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The Blind Man

By damhill

Drama / Thriller

1. Oblivion

She was heading home from her usual Saturday morning grocery shopping in the small market down the road, two grocery bags in each hand. Having the two hand occupied, she stopped for a moment when her blue purse fell from her shoulder, and she needed to put it back in place. That was when she saw a man with sunglasses and a black dog talking to apparently no one:

"Hey, could you help me, please? I need to call my wife, but my phone ran out of battery. Please… I really need to make a call."

At first she ignored it, but she started noticing the man kept saying that to everyone that passed by him. Noticing the company dog, the man's dark glasses and his disoriented manners, she realized the man was probably blind, so she decided to help him out.

Feeling her hand on his shoulder and her voice addressing to him, the man turned towards her:

"Oh, thank you so much. I thought no one was going to help me today! My phone ran out of battery and I need to call my wife so that she can come and pick me up. Could you help me?"

"Of course, no problem, you just need to give me the number so that I can dial it and I'll let you speak with her." she said.

The dog started sniffing her legs, and she didn't really enjoy that. Somehow the man sensed she was uncomfortable about the dog's presence, so he cleared out that the dog wasn't harmful, that in fact he was pretty well behaved, and would only do what he'd tell him to do. But by some reason, that didn't comfort her. There was something about that dog that scared her, even though he looked sweet and cute. As a matter of fact, almost any dog would make her feel that way.

"Again, thank you so much!", he replied while searching for something in his pockets with his brown leather gloved hands. "I just need to find a card that I have here somewhere with her number, because I don't know it by heart... Here, it says Anabelle and has the phone number, right?"

"Yes it does. Let me dial it for you." the woman said, taking the card on her hand. She started dialing the numbers on her phone, clicked the "Call" button and handed the cell phone to the man in front of her.

He made his call…

It might have taken one single minute, maybe two… but no longer than that. She was sure about it, but in those minutes she started feeling a strange weakness, like if her bones were now made of rubber. Her legs tried to stay standing, but every second passed it was harder to stay up right and in those short minutes her whole body gave in. In the little time she was still conscious she tried, but she couldn't figure out what was happening to her. She didn't understand it. Then she looked up, and saw the man standing there, staring down at her.

"What have you done to me?" the words she tried to yell came out as nothing but a whisper, because everything around her was already fading away, and darkness settled in. In that last moment before closing her eyes, she just thought of one person, and how badly she didn't want to leave him, she couldn't.

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Sara Joy Bailey: The characters are well written, full of depth and life. The plot was thrilling. The author's style flows naturally and the reader can easily slip into the pages of the story. Very well done.

Jessie: I wrote a review on fanfiction but I thought it would be fitting to write on on here too :) This story was honestly stunning. I am a budding writer myself and to read this- to FEEL this- reminded me of why I am honoured to have this passion and drive for a craft that is just so raw and beautiful.

M.L. Bull: Hello, Aalia!Your story compelled the emotional pain and struggle of a teenage girl very well.. The imagery was also convincing and well-written, showing the different personalities of your characters and their actions. However, I do think that many of your sentences are too lengthy and could use...

Janaki Sundararaman: The frame of the story has a beautiful structure on which the narration is spun with twists and turns tolook forward with lots of expectations about the coming chapters.There are many characters in the story line,all woven into intricate style to speak the story in its own way.The protagonist is ...

Jevron Macalino: You started the story after Chuck Vs. the Fake Name happened and I like your version more than I like the original one. The five or so episodes after the fake name should not have happened that is why I like your version better. I hope you will continue writing Chuck & Sarah's story from where y...

Tanya Daigle Rusheon: This book is a long and twisty tale full of sweet romance, adorable fluff, anxiousness, trust issues, mind games, things that don't make sense until suddenly they do, heartache and reconciliation just when you need it the most. If that all sounds a bit vague, it's because I really don't want to s...

Carolyn Hahn-Re: I really liked this story! The writing was well done, and the plot was suspenseful. I couldn't stop reading chapter after chapter, on the edge of my seat! The characters were well developed, and true to form. Thank you so much for this wonderful read.

LouiseJ2: I enjoyed the detail you went into with regards to the case. It made the UNSUB appear believable. The crisis in the middle of the story was my favorite part, very dramatic but not over the top. I feel like sometimes pairings can be overdone but I liked that some of the relationships were a little...

rajastreet: I enjoyed this piece! I loved the treatment of time and the premise! Some of the wording seemed a little out of place, but easily overlooked for a good a plot.

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cicheah: Very well-knit story which sustains one's interest from beginning to end. Most enjoyable and a pleasure to read.

Ashley Stryker: So I'm writing this review, keeping in mind that this is a work in progress and it's part of National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo), so my "deeper" critiques will be saved until it's all finished up.+ Chapter One: A stewardess would not talk to anyone quite like that, particularly a clear minor...

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