A Date with Viktor Krum
Mugen growls as he lands on the frozen Bulgarian ground. "Note to self," he thinks, "Kill Fuu and Jin when I get back to that other place."
"Are you all right, Hermione?" Viktor asks Mugen sweetly.
"No!" he growls as he smacks away Viktor's helping hand, "My butt is cold, wet, and in pain!"
"Well," he says slowly, "You don't have to worry about that soon. We're here."
Mugen's eyes fall on a castle that was not as big as Hogwarts, but it was amazing in its own right. "Damn!" Mugen shouts, "This is where you live?"
"Yep. This is Krum Castle."
"Wow. This place is bigger than Hokkaido Island!"
Viktor shakes his head at the over-exaggeration. "Your geographical knowledge is amazing."
Mugen waves him off. "Yeah, whatever" he says.
"Come on" Viktor says as he nudges Mugen forward, "I'll show the inside and introduce you to my parents."
Viktor sits nervously between his parents and his girlfriend. The afternoon had been… interesting. Hermione went through every room and gave a vulgar exclamation about the grandness of it. When he finally showed her her room, she climbed on top of the bed and kicked everything off of it as she jumped on the bed. Then, she plops on the bed and falls asleep.
"Hermione, you have to wake up," Viktor had said, "My parents want to meet you."
This had earned Viktor a swift kick in the face. "I'll see them when I wake up" she sneered, "Wake me up again, and I'll kick you in a place where it will really hurt."
With that, Viktor left her alone to sleep.
The meeting with his parents six hours later was not any better. Hermione said that his father's neck and jaw look like a toilet seat. She also said that she would screw his mother if his mother wasn't so stolid. Viktor had laughed and told his parents that this was Hermione's humorous way of complimenting them.
Now all four of them were sitting at the table. You could cut the tension in the dining room with a knife. Luckily, Hermione-or rather, Mugen, cuts them with his words.
"This crap tastes awful!" shouts Mugen as he throws the plate of vegetables into the table. "Where the fuck is the meat?"
"I beg your pardon" growls Mr. Krum, "but those vegetables came from the best gardens of Bulgaria!"
"Toilet mouth is a good nickname for you" says Mugen, "You're full of shit."
Mr. and Mrs. Krum gape at this comment. "That's probably how your mouths looked last night" snickers Mugen.
Viktor laughs nervously. "So Hermione" says Viktor, "I heard that you were a beater on the Gryffindor Quidditch. How about we have a one-on-one match tomorrow."
When Mugen heard Quidditch, he starts cheesing. "I can't wait" he says in false sweetness.
He couldn't wait until tomorrow. This guy is going to be sorry.
Next morning Viktor and Mugen went out to the Quidditch field behind Krum Castle. Most Quidditch players would be impressed, but Mugen was not. The only balls that he is worried about are the bludgers. Therefore, he didn't care about the goal post.
"Okay" states Viktor, "I'm a seeker, and you're a beater. The beater usually protects the seeker, so we really can't play…"
"I got a better idea" says Mugen, "How about you try to catch the snitch while I hit bludgers towards you?"
"That's not really how you play the sport, Hermione" answers Viktor skeptically.
"That's how I played" Mugen thinks to himself, then out loud, "Oh come on Viktor. You're fast enough to dodge them."
"Well, I guess you're right" he says.
"Good. Let's go."
What Viktor experiences in the next eight hours is broken bones, fifty-foot falls, and laughter from his maniacal, satirical girlfriend. At four' o'clock, Viktor lies warn out and bleeding on the field. Mugen stands over him with a beater's bat in one hand and the snitch in the other. "Looks like I won" he chuckles.
All Viktor could do is groan.
"I'm hungry" says Mugen. With that, he goes into the castle. Viktor does not understand why, but he is somewhat turned on by Hermione's new attitude.
Mugen sits with his legs wide open on one of the balconies. This week was fucking awesome! He has gotten more meat than three times his body weight. Hurling insults at his parents was hilarious. Stupid ass Viktor always changed the insults into something else, and his shit-for-brains parents always believed him. The absolutely best part, however, was beating Viktor to a bloody pulp in Quidditch for five days straight.
Today, Mrs. Krum gave Mugen one of her old dresses today. The only good thing about this is seeing a woman caress another woman's body, even though the other woman is himself. The dress itself is a pain to wear. Mugen ends up tearing the dress the moment he puts it on. Mrs. Krum, unable to win when it came to him, said it was all right. Now, he sat in the chair with the dress hiked up to his knees.
Viktor comes onto the balcony. He tries very hard to avert his eyes away from Hermione's exposed crotch. "Hello, Hermione" he stutters.
"This week has been crazy."
"Yeah. Isn't it great?"
"I have something that will make this week more special."
Viktor then presents something to Mugen.
"Merry Christmas Hermione"