I woke up with a groan, the memory of what happened returning gradually. I was lying on a couch in what appeared to be an empty apartment I didn't recognise. I stood up trying to figure where exactly I was when I realised it did not matter; I just had to get out. I needed to find Damon, I would tell him everything... everything I had done since I had turned my screwed up emotions back on. Hopefully he would understand... maybe he could help me... fix me.
I should have done it weeks ago but the fear of how he would react had stopped me. With determination I had not felt in a while coursing through me I headed for the door, but just as I reached for the handle I heard someone approach me from behind.
I turned, fangs extended, poised to attack, only to faced with Elena smiling a sad smile at me. "If you expect me to apologise for..." my voice trailed off as I looked into the doppelgangers eyes, "You're not Elena." I finished.
The sad smile vanished from her face as she laughed, a cold hard laugh. "He said you were perceptive. Hell, I even fooled the Salvatore's longer than you and they each claim to love Elena." Her grin grew wider at the brief look of pain that covered my features. "That's right..." she added, "You think Damon loves you. Well I'm sorry to tell you sweetie, the only person Damon Salvatore loves is my carbon copy."
"Hello Katherine." I said, my voice taught with anger. In truth it was obvious who she was even if I had never met her before, as I kept my eyes on her I realised what it was that had given her away. Her eyes. They were cold and dark, almost void of emotion... the eyes of a killer, and while I may think Elena is many things, a killer is not one of them.
"Hello Jessica... yes, I know who you are." She replied to my unspoken question. She stood still, watching me, as if she were trying to figure something out.
"Well," I began, inching my way backwards, "it was so lovely to meet you, but I really have to go." I reached once more for door handle behind me but instead found myself on the other side of the room pinned to the wall.
"Sorry, but you're not going anywhere." Katherine said, although she sounded anything but sorry.
I pushed her off me, "I don't even know you. Why are you doing this? I have to get back to..." my voice trailed back as I thought of Damon. Was he worried about me? Was he looking for me?
"Yes," Katherine spoke in a mocking voice, "I'm sure you need to get back to your precious friends who put Elena's life above everybody else's. But unfortunately I have been compelled to keep you here."
I let out a frustrated sigh, "What the hell does he even want from me? And why are you here with him? From what I have heard you and Klaus aren't exactly bosom buddies."
She stepped back, annoyance showing on her face, "Sweetie I would love to be anywhere else right now, of course I've also been compelled to stay within the confines of this apartment."
I let that bit of information sink in, she couldn't leave. "Fine," I stated, "I'm getting a drink." I started walking towards the middle of the room before pausing. "Is there actually anything to drink here?" I asked her over my shoulder.
Katherine threw her eyes upwards as she walked past me towards the kitchenette. I didn't pause in my actions, I quickly reached out and snapped her neck. The original doppelganger fell to the floor in a heap and I sped out of the apartment.
Moments later I was at the boarding house. As I approached it my extra hearing picked up Elena sobbing so I stopped and listened in... could she possibly be this upset over me being taken?
"But Bonnie is dead..." I heard her cry to someone... Stefan I realised when I heard his voice answer her. "I... I don't know..." He stumbled through his words trying desperately to find the right thing to say.
I stood frozen in shock. Bonnie was dead? How? Why? What had happened while I was gone? I was pulled from the many questions racing through my mind by the sound of a very loud slap.
"How could you Damon?" Elena cried, "You knew that she could die and you let her face Klaus on her own."
My body went numb, Damon let Bonnie die? That couldn't be right. I was the monster, not him.
"I had to do something Elena," I heard Damon explain, his voice so low I had to strain my hearing. "Klaus in Alaric's body, none of us saw that coming. I should have listened to Jessica, she told me something was off about him. He knew that Bonnie could die if she went up against him, so he attacked her... he attacked her and waited for her to die. He needed to see her die."
As Damon kept talking, kept explaining I suddenly knew what he was saying, what he and Bonnie had done.
"He needed to see her die," Damon repeated, emphasising the word see, "He needed to believe it."
It went quiet for a moment, I heard someone tapping buttons before Bonnie's voice filled the room. "I'm so sorry 'Lena," She rushed, "you're reaction had to be real or Klaus would never believe it." Elena's sobs of grief turned to cries of relief.
What the hell had I missed? I heard Stefan tell Elena to talk to her friend, that he needed a moment to talk with his brother. Stefan led Damon to the driveway, away from prying ears. Of course they were only worried about human ears, not realising I was standing not 15 feet from where they stood.
"What is it Stefan? It's been a long night and I still haven't heard from Jessica and I'm starting to worry. I've tried ringing her so many times since she ran off, but she hasn't even been home." I could hear the complete exhaustion in his voice and I almost ran to him there and then... to throw my arms around him, tell I'm safe... explain everything and pray he forgave me.
But I didn't.
I stayed where I was, stayed in the shadows that concealed me... watching, listening. "It will just take a minute," Stefan insisted. Damon sighed at his brother, "Fine, hurry up."
"I know you love Jessica," Stefan began.
"Of course I do." Damon interrupted, his voice softening. I felt my heart soar within me at his words. Stefan continued as if his brother hadn't spoken. "However, her question last night... the way you've been lately..." Stefan paused, unsure if he wanted to speak the words that lay on his tongue, but he did, "Are you still in love with Elena?"
You could hear a pin drop in the silence that followed his question. I subconsciously leaned forward, awaiting his reply of denial. After what seemed like an eternity Damon's voice, although low and pained... rang out very clear.
"I don't... I do love Jessica brother, but I ..." he paused sighing, "I still love Elena as well. I have tried to fight it but it cannot be denied."
I couldn't contain the single sob that escaped my throat as Damon's words sliced through my chest, forcing my heart to plummet so deep. Both Salvatore's spun at the sound, at last realising where I stood. Damon raced over, stood before me, his hands on my shoulders.
"Jessica... I didn't mean... you don't..." he took a deep breath, trying to focus on his words, "I love you Jessica. I have never loved anyone the way I love you... but with Elena, it's different." His eyes were a mixture of sadness and pleading... begging me to hear his words.
Stefan was all but forgotten as we stood facing each other. My voice was as empty as my heart as I answered him, "I love you Damon Salvatore, you changed my life... you saved it, more than once. But you are in love with Elena as well... and last night while you were bravely fighting to protect her..." I reached up, placed him hand on his cheek, "Do you really think I would just run off when Klaus was there to kill innocent people, to kill Bonnie?"
I could see confusion in his eyes at my words. "No Damon, I did not just run off. I went as far as the car park to clear my head, get my thoughts in order. Alaric found me... well I suppose Klaus found me, he snapped my neck. He took me to some apartment and he had Katherine try to hold me there. I was able to get behind her, snap her neck and escape... not half an hour ago. I came straight here."
A look of shock covered him, "Klaus had you?" he whispered the words so softly.
"Why?" Stefan's voice asked, reminding us that he was there. I stepped back from Damon, looking from one Salvatore to the other. "That's the million dollar question, isn't it?" I said, filled with self pity, "After all... who am I?"
I started to leave but Damon grabbed my arm. "Please Jessica..." I smiled up at him, a pained smile, and reached up to kiss him gently. "I need to sort some things out Damon."
Still his grip held me, "Please let me go." I breathed the words against his lips. He leaned forward until his forehead was touching my own, he kissed me back, his hand dropping from my arm. I stepped back once more, throwing him one last look.
Please let me go. I could see on his face he was trying to figure out the same thing I was. Did I mean now... or for good?