It's later now/ Distance


Life comes with pain. That's the deal. It's a simple fact, like a rule of nature that you cannot defy. Most of us meet the pain early on, and you can either let it define you, or you learn to swim against the tide and grow wiser and stronger. It may seem unfair since when the struggles start, it always seems like whoever is facing them is too innocent, but the trick is, acceptance. Accepting that the universe is cruel to everybody, and in a twisted sick way, it kind of gives a little comfort knowing that everyone is treated unfairly. The beauty lies within realizing that through the darkness, light comes out, in the midst of grief, happiness blooms, and after the rain, the sun will rise again.

Meredith Grey wasn't one to sleep easily, and even though she wasn't a morning person, she always found herself stirring from early dawn, and the especially heavy Seattle rain didn't help that night. All that with the eerie gut feeling was what drove her to look out and see a pale familiar ghost on her front porch. There she was, Amelia Shepherd, standing drenched in the icy cold pouring rain, in attempt to numb herself. Meredith hurried out with a blanket to cover the soaked, woman, Amelia's body was freezing and her skin was almost transparent to the veins underneath. Mer wondered if she had been crying, the raw droplets rolling down her cheek were unidentifiable between rain and silent tears.

"What are you doing? You're going to get sick!" Meredith reprimanded as she wrapped the blanket on Amelia and coached her inside. "Amelia what the hell? It's 5 am and it's your wedding day, Owen would be crazy worried about you!" she scolded some more when they were inside

"I left a note," Amelia cleared her throat, only then realizing how cracked her voice sounded

"Really? What did it say? 'hey I'm going to sit in the midst of a storm for a while, love Amy' ? I thought you two were good, what happened, do you not want to-" Meredith's rant was cut short

"I miss him," she confessed in a tone a little louder than a whisper, "every second of every day, I miss him. He really loved you, we shouldn't have disregarded you, I was only glad he was getting laid," she managed to joke even in the middle of an emotional crisis. Meredith sat down slowly next to Amelia on the couch and gave her a semi-hug. They would have their disputes every now and then, but only they understood each other's affliction and shared it. "It's raining today," a concerned chuckle was forced out of her throat

The wedding was going to be beside their new spacious reconstructed house. It had a strategic location with a five minute drive from the hospital and a two minute walk to the lake. It was a beautiful two story house with 5 bedrooms and a homey feel. Of course it was nothing like that when they bought it, in fact, it was a complete wreck, but Owen has always had quite a creative vision when it came to what he wanted the place he lived in to look like.

"So, what do you think?" He asked dubiously after he finished explaining with vivid gestures what he planned to do with it

Although Amelia barely understood the outlines of what he was saying, but just watching him talk passionately about their new home made her equally excited, "I love it," she replied with a comforting grin

"Really? You don't think the mirror door on one side of the living room is a little too over the top?" he raised his eyebrows, expecting her snarky comment

"Hmm, no," the tip of her mouth twitched slyly, "I think it's sexy." She scrolled on to him

"This is amazing, Mia, I can't wait to start a life with you," he held her waist firmly yet lovingly when she was close enough

"Do you mean you can't wait until we've done it in every room?" she smirked and gave him her best mischievous eyes while she tucked his shirt

"Well, practically, we did pitch in with the best offer, I think we can call this ours," he leaned in and was disappointed when she teased further

"So.." she traced light lines between the freckles on his arms, "You want to start now?"

"Amelia, you have to talk to me, what is it?" April tried to gently calm down the frantic bride, pacing nervously across the room, mouthing 'I can't do this' and freaking everyone around her out

"Do you want to bail? My car is right there, it's only been 4 months since you were engaged, we can say it's postponed!" Arizona took a guess which earned her a frightening stare from Amelia

"Ok, stop, STOP!" Maggie held her sister and made her sit down, "Look, just say it, say what you want and it'll happen."

Amelia alternated her scared little girl eyes between the three bridesmaids and saw them all nod, "I want Derek to walk me down the aisle," she sighed and begged for a miracle from the God she didn't believe in. Richard had offered to do the honor, but she respectfully refused, he was her mentor and friend and was already a father figure to her two sisters in law, it felt too weird.

They glanced at each other, their hearts breaking and their tongues speechless. Arizona gathered her courage and approached Amelia. She held her hands tightly and looked straight into her eyes, "I know. I lost my brother too, and what made it worse is that he told me he really wanted to be at my wedding. You should take a minute, and take a deep breath."

A minute later, Charlotte and Sheldon crashed the party and walked straight to hug Amelia. Charlotte received her first, telling her how she was so proud of all she has done and all she has come through, professionally and personally, she congratulated her and assured her about the perfect man she found. Charlotte was naturally Amelia's maid of honor, except now she regretted not throwing a rehearsal dinner. Sheldon was next.

"Derek would have loved this, don't you think?" Sheldon started with shrink talk, then he took a breath himself and reminded himself to be a friend, "Do you want me to walk you down the aisle?"

"How could you be so good to me?" Amelia felt it horrible to have a man who had feelings for her to walk her down the aisle to the love of her life

"You're my best friend. I lost the love of my life to cancer, but you don't have to lose yours, you deserve this Amelia, you deserve happiness."

She nodded sweetly at everyone, though still not finding a solution to the empty space next to her. She thought she wanted a big white wedding, it was what she dreamt of when she was a little girl, even after her dad died, she held on to that, thought it would be something normal and pretty to hide all the ugliness. Also after she grew up, she still loved weddings, it was a beautiful thing when people make that commitment, however she realized it was keeping it that mattered. Therefore, when it came to it, she found herself wanting a small cute wedding; Meredith, Addison, their close hospital friends and some of Owen's family, and their precious Dani as the flower girl. Evelyn and Carolyn being their best fans had volunteered to do the planning as they wished and Amelia happily gave up the responsibility despite the control freak that is in her.

Owen came in and asked everyone to give them a moment. Amelia's eyes widened, this time with guilt and fear. Owen however was mesmerized by his gorgeous bride to be, his eyes immediately filled with water. "Mia, wow.. you look.. you're the best woman on earth." Her dress was a simply designed beige petite dress that defined the perfect curve of her body.

"Oh my god, were you already waiting? Owen, I'm so sorry, don't leave, no just go out again, I'll come, it's okay, you go.." Amelia trailed off, genuinely scared he might call it off because she hesitated for a minute. She gawked back at how sexy her hopefully-near-future husband looked in a black tux.

"I didn't go out there yet," recognizing the agitation she was in, he paused a minute before continuing casually, "The rain stopped you know, the sun came out, it's turned out to be a sort of beautiful day. It reminds me to when we went hiking."

"The weekend after you proposed," she conversed back, her anxiety slowly fading with the memory coming back to her, "You stopped at the lake to fish, you were horrible," she grinned jokingly

He chortled and nodded in surrendering agreement, "Yeah, I was. It's a Shepherd natural thing isn't it?" he knew all about how her Dad wanted to take his only boy fishing all the time, and her being daddy's girl and jealous of her brother, she insisted on tagging along and her Dad wouldn't have the heart to refuse. She barely remembered it, but she had a picture of the three of them holding a big fish in her wallet (well, she was holding her dad's pants).

"Yeah.. I guess so.." the obvious predicament crawled back to her mind

"We should walk down the aisle together," he said like it was deciding pizza vs. Thai. She beamed like she heard the greatest epiphany ever thought of and joyously accepted the generous resolution.


"Amelia Shepherd, I am clueless to how I get to be with someone as full of fire and courage as you are, I am filled of gratitude every second as I remember how you became the woman of my dreams, I promise to remind you of that every second I get to. I will be there no matter what happens, I promise to give you all I've got through whatever may come our way, I promise to dedicate myself to be with you for as long as we both shall live"

Her eyes couldn't hold the tears of happiness back, so she let them gladly glide down on her stretched cheeks by the wide toothy smile she already had. It was her turn.

"I am grateful for your existence in my life, I've already seen your patience and your faithfulness, in addition to the annoying habits that I grew to admire as well. I love you, all of you. So I promise, to take you, my best friend and my one true love, I promise to encourage and inspire you through good times and bad, and love you unconditionally through all of our adventures together, us and our children."

Owen, being Owen, he was memorizing every move and blink that Amelia was making, so he couldn't miss the plural use of children and her quick glimpse down to her still flat belly. He had no self control in that moment as his hands instinctively slid on her body and picked her up in a tight embrace. She giggled and hugged him back. He put her down seconds later when the priest fake coughed and the small crowd settled down. It was less than a split second after they were pronounced husband and wife when Owen returned to his affection and kissed his captivating wife.

If I ever were to lose you
I'd surely lose myself
Everything I have found dear
I've not found by myself

Try and sometimes you'll succeed to make this man of me
All my stolen missing parts I've no need for anymore

I believe and I believe 'cause I can see
Our future days, days of you and me

"Really Mia?" he pressed her close to him by the small of her back

She gazed into the enchanting deep blue eyes in front of her, and she hadn't thought she could love him more but at that moment she did, "I'm only 3 weeks along, but yeah, we could be having a baby."

"We're having a baby!" they giggled together and she appreciated his reassuring enthusiasm

Back when I was feeling broken
I focused on a prayer, you came deep as in the ocean
Its something I can't hear

All the complexities and games, no one wins but somehow they're still played
All the missing crooked hearts they may die but in us they live on

I believe and I believe 'cause I can see
Our future days, days of you and me

"Even if I miscarry or make only brainless babies, do you promise you'll be there?"

"What are you talking about? I'll be there even if you're dragging me to hell, you're my heaven." He restored her confidence before returning to his thrill, "Do you want it to be a girl or a boy?"

"A boy," she pondered, "so he'd be exactly like his dad, and have strikingly attractive red hair, and be called ginger at school.."

"I see our son will have to live up to very high expectations," he chuckled

When The hurricanes and cyclones rage
When winds turn dirt into dust
When floods they came and the tides they raised, ever closer became us

All the promises at sundown, I met them like the rest
All the demons used to come round I'm grateful now they've left

So persistent in my ways, Angel I am here to stay

No resistance, no alarms
Please this is just too good to be gone

I believe and I believe 'cause I can see
Our future days, days of you and me
You and me
Days of You and Me

"You want to get out of here and make more babies?" she whispered suggestively into his ears, and he couldn't be more relieved she was the one to ask.

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