Sakura Train

Hot Seat

Chapter Thirty: Hot Seat:

Tana watched Anna across the room in her office. Three days and her client wouldn’t talk. Tana hit record on her tape player.

“November 28th, 2010,” she said. “I am Fujimoto Tana and I am with my patient, Tsuzuki-Kimoto Anna.” Tana turned her focus back to Anna.

“Why can’t you connect with Baby Kirika?” she asked. Anna narrowed her eyes.

“We’re already been over this,” she said.

“Tell me again.”

Anna puffed up her cheeks. “I just can’t.”

“And why not?”

The other woman sighed. This session would be different. Today, Anna brought her own tape recorder. Tana raised an eyebrow.

“Is your answer on one of your father’s tapes?” she asked. Anna said nothing as she hit play.

Entry #23

March 26th, 1983.

My name is Kimoto Daisuke. I am eighteen years and I’m a single dad.

I have a confession to make. I’ve tried to kill my daughter—twice. I got that scared of her. Anna-chan is part of that generation. I can’t give her over to the Mother. I can’t!

He sighed.

Two nights, I tried to smother her…

Tana listened to the entry. “And you believe you might try to kill the baby because of what your father did?” she asked afterwards.

“Not just him,” Anna said. “His family has a history of filicide. Haruka murdered Papa and my aunts. Her mother tried to kill her and her sister before they born.” She pressed her hand to her forehead.

“So, you think you will follow in their footsteps?” Tana asked.

“In short, yes,” Anna said.

“You are not your family.”

“Neither was Papa.” She sighed. “I don’t think I understand me anymore.”

“Is it because you stabbed Haruka?”

“You can say that.”

“How are you really?”

“Truthfully… I don’t really know anymore. When I was in the institution, it was easier to disconnect. I just slept for days. It felt so easy not to care, you know?”

“Do you want to go back?”

“No.”

“Then… What do you want?”

Anna shook her head. “No idea.” She looked at Tana’s hands as she took down more notes. The therapist returned her attention to Anna.

“You know what?” she asked. “I am just going to let you talk.”

The other woman gave her a funny look. “What do you mean?”

“You talk out everything on your mind and I’ll listen. Kind of a stream of consciousness deal.”

“Stream of consciousness?”

“Yes.”

“Alright.”

“Go ahead and start.”

Anna blinked. “Wait… Now?”

“Yes.”

She looked down at her lap. “Alright.” Anna wound up talking for three hours. Tana went through a notepad and a half for notes. She even kept Anna talking after the session was over. The client felt spent when she ran out of things to talk about. Still, Tana had one more question.

“How does the Mother feel about this?” she asked. Anna glanced over at Tana.

“Heh?” she asked.

“The Mother. What does she think about all of this?”

“Oh. I haven’t been able to contact her.”

“Why is that?”

“I have no idea.”

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