Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again
1,000 sheep, 1,001 sheep, 1002- ok this is getting ridiculous! It feels like I've been in bed for hours and I cannot fall asleep. I got out of bed, grabbed my robe, and silently opened the bedroom door. I looked to see Raoul was still asleep sitting in the chair. I slowly closed the door behind me and quietly snuck into Christine's room. As I quietly closed the door, I looked behind me to see Christine was getting out of her bed. She gasped in fright when she saw me standing in front of the door.
"Brie, what's the matter," she asked with a concern voice.
I shrugged my shoulder and crossed my arms around my chest. "I couldn't sleep."
Christine sighed and softly said, "Neither could I."
I walked over to her and sat down on her bed. I laid my head on her shoulder and sighed. I can tell that this whole thing with Erik and his opera is stressing both of us out. Christine looked hurt that our Angel was not the way he was before.
"Brie, are you sure you are alright?"
I lifted my head up and said, "I don't know anymore. This whole thing is stressing me out and I don't think things will be the same or turn out for the best."
Christine looked deep in thought before saying, "I was planning to visit Father's grave. Would you like to join me?"
Something in the back of my mind was telling me to say no and tell Christine it was too dangerous to go to the cemetery. However, I was too tired to listen to that little voice and I agreed to go with her.
Christine told me to get dressed while she fetched the carriage for us. I went back into my room to get out of my nightgown and change into a beautiful black dress. After I was done getting dressed and grabbed my black cloak, I slowly opened my door and tiptoed past a sleeping Raoul. I walked outside to see Christine was waiting for me by the carriage.
As she helped me into the carriage, I heard her say to the driver, "To our father's grave, please."
I looked up at the coach driver and I had to rub my eyes to get the sleep out of them. I looked right into the driver's eyes and I could have sworn his eyes reminded me of someone. Maybe I was just really tired. I barely noticed that the carriage had started to move.
As Christine and I rode in the carriage on the way to the cemetery, I held a haunting melody in my head.
"In sleep he sang to me. In dreams he came. That voice which calls to me. And speaks my name…"
Before I knew it, my eyes slowly closed and I was in a deep sleep. Around 30 minutes or so, I felt the carriage come to a halt and I felt someone shaking my shoulder.
"Brieanna, it is time to wake up."
I gradually opened my eyes to see Christine was looking at me. I looked around us to see the carriage had stopped right in front of the cemetery. I started to get out of the carriage and walk into the cemetery. I heard Christine gasped and I looked at her to see what's wrong.
"I forgot the flowers. It's back in the carriage. I'll meet you at father's grave," she said.
I nodded my head and I started to walk through the cemetery. For some reason, I felt like I knew where Christine's Fathers grave was. Another haunting melody whispered into my ear and the words came out of my mouth.
"Little Lette thought of everything and nothing. Her father promised her and her sister that he would send them the Angel of Music. Her father promised them. Her father promised her."
I looked around the cemetery to see stone angels. It kind of freaked me out, because for some reason they reminded me of the Weeping Angels from the TV show Doctor Who. I looked at one tombstone and gasped. On the tombstone, was the last name Molitor…which is my real last name. So many different emotions hit me. I shook my head and continued to walk to the Daae's tomb.
"You were once my one companion; you were all that mattered. You were once a friend and father, then my world was shattered. Wishing you were somehow here again, wishing you where somehow near."
My thoughts went back to my parents and Amber. All of this commotion, I completely forgot about my family and my best friend. What kind of a daughter and friend am I?
"Sometimes it seemed, if I just dreamed. Somehow you would be here. Wishing I could hear your voice again. Know that I never would, dreaming of you, won't help me to do."
Do they know I have been gone for more than three months? Do they think I am dead or missing? Are… are they even looking for me?
"All that you dreamed I could, passing bells and sculpted angels. Cold and monumental, seem for you the wrong companions. You were warm and gentle."
My eyes started to water up as I continued to walk in the cemetery. This is really getting too much for me. I miss my Dad's warm hugs and his laughter. I remember when I was little, every time I was scared of the dark, he would let me sleep with him and Mom. I miss my Mom's cooking, her smile, and her advice every time I needed her help. I miss my best friend Amber too! Even though she loves pulling pranks on me, she was always there for me when I was down, and we would hang out all the time. I wish I was home right now!
"Too many years fighting back tears. Why can't the past just die? Wishing you were somehow here again, knowing we must say goodbye. Try to forgive teach me to live, give me the strength to try."
I slowly raised my head to see that I was in front of the Daae tomb. So many emotions were hitting me and I don't know how long I would be able to hold it in.
No more memories, no more silent tears. No more gazing across the wasted years. Help me say goodbye, help me say goodbye."
I sat down on the stairs and started to cry. I cannot do this anymore. Please God, if you can hear me… take away this pain from me. I cannot do this anymore… I want to go home.