"
"Have you read yours?"
"Read yours first and then i'll read mine."
"Fine, deal." I opened my letter without being told twice.
How do I say this, You are a life savor, no that's not it. You are my dad. I love you and I probably wouldn't of known this great family that I have if it wasn't for you and Randy. You are the best father anybody could ask for. Don't doubt yourself. That is the old saying and I'm telling you that. Thank you for taking care of me even when I didn't want you to. You are the strongest person that I know and the one of the biggest teddy bears that I know. Don't get depressed and if you do remember that I love you and always will. There is no need to be sad about the fact that I am gone. Like I told you it's a good thing. I'm no longer in pain. Get back to work…I know for a fact that the fans miss you and they all love you. Just stick to the things that you love and you'll be set. Put on a smile for the world and in return the world will make you smile. : ) you know you are so very much loved by those crazy guys backstage as well as on stage. So get to it big man. I LOVE YOU.
Love Always…Your Daughter…Alia.
"Damn," that all that i could say. Even though she was living in extreme amounts of pain that i may not be able to live i know that writing all these letters must of killed her. She had to let everyone in her heart that nobody has ever been in. So writing those letters might have been the hardest thing she had to do.
"Your turn Jeffro."
"If i must." he sighed. He didn't want to but he knew that he had to. So i just turned my attention on the tv.
I listened to the tv for a minute before i opened the letter.
"And making her way to the ring in memory of the daughter of John Cena, Beth Phoenix" Lillian announced.
I turned my attention the letter in my hands. I had put it off enough. I sighed and opened it up.
Why on earth did you have to be so crazy. I want you to listen to a song for me. Please listen to this song and I mean really listen to it. It's called Do you Realize by the flaming lips. It's a song I want you to live by. Live by the song that is what I want you to do. You have been there for me along with Shannon. With you and Shan there I have never fallen and couldn't get back up. It was always either you or Shan there to lean me a helping hand. I couldn't do it without you in my life. I have always loved you whether it's been brotherly love or something more. And I still love you to this day. I will look out for you my love. You are here today and that is good. Stay true to the family and you will be safe from harm. Matt loves you and hates what you do to yourself, Please stay away from the drugs. That way he will be at peace with himself. I love you and always will no matter what.
LOVE WITH ALL MY HEART
"God i love that girl." There was a knock on the door that got both of our attention.
"Guys your match is next." The stage hand said.
"Alright." both John and i got up and made our way to the gorilla position. "This is for Alia." I said to John.
"That it is."
"This is going to be a great match." King said.
"That it is. We have John Cena going up against Jeff Hardy. This couldn't get any better."
John Cena made his way to the ring and no long afterwards Jeff did the same. The two guys shook hands before the ref. called for the bell. They both locked up in the middle of the ring. John had the upper hand for a good five minutes. He went to for the five knuckle shuffle when Jeff rolled out of the way. John shot up shaking his hand in pain. Jeff took the opportunity to take advance of the situation. Four and a half minutes later Jeff hit the swanton bomb on John and got the pin. The ref raised Jeff hand in the air.
As my hand was being raised i felt something. i looked around me to see if i could find what was there. For some reason it felt like Alia was there with me. I looked down at John and held out my hand. He took it and we held up our hands in victory. The next thing i know is i'm cold and look over to John.
"Are you cold?" i whispered to him.
"Yeah," he said.
Then i felt a hand on my shoulder. I knew that it wasn't John because i could see his hands. I turned around but there was nobody there. Then i sighed, John was standing there with me. He turned around to see what was going on.
"Man, it's Alia." i said.
"I love you baby." John said.
I leaned down and kissed Jeff on the cheek. I watched as he and dad were talking. It just gave a great idea. To tell them that no matter what i would always be there. When they raised their hands in the air i placed a hand on each of their shoulders. When my dad said that he loved me i knew that everything would be ok. I kissed both guys on the cheek before i drifted away.
"Everything will be as it always has." I whispered.