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A Muggle Technicality

By therealritaskeeter

Humor / Adventure

Social Worker ascendant

Medeia Black, daughter of Marius Black, disowned squib, had worked for Surrey Social Services since 1980 when she had been 21. Now at 36 she could feel the stressful but rewarding job every morning before she drank at least two cups of coffee. It was a blistering summer's day at the end of July and she was waiting for the phone call that she received every year on the 31st from one Mrs. Petunia Dursley of Number 4 Privit Drive, Little Winging, a small suburban constituency that had voted Conservative for as long as the England had voted. Mrs. Dursley called every year just to check that no mysterious relatives had popped into existence in the previous year to take "The Boy" of her hands. Medeia, or Maggie as she was universally known, had worked "The Potter Case" since 1991, when her predecessor had been found to be neglecting her duty following the death of a three year old two years previously in which an inquiring inquiry had proved that Social Services could and should have of intervened.  Consequently, Maggie had found herself investigating all of the cases that had previously been deemed as safe to ensure that no other errors had been made; she had spent the 5th of September being barked at by Mr. Dursley while Mrs. Dursley followed her around their spotless home, pursing her lips as they went. She had gone into Harry James Potter's (Born 31st July 1980 to Lily Elizabeth Potter nee' Evans and James Charlus Potter. Occupation unknown, born in Godric's Hollow, Ross on Wye, Known relatives: Petunia Marianne Dursley: Maternal Aunt) Bedroom to find it clean with only a collection of pre-teen novels and stack of broken toys. Maggie's alarm bell was triggered by Mrs. Dursley's frequent mentions of the fact that "The Boy" was at boarding school, as if the lack of other personal belongings in the small room could be explained away by boarding school where he was unlikely to bring toys and anything too precious with him. Her panic had set in when she had approached their cupboard under the stairs and opened it to find a lost sock and a small slightly broken toy soldier on the floor, an anomaly in the otherwise spotless house. Maggie hadn't commented but had left with a tight smile and a promise to be in touch, as it was apparently she couldn't do any more than put Harry on "at-risk-status", particularly as it had been proven that he was away at boarding school for nine months of the year. When she had gone back the next summer, she had watched Harry and the Dursley's son Dudley, talk in the garden and it had indeed proved that Harry was sleeping in the smallest bedroom upstairs rather than the cupboard. Consequently it had been deemed that Harry's situation was not critical despite the obvious size difference between him and Dudley.

As Maggie sat emailing one of the local school nurses for information on a family of five who didn't seem to have washed clothes on a regular basis, the phone rang.

"Hello, Maggie Black here, who's speaking?"

"I'm Detective Inspector Michael Batley from West Yorkshire Constabulary; we recently investigated a light show in the Village of Little Hangelton and upon questioning the owner of the Manor House in the village, we discovered he was the son of the original family by the last Mr. Riddle's first wife., Consequently Mr. Thomas Marvolo Riddle, is a Maternal Great-Uncle of one of your clients, a Harry James Potter?"

Maggie blinked several times in shock, "This Tom Riddle is the son of my client's great-grandfather?"

"We believe so; we proved it using DNA from the Riddle Cold Case in 1926"

"Can you give me his contact details?"

"Yep, hang on a mo'... yep Riddle House, Little Hangelton, Denby Dale, West Yorkshire, DN13 1AA, Phone Number 015673 866343, you should probably expect it to be answered by Pettigrew, Mr Riddle's companion"

"Ok, thanks, bye"

Maggie had sat in stunned shock for five minutes and then picked up the phone and called her father. When he had heard the news that Tom Marvolo Riddle, aka Lord Voldemort, had proved to be the third closest blood relative of Harry Potter, his mortal enemy, Marius Black had burst out laughing.

"Maggie, the best way to handle it is to go into the kill, you don't think his relatives treat him well, yes?"

"Yes..."

"Then it's simple; uses your real name, Medeia Black has more authority than Maggie as a name, then blackmail him and inform him that if he really wants to annoy Dumbledore, corrupting his only saviour is a really good method, and then sit back and let him get completely frustrated over the fact that he can only have an heir if he gives up his plan to conquer the wizarding world."

Grasping every ounce of courage, she dialled Voldemort's phone number. Pettigrew's squeaky nasal voice came on the end of the line.

"Hello?"

"Hello, this is Medeia Clytemnestra Black, I'd like a word with your master."

Pettigrew must have passed the phone very quickly because within 30 seconds a serpentine voice was speaking.

"What do you want you filthy squib?"

"Are you aware that your father remarried?"

"Are you attempting to test my patience?"

"No, merely inform you of your...options. Your father remarried, taking his childhood sweetheart, Cecilia Chambers as his second wife. She died in childbirth with your half sister Alyssa Rose in 1932 who married Harold Evans in 1955, giving birth to Petunia Marianne in 1957 and Lily Elizabeth in 1960. Alyssa and Harold died in a car crash in 1979 and Lily and her husband James Potter..." She gave time for a dramatic pause to allow the realisation to hit him, "Were killed by you in 1981, Petunia and her husband Vernon are not giving sufficient care for your Great-Nephew Harry and as the Social Worker attached to Harry's case I do have to...investigate potential alternative guardians for my client"

Voldemort was muttering on the end of the phone, something about 'Potter always looking too skinny' then, in a voice that struck Maggie as being more of the charismatic Tom Riddle, her father had told her about, whom Walburga and Cygnus, his siblings, had fawned over, rather than He-Who-Must-Not-Be-named, The Dark Lord, said, "If I do agree to take guardianship of Potter, what of the prophecy? I assume that the ever omniscient Marius informs you of everything?"

"Yes and I believe his words were Bullshit. Sibyl Trelawney is the biggest fraud he has ever encountered."

"You are inferring by this conversation saying that I could take advantage of Muggle legislation in order to cease Potter's stance as my enemy and severely irritate Dumbledore at the same time."

"Yes." She said simply.

There was a pause, and then "When can I sign the paperwork?"

"I'll bring both Harry and the paperwork up to Yorkshire with me tomorrow."

"I will see you then Miss Black."

Before the line cut off, she just about heard him order Pettigrew to clean and sort another room out for their guest.

She sat back in her chair and smirked. Petunia was going to be so happy.


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