A Death Note Carol


Freedom is never voluntarily given by the oppressor; it must be demanded by the oppressed.- Martin Luther King Jr.

Light felt dazed from the radio's revelation. Could he be so stupid? Could he? Of course, of course he could be. His own mind had reminded him of his arrogance and stupidity, Light making foolish mistakes based on assumptions were becoming increasingly commonplace in his life as the 'Kira' situation had continued.

"But I can't call it quits now!" he thought. His desperation peaking as it had when he had stood in the Church with Present. "L is on my case, and he'll never let me go! He has to die! Which means so will his successors, if they are as half as resourceful and intelligent as he is! I'm doomed, surely I am doomed!" Light ground his teeth together, desperate to keep his exterior calm. Though he knew Sayu could not see him, he felt the presence of Future, and the last thing he wanted was to give one or more of the spirits the satisfaction of seeing him lose control. He had already been forced into fear, self loathing and crying. He resented them heavily for manipulating his emotions and actions in such a way and was determined to not lose control again!

"So today," the radio presenter continued, his voice full of urgency, "we are going to do something unprecedented. Kira, we know your spies are listening. Here us out. We do not want you ruling us. We never asked for you to come and take over all our governments. We never asked for your false promises, your violence or sense of justice. However, we will concede today that you do seem to favour justice. So we beg of you, stop using the media as your informer! It is lies, and innocent people are dying! Isn't that the very thing you were always against?" Suddenly, there were muffled yells, screams and crashing sounds in the background. Sayu and Light simultaneously tensed up, their concentration focused on the radio; Sayu still did not dare turn it up.

"What is happening?" The radio presenter gasped, the Bangkok accent becoming stronger in is distress. "What is-? Ladies and gentlemen, my fellow shadows, we have been found out! The office has-!" The sound of machine guns and screams made themselves known, and became progressively louder as the man went on. "Oh God! Oh my God! It is too late for me to escape! But remember shadows, this is Kira! This is what Kira means! No freedom of speech! No free media! Kira the op-" The sound of banging on a door interrupted the presenter temporarily. "KIRA THE OPRESSER IS AGAINST AUTONOMY! HE IS THE WOR-OH, OH GOD! Oh God they're kill-! Run! God! LISTEN, KI-KIRA IS A DICTATOR! HE IS ANTI-HUMA-!" Gun shots rang out and the presenter screamed in anguish. Sayu began to cry. All that could be heard was marching feet, and the sound of the presenter chocking on his own blood. "Re-remember..." the presenter's voice was faint and guttural with blood. Pained from the death throes, he began to speak in his native tongue "Shuí shì yǒnggǎn de," he coughed, the voice becoming even less intelligible, "tā shì miǎnfèi de..."

And then, after the sound of a door slamming, all fell silent.

As his sister quietly wept, her hand pressed over her mouth, Light wondered if she knew what the presenter had said. It was a quote- "he who is brave, is free..."

It seemed strange that the presenter's last words were not hatred or denouncements of Kira. In fact tey were pretty vague, Light too agreed with the sentiments, and he was Kira...

Sayu sat shaking slightly. The radio had now turned to static, the irritating noise echoing throughout the little apartment. Slowly, she leaned forward and switched it off; her unwilling actions made it seem like the radio was dirty, reminding Light of L.


L, he always thought of L. That mysterious dark haired creature was always at the back of his mind, haunting him. Light had hoped that L's death would bring him relief from the unwanted obsession, but now, even in the absence of the sugar-intoxicated insomniac, and at the most inappropriate time, Light still thought about him. The teen would think of him when he awoke, when he went to sleep at night, whenever, for short periods of time, that his mind had nothing to focus itself on- Light's thoughts would wonder back to the detective. And Light was fully aware of the reason why; L had not only been the first person to actually deny Light of something, but he had also defeated and tricked him.

The burning shame of being fooled into killing Lind L. Tailor had made a secure home in Light's psyche. It had been that point that Light had began to focus on L more than cleansing the earth of criminals. Maybe that was the reason his utopia was so ill-thought out, he was too focused on L. That meant that the whole thing was L's fault! If L had stayed out! Along with Penbar and Misora and all the others, if they had stayed out of his way he could have thought his plan through more carefully! He would have had time to perfect it!

Light shuddered in an unconscious but perfect imitation of his sister, and sat down next to her. He supposed annihilating members of the media was inevitable. In a new world, he couldn't have any dissenters. Light had always hoped that, eventually, any dissent would die away as his world would work- no one would have a reason to complain. However, it was becoming more obvious that the goal was just too out of reach, even for a god. He wondered why the radio reporters had been executed in such a way. Wouldn't it have been cleaner and more discreet to have judged them? He knew they were underground, but surely infiltration would have been a better option than sending in armed forces?

The reason Light began his quest to clean the world was to protect his mother and sister, to allow his father to actually spend time with them. How many years had Light missed out on with his father because of all the criminals? As a child, no, even as a teenager, his father's marked absence and his mother and sisters misery, it hurt. And now, despite best intentions, Light had managed to hurt his family in a similar manner to his father; he was not around to protect or help them. Lightly, he touched his sisters back as she began to quietly sob He wondered when the last time was that he had comforted her, or just touched her. When had loving his family become a chore, when had he started to want to escape?

Sayu wiped her tears with the back of her hand, before beginning to rummage about in her bag. As Light suspected, she bought out a small, neatly folded piece of paper. Unfolding it, she stared at the unnamed phoned number for a few minutes before calling it. Light smiled slightly while watching her. She might be as intelligent as he, but her thought processes were far slower, (had Light been in her position, he would have made the call in milliseconds.) This was no surprise, Light's lightening quick calculations were what made him stand out amongst other highly intelligent persons; it was what separated 'high intelligence' from 'genius.' From around three years old onwards, Light had always been the best at everything. Then L came along...

"Hello?" Her voice quivered. Light leant close to her, eavesdropping on the conversation. "Is this the...are you shadow?"

"No." A didactic voice replied. "I am Kyo at the Sun-protection foundation. Can I help you?"

Sayu was blushing slightly, "yes...I am...Sayu...Sayu Yagami." Sweat appeared on her forehead. She was terrified.

"No wonder," thought Light, "she must be frightened that this is a trick. But I wouldn't hurt her...even with her betrayal...I wouldn't..."

"Ah, yes Miss Yagami!" The voice became friendly and warm. "I am sorry. You can to see me about your aversion to the sun! Well, as said, we specialise in homeopathic, alternative remedies to sun burn. You will be wanting to make a reservation, right? How about this evening? We had someone cancel on us so we have a free slot."

"Erm...ye-yes." Sayu gulped, straightened her shoulders and continued in a stronger, more relaxed voice. "Yes, tonight would be excellent. Could you give me directions?"

"Of course. Where do you live?"

"I live in Ueno."

"Hmm, we are difficult to get to from your location. Here is what you should do, go to the ruins of the Toshogu shrine. Here we will have an official taxi escort drive you to our offices. He'll bear the official Sun-protection badge, alright?"

"Yes that's fine."

"Good," the voice temporarily returned to being harsh before trying to reclaim its kind, customer-service tone, "please be there by five-thirty."

"Alright." Sayu muttered, her short burst of confidence already dissipating. She hung up the phone, looking fretful.

Light felt little sympathy. In fact, he was seething inside. His plan for his Utopia was getting royally fucked up; the least Sayu could do was be a team player and help him! Instead she was going to the other side. Maybe he would hurt her for her betrayal? After all, what choice would he have?

Light's scowl deepened. If that was to be the case, wouldn't he be getting further away from his ideal of protecting his family? But then, clearly, his family didn't want protecting. People like Sayu, according to the radio presenter didn't want protecting! They wanted a dirty, filthy world full of corruption!

Light took in a deep breath as Sayu went into the bathroom. He heard her turn on a shower. In turn, he slumped into an unpleasant arm chair that clashed with the decor. "Calm down," he thought. "I need to stop getting angry and worked up. I need to think. I need to be logical. I need to try and think this from Sayu's point of view. Sayu is calling them because she thinks that I am corrupt. She is, in her own way, being a good citizen. Maybe when she sees that the resistors have no better way of ruling (how could they?) surely she will return to me?" He looked at her various pictures on the wall. Many were of her and friends. But one in the centre of her window sill caught his attention. It was the Yagami family standing outside their house. Sayu looked around fourteen, Light and his parents were smiling at the lens. He tried to remember that day. Who had taken the picture? He couldn't recall it at all. But then, Light never recalled much of his family life; often it was so dull and mediocre he couldn't stand it. Light was certain that he had forced most the memories out of his mind because he had grown to hate them for being so tedious.

Unconsciously rubbing his thumb across his bottom Light pondered if maybe he should have remembered a little more than what he did. The nice things, like playing with Sayu, receiving presents and praise...granted, those things meant little to him, but other people put stock into such memories. Maybe there was something to being sentimental? Maybe being a little sentimental would help him understand his family more.

Light blinked and saw that the picture had changed. There, again, on his photographs handsome face was hideous mirk- his nose was up turned, his eyes slightly mismatched. Ugh, horrible!

"Damn it Future!" Light screamed. Why did the Spirits insist on violating his face like they did? Was it not enough that they were forcing him o watch his dream fall to tatters, to see all his assumptions of his family, colleagues and rivals proven wrong? Was that not enough emotional torture?

He stalked across the room, grabbed the picture and flung it across the room unable to look at it any longer. Sayu stepped out of the bathroom, covered in a fluffy bathrobe and picked up the picture. Her face was initially surprise, no doubt she was wondering how the picture fell across the room. But the confusion was quickly dismissed; Light watched silently as his misty eyed sister gently stoked the face of his hideous photographed doppelganger, seemingly not noticing the evil smirk it offered back to her.

Light felt something akin to dread as he marched down the street beside his sister; what was going to happen now? Would she suddenly be attacked by his worshippers? Would he have to watch his future self do something awful to her? Would he watch his own sister turn against him and joining some crazy political fringe party?

Whatever they were walking into, Light was certain it was going to be painful.

He shuddered, the wind whipped around his night clothes, which were still a little damp from the rain cloud and the previous storm. His mind lingered on the deaths of the Shadow radio journalists. Was there a way to prevent his killing of innocents? The obvious choice would be to not use the media. In his time, Light really had no choice but to rely on news reports. He did not have the power, regardless of who his father was, to check the records of criminals in order to judge for himself if they were guilty or not. He definitely could not investigate them personally. However, as the ruling figure he was now, would it not be possible for him to create a police force to his standards? The answer, in short, was a resounding 'no.

Despite how many different scenarios he analysed the conclusion was always the same; Light knew that he, as one man, would not be able to create a police force to his high standards for the whole of Japan never mind every country in the entire planet. It was a pipe dream. Humans would, inevitably, fail. There would still be corruption and human error because Light could not over see everyone personally. As mentioned before, running a massive force for Japan would be too difficult. It just wasn't feasible in terms of time, training and money. The best Light would be able do would be to set a certain standard within the force, but really, most police forces were already attempting to follow an ideal. But humanity could not live up to them. Rather, the force would be full of the usual idiots, traitors and worn down good cops (like his father.) The only difference would be that when caught, Light would execute them. However, that is only if they got caught. It didn't really change the issue that catching the correct people as criminals would be obscenely difficult; more difficult than Light had previously ever cared to admit.

There were preventative measures that could be taken to prevent governments using Kira through the media into killing 'social undesirables.' First of all, if a pattern emerged from the same group of people were being killed (for example, or they had the same ethnicity or religion) Kira would be able to employ officers to investigate the situation. He could even make up a team dedicated to making sure governments were not abusing Kira's power. Granted, this would take money and influence and so would only be possible after Light had gained the upper hand over the Task force and L. In the meantime there was nothing to prevent the media from using him. In any case, his team would be able to investigate into why so many people of one group were being convicted.

However, this too was complicated, the reasons could range from government led genocide, institutionalised racism or prejudice within a society that that society did not even recognise themselves, to the fact that a certain group more criminal than another. If the last case was true, then that would require further investigation as why would one group be more criminal than another? Often, the more criminal group lived in difficult circumstances, such as poverty, a lack of education and other issues that would encourage resentment between them toward the rest of the society they lived in. In certain lands, Light knew that being a criminal (such as joining in gang warfare or being forced into guerrilla armies) was something that people were forced into. In conclusion, all of this data collecting would mean that Kira would have to ask the government to intervene in order to try and help these people; any otherwise generation after generation would be judged because their circumstances wouldn't allow them to be anything other than criminal. This in turn bought up the difficulty of criminal behaviour in general. Would it not be unfair to investigate social context as a cause for criminality in minority groups, when criminals in majority groups would simply be judged and executed? Would not social deprivation, threats and mental illness happen to people in all groups? Why excuse one and not the other?

Light's thoughts halted as he stared at the ruins of the Toshogu shrine. 'Hail Kira, the TRUE GOD' amongst other graffiti messages offering similar sentiments were scrawled across the destroyed derelict building. The smell was horrific. People had defecated in the area. Strewn across the floor was various bits of litter, condoms and injection needles. Light felt a strange burning inside his chest; he was not religious, but he appreciated beauty and spirituality. He also appreciated how closely shintoism was connected to his culture ad beloved country. He almost felt, to use the silly, over used term, that his heart as breaking.

Arriving at the opposite side, the siblings saw a man leaning idly against a taxi. Sayu smiled tentatively and hailed him. The man, who was young, handsome and dark haired, grinned at her. "Miss Yagami?" His accent was foreign, it sounded perhaps...English? Light couldn't be sure. The man had masked it well.

Sayu confirmed her identity and got into the car with him.

"I'm afraid I'm going to have to blind fold you."

"O-Ok..." Sayu looked petrified, and seemed to be staving off a panic attack for most of the trip. Light had known she would be frightened (she would have been a fool not to have been) but he never expected her reaction to be so strong. She was sweating so much her hair was sticking to her face, she was gasping as if she could not breath, she was shaking profusely and her legs were clenched tightly together; Light wondered if she was trying not to actually wet herself.

The driver kept glancing at her in the rear view mirror, and seemed to have enough decency to talk to her (though it was a one-sided conversation) in an attempt to calm her down. He drove quickly, making many turns and even going back on himself on occasion, no doubt he was either trying to confuse Sayu's sense of direction, to lose any potential stalkers or quite possibly both.

When he finally stopped they were out in the countryside, somewhere Sayu could be hurt or killed, and no one would know. In front of them was a small barnyard. Sayu stumbled when getting out the car, and gagged a few times; luckily she was not sick. When she felt stronger, the man held her arm in a gentlemanly manner and led her to the barn door. On the front of it, a crude drawing of a fish was carved into the wood.

Light recognised it. It was the sign of the Christians.

Inside, the set up was that of a catholic church. Several pictures and statues collected from various churches (Light noticed that many were not even part of the Roman Catholic ideology) were placed reverently at the front on a stage.

An old man came out and warmly welcomed Sayu.

"My dear girl, we have been watching you for a long time! Please sit." They sat at one of the pews, Sayu still shaking a little. "I cannot tell you my real name, but you may call me Quilish Ruvie."

"That's an unusual name, it will be hard for me to pronounce."

"My dear, with your English speaking skills I doubt it."

The compliment hung in the air uneasily. "How do you know about me?" Sayu queried as the men continued smiling at her genially. " How long have you been watching me?"

"Oh since about four months ago." Apparently, 'Quilish Ruvie' seemed to think that didn't sound strange. "We are a group that was founded by two men, brothers. You'll meet them later. First, I want to show you around."

"Are you Christian?"

"Sort of," he smiled. "we believe that the third part of the Bible in being created."

"The third-?"

"First there was the Hebrew Text, then the Greek. We believe we are entering a third. WE believe that Christ has indeed returned and no," he emphasised the last word as Sayu blanched, "no we don't think your brother is Jesus. We think your brother has been led astray by the Devil."

"Then who is the new Christ?" Sayu sounded wary.

"Come with us."

Following the young 'taxi-driver' and 'Quilish' down some stairs into a well lit basement, beautiful pictures of Saints were painted on the wall. However, one in particular caught Sayu and her invisible brother's eye. This was either a new Saint...or someone (or something) else all together. Light gaped stupidly. The painting was of a tall, blonde and somewhat androgynous boy, the rosary wrapped around his left wrist and a silver pistol clutched firmly in his right hand. He managed to look both beautiful and terrifying at the same time.

"Who is this?" Sayu breathed, but Light saw recognition in her eyes.

"Mello, a predecessor of L; we have it on good authority that his real name was Michael." Quilish looked up reverently, "as John the Baptist was to Jesus, the great detective L was to the real saint Michael; a precursor of something even greater than itself. The similarities between Michael and Jesus cannot be coincidental. Michael was a revolutionary and killed by Kira the devil, like nothing more than a common criminal, in front of all the nations." Quilish's eyes widened, the religious fervour even more fevered "he was most assuredly Christ re-born..."

Sayu stepped back from the masterly depiction, "he believed strongly in his cause," she muttered, looking at the ground, her eyes dark, "but people...innocent people, got hurt...due to his...convictions..."

Quilish seemed to pick up on her changed demeanour, and whilst not commenting on it, his fiery reverence of the new and recently martyred messiah lessened slightly. "We are at our most powerful when we suffer. That is why we rejoice in pain." He said obliquely and unhelpfully. However, Sayu still smiled, "who started this place?"

Quilish looked at her, "ah yes,I said you could meet our leaders. We call them Jude and James, but the most trusted know their real names."

"Jude and James, like the brothers of Jesus?"

The boy who had driven Sayu laughed slightly and spoke for the first time since the taxi drive. "Yeah, only because we don't know if John the Baptist had any brothers!"

Sayu cocked her head, "what do you mean?"

Light however, had gone pale with shock.

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