Shadows & Roses

Feelings

I opened my eyes to the sun streaming through Kyoya's windows. I was feeling much better than I had the day before. The day before had mostly been me sleeping with a couple bowls of vegetable soup in-between. Kyoya made sure I took my meds right on time and had crashed on the couch in the downstairs part of his room. I had tried to convince him that I would've been fine on the couch or even the guest room but he had insisted.

Something seemed off with him. Something I couldn't quite put my finger on. He watched me closely when I was eating or taking my meds and I had even woken up to him staring at me while I slept. He had played it off like he was looking for something in the drawer next to the bed but I had known that he'd been watching me.

I laid there for a few moments before finally getting up and walking to my bag. I hadn't practiced the previous morning and I felt the need to move. After 2 days in bed I was stiff and wanted to do something. Unzipping it I pulled out a pair of sweatpants and a loose tank top and headed to the bathroom.

After a quick use of the bathroom I changed into the clothes, took the meds that sat beside my bed and walked back out, digging out my iPod from my purse. I found the play list I used when I was working out and began to stretch.

When I was warmed up enough I stood up and began to work on practiced routines that I used when my usual equipment was available. However I made sure to keep quiet as Kyoya was still asleep downstairs. He was a pain in the ass to wake up and I didn't feel like having to deal with his death glare.

I was halfway through my routine when I felt my head start to spin and my stomach gave a lurch. However I shook it off. I contributed it to a side effect of the meds and continued on.

I was nearly done when Kyoya walked up the steps.

"Sora! What do you think you're doing?" he snapped looking at me.

"I'm working out. What does it look like I'm doing?" I snapped back.

"You can't do that! You just got out of the hospital yesterday! Now you need to get back into bed!" he said.

"Look Kyoya I'm fine! Nothing is going to happen to me just because I…I…" but my words trailed off as another dizzy spell hit me again and my stomach stirred intensely.

I felt my knees drop out from under me and Kyoya jumped forward grabbing me.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"B-Bathroom." I said clapping my hand over mouth.

"Oh god." he groaned and quickly pulled my partly limp form towards the bathroom.

He managed to get me to the toilet in time but with my head swimming in circles I missed. A moment later I was covered in vomit. It was even in my hair.

"Damn." Kyoya cursed after I had finished heaving into the toilet. Luckily it was only the first wave that had missed. Afterwards Kyoya had been able to direct my face in the right direction for the second and third waves.

He sighed and looked at me, "Can you stand up?"

"Um…maybe." I replied and he carefully helped me up but my knees gave up before I could even straighten them.

"I'll take that as no. Well we need to get you cleaned up and there's no way you'll be able to do it yourself in this state. Let me go find Fuyumi. She'll come help." he replied.

"Okay." I nodded.

Kyoya sat me against the wall and hurried out of the bathroom. Sitting there covered in vomit he seemed to take forever even thought it was probably only a few moments before he appeared again.

"Did you find Fuyumi?" I asked.

"No. It seems that she's left to go to some commoner restaurant with Tamaki and in her excitement left her phone." he sighed.

I looked at him confused as to why Tamaki and Fuyumi would be going to a commoner's resturant but he shook his head.

"It's a long story. It also seems that the maid left for the store. And with Haruhi ill I guess I'll have to be the one to clean you up." he said.

My eyes shot open and I shook my head, "No. I'll do it myself."

I turned over and got to my hands and knees. I managed to get myself part of the way up using the sink for support but my knees gave out again.

"Be reasonable Sora. You can't do this. Now let me help you." he replied.

I tried to stand again but failed.

With a defeated sigh I sunk to the floor, "Fine."

"Very well." he sighed and walked over to the tub.

I watched as he started the water, making sure it was warm enough before walking over to me. He lifted me up like he had the previous day. He carried me over and sat me down on the toilet seat.

"Arms up." he instructed.

"I think I can undress myself thank you." I replied glaring at him, my face heating up.

"Right. Well when you're done wrap this around yourself and call me. I'll help you into the tub." he said and handed me a towel before exiting the bathroom.

I pulled my tank top and sweats off along with my bra and underwear before wrapping the towel around me as best as I could. Once I was sure I was covered I called for Kyoya who walked in with a cup in his hand.

Keeping his eyes averted he sat the cup down on the edge of the tub and walked over. A moment later he picked me up and made his way to the tub. He had changed into jeans and a sleeveless shirt and as he carried me I saw the muscles move under his skin. He wasn't overly muscular by any means but his arms were far from flabby or thin which in my opinion was better. I hated when guys had too many muscles. I preferred them fit and tone instead.

I was suddenly drawn out of my thoughts about Kyoya's arms as he began to lower me into the warm water.

"Is the temperature okay?" he asked still not looking.

"Yeah. It's fine. Thanks." I replied.

He nodded and reached for the cup, "Lean your head back." he said scooping up water.

"What are you doing?" I asked looking at him.

"You're obviously weak so I'm going to help you wash your hair. That is unless you'd like to remain with vomit in your hair." he said.

"Fine." I replied.

I wanted to protest but I was feeling very tired all of a sudden so reluctantly I tilted my head back. He carefully poured the water over my head and began to wet my hair. After a few minutes he reached over and picked up a bottle of shampoo.

I sighed as his hands began to massage the suds into my scalp. I hadn't had someone wash my hair for me in a long time and it felt good. After he was happy that my hair was clean he rinsed my hair and coated it in conditioner. While that sat he picked up a washcloth.

"Move the towel so I can wash your back."

I did as he asked, dropping the towel down to my waist so my back was expose, my knees pulled up with my arms around them to hide my chest. Dipping the cloth in the water he rubbed a bar of soap onto it before rubbing it on my back.

"Are you feeling any better?" he asked.

"I'm not sick to my stomach anymore. I'm just sleepy." I replied.

"It's probably the medication. My brother warned me it may make you sick. It's a relatively new drug and also causes weakness. However it's most likely the antihistamines that are making you tired." he said.

"Why didn't I feel any of this yesterday then?" I asked.

"Because you slept all day is my guess. Your overexertion this morning could've had something to do with it as well."

"Mmm." I replied enjoying the feeling of him washing my back.

Once he was done with my back I pulled the towel around me again and Kyoya gently wiped off my face and the top of my chest. After that he rinsed the conditioner from my hair and drained the tub. Before he left to get me dry clothes he handed me a dry to towel to wrap around myself.

When he was out of the room I changed out the towels and a few minutes later he knocked before coming in. I was lifted again and sat on the closed toilet before he turned his back, allowing me to pull on the dry clothes and wrap a towel around my wet hair.

"You know I could try walking." I said as Kyoya carried me towards the bed.

"You could. However I don't wish to have to rush you to the hospital because you've cracked your head open falling again. I doubt that Honey would appreciate you coming to harm under my care." Kyoya said sitting me down.

"Why are you taking care of me?" I asked looking up at him as I began to dry my hair.

"Like I said yesterday. Haruhi is ill and I was the next logical choice." he said.

"Okay then why are you being so nice? For the past week you've hardly showed any concern as to whether I lived or died and you pretty much told me a few weeks ago that you wished I'd disappear off the face of the earth because I was so much trouble. Why do you seem to care now?" I asked.

"I never said I wanted you to disappear."

"You could've fooled me." I muttered.

Kyoya sighed, "I am sorry that I was so blunt the last time we were together. I was only attempting to extinguish any feelings you may have had for me. I believed it was the best."

"Well I have some news for you. You didn't do anything with my feelings except hurt them. I loved you Kyoya. It's not easy to fall out of love with someone. Trust me. I'm still trying." I replied.

"Still trying?" he asked.

I nodded and looked down at my lap, "Yeah believe it or not Kyoya I still love you. You took my heart and smashed it and stomped on it but I still love you. Even if you don't love me anymore."

The room was silent for a moment before Kyoya finally spoke again.

"Who says I don't still love you?"

I looked up at him and saw him looking forward, his face unreadable.

"Do you still love me Kyoya?" I asked.

"I never stopped." he replied softly his eyes still staring ahead.

I felt a chill run up my spine and tears began to prick at my eyes. Damn it! I had promised myself that I wasn't going to cry over him anymore! I thought I had finally managed to stop! And here I was trying to shove back the tears.

"Then why did you break up with me? Why did you make me cry? If you loved me why did you hurt me?" I asked.

Kyoya shook his head, "I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought if I ended things quickly then it might end easier. I thought that we wouldn't get as attached if we ended things sooner. However I failed to realize just how much I had come to count on you to be in my life nor how much you had counted on me. I am sorry for that." Kyoya replied and turned to look at me.

A second later his hand came up and tucked a strand of damp hair behind my ear before leaning closer. My heart began to beat wildly. A second later his lips pressed against mine.

3rd POV

Kyoya could hardly believe that he was kissing Sora again. Her lips felt softer than they had before and his heart seemed to race faster than it ever had, even faster than it had the night of their first kiss.

A few minutes later Sora pulled back for air and leaned her forehead against his.

"I-I love you Kyoya." she whispered.

A small smile curled on Kyoya's face, "I love you too Sora."

"Kyoya?" Sora asked.

"What?" Kyoya asked.

"If…if I asked you for more now…I mean right now….would you give it to me?" she asked.

"More?" Kyoya asked.

She nodded, "I'm ready now Kyoya. I want you in every way. Please."

Kyoya pulled away, "There's no reason to rush into this Sora. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere unless you tell me to."

"I know but I'm ready now. You may not be going anywhere but I am. Sooner or later this wedding is going to come and all of this is going to be over. We've wasted a month already…I don't want to waste anymore." she said looking at him.

"You're sure you're feeling up to this?" he asked.

Sora smiled a crooked smiled and pressed her lips to his solidly. Her hands grasped the front of his shirt, pulling him down on the bed with her.

"Does that answer your question?" she asked with a smirk.

With a smile Kyoya leaned down and pressed his lips to hers.

Kyoya lay with Sora curled up beside him. Her skin was still flushed and warm against his and she had a small smile on her face.

"Did I tell you I love you?" she asked.

"Yes. A few times." Kyoya smirked and kissed her cheek.

"Can I ask you something?" Sora asked looking at Kyoya.

"Anything." Kyoya replied.

"Have you ever loved someone else?" she asked turning over so she could look at him.

"How do you mean? Physically or emotionally?" he replied.

Sora rolled her eyes, "Kyoya you're in the Host Club. You have girls chasing you every day. I very much doubt that you're a virgin of any sort. I mean have you ever be IN love with someone."

"Why would you ask that now?" he asked.

She shrugged, "I was just wondering."

Kyoya sighed, "If I answer that will you promise not to be angry with me?"

"It was Haruhi wasn't it?" she asked.

"How did you know?" Kyoya asked.

"Before we were together I saw how you looked at her. Especially when she was with Tamaki." she said.

"Are you angry?" he asked.

"No. I know that you're mine now. Besides she has Tamaki. Even if she doesn't realize it yet." Sora said.

"Of course you're mine just as I am yours. Even if you marry Honey my heart will always belong to you. What I felt for her was just a fleeting feeling. What I feel for you runs so much deeper and is more honest than anything I could ever imagine. You're the girl I dream of now Sora. See what you make me do? I'm talking like Tamaki. I've never known anyone to make me do that." he said and kissed her however a second later she giggled.

"What?" he asked looking down at her.

"I'm just thinking about how different you would be if you were more like Tamaki." she said.

"That would be a very scary thing because there would be more than one Tamaki and no one to keep us from the more insane ideas that we would come up with. I am quite happy with myself thank you." Kyoya replied.

"Me too. I'll leave Tamaki to Haruhi." she grinned and curled closer to him.

Kyoya wrapped his arm around her and kissed the top of her head. Soon her breathing grew even and he looked down to see her asleep against his chest.

He lay there for a long while watching her sleep. She was beautiful and he couldn't imagine not being around her. He couldn't fathom just how he had managed to break up with her in the first place. He loved her and she loved him.

Maybe Fuyumi was right. There might have been something to gain from all of this. Perhaps love was something worth gaining after all. It may not have been worth much or even something tangible but to him it was perfect and for right then it was all he needed.

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