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The weird life of the Ouran Host Club


Maria and Haruhi are best friends, they enroll to Ouran Academy together and encounter the Host Club. They have wonderful and strange adventures and maybe some romance along the way?

Humor / Romance
Nadia Smith
5.0 1 review
Age Rating:

Chapter 1

1 year ago

I ran to the door as the post came through. I shuffled through all of the letters and finally saw it...the Ouran Academy entrance exam results. I tore open the letter and my heart leaped with joy as I saw the words 'Congratulations, you have passed the exams...welcome to Ouran Academy Miss Maria Smith.' I danced around the living room as my mother shouted from her room,

"Did you get in?" I ran to her room and nodded as she hugged me tight

"Oh darling I knew you could do it...I wonder if Haruhi got in?" My eyes widened as I ran out of the door to her home. I didn't even stop to catch my breath, her house wasn't far from mine...well she lives in a flat so it's not a house but it's still a home. I ran up the stairs to her door and knocked. She opened the door and looked at me with a smile on her face

"did you get in Maria?"

"yes did you?"

"yes!" We screamed and hugged each other, I couldn't believe we were going to the famous Ouran Academy.

Present day

Haruhi and I stared into the busy and loud library. It was the 4th one we tried.

Haruhi started "This place has four library rooms."

"You'd think one of them would be quiet." I finished.

We shut the library door and walked down the hall. Haruhi stopped at the window and looked up at the sky, I knew what she was thinking, she was thinking of her mother who died 10 years ago...she was only 5. I hugged her and asked "you ok?"

She nodded as we continued down the hall. Haruhi mentioned

"I'm beginning to think that rich kids only come to school to have a good time." I nodded in agreement,

"I wonder if they learn anything at all here." We both stopped outside a huge door which said 'music room 3.'

"It's an abandoned music room." I noticed. Haruhi shrugged

"I guess this is the only place we'll be able to study in peace and quiet." We both nodded and opened the door, the room was so bright and rose petals flew out at us. We suddenly heard some boys say "welcome" to us. Oh no...we had found the host club!

We both panicked and Haruhi cried

"This is a host club?" While Haruhi stuggled to open the door two red headed boys said "Oh wow, it's a boy...and his girlfriend."

What were they talking about? We're both girls...then the one with glasses said

"Hikaru, Kaoru, I believe this young man and woman are in the same class as you, aren't they?" Oh yeah I know those twins...so that's where I've seen them before.

Hikaru and Kaoru replied "Yeah, but they're shy. They don't act very sociably, so we don't know much about them."

The boy with the glasses, who I think is named Kyoya, grinned and said "well, that wasn't very polite. Welcome to the Ouran host club, Mr. and Miss. honor student."

I turned around the help Haruhi with the door as I heard a voice behind us say "What? You must be Haruhi Fujioka. And you must be Maria Smith. You're the exceptional honor students we've heard about."

We both stopped and turned around, Haruhi asked nervously, "How did you know our names?"

Kyoya responded "Why, you're infamous. It's not every day that two commoners gain entrance into our academy. You both must have an audacious nerve to work hard enough to fight your way into this school as an honor student, Mr. Fujioka. And Miss Smith."

Why do they keep calling Haruhi a boy...well she does look like one but I better not say anything. It's not my place to say it's up to her. I thought to myself.

"Well a- thank you. I guess." We said confusingly.

Suddenly a blonde haired and blue eyed boy put his arms around us and shouted

"You're welcome. You're hero's to other poor people. You've shown the world that even a poor person can excel at an elite private academy. It must be hard for you to constantly be looked down upon by others."

We started shuffling away but her kept on following us.

"I think you're taking this poor thing too far." Haruhi stated. But blondie ignored us and continued

"Spurned, neglected. But that doesn't matter now. Long live the poor! We welcome you, poor people, to our world of beauty!"

I grabbed Haruhi's hand and said "We're outta here."

Suddenly we were pulled back by this boy, who I swear has the cutest face ever!

"Hey! Come back here, Haru-chan and Mari-chan! You must be like a super hero's or something. That's so cool!"

Awww he's so cute! But Haruhi said "I'm not a hero. I'm an honour student. And who are you calling Haruchan?"

The last part scared the boy and he ran away. Blondie stood near us and said

"I never would have imagined the famous scholar would be so openly gay."

Haruhi questioned "Openly what?" Are they talking about Haruhi?

Blondie then said to us "So tell me what kind of guys you're into. Do you like the strong silent type? The boy lolita? How about the mischievous type? Or the cool type?"

We started backing away and nervously said

"I uh I-It's not like that. We were just looking for a quiet place to study."

He then tickled our chins, leaned in close and whispered "Or maybe you're into a guy like me. What do you say?"

We moved away and then it happened...we both knocked into a vase, we tried to grab it but is fell to the floor and smashed into little pieces.

We stared at the vase, having no idea what to say or do. One of the twins, who I think is Hikaru said

"Ahuuhh, we were going to feature that renaissance vase in an upcoming school auction."

Karou added "Oh now you've done it, commoners. The bidding on that vase was supposed to start at 8 million yen."

Our eyes widened and Haruhi shouted

"What, 8 million yen? How many thousand yen is that? How many thousands are in 8 million?"

I added "that's 4 million yen each" we turned around and said

"we're gonna have to pay you back."

The twins laughed "With what money? You can't even afford a school uniform."

I hate to admit it but they were right, Haruhi was wearing a dark baggy jumper with jeans and trainers. I was wearing jeans, a plain T-shirt and converses.

"What's with that grubby outfits you've got on anyway?" Hikaru said to us.

I was going to shout at him but then Kyoya said "Well, what do you think we should do, Tamaki?"

The blonde boy named Tamaki sat on his chair and suddenly changed attitude

"There is a famous saying you may've heard, When in Rome, you should do as the Romans do. Since you have no money, you can pay with your body."

Was he thinking what I think he's thinking? I thought. But then Tamaki added

"That means, starting today, you are the host club's dogs." We couldn't believe it, we had been kidnapped by a bunch of boys and were forced to be their servants! Tamaki pointed to Haruhi and said

"Mr. Fujioka, your first job is to go shopping for us. Here's a list of the stuff we need. Now off you go."

Haruhi sighed and walked out of the door, leaving me with the boys. I looked at them and the twins smiled evily. I gulped as Tamaki stated

"now you can be our little maid, you can help set everything up for our guests. So you better start sorting out the tables."

I simply nodded and got to work on the tables. I didn't want to speak to them so I tried to avoid eye contact...but the twins kept on trying to put me in a maid outfit which was too revealing in more ways than one. I soon found out the name of the tall one, he was Mori...and he hardly ever talked. Which was okay with me and the little boy was named Hunny...which suited him well. About an hour later I finished making the tables and the girls arrived, they sat with their favourite host as I just served them tea and cleaned whatever rubbish was left.

I heard a conversation with Tamaki and a girl, she said

"Tamaki, what's your favorite song?"

"What song? The one that reminds me of you, of course." Ugh how cliche! Tamaki must be full of them, the girl then asked

"I baked you a cake, today. Would you like to taste it?"

Tamaki then leaned in towards her and said "Only if you'll feed it to me, darling."

"Oh wow you're so dreamy." Yeah right! I do like romance but come on this is too much.

Another girl then said to Tamaki "May I have a word with you, Tamaki? I've recently heard the host club's keeping two little kittens without a pedigree."

What a bitch! If I wasn't in debt I would so slap her right now! Tamaki stated

"I don't know if I'd call them that." He then looked in my direction and winked. If that's his way of standing up to us then I'm a little grateful...but he could have chosen better words. Just then Haruhi returned with the shopping as Tamaki shouted

"Thanks for doing the shopping, little piglet. Did you get everything on our list?" I looked at Haruhi as she questioned

"What? Piglet?" I chuckled as she glared at me. I poked my tongue out at her and picked up empty cups. Suddenly I heard Tamaki shout

"I will drink this coffee!" Everyone started clapping and I noticed he had instant coffee in his hand. You've got to be kidding me, they're going crazy over that? I decided not to pay attention and carried on cleaning whatever needed to be cleaned. As I got closer I heard a girl say

"I'm afraid if I drink this, my father will yell at me." Haruhi must have made them the coffee. Just then Tamaki dipped her and said seductively,

"What if I let you drink it from my mouth?"

"Oh well then, I would drink it." The girl said and other girls started screaming like fangirls. Haruhi came over to me and said

"This is ridiculous." I nodded in agreement

"you're telling me, it's kinda gross to. I mean it's spitting a drink into someones mouth...ewww."

We laughed and looked at the twins and their little 'act.' Hikaru was saying to some girls

"So he had this nightmare that made him bolt up right out of bed." He laughed as Karou cried

"Hikaru, don't tell them that story. I asked you not to tell anyone that. Why are you so mean to me?"

Hikaru pulled his brother close to him and said "I'm sorry, Kaoru. I didn't mean to upset you. But you were so adorable when it happened that I had to tell them. I'm sorry."

Karou whispered "I forgive you." The girls went crazy and screamed

"I've never seen brotherly love quite like that!" Me and Haruhi rolled our eyes and questioned

"What are they so excited about? I just don't get it."

We walked to the other end of the room where Hunny was being fussed over by some girls. Mori just sat there like a rock.

Haruhi asked "Is that boy really a third year student?" I shrugged and jumped when Kyoya came up beside me

"Honey Senpai may seem young and childish, but he's a prodigy. And then Mori Senpai's allure is his strong and silent disposition."

Hunny then came over to us and spun us around

"Haru-chan! Mari-chan! Do you wanna go have some cake with me?"

I replied shakily "Thanks, but I don't really like cake."

Haruhi agreed and Hunny said "Then, how would you like to hold my bunny, Usa-chan?"

Haruhi replied "I'm not into bunnies." I liked bunnies but Hunny asked her

"Are you saying you don't like Usa-chan?" Haruhi bent down to his height and smiled

"I guess he is kinda cute, huh?" I smiled at Hunny and said

"I'll hold him, I love bunnies." He grinned and gave me Usa-chan

"Take good care of him, okay?" He ran back to his guests and giggled. Kyoya stated to us

"You'll notice that our club utilizes each man's unique characteristics to cater to the desires of our guests. Just so you know, Tamaki is No.1 around here. He is the king. His request rate is 70%. And in order for both of you to pay off your 8 million yen debt with us, you will act as the Ouran host club's dogs until you graduate. I'm sorry, I meant our errand boy and maid. You can try to run away if you want to, Haruhi and Maria, but just so you know, my family employs a private police force of 100 officers."

I couldn't believe this guy, he's threatening us.

"By the way, do you two have passports?" He asked.

Why would he need to know that? Just then Tamaki walked up behind us and said

"You're going to have to work hard to pay off that debt, my little nerds." He breathed on the back of our necks which made us shudder.

"Please don't do that again." We both said.

He looked at Haruhi and said "You need a makeover, or no girl's going to look twice at you."

He then looked at me and said "and no boy will look at you if you don't get a makeover."

Charming! I was just about to remark his comment when Haruhi stated

"Yeah, well, I'm not trying to get girls to look at me." Tamaki looked shocked and cried

"Are you kidding me? That's the most important thing. You have to learn to be a gentleman and please the ladies like me."

I decided to step in and said "We just don't think it's all that important. Why should we care about appearances and labels anyway? I mean, all that really matters is what's on the inside, right? We just don't understand why you even have a host club like this."

Haruhi nodded in agreement as Tamaki boasted

"It's a cruel reality, isn't it? It's not often that God creates a perfect person like Moi! Beautiful both inside and out."

Me and Haruhi just blinked and said "Say what?"

Tamaki just continued with his boasting "I understand how you feel since not everyone is as blessed as I am, but you must console yourself, otherwise how would you go on living? And think about this, Why do you think they put works of art in museums? Because beauty should be shared with the world. And those born beautiful should promote other beautiful things."

I just totally zoned out while he was talking. I remembered the days when me and Haruhi were in middle school and everyone would call us sisters. I mean we both had brown hair and brown eyes but I think the main thing was that we both viewed things in a similar way. Haruhi is more of a tomboy and I'm a bit more girly. She now has really short brown hair and I have a bob with a really long fringe covering my eyes. But yeah we've known each other since Middle school. I quickly came back to reality when I heard Haruhi say the word

"Obnoxious." Tamaki then went to a little corner in the room looking rather gloomy. Well she wasn't wrong he is obnoxious. The twins laughed and said to Haruhi

"You're a hero, all right." Haruhi quickly said to Tamaki

"I'm sorry, senpai. But your lesson did strike a small chord with me."

Tamaki then got up and cheerfully said "Really? It did? Let me teach you more, my friend."

Well he got over that quick.

Karou then said to Tamaki "You can teach him all the basics of hosting."

Hikaru continued "But he's not going to get very far with the ladies if he doesn't look the part, you know. He's not exactly host club material, but maybe if we took off his glasses, it'd help."

He took of Haruhi's glasses and she moaned

"Hey, I need those. I used to have contacts, but I lost them on the first day of school."

All the boys looked at Haruhi as Tamaki snapped his fingers

"Hikaru, Kaoru."

The twins saluted"Got it." They grabbed Haruhi and pulled her away to the changing rooms. Tamaki then looked at me and said

"I wonder what you look like under that fringe?" He lifted my hair up and stared at me...I had a bad feeling about what he was going to do but then he shouted

"Kyoya, my hair stylist. Mori senpai, go to the eye doctor and get Haruhi some contact lenses."

He started pulling me towards the changing rooms but Hunny came up the Tamaki and asked hopefully

"What about me, Tama-chan?"

"Honey senpai."

"Yes sir."

"You, go have some cake."

Hunny then went off to the emo corner and moaned "It's just us, Usa-chan. Everyone else said they were too busy."

Tamaki pushed me into the changing room and he ran off to get something. While waiting Kyoya introduced me to Tamaki's hairstylist. The hairstylist was very camp and lifted up my fringe, he gasped

"Oh my you are a beautiful girl! Why do you hide yourself under your hair?"

I was speechless and before I knew it I was sat down and the camp hairstylist started working on my hair. I must admit it felt rather nice being fussed over like this. After about an hour he held up a mirror and asked

"so what do you think of your new hair?"

I stared...was that really me? I had almost forgotten what I looked like. He cut my fringe so it was just under my eyebrows and my hair was a bob, which sat at my chin. I smiled at him

"Thank you so much I love it."

He hugged me tight and screamed

"oh, you really are such a beautiful girl! I bet you are gonna be the heart-throb among the boys. Oh I must help the other child."

He let go and ran off with his stuff. I noticed a yellow dress on the little stool...it was the girl's uniform! There was no way I was wearing that. Just then Kyoya shouted from behind he curtain

"I hope you put that dress on Maria."

I pouted and got out of my scrubby clothes and put on that stupid dress. I then heard Tamaki ask

"Aren't you done changing yet?" I was going to reply but then I heard Haruhi speak

"You sure it's really okay for me to keep this uniform?"

Tamaki squealed "Cute! You're as pretty as a girl. Adorable!"

I'm guessing he still hasn't figured it out.

Hunny added "Haru-chan, you look so cute!"

Then Hikaru started "If we had known that's how you really looked,"

"we would have helped you out sooner." Karou finished.

Kyoya pointed out "Who knows, maybe he'll draw in some customers."

Tamaki responded "You know, that's just what I was thinking. Our errand boy is moving up the ranks. Starting today, you are an official member of the host club. I will personally train you to be a first rate host. If you can get 100 customers to request your service, we will completely forget about your 4 million yen debt."

I could hear Haruhi say in a scared tone "A host?"

I giggled, this should be fun to watch. But then Hunny mentioned me

"I wonder what Mari-chan looks like now?"

I was hoping they all forgot about me...Tamaki then shouted to me "Are you done changing?"

I replied "yes but I'm not coming out...I look like a lemon in this dress! I never liked the girl's uniform here."

Hikaru then teased "oh come on you can't look that bad...if you don't come out we'll come in and get you."

I sighed and opened the curtain. They all stared at me and said "woah."

I growled "I told you I look stupid I look like a walking, talking lemon!"

Tamaki shook his head "I wasn't even paying attention to the dress, you look so different now. You look...like a princess!"

Everyone nodded in agreement and I noticed Haruhi...she looked amazing! Her hair has been cut a bit shorter than it was and was now styled. She was wearing the boys uniform and smiled at me.

"You look great Maria, even if you do look like a lemon."

I playfully punched her "shut up. And you don't look too bad yourself."

The boys walked away and Haruhi was about to follow when I whispered to her

"hey, when are you gonna tell them you're a girl?" Haruhi looked at me and shrugged

"I don't care whether they recognise me as a boy or a girl. It's what on the inside that counts."

I just nodded and followed her to the others. I had always admired how down to earth she was and that was one of the reasons we got along so well.

Haruhi was dragged away and sat at a table with some customers. I just carried on serving everyone and trying to make the dress more comfortable. It was so itchy! The twins came up behind me and asked

"what's wrong Maria? Is the dress annoying you?"

I nodded and complained "it's so itchy and I hate the way it looks...I would rather wear your maid outfit!"

As soon as I said that I regretted it because the twins then looks at me evilly. I tried to run away but they grabbed my arms and pulled me back to the changing rooms. They gave me the maid outfit and said

"Go ahead then."

They left me alone and I just wanted a giant hole to eat me up. I got out of the yellow monstrosity and got into the maid outfit. It wasn't that bad actually, it wasn't revealing at all. It went down to my knees and it looked rather cute. I put on the bonnet and walked out, everyone looked at me and the girls screamed

"Oh my god Maria you look so cute!"

The twins grinned at me "we knew you would."

They winked at me and went back to their customers. Well I felt better in the maid outfit anyway. Just then I noticed that red haired bitch named Ayanokoji walking out of the door, glaring at Haruhi. I didn't know what she was up to but it wasn't good. Haruhi came up to me and said

"I need to get my bag, do you need yours?"

"No thanks, I don't think I need it now."

She smiled and ran to our classroom. After about 20 minutes I got a bit worried. Surely it doesn't take someone that long to get their bag. Tamaki also seemed to notice because he went out of the room to look for her. I just continued cleaning as Kyoya came up to me.

"I must tell you Maria that I know." I looked at him confused and asked

"know what?"

He smirked and said "that Haruhi is a girl."

My mouth dropped open as I asked "then why do you keep calling her a boy? Why not tell everyone?"

He chuckled and stated "first, she needs to pay back her debt one way so she can do it by being a host. Second I think it's better if I let the others figure it out for themselves...it's more interesting that way."

Oh great while I'm stuck as the maid Haruhi is moved up to a host. Kyoya smiled and said

"We would make you one as well but your body is too feminine. Haruhi looks more like a boy though so she can."

I sighed "I know, it's not the first time she's been mistaken for a boy. It's just that it's going to take me longer to pay back my debt."

Kyoya nodded but said "don't be too sure, your jobs a little easier than hers." He walked away to his laptop to do...whatever he does on that thing.

Haruhi came back with Tamaki, her hands were wet and she walked up to me smelling like a pond.

"Umm Haruhi...what were you doing?"

She sighed "I found my bag in the pond outside, someone must have put it in there."

I gasped, I had no idea there were bullies here. I growled and said

"if I ever find out who did this I'm gonna..."

Just then Kyoya came up to Haruhi and said "you have a customer. She over there."

Haruhi walked to the table and there was...Ayanokoji! I had a feeling she put Haruhi's bag into the pond so I decided to eavesdrop a bit. I stood behind a pillar and listened to what she said.

"And you actually made Tamaki search that dirty old pond with you. How astonishing. You do realize he's a blue blood and not a commoner, right? The only reason he's paying attention to you is because he's trying to turn you into a gentleman. Don't start thinking he cares about you just because he's doting on you."

I swear to god the next time she is a bitch to Haruhi I am gonna kill her.

Just then Haruhi stated "Now I understand. You're jealous of me."

Of course it made perfect sense! The bitch must have been jealous of Haruhi because Tamaki had been giving her more attention that Ayanokji.

Suddenly she screamed "No, Haruhi, leave me alone! Somebody, help! He just attacked me! Someone, do something! Teach this commoner a lesson!"

That was it! I got out from behind the pillar and started walking towards them. But the twins poured water on them both and Mori held me back. I looked on as that bitch said to the twins

"Why did you do that?"

Tamaki came over and helped her up. She pleaded to Tamaki "Do something, Tamaki. Haruhi just assaulted me."

No she never! Haruhi would never assult you!

Tamaki then said "I'm disappointed in you. You threw his bag into the pond, didn't you?"

I smirked as Ayanokoji panicked

"You don't know that. Do you have any proof that I did?"

Tamaki pushed her hair out of her face and said

"You know, you're a beautiful girl. But you aren't classy enough to be our guest, dear. If there's one thing I know, Haruhi is not that kind of a man."

Oh yeah! My respect for Tamaki just went through the roof!

Ayanokoji cried "But why, Tamaki? You idiot!"

She then ran out crying. Well it serves her right! Tamaki then looked at Haruhi who was still on the floor

"Hmm, now how am I going to punish you? Because it is your fault after all. Your quota is now one thousand!"

What?! And now my respect for him as gone down a bit. Poor Haruhi. He then helped her up and said

"Come on. I've got high expectations for you, my little rookie."

Mori let go of my as I ran to Haruhi and hugged her "are you alright?"

"I'm fine, she kicked me in the leg that's why the table fell and I was on top of her."

I hugged her again and finally let go. 15 minutes later Kyoya came back with another boy's uniform

"This is the only spare uniform we have. Sorry, but it's better than a wet one, right?"

Haruhi smiled "Thanks a lot, you guys. I'm gonna go change."

She went of to the changing rooms. Tamaki then got some towels and went to the changing rooms to give them to Haruhi. Hunny came up to me and said

"I think Tama-chan is gonna find out now." I looked at him shocked

"you knew? For how long?" He giggled

"only for a little while, everyone knows apart from Tama-chan." Wow these guys are smarter than I thought. We all went to the changing rooms as Tamaki said

"So, you're a girl?"

Oh finally! It only took him the entire day! Haruhi repied

"Biologically speaking, yeah."

She came out from behind the curtain wearing the yellow dress...wait where did she get that from? She explained to Tamaki

"Listen, senpai, I don't really care whether you guys recognize me as a boy or a girl. In my opinion, it's more important for a person to be recognized for who they are rather than for what sex they are."

"Well, isn't this an interesting development." Kyoya said.

"Oh, yeah" The twins agreed.

Haruhi quickly said "Uh, you know, I have to say, senpai. I thought you were pretty cool earlier."

Tamaki started blushing and turned as red as a tomato. Kyoya turned his head behind him and said

"Now I could be wrong, but I think we may be witnessing the beginnings of love here."

Who the hell is he talking to?

Haruhi turned to the mirror and stated

"Being a host and getting fussed over by a bunch of girls might not be that bad. I wonder how I could pull it off. I've got it. I'll just call everyone dude and bro now."

Haruhi laughed as I rolled my eyes. I have a feeling this is only the beginning to the weird life of the Ouran host club.

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