Haruhi's Best Friend

Anniversary Episode

Tomuru's Narrative

It was just gonna be a normal day at the Host Club, just a normal frickin day. If we just played hangman or rock, paper, scissors then we might not be in this mess but no, no it had to be truth or dare. It was the Tweeds fault, it was their idea! You're probably wondering what the hell I'm going on about so I'll just tell ya. It all started when we were waiting for the guests to turn up at the club room…

"C'mon we've got nothing else to do," Hikaru continued to persist.

"Yeah, it'll be fun," Kaoru agreed.

"No way am I playing truth or dare with you two!" I objected, Dearest and I firmly refusing the idea.

"Why not?" Hikaru whined.

"You two will just make creepy requests like the pervy Tweeds you are," I argued.

"Doggie how could you say that?" Tweedledum exaggerated offense.

"You make us sound so dirty. We have some integrity," Tweedledee continued.

"Riiight?" I drawled.

"Ok, how about we take a vote. Hands up who wants to play truth or dare before the guests come?" Kaoru suggested.

Almost everyone's hand went up, aside from Dearest, shadow lord and I.

"Rossi, you traitor!" I said, feeling betrayed.

"I have faith that you'll punch anyone who tries to make me do something I'm not comfortable with," Rossi responded.

"Fine we'll play just remember Rossi is 12, 12 got it?" I emphasised, aiming the comment at the Tweeds.

"Got it," The Tweeds answered.

"Who decides who goes first?" Rossi asked.

"Oh, I know!" I ran to my school bag and rifled through it, returning with an empty water bottle.

"What are we supposed to do with that?" Hikaru asked.

"We sit in a circle, someone spins the bottle in the middle and whoever the cap points to is asked truth or dare by the others," I explained.

"That's a great idea," Tamaki commented.

"Ok let's get this started," Hikaru stated impatiently.

Everyone sat down around a coffee table where I placed the bottle that is aside from Kyoya.

"I'm guessing you're not playing shadow lord?" I guessed.

"I have better things to do than play your high school games," Kyoya spoke from a table nearby, eyes glued to the laptop screen as usual.

Jeez, talk about a buzzkill.


"So who's spinning first?" Haruhi asked.

"Truth or Dare!" Tamaki and the Tweeds sang at me, after five turns it was my turn to be the victim.

Those three in particular were getting really into this game.
"It doesn't matter I know what you lot are gonna ask so I'll go truth," I answered, predicting what was gonna happen.

After a brief moment of whispering ideas, cupcake decided to ask.

"Do you like Kyo-Chan?"

"I knew it, I frickin knew it!" I exclaimed.

"Sugar, the readers knew it," Haruhi pointed out.

"What the heck are the readers?" I asked in confusion.

"Never mind, just answer the question," Haruhi waved off.

"I've answered this question too many times already. No, I do not like 'Kyo-Chan' in a romancy schmancy way, just in a platonic sense. God you guys are worse than the guests shipping me and Dearest together," I answered.

"Aww, poor Kyoya Senpai's heartbroken," The Tweeds said in mock pity.

"No, I'm not," Kyoya spoke up firmly.

"How do we know she's telling the truth?" Haruhi teased.

"Ya know in a minute Dearest I'm gonna thwack you," I growled.

"You would never," Haruhi scoffed.

"Yeah, I would never," I admitted.

"Would you like to know for sure that she's telling the truth?" Nekasowa suddenly appeared behind me, making me fall off my seat in surprise.

"You can't just do that dude!" I exclaimed, sitting back down beside Dearest.

"How?" the Tweeds asked Nekasowa eagerly.

"With this," Nekasowa took out a bottle filled with neon purple liquid from under his cloak.

"After helping you bond with your sister this is what we get in return? Poison?" I exclaimed.

"Not poison, a truth potion the Black Magic club cooked up last week. However, this potion only works if everyone has a drop. The person who you want the truth from has two drops," Nekasowa placed the bottle down on the table.

"…You do have a reverse potion for this right?" I asked sceptically.

"Right here," Nekasowa assured, placing a bottle down with green liquid inside.

"Just checking."

"Let's do it!" the Tweeds exclaimed excitedly, grabbing the purple bottle.

"Remember only a drop," Nekasowa reminded, handing a plastic syringe to them.

"Kay," Hikaru had a drop of the potion before Kaoru.

"How does it taste?" Rossi asked curiously.

"Kinda like kiwi," Kaoru answered, handing the bottle and syringe to Tamaki.

Soon everyone had a drop before the bottle came to me.

"You wanna get in on this shadow lord?" I offered, wiggling the bottle at his direction.

Kyoya paused from whatever he does on the laptop before walking over to us.

"I'm most likely going to regret this aren't I?" He said as he took the bottle from me.

"Only one way to find out," I shrugged.

Once he took his potion it was my turn.

"Huh, it does taste like kiwi fruit," I agreed with Kaoru once I carefully took the potion.

"So what do we do now?" Tamaki asked Nekasowa.

"The truth potion should take effect as soon as you ask a question," Nekasowa answered.

"Ok, I'll ask, Sugar do you fancy Kyoya Senpai?" Haruhi asked.

"No, I don't," I answered firmly.

"Aww, she really was telling the truth," Honey pouted.

"See? I told…" I froze mid-sentence as the room felt like it was spinning.

"Is it just me or does the room feel like its spinning?" I heard myself ask the others, in a slightly slurred voice.

I heard the others agree, also in slurred voices.

"Uh oh," I heard Nekasowa before I blacked out.

When I woke up I was on the floor of the clubroom, blinking up at the bright chandeliers on the ceiling.

What the heck did that cat puppet dude do to us? Hang on why does it feel like I have a sausage with two meatballs in my trousers? Hang on I don't remember wearing trousers? Or glasses? Why the heck am I wearing glasses?

I took off the glasses I was apparently wearing, making the world instantly blurry. I put the glasses back on and looked down at myself, noticing I was 1 wearing the Ouran boys uniform and 2 I was very pale. I shakily stood up and looked around to find the others were still asleep. I froze when I saw my body leaning against Haruhi on the sofa I previously sat on.

"No way," I whispered in shock, before quickly clamping my hand on my mouth.

Why do I sound like shadow lord?!

I turned and rushed to the changing rooms, disoriented from the increased height. I pulled one of the curtains to the side to reveal one of the changing room mirrors. Looking back at me was a panicked shadow lord with wide eyes and disheveled hair. Now I don't see myself as much of a screamer but…

"I'M BLOODY SHADOW LORD!" I yelled, which sounded odd coming from Kyoya's voice.

I couldn't break eye contact with my, or Kyoya's, reflection as I heard the others wake up. I heard their freaked shouts as I mentally cursed Nekasowa for apparently giving us the wrong potion.

"Everyone calm down! I know this is so, so freaky but we need to find out who is who. Since apparently Nekasowa gave us a body swapping potion. I'll start, I'm Haruhi in Kaoru's body," I heard Kaoru try to make sense of what's happening.

"Well I'm Rossi and I guess I'm in Hikaru's body?" Hikaru stated unsurely.

"I'm Hikaru and I'm in Boss's body. I would've liked to be in Haruhi or Doggies body, though," Tamaki spoke up.

"I bet you would," I muttered.

"Kaoru here and being in a girl's body is both fascinating and really weird," Haruhi stated.

"No way, you get to be Haruhi!" Tamaki (Hikaru) protested.

"Yep."

"Who's in my body?" Hikaru asked.

"I'm in your body Rossi Chan!" Rossi said excitedly.

"Thank god," Hikaru sighed.

"I'm Tamaki, and I'm in what looks like Mori Senpai's body," Mori spoke up, in an oddly more lively tone of voice to what we're used to.

"Ok so who's in Honey Senpai's body?" Kaoru asked.

"Mori," Honey said simply, in an oddly toneless voice to what we're used to.

"Right so that just leaves Kyoya and Tomuru right?" Mori commented.

"Well, I'm Tomuru, which means that she's somewhere in my body," I heard my own voice speak in a sensible tone.

"That's so weird," I shuddered.

"Yeah where is Sugar?" Kaoru wondered.

"I'm in here you guys!" I called from the changing area.

"Why are you in the changing area?" I heard Kaoru call back to me.

"To see what I looked like, it's really freaky," I replied.

"Wow never thought I would hear Kyoya Senpai use the word freaky," Tamaki said.

I looked to the side to see the others walking in, each one finding their own mirror to inspect themselves.

"So you're Kyoya sis?" Hikaru summed up.

"Apparently, where the heck did Nekasowa go?" I responded.

"Well, he wasn't at the clubroom when we woke up," Kaoru supplied.

"Probably ran off when he realised his mistake," I guessed.

"By the way being a guy is really weird. It's like the weight from my chest is now in my trousers," I commented.

"I know what you mean it doesn't feel right," Kaoru agreed, inspecting himself in the mirror along with Hikaru.

"This is some freaky Friday nonsense, you know what the worse thing about this is?" I said.

"Guests can come in at any moment?" Kyoya in my body guessed.

"Crap I forgot all about that. No, it's that now I really need to go to the bathroom."

"Are you serious?" Tamaki laughed, along with Haruhi.

"Wow that kinda hurts when you're not in your Tweed bodies," I commented.

"Well, you are just going to have to hold it in," Kyoya spoke firmly.

"But-"

"Hold. It. In." Kyoya sent a death glare to me, my eyes glowing red.

"Wow I can be pretty badass when I wanna be," I commented.

Kaoru snorted, before chuckling along with Tamaki, Haruhi and Hikaru.

"I don't mean to laugh. It's just hearing you speak in Kyoya's voice and body is amazing!" Kaoru laughed.

"Holy Macaroni you're right!" I agreed, making myself laugh. This made me laugh even more since I could hear it in Kyoya's voice.

"I've never seen Kyoya smile and laugh so much," Haruhi commented.

"It's kinda weird seeing him this cheerful though," Hikaru pointed out.

"I think's it's weirder to see cupcake with an indifferent expression and Groot as Dad," I differed.

Kyoya sighed and walked out the changing room.

"Oi, where'd ya think you're going with my body?" I demanded, following after him.

"Putting up a sign to say that the Host club will be closed until further notice," He answered.

"Really? I wanted to see you do my errand girl duties," I whined.

"Please don't whine in my voice it's humiliating. I'd much rather lose a day's worth of profit than lose guests," Kyoya responded, placing the sign over the door handle.

"I don't like the way you're making me sound, it's too mature," I complained.

"Well, I hate the way that you are acting in my body. It's abnormal and as I've said before humiliating. If the guests saw me acting that way my reputation would be tarnished," Kyoya retorted bitterly.

"Hate is a bit much don't ya think?" I replied, feeling oddly hurt that I gave myself a scolding.

"I just don't like situations where I'm not in control, plus it's a bit too much seeing myself act so happy go lucky," Kyoya admitted.

"I think everyone's thoroughly weirded out by this situation. First things first we need to settle down and get used to…this. I'll make some tea while you get everyone back in the clubroom," I stated sensibly, smiling reassuringly down at myself.

"Now that sounds a little more like me."

I nodded before I headed to the kitchen. However, as soon as I entered I remembered something.

"Crap I still need the toilet!" I exclaimed, running straight through the clubroom.

"Sorryshadowlordbutireallycantholditin!" I rushed as I ran past the others, out the clubroom.

"Don't forget to use the boys bathroom not girls," I heard Kaoru call after me, through the laughter.

After I relieved myself…

Well, that was one of the most stressful, gross experiences of my life. I have an odd respect for guys now.

You saw it didn't you?

I had no choice dearest! I had to aim it and touch it and it was so, so freaky!

Bet you secretly enjoyed it.

Are you kidding? You try peeing as Kaoru it too stressful.

Just come back to the clubroom so we can tease you.

Meanie bean!

Still disturbed by what I had to do I headed back to the clubroom.

Only to find a group of guests crowded at the clubroom door.

"Oh god here we go," I muttered.

One of the girls noticed me and stomped forward looking pissed, with the rest of the irritated girls following behind.

"Kyoya can you explain what's going on?"

"Yeah why is the Host club closed?"

"There wasn't anything on the website!"

"What do you have to say for yourself?"

As they shouted at me I slowly edged my way through the crowd backwards towards the door.

"Ladies I'm incredibly sorry for the sudden closure, we will make it up to you I promise," I told them as politely as I could.

"That still doesn't explain why the host club is closed!"

"YEAH!" The rest of the girls agreed.

"Let's just say that we are not feeling ourselves today," I supplied, quickly turning the handle and stepping inside.

I put my weight on the door to stop the pissed off girls from getting in.

"Seriously can someone barricade this door before I get mauled in shadow lord's body?" I exclaimed.

"I'll use my princely charm to sooth our upset lambs down!" Mori suggested.

"Ok 1 you're Groot and 2 I don't think your princely charms are gonna calm these girls down," I pointed out.

"Oh," Mori sat back down.

"I'll help," Honey offered, picking up one of the sofas and walking towards me.

I quickly side stepped out the way before Honey put the sofa down.

"Well that works, thanks, Mori," I thanked, to which Honey patted my head having to stretch on his tiptoes to do so.

"You did wash my hands right?" Kyoya asked as I sat down
"Shadow lord I washed your hands more thoroughly than I have ever done in my life," I answered honestly.

"Good."

"Will you two please stop doing your brotherly love act in our bodies please, it's really embarrassing," Kaoru complained.

"Oh god, I can see Ranka's reaction now," I chuckled.

"Brother hold me, I feel so delicate in a girl's body," Haruhi pined; I didn't know whether to laugh or wretch.

"Don't worry Kaoru I've got you," Tamaki responded, holding Haruhi in one of the Tweeds flirty poses.

"Oh my god, you two!" Kaoru protested.

"HOW DARE YOU! YOU'RE GONNA PAY FOR THAT!" Mori exclaimed in Tamaki's usual dramatics.

"Holy crap, Mori Senpai's terrifying when he's angry!" Tamaki stated fearfully, quickly letting go of Haruhi.

"Thank goodness that's over," Kaoru sighed in relief.

"Have you ever shouted like that Groot?" I asked, looking over to where he sat as Honey, watching over Rossi who was stuffing his face with cake.

Hikaru was grimacing at his body kept stuffing cake in his mouth.
"Honey, you're kinda getting frosting in my hair," Hikaru noted, handing Rossi a napkin.

"Oops, sorry Rossi Chan," Rossi apologised taking the napkin.

"No I haven't," Honey answered my question, before watching over Rossi again.

"Rossi's gonna get a stomach ache when he returns to his body," I predicted.

"Hm," Kyoya agreed vaguely, his laptop on my lap as he continued his work.

"Oi get off my laptop!" I protested, smirking at him.

"I don't care if you are in my body, there is no way I will ever let you on my laptop," Kyoya stated firmly, glaring at me.

"You're very possessive ya now that?"

"Yes, with good reason."

"Fine, I'm gonna find Nekasowa and fix this mess. Ya coming Dearest?"

"Sure Sugar," Haruhi agreed, standing beside me with a big grin on her face.

"No Tweedledee, only Dearest can call me that," I scorned, grabbing Kaoru's arm and heading out the clubroom.

Luckily the crowd of angry girls were gone when we stepped out the clubroom.

"So where exactly is the Black Magic club?" I asked.

"Honestly? No idea," Kaoru answered.

"Dude you know this place more than I do."

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean I know where Nekasowa Senpai's club is," Kaoru argued.

"Well, then we'll just have to find it."

As we searched I decided to take advantage of this rare opportunity.

"Right what do you want me to say next?" I asked excitedly.

"Do an impression of…I dunno a cat. I can see Kyoya as a cat if he was an animal."

"Kay, let me get into character," I got on all fours and crawled beside Kaoru, as he was in fits of laughter.

"Mmmeeeeoooow!" I meowed, rubbing against Kaoru's leg.

"Ok stop or I'll need a piss and I do not want to experience that," Kaoru laughed.

"Fine, what shall I do next?" I asked eagerly, standing back up.

"How about not treating my body as a toy?" I heard my own passive aggressive voice behind me.

"How long have you been behind us?" I asked nervously, not wanting to look behind me.

"Oh just a few minutes after you left the clubroom, I figured you may get lost."

"That sounds ironic coming from my voice," I noticed.

"Yes is suppose it does, by the way…" Kyoya stepped towards and made my eyes go red again.

"Don't ever pull that nonsense again understand?" He growled.

"Tsk alright," I reluctantly agreed.

"Thank you, now the Black Magic club is this way," We followed my body through the hallway until we reached a pair of black double doors with two skull candles lit up on either side.

"Guess we've found the knitters club," I commented.

Kyoya knocked on the door. After a minute, a black haired girl that reminded me of Wednesday Addams opened the door to us.

"How can the Black Magic Club be of service to you?" she greeted in a soft-spoken tone.

"We would like to have a talk with Nekasowa and get the antidote to this potion he gave us," I explained.

"I see, you are part of the Host Club. Our president is busy at the moment, searching for that which you seek," The girl replied.

"And has he found it yet?" Kaoru asked.

"I'm afraid not."

"Great, just peachy!" I huffed.

"If he unable to find it we can create more to return you to your original bodies," The girl suggested.

"How long would that take?" Kyoya asked.

"It depends on the potion. At an estimate I'd say 1 or 2 days," The girl guessed.

"No way am I staying in Kyoya's body for that long!" I protested.

"The only alternative is to wait for the president to find the potion. I must go and help look for it now goodbye," The girl shut the door in our faces.

"Well isn't that just great," I exclaimed, annoyed by the current situation.

"C'mon let's just head back to the clubroom," Kaoru sighed.

So here we are, sitting in the clubroom waiting for Nekasowa to get his act together. The Tweeds started performing their brotherly love act again due to boredom, annoying Haruhi and Tamaki. Honey was still eating cake, making a mess of Rossi's school uniform, with Rossi and Mori watching over him. I was sitting upside down, despite Kyoya's glares, bored and wanting to go home.

"Found it!" Nekasowa declared, bursting into the clubroom.

"Ya definitely sure it's the right potion?" I asked skeptically.

"I'm sure," Nekasowa confirmed.

"Oh thank god," Kaoru stated in relief, as everyone crowded around the potion.

"Now with this one you must face the person in your body and maintain eye contact," Nekasowa instructed.

Everyone got into pairs or in some cases threes.

"I shall feed the potion one by one," Nekasowa continued, starting with Kaoru and Haruhi.

All eyes were on them as they took the potion. As soon as they did they fell to the floor.

"Are they ok?" I asked in concern.

"This is part of the process, they will return to their original bodies about…now," Nekasowa supplied.

At that moment Dearest and Kaoru bolted up awake.

"Did it work?" Mori asked hopefully.

"I'm back!" Kaoru cheered.

"Let's never do that again," Haruhi moaned.

"It works, now let's save the celebrations until we're back in our own skins," I said, eagerly wanting to get out of shadow lords body asap.

I watched everyone take a sip of the potion, with a couple people needing two sips to return to their bodies, before at last it was my turn.

"Ready?" Nekasowa asked.

"Yep," I confirmed, maintaining eye contact with Kyoya as instructed.

"Yes, the sooner I'm back the better," Kyoya answered.

Nekasowa held out a spoon with pink liquid out to me, which I eagerly took a sip from. Once Kyoya took a sip of the potion I instantly lost consciousness.

Once I woke up I saw Dearest, Rossi and the Tweeds looking down at me.

"That you Sugar?" Haruhi asked.

"Uh…I think so?" I answered, standing up.

I looked at my hands to find they were back to the beautiful brown colour.

"I'M BACK!" I cheered gleefully, hugging myself as I bounced up and down.


"I'm glad that whole fiasco is over," I heard Kyoya sigh in relief.

"Oh body I have missed you so!" I exclaimed dramatically.

"Right now that's over I think it's time we went home, I'm exhausted," Haruhi suggested.

"I couldn't agree more, Dearest. I think it's safe to say that I will not be drinking potions ever again," I stated, to which the others wholeheartedly agreed.


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