A Death Note Carol

Seeing Ryuuk

Sometimes we need to be hurt in order to grow. We must fail in order to know. We must lose in order to gain. Some lessons are learned best through pain.- (No idea who said that.)


As L headquarters loomed ahead, dominating the skyline, the markets and people petered out. Only the noise of insistent rain and the hum of the car engine disturbed the silence. The Japanese lanterns were also gone. Aside from dozens of red dots belonging to CCTV cameras, the darkness had reclaimed dominance and it finally felt like night time again. Light almost fell into a doze, his mind exhausted. Thank god it was Future. He could not take much more of this Supernatural lesson. He wanted to go home. He currently had no plan for the future. He just wanted to go to bed.

Images swirled in his mind.

The angry crowds in communist Russia, with an abused Luka and feuding brothers.

His sister alone in the snow.

The girl and Matsuda running.

The dead children.

All the dead children.

Large metal gates had been placed around L headquarters . Dark soldiers in black, unrecognisable uniforms and armed with guns were placed around the circumference. Light shook himself awake regretfully. He needed to be alert for the up-coming reunion between the siblings. The headquarters looked like a fortress. Sayu's expression did not look surprised, so Light assumed the building had looked like this for a while. It made sense of course. Kira lived in there now. And Kira would need protection from the likes of L sympathisers.

Strange. Light really had believed that in his perfect world, there would be no dissent. Of course, at first there would be, but those dissenters would be either criminals, and therefore eventually wiped away, or sympathetic, far-left liberal fools who would soon understand that he was right and play along. But then, Light hadn't betted on the idea that his New World would not work. That he himself would become corrupted. It was that that was strange. Light was so particular in everything, yet he had blinded himself to obvious flaws. He had focused so much on judging everyone else, he had forgotten himself. The main flaw he could now see was that he was not omnipresent. He could not see everything and know everything. Judging by all the CCTV, Kira must have worked this out. But even CCTV did not really work. It was expensive, they could be broken (he thought of the smashed camera outside Sayu's flat) and they still impinged on the privacy rights of all the good people. Light knew thanks to that fool L that being watched by camera all the time was not pleasant, and he had been guilty.

They drove through an electronic gate, before parking at the front of the building. The men got out and opened the door for Sayu, then they flanked her as they walked into Headquarters, as if she had somewhere to escape to if she did run. Guards were at the front door. A keypad needed a code punching in before they got in. Even when inside, two more guards bolted the door after them.

Security was ridiculous.

It was whilst being led through beautifully decorated hallways inside that Misa suddenly arrived. Light recoiled. He was still angry at her betrayal as Kira. So, Misa was still alive? That meant that Kira still did not know of her non-righteous killings of young girls. Maybe Misa had stopped in the future? It didn't make Light feel less emasculated, but it alleviated the worry of why he had, evidently, never figured out what she had done.

Misa cooed over Sayu as if she were an adorable puppy. Sayu smiled tensely and bore it well. Her expression was the same one Light would have whenever Misa draped herself along his arm or torso. However, Sayu used to like Misa. It must have been a shock to find out that the innocent little star was part of Kira's plan.

Misa herself looked exactly the same. She had had work done. Light looked at her closely. Whoever the surgeon was he had done a very good job. Misa's looks were the kind that faded quickly because they were so reliant on her youth. Plastic surgery would have been her only option. However, looking at the few photographs on the walls, none of them were of Misa. The pictures were of Kira with different suited men. The only female face amongst them was his old college girlfriend, whom he had been forced to give up when Misa crashed into his life. He hadn't ever loved Takada, (though he had some respect for her dignity and ambition) nor had he thought her all that clever so he wondered if having her in such a prominent position was his way of punishing Misa for all the times she irritated him. If so, that was quite passive-aggressive of him. But then, if Light was anything, it was passive-aggressive.

Nonetheless, despite everything, here Misa was living with him. Still. Even though he knew Rem would be dead now. Light had planned to kill her sometime after L's death. Why was she still alive?

In the corner of his eye, Light saw Sayu put her hand in her pocket. She was grasping the piece of Death Note. Misa shooed the guards away and led Sayu into a room where Kira sat. He was in a dark suit and was surrounded by important looking men. A number of them were in uniforms identifying them as high officials within the police force and army. They atmosphere was heavy and tense. The men looked grim. It reminded Light of when Kira had designed a Satan (L) in order to justify the evil that still existed.

Misa had not knocked on the door, but hurtled in, Sayu in tow. Sayu had the decency to look embarrassed as Misa hugged Kira tightly and made odd, affectionate squeaking noises. Kira stiffened but forbore it in the same fashion Light had for the last few months. "It's been years and I am still putting up with her," he thought. "Why? After all, when I return home, I have to re-asses my actions as Kira, but this person," he looked at the older visage of himself, "is more brutal than I and less restrained. Why has he left her alive?"

It took a few moments for Light to realise that beside him Sayu had suddenly become rigid. Turning to her, he saw her face had turned a ghastly pale. Her dark eyes were fixated to the top corner of the room. Following her gaze, Light saw the terrible visage of Ryuuk.

Light had become accustomed to Ryuuk's appearance so that he was no longer put on edge when the creature suddenly appeared in front of him or floated down through the ceiling or through a wall. Part of it was because Light had been determined not to be afraid. The creature laughed at him too much anyway. Light did not want to give Ryuuk the satisfaction of seeing him visibly frightened every time they saw one another.

However, Ryuuk's horrible appearance had been forcefully emphasised during his time with Present, where the hideous versions of Ryuuk and Rem had appeared under the car. What had Present called them again? Oh yes, Cruelty and Obstinance. He hadn't really understood at the time, but now he was beginning to see what Present meant. Light felt his heart grow a little heavier.

It seemed that failure haunted his steps as much as the Time Spirits.

That all being said, he felt a mixture of pride and jealousy at Sayu's initial reaction to Ryuuk. When first meeting Ryuuk, Light had screamed hysterically. Sayu simply stood there, even as the grinning Satyr floated towards her. To be fair, Light could afford to scream; if Sayu had screamed, she would be caught and the whole thing would be over. Light was not certain that Kira would murder her, but he would definitely punish her in some way.

It looked closely into her face, chuckling malevolently. Sayu shuddered and looked away. She focused her gaze on Kira, who was trying to convince Misa to wait outside for him. The various officials hid their disdain well.

The Ryuuk did something that made Light's spine turn to ice. He looked directly at him and his chuckle evolved into full blown laughter. "Can he see me?" Wondered Light. The whole thing was not making sense. Was this the real world, an alternate reality, a hallucination bought on by the spirits or had the current world somehow actually sped up? At laughter of Ryuuk's suddenly made the time space continuum even more baffling and bizarre.

Kira, who had been looking over since Ryuuk floated towards her, suddenly narrowed his eyes.

"Gentleman," he addressed the important-looking officials as he stood, "I'm must speak to Miss Yagami for a few minutes. Please excuse me."

Then men looked quietly frustrated but no one uttered a word against Kira. Light noticed how, though Kira's words were polite, his tone made it clear that his decisions were not to be questioned. Kira was in complete control. It was the sort of future Light always envisioned for himself; that he would be a competent and powerful leader. So why did watching Kira seem so...cheap and worthless?

It was during these brief and dark thoughts that something decidedly odd happened. Light wasn't surprised to find out later that it was all to do with L's successors, who all seemed to have his flair for melodrama.

Just as Light approached Sayu, his face hard and his eyes cold, there was a huge amount of noise, and bright lights blinded everyone shining through the windows.

The windows then smashed as armed men, their faces hidden behind crash helmets, broke through them, and began to shoot various officials. Kira was leapt upon by various body guards and Misa, while Sayu, who stood stunned, was grabbed by one of the men and carried out of the window.

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