Day in and day out. Always the same. Never changing. All I could do in this desolate place was submerge myself in my memories. Memories of the past...memories ofhim. Those bittersweet memories tore at my heart but they were all I had; only memories and regrets.
I sighed as I once again told myself that I just had to accept it. That was just my “life” now; there was nothing I could do to change it. I suddenly couldn’t stand to just sit there anymore and dwell so I rose to my feet. The others nearby glanced over at me as I started walking off but they didn’t say anything like usual.
I slowly walked through the dreary, dead plain, thinking that maybe I would go and visit Rem or Gelus. I really just needed to do something…anything. It felt like my brain was rotting from doing nothing. My fingers were starting to twitch from all the excess energy that had been building up over the years. Despite all that energy, I felt like I had to drag my feet just to move. I stopped a while away at the sound of laughter.
Oh…it’s him, I thought as I slowly looked over at the laughing shinigami that was watching me from a large rock.
“You don’t look so good.” He said, glancing at my twitching hands. I ignored him and attempted to walk past. He flew down to block my path.
“Why torture yourself?” He asked, though I doubt that he actually cared about me. “You know there’s a way.” His eyes glowed red as he spoke. “A way to stop your descent into madness. Why are you hesitating? You’ve done it before. You just need to do it again.”
He was right...there was a way. It wasn’t one I liked to think about though…the consequences of it weren’t something I wanted to risk. I was reaching my limit though. I really didn’t have much choice.
It was either that or staying here till I finally went mad or died. With that thought my mind was made up. It seemed I was more selfish than I realized.
My twitching hand fell to my waist, checking to see if my two notebooks were still strapped there. One was mine and the other was one I had come across while wandering aimlessly years ago. No shinigami came to reclaim it, not that it was really possible to find a single missing notebook in this expansive world, and so I kept it as my own. He started laughing again, seeing that he had convinced me. It made me doubt my choice but not enough to change my mind. He let me pass on my way towards the portal.
It didn’t take as long to reach it as I expected, as my feet were no longer dragging. I peered down over the cliff into the swirling white depths below. I stood there, wondering if I was really ready to return to that world.
I have to do something, I reminded myself and with that thought I stepped off the edge and fell headfirst into those swirling depths.
Everything went bright then dark then bright again. I felt my anticipation grow as the atmosphere around me become lighter. I instinctively summoned my wings from my back and spread them out to stop my descent even though it was rather unnecessary. I waited till I was gliding smoothly before really looking around.
I had forgotten how bright this world was…how beautiful it was. The sky was filled with white fluffy clouds that would turn bright when the sunshine peeked out from behind them. The way the sun shined through and enveloped the ground below in rays of dazzling light and reflected off the many windows of startlingly tall buildings and shiny contraptions that sped down the roads was truly breathtaking. I let out a couple unsteady breaths as I was overwhelmed by sad nostalgia.
After admiring the view for a bit I removed one of my notebooks from the strap around my waist. I looked down at it and felt my determination waver. I thought of the possible consequences of what I was about to do…no, there was nothing ‘possible’ about it; I knew that no matter who picked it up, someone was going to die.
There’s no way he would approve of this,I thought, sadly.It’s either this or going back though.
I gripped the notebook tightly with my suddenly steady hands, almost leaving marks on the cover, and just stared down at the innocent looking book. My thoughts warred inside my mind for a while until finally selfishness won out.
I let go of the notebook and flew on without watching it fall so I wouldn’t be tempted to catch it. Having achieved what I needed, I returned to my realm…and waited.
Back in the human world, a young man witnessed a notebook falling from the sky from his seat by the classroom window. He attempted to pretend that he hadn’t witnessed such a strange event but ultimately picked up the mysterious book.
“The human whose name is written in this notebook shall die.” He read from the first page. “Ridiculous.”
He put it back down and started walking away. He paused only a few feet away and came back as there was a faint nagging sensation that he couldn’t shake off. He picked it up once more and the feeling subsided. He walked off again but this time he brought it along with him, unknowingly setting his fate in motion.