Free cookies to anyone who can guess which tall, dark, and sexy - extremely sexy - person it was that snuck their way into my dreams last night, causing me to wake up with giant drool stains on my pillow… Anyone?
Well, if you guessed Patch from Hush Hush by Becca Fitzpatrick, you are sadly mistaken… At least for last night's dreams. At least the dark-haired boy that crept into my slumber was hotter than Patch.
Because the tall, dark and sexy guy that slipped into my - totally inappropriate - dreams was Mr. Quiet himself, Fang.
Why - why - did he have to be so damn irresistibly drool-worthy? And, dear God, those abs - let us indulge in a minute's silence for fangirl's world wide who are currently salivating and/or squealing - are so... so... Well, it's like he's trying to torture me! Death by abs, I tell you!
Uh, never mind...
Let us just pretend I never said anything about dirty dreams involving Fang. I said nothing - nothing! - of the sort. Okay? Okay. Case closed.
I've been refusing to talk to The Hypocrite. He's been given the ultimate Max Cold Shoulder - he hasn't heard from, and has barely seen, me all day. I refuse to talk to The Hypocrite, and I have been ignoring him all day.
Let's hear it for the oh-so cheesy, yet oh-so effective, silent treatment, people!
Yep, evil at its purest.
Luckily for him, though, I found out from a little birdie - give it up for telephones! - that Angel slept over at a friend's house last night, thankfully not being there to witness the gag worthy grope-fest I had to witness. If she had, I would have added planning my brother's funeral to my busy schedule - right after "accidentally-on-purpose kind of sort of not really maybe squishing a certain big brother of mine with a cow".
...No, I don't spend my free time plotting people's demises.
Anyway, Ari - I mean, The Hypocrite - has been doing everything in his power to try to convince me to talk to him, but as we all know, I'm not the most flexible person around. Okay, I'm a stubborn brat.
But can you blame me? No, didn't think so.
The only thing that kept me from blowing up and completely annihilating a certain hypocrite with it was thoughts of Fang. I know how cheesy and cliché that sounds, but it's true. He just gets me, and I can be the real me around him.
It's just - for lack of a better word for it - nice.
Oh God, I never thought I would see the day when The Great Maximum Ride went all hallmark on everyone.
Mark down this day in history kids.
I spent most of the day keeping quiet and dodging Ari. Today we were supposed to pick out our jerseys after school, and the oh-so helpful Iggy let it slip that Fang has been number 13 every year and everyone knows that that jersey is off limits.
Well, of course, me being the test-the-water, push-people's-buttons type of gal, I just so happened to make sure I got to coach's room before everyone else, and sweet-talked my way into getting - you guessed it - numero 13!
The best part is, we didn't have to stick around after we got our jerseys, so we were free to go after we got a uniform. Meaning Fang wouldn't know who had stolen his special jersey 'til game day. Evil mastermind or what?
He is going to be so pissed when he finds out. I can't wait to see him, all mad with his eyebrows all scrunched together, and his nostrils flaring a bit, and his-
Oh my god what I am doing? I sound like some obsessed Fangirl.
Please ignore that little slip up there.
After stopping by my locker for a few things, I made my way towards the exit, extremely giddy from the prank I was currently in the process of pulling off.
As made my way out of the doors, a glimpse of strawberry blonde hair caught my eyes. My curiosity got the better of me. I turned around and spotted two very familiar pyros. Gazzy and Iggy.
Extremely excited, I skipped - yes, skipped; that's how excited I was over this prank - over to Gazzy and Iggy. I was nearly bursting at the seams with my excitement, and I couldn't hold it any longer.
I stood there grinning like an idiot for a few moments before they broke away from their latest bombing scheme and took notice of me.
They stared at me in shock for a few moments before Gazzy broke the silence.
"Um, Max, are you feeling okay? Why are you grinning like that? Should I be worried? I should, shouldn't I?" he asked, taking a slight step backwards and putting some distance between us.
I didn't answer at first, and my grin stretched even farther.
Every trace of happy emotion was quickly whipped off their faces and was replaced with a look sheer terror.
I could only imagine what was going on through their mind.
Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. Oh God.
I'm too young to die! I haven't even written my Will yet!
Who will get all my cherished items?
I never got to eat that piece of pizza that I have had hidden under my bed for a few months now!
And what about-
MY BOMB SUPPLIES!
I stood there and kept quiet for a few moments longer before I finally decided to put them out of their misery and tell them what had got me all bubbly inside. And outside.
I smirked yet again and said in a majorly superior voice, "I have just pulled off a brilliant beyond brilliant prank and I probably shouldn't be telling you this but I am just too dang excited to keep this all to myself!"
They both stared at me, urging me to continue.
"Guess what I just got?" I said in a sing-song voice, practically jumping up and down in my spot.
"Um, seven to life in prison?" Iggy suggested. Sad thing was, he was actually serious.
I huffed in fake annoyance and answered, equally sarcastic, "No! I got off early because off good behavior, duh!"
Gazzy just rolled his eyes at our infantile banter and Iggy just clicked his fingers in a 'z' formation, snapping his hand up like one of those sassy girls. He then put a hand on his hip, cocked it, and said, sounding absolutely ridiculous, "Well, honey, you ain't got nothin' on me, 'cause I can mess that pretty face of yours up."
I have to say, he looked completely ridiculous, and I couldn't hold back my chuckle. Actually, I couldn't hold back my hysterical laughter.
"Iggy? Why is that always your response when someone asks 'Guess what I got'?" Gazzy asked Iggy, who still had his little mean girl stance going on.
"Because," he answered slowly, as if Gazzy were a child, "One day it will be the right answer and I am going to rub it in all your faces!"
"Right, Igster, you keep telling yourself that. Anyway, now that we have learned 'Miss America's' logic over here-" Gazzy pointed to Iggy as he spoke, who just so happened to be checking out his nails; there is seriously something wrong with that boy "-what was it you got, again?"
"Oh, yeah!" I cried, facepalming. "Jeez, I almost forgot!"
I quickly did a 360 scan of the area, making sure no one was around to spy on us before I slowly and discreetly pulled out the jersey and held it up for them to see, grinning smugly.
You should have seen their faces when they realized whose jersey I had claimed as my own. Both of their eyes bugged out of their sockets, and they looked like one of those toys where you squeeze the animal or person and the eyes pop out.
It was quite the sight.
Another proud smile broke out on my face as I quickly stuffed the jersey back into my backpack.
Iggy was the first to speak, and his voice was terrified. "Fang is going to kill you! No one has ever dared to take his jersey! Everyone knows it is one hundred percent off limits! When he finds out he is going to be so friggin' pissed, and I am not going to stick around for that."
"Yeah, I'd hate to be the poor sucker to get in the way of Fang when he's on one of his rampages. He is kind of like a Gothzilla, destroying everything in his path," Gazzy chimed in.
"Well, it's not my fault! I'm new here; I couldn't have possibly known number thirteen was his," I said, blinking at them earnestly, innocence on my face.
They both gave me knowing looks, Iggy snorted derisively, and Gazzy quirked his eyebrow at me, but he didn't say anything.
Iggy, however, game me a cut-the-crap-Max look, and said, "Max - I told you this morning that Fang was always number 13. Always!"
"Oops! Did you really?" I asked, eyes wide. "Hm, must have slipped my mind." I couldn't, for the life of me, hide the evil grin that slowly made its way on my face.
"Fang is going to kill you, Max," Iggy repeated, "I hope you know that. Prepare to feel the wrath of Gothzilla."
"Whatever! He deserves it. It's pay back for last night," I stated under my breath, but they still heard me.
"What do you mean?" they both asked simultaneously.
"Nothing, he tricked me and I fell for it. Now, I'm getting even," I replied with an evil grin, and they both subconsciously cringed back.
I started cackling manically and rubbing my hands together, like an evil villain.
They looked at me as if I had finally lost it.
Well, guess what, guys? I lost it a long time ago.
"Remind me never to get on your bad side," Iggy said, still backing away from me.
This was going to be fun... I couldn't wait until tomorrow night's game.