Chapter 1 - What I Was
I was no one of too many specialties. I was one of the millions of millions of people on this Earth. If a person were to walk down a crowded street in a big city, they would have never ever stopped to take a second glance at me. One reason for that was that I was short, five feet even, nothing more, nothing less, so it was a miracle for people of the ever-growing height to see me at all. Secondly, my hair is a dark brown that is never straightened to shine like many girls of that time did. Thirdly, and most importantly, I was nowhere near famous. So why would anyone look down at me? What would be the point? As much as I tried, I was seen a regular, normal, female, human being in an average American town.
I'll start with a little bit of background before I go into something climatic. I was sixteen and was a young sophomore going to an arts school and studying to be an actress of the stage. My life wasn't near perfect, no, not in the least perfect. My 'father' had left my mother, sister and I at a younger age; and even though he only moved ten minutes away, I never truly called him 'Dad' again. I had my guy issues too. I had a small, yet highly complicated love life, which resulted in minimal 'boyfriends'. My sister ended up leaving to do an internship for a theme park in Florida , leaving my mother and two dogs home to live with me in our small, but pleasant home. I had a wonderful and supporting family as well as the most fantastic friends could ever ask for…
Just thinking of that old life now, just makes me sad. How I miss it all so much! Even though now I am allowed to have two daily outings a month… no it is still not nearly enough for me! I miss them all so… I should have been going to college. My grades were exceptionally high, I had a job at a fast food restaurant, and my life was particularly blessed as far as lives went. No, I wasn't nearly as rich as I am now, but I would trade it all in an instant just to have what I had back.
I will never really know why he chose me. I will never really know why he ever chose to love me. I am not the prettiest person in this world. I never viewed myself as abnormally beautiful as he would view me. I was not the nicest person in the world. At times I was shy and insecure about everything which caused me to stray away from people and talk in mumbles. I wasn't the best actress. I had many shows for different companies, but nothing amazing like Broadway. As much as I willed my voice not to lose its high notes above the staff, I was losing them nonetheless and becoming a low alto. Alto's had a strong reign over the stage with their belting abilities, but my dream was to play Christine Daae for The Phantom of the Opera at the Majestic Theatre on Broadway.
As a younger child I used to dream I could be her and share her adventures that she never wanted to have. I wanted to have her beauty and her innocence. I remember dancing around my room singing to my invisible Phantom of the Opera. I read books and grew an obsession with the fascinating story she told. I wanted her voice. Her angelic voice was sure to give me that shot on stage. But I was not she. Everyone at school believed that if there were a modern day Christine, it would be me; shy, forgiving, innocent, caring, little me.
Little did they know, their predictions would soon be proved correct.
It was near the end of the school year. Exams and advanced placement course test were approaching and I was a stressed out nervous wreak. My sleep, which I always took so much care of, was the main thing I began to lack. How I yearned for sleep at that time, but the alarm on my clock seemed to come earlier and earlier each morning. It was the day of my first advanced placement exam when it all happened. The day before had been horrible. Rehearsals for my next show were also making me depressed due to the sad part I had to play. My relationship status was slowly recovering from a hurtful friendship and I was so fed up with life around me. Mom and I were in a fight because we were both so stressed out. My dog even seemed to be mad at me. I wanted to run away and get far from everything in my life that brought me down. There seemed to be no escape as much as I tried, I could find no escape.
But there was an escape in the end.
I didn't see the eighteen-wheel truck lose control on the way down the highway ramp. I was yawning and the sun was shinning in my eyes. My mind was impaired and my loud music could no longer keep me in tune with the road. Down the ramp the truck sped. He could hardly see my little green Saturn on the road before him. Speeding down the ramp he flew: faster and faster blowing his horn knowing there was nothing he could do to stop the heavy load behind him.
The last thing I saw was a huge red truck hitting the dent in the center of the median with thundering speed. It flew up to my side of the road until I could see no more as I tried to speed up in time to miss the impact. I could only feel the sudden guilt of my seat as it flew backwards into the ceiling while the front of a truck landed on the trunk of my car with pounding force.
After that incident, I'm afraid to say I never really woke up to that life again.