Chapter 12 - Results Of The Dark
Disclaimer: If I were Gaston Leroux and owned Phantom of the Opera, I would have made my own movie that actually was like the book... I have yet to write the script.
I never remembered being moved for when I woke I was in my soft, perfect bed. I opened my eyes and could not see anything. 'Maybe I'm dreaming and will wake up soon' I thought to myself in order to make myself feel better. My hands were brought together and I pinched my thumb. I could feel as the skin was brought together in a harsh manor. I was not dreaming.
"Dark!" I yelped.
I sat up not knowing what to do. My right hand searched the bed around me only to find a shoulder lying next to me on the bed. I shook it in a feverish attempt to find light again. It began to move under my hand and I knew I had woken him up.
"Dark!" I said again praying he would turn the light on.
"Yes Christine, dark," he said unfazed and turning to his back I had to let go of his shoulder.
"No more dark! Please take it away!"
"You wish me to take it away?" he said in a peculiar voice rising up to rest on an elbow.
"Yes, yes, take it away!" I cried taking a tight hold of his wrist.
"Come closer to me, Christine."
I looked over to him even though I could not see him.
"What – what do you mean?"
"Simply what I said. Come closer to your husband, Christine."
"Turn on the light."
"Come closer to me and I will."
I feared what the darkness could do and what it inspired in his mind.
"Please, Erik…" I cried again.
He rose to a sitting position and took my waist into his arms. I tried to get out of the lock, but I found that I could not. He pulled me to his chest and kept me there. Only my hands separated us (and that did not do too much good). My chin rested on his shoulder and his rested on mine as he spoke softly in my ear.
"I could give you everything you ever wanted, Christine; even your precious light. I only ask so little of you…"
A hand moved up from my waist. It moved up my back forcing me closer to him, then under my arm and up from there. I tried jerking backwards as he came to close to my personals, but the arm still around my waist would not allow it. The hand moved upward, still with no pausing as if it had a mission. I began to make little gasps of fear as it came to my collarbone and to my neck. As it went behind my head it took my hair with it. The hand then moved behind my back to my shoulder blade and pushed me even closer.
Once the hair was removed I felt something different touch my neck; something soft and massaging. His lips were kissing my neck slowly starting from the corner of my neck and shoulder and they too moved up. This had never happened to me up until that time and I gasped. I could almost feel him smiling into my neck as this happened. The kisses moved ever slowly up to the left side of my head and began to gently nip at my ear. I was not sure as to what to do. I simply sat there in fear.
"Christine, if you really want your light I can give it to you," he rasped in my ear, "you see I have become the tamer of this light and if you so wished it, I could give it to you."
"Yes, Christine, your precious light."
His head pushed on my own so that my head lay on my right shoulder. He then continued to kiss my neck. His lips caressed their way down and I became drowsy with the new feeling that I had from this. My heart was already pumping furiously and this only made it increase its pace. I felt his hands incase my back only bringing me nearer. My hands were cramping under our closeness and I had to bring them up. They fell around his neck and the pace of his kisses increased.
His lips were now under my chin and moved down once again. My eyes began to close and I couldn't help but let out a little moan. Farther down his kisses went until they reached my nightgown. As I felt his hand come from behind my back to the button of the gown I backed away with a force I didn't know I possessed.
"No, please no!" I cried out.
He drew away keeping my arms in a firm grip. He said nothing.
"Erik please, I c-can't…" I said beginning to cry.
His hands cupped my face and brought my forehead to his. I could feel his panting breath on my face and tried to pull away.
"You can't can you? Well I guess I can't get you light tonight."
"No, no, Christine it is getting late and you need to go to bed."
"But the light – "
"Not tonight, goodnight."
"B-but Erik… please…"
He had already let me go and was lying back down in his place. I was still close to him and when I lay down I moved closer to him. I was so close that I was able to rest my head in the crook of his neck under his head. My hands grasped on to his shirt as I let my shivering body inch closer to his. He couldn't help but wrap his arms around me, as I feel asleep.
I felt a new pity for him. If his face was truly as bad as his description it's no wonder why he loved the darkness so much. His mask could not have been on his face during this. I could not feel it so I conclude that it must not have been present. That's why he loved the darkness so much: because he could be a 'normal' husband. How could we even coincide if we lived in different sets of luminosity?
He loved darkness, but he also loved me. I hated darkness, but I hated being alone in the darkness even more. That is why I stayed close to him.
"Goodnight, Erik," I whispered to his chest.
"Goodnight, little innocents."
He kissed my head and I nudged my head closer to him while letting my hands come around his back. It felt so nice as he stroked my hair as I fell asleep. If I was not to have my light, this would have to do for now.
The next days' breakfast came and went. We didn't speak to each other. The whole thing was rather awkward as I sat there eating and he sat there looking at the floor. Once I was done he said, "I would like to continue your training."
"What?" I asked airily.
"Your voice training, I would like to continue it."
"But I never had…" My voice faded away in feeling his anger fill the room.
"Christine, I will not hear of your constant talk of how you didn't do things and how you don't remember!" he stood up, "If I say you did them that's means you did them! I've been lax enough to let your voice rest this long. It will be a miracle if it's even half as good as it was after such a long rest! Now if I say that I want you to do something you will do it! Is that in anyway understood this time?"
I wouldn't meet his dark gaze.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm sure."
"Good, now let us get started as soon as possible."
I should have braced myself better for the next nine hours of hell.
We went to the music room and he sat down at the grand piano and looked at me. I didn't know what to do.
"Well, get to the right place at the piano, don't just look at me as if you don't know what to do."
I walked slowly over to the arch in the piano and prayed it was the correct place.
"See, you do know what to do."
He played a scale on the piano and looked back to me.
"Remember what key that is, Christine?"
I took a guess straight out of the blue.
"Key of E?"
Another awkward silence as he set his gaze on me once more.
"Well, what are you waiting for, Christine?"
"I – I don't know."
"Then start singing your scales. We have much to do today."
I looked at him pitifully.
"I – I don't remember…"
He began to pound notes on the piano for me to follow.
"Remember now?" he growled.
"Yes, yes, I just…"
This scene repeated its self for all the five scales I sang that day. He kept rebuking me on how horrible I sounded and how childish my scales were. Everything I seemed to do was all wrong. Those five scales must have taken three hours after all those critiques. If my voice wasn't loud enough, there was something wrong with my posture, and if my posture wasn't exactly correct he automatically knew and began to yell and spit at all my faults. It was all I could to hold in my tears. His low patience became shorter and shorter until he spat, "let's move on! Now don't tell me you don't remember Faust either!"
I hung my head low.
"Christine, you were in Faust." His voice snarled like an animal.
There was nothing left I could do but stand there waiting my punishment. I actually began to feel like I was the one with all the problems – as if it were all my fault for not knowing all of the things he spoke of.
"Very well then,Roméo et Juliette?"
I shook my head again.
"The Magic Flute? Fidelio? Oberon? Macbeth? Hamlet? Otello?"
With each shake of my head after every title he gave his voice only became louder and louder. It was as if he believed that if he said it loud enough I might actually know and remember it. There was a moment of silence as he atempted to cool down.
"Then you will be reduced to sight reading each one until you memorize it all over again."
"You do remember how to sight read, don't you?"
"I – I can sight read, but just a little."
"Only a little?"
My voice kept getting smaller and smaller as his kept getting larger. There was nothing I could do. It all appeared to be completely hopeless.
"Come here," he said beckoning me to his side.
With slow soft steps I approched the bench.
"Look at me," he said in a voice that I could sense a father punishing his daughter with.
I did so even slower then I had walked.
"I have never known you to be so stubburn with me Christine and I would like to think that you are not doing it intentionally, so I'm going to give you another chance. I will give you all the sheet music you should know and will let you learn it all over again."
He left the room only to come back a few minutes later with the biggest stack of papers I've ever seen in one man's arms. He sat them down on the piano.
"Now Christine, I will give you all the time you need to learn and memorize all of this over again. You have the piano here for any notes you are unsure about. I will be in the library."
I looked at the top of the stack. It was like a maze of black and white all written in what looked like German. I couldn't do this.
"Erik!" I yelped as he began out the door.
"Have I not made myself clear? You will learn all of this and until you do you will not leave this room!"
"But I don't – "
"Then I advise you do remember!"
And with that I was left only trying to remember anything about the piano and latin that I possibly could.