Capoeira and Bertie Botts
"Good job Mugen!" shouts Fuu at the lunch table, "You got the girl in trouble."
"No I didn't!" shouts Mugen back, "That bird-face teacher got me in trouble, that son-of-a-bitch!"
"It's not very wise to insult Professor Snape when you're already in trouble, Mugen" says Jin as he eats his lunch.
"So you know his name, Jin?" says Mugen bitterly.
"He said his name" says Jin matter-of-factly, "Why wouldn't I know his name?"
Mugen starts screaming. "We're not gonna be here long enough to remember these people, let along knowing their names."
"Well, well, well" says a voice behind them, "I guess you're losing touch, Granger."
The threesome turns around and stares at the blond-haired boy with the two gorilla-like boys behind him. "You not as smart as everyone thinks you are, you mudblood!"
"I think he's talking to you" Fuu whispers to Mugen.
Mugen stands up and looks into the boy's cold eyes. "What the fuck did you just call me?" growls Mugen.
"I called you what you are" says the boy indignantly, "A filthy, little, mudblood!"
Suddenly, Mugen headbutts the boy, causing him to fly into the Slytherin table. "I don't know what 'mudblood' means, but it sounds like an insult, so you're gonna get your ass kicked!"
Mugen balances on his hands and does the helicopter on the blond-haired boy and every student who stood between him and the boy. The entire school is watching now. Most students were watching Hermione's onslaught; some perverted boys were getting a good view of Hermione's white panties. Fuu is standing on top of the Gryffindor table screaming "Hermione, stop!" at the top of Harry's lungs. Jin continues to eat lunch as though nothing is happening. When Mugen had beaten up 25 of the Slytherin table, he feels his limbs go limp. "Damnit!" cries Mugen as he falls to the ground.
The teachers from the high table ran towards the fallen Mugen. "Miss Granger!" cries an old female teacher with brown hair and glasses, "What do you think you're doing?"
"I'm defending my honor" says Mugen indignantly.
The teacher looks around the room. Half of the students are standing on the tables looking at the spectacle. A quarter of the Slytherins are babying their bruises. The blond-haired boy is being helped by the black-haired teacher with the long nose. The female teacher starts to scream.
"This is inexcusable behavior! Out of all of the students in Hogwarts, I would have never expected this from you, Miss Granger!" she screams. "150 points will be deducted from Gryffindor. There will also be talk about your expulsion!"
"Don't you think that is a little extreme, Professor McGonagall?" says the old male teacher with the long, white, beard.
"But Albus…" Professor McGonagall starts.
"Hermione has never done anything wrong in the past, as a matter-of-fact, Miss Granger has been, more or less, an ideal student. Let me talk to her and see what's wrong. Severus, take your students to Poppy. The rest of you organize the rest of the students. Afternoon classes will be canceled today."
Professor Dumbledore picks Mugen off of the floor and mobilizes his limbs. "Come with me, child" Dumbledore says softly.
Mugen looks at the professor as though he was crazy. He leaves with the headmaster, however, because he cannot see another way out. Professor Snape helps Draco up and leads a line of wounded Slytherins to the infirmary. Professor McGonagall looks at the rest of the students. "Get off the table!" shouts Professor McGonagall, "Prefects! Lead your houses back to their dormitories!"
Fuu gets off the table and stands next to Jin. As soon as she does, Professor McGonagall comes over to them. "Come to my office after you've led your house to the common room."
Not knowing what to do, Fuu and Jin gather all of the Gryffindor students and lead them to the common room.
Mugen groans as he plops down in front of the old man's desk. The old fart had stood in front of a statue of a bird and said "licorice wand", whatever the hell that is. "Oh look," says one of the portraits, "a mudblood girl."
Mugen was about to put his foot through the portrait when the old man passes him. "Physical force won't destroy that picture my dear" says the man as he sits down in his chair.
"It would've made my helluva lot happier" mutters Mugen as he sits back down in the seat.
"Do you want a lemon drop?" offers the old fart.
"Do you want to tell me what happened back there?"
"What's to say? The guy insulted me, and I kicked his ass."
"It sounded as though you didn't know what the term Malfoy used meant."
"I knew it was an insult, though."
"Hermione, you are one of the brightest students in Hogwarts. I am extremely surprised that after six years in Hogwarts, you don't know what a 'mudblood' is."
"I must've missed that class, professor."
Dumbledore just looks at Mugen. "Unfortunately," says the Headmaster, "You are now a danger to your classmates. For the moment, I'll have to ask you to go to down to Hagrid's cabin on the grounds while I think about what to do about this situation. Come on, I'll walk you down there."
Mugen rolls his eyes as he follows Dumbledore down to the grounds.
Fuu and Jin walk into common room. Professor McGonagall had barreled them with questions about the event, and they told her everything they knew. Everyone is talking about the event as Fuu and Jin sit in two chairs. "Damn that Mugen!" whispers Fuu, "He's really gotten us in trouble now."
"I really wish that boy would not have insulted him" sighs Jin.
"We don't even know if he actually insulted him." says Fuu.
"He insulted him" says Jin, "His attitude and his tone clearly showed that he was insulting him."
"I still don't think that Mugen should have beat him up," says Fuu, "Hey, maybe I can make it up with a gift."
"I really don't think that you should…" starts Jin, but Fuu had run over to Seamus.
"Excuse me," Fuu starts, "What kind of gift can you give a person whom you are apologizing to?"
"You joking, right?" states Seamus, "You're thinking of apologizing to Malfoy for Hermione? He deserved what he got!"
"I guess he did" says Fuu softly. A light bulb suddenly pops up in Fuu's head. She grabs Jin and runs towards their dorm room.
"Fuu, what are you doing?" groans Jin.
"I know the perfect gift for him" says Fuu with a broad smile on her face.
Most of the Slytherins are being tended to by Madame Pomfrey in the hospital ward. Professor Snape had requested that Draco have a private room so he could talk to him about the incident privately. Pomfrey was against the decision, but Dumbledore was all for it. Draco's private room is right next to the infirmary. Inside, Snape watches as Draco folds his arms and crosses his legs in his hospital bed.
"What is wrong with that girl?" shouts Draco, "When did she learn how to fight like that?"
"I don't think that the person who fought you is Hermione Granger" says Snape, "I think that is just a person inhabiting her body."
"Gee Severus, "says Draco bitterly, "I wish you would have told me that before I got my ass handed to me!"
"I wonder who is in her body though" says Snape to himself, completely ignoring Draco's comment.
"Why didn't you use Legitimacy on her?" exclaims Draco.
"I can't use Legitimacy on a student without just cause" says the professor quietly.
Draco looks at Snape with big eyes. "So," says Draco, "A quarter of your students are in the hospital, and that is not a just cause to use Legitimacy?"
All of a sudden, Madame Pomfrey comes into the room. "I'm sorry to interrupt" she says quietly, "but Harry Potter is outside the door. I tried to send him away, but he insisted on coming to see Draco."
Draco and Snape look at each other. "Send him in" says Snape. Then, Madame Pomfrey goes out to oblige Snape's order.
Fuu comes into the room. She sees Draco with his arms folded sitting in his bed and Professor Snape sitting next to the bed. "Good evening, Professor Snape" says Fuu sweetly, "I didn't expect you to be here."
"Of course you didn't, Potter" says Snape coldly, which takes Fuu aback.
"What are you doing here, Potter?" snaps Draco.
"I want to apologize for what…Hermione did to you," says Fuu quickly, "No matter what you said to her, you definitely didn't deserve that. I brought you a gift of…"
"Why are you being so nice to me?" exclaims Draco.
"Would you rather me be mean?"
"Are you trying to be funny with me?"
"No, I'm trying to be serious. You're the one asking me 'Why are you being so nice to me?'"
Seeing that this was going nowhere, Fuu puts the half-eaten box of Bertie Botts Every-Flavor beans on the counter of the bed. "Look," she says, "For tonight, let's just forget about our regular relationship and call it a truce for tonight. I'm sorry for what my friend did to you, and I hope you like this treat."
Fuu starts going out the door. "I'll see you later Draco" says Fuu, "I'll hope you feel better. Oh, bye Professor Snape. I'll sorry about your class." Finally, she leaves the room.
"I can believe this!" says Draco, "I haven't talked that civil to Potter since we first met!"
"The Bertie Botts are not jinxed" says Snape.
"Did you read his mind?" asks Draco.
"I did not."
"Remember, Draco, I'm trying to keep Dumbledore's trust. Randomly reading either Potter's mind or the mind of the person who has his body will not accomplish it. I am going to talk to Dumbledore and try to convince him to let me use Legitimacy on them."
"And if he refuses?"
"I'll do it anyway."
Snape starts to walk out of the room. "One more thing. The person in Granger body seems male; however, the person in Potter's body seems female."
When Snape leaves the room, Draco looks at the box of Bertie Botts. Finally, he sighs and starts to eat them.