Two months later
Everything over the last two months had been going extremely smooth. Jace and I were getting along. Jonathan and I had been sending messages back and forward. All I learned was that my husband and father-in-law have private meetings once a week, but I never knew what they were about. Jonathan has been growing tired of the lack of evidence, so he is probably going to give up soon, which would me I could put my past behind me, and live in the present. I still have a little while before that can happen though.
Jonathan requested that I try to sneak into one of their little meetings, so here I am, wondering around Stephen's tent. I know which area I want to go in, but I need to wait until the coast is clear. Finally no one was around. I slipped underneath the side of the tent, trying to listen to Jace and Stephen's private conversation. The area I picked to hide had a few crates in the way, so I wasn't visible.
"Is it really so smart to try this attack so soon? He just gave us his sister to create peace." Jace said, pacing behind his father.
"We needed Clarissa. She knows the castle. She knows her brother. You saw her mark when she arrived; who do you think gave it to her?" Stephen exclaimed.
"Her brother. She told me." Jace glanced down.
"Do you think she will go along with our plan?" Stephen asked, as someone bumped into the tent wall, sending me toppling forward.
"Clary?" Jace's voice questioned me. "What in the world are you doing?!" He hulled me to my feet, squeezing my arm tightly.
"I- I-" Words left me.
"Jonathan, calm down." Stephen rested his hand on his son’s arm. Jace released me, making me lose my balance. I stumbled back on my butt, starring at the two men towering above me. "Come here little one." Stephen extended his hand, helping me to my feet. "What all did you hear?" He crossed his arms, looking me straight in the eyes.
"I didn't mean-" I paused, picking at my nails. If I handled this badly, I could end up with my head rolling on the ground.
"Her brother sent her a carrier pigeon." Jace chimed in, looking over at his father. "What correspondence have you been sending him?" I've never heard Jace's voice like this, and it terrified me.
"I've-" My heart dropped. Why couldn't I speak?
"Search our tent for any notes from her brother." Jace ordered some guards around, and they quickly scurried off.
"Jace, I'm-" I started, but I was cut off when the back of his hand connect with my face. I gasped, as my face slung to the side. I took a few calming breaths, standing back of straight.
"That was unnecessary." Stephen narrowed his eyes at Jace, who was red with anger.
"I let you into my home, into my life, and you were spying on us." Jace bit out. I could see the look of betrayal across his face, but I was burning with anger now.
"Yes, I did. You know why?! I never wanted to come here! I never wanted to marry you! I never wanted to be part of this world!" I screamed, suddenly finding my voice again. "He said I could go back if I found proof you were traitors. I was so close to thinking that this place was better than my home, but apparently I was wrong." I hissed, locking my eyes with Jace's "At least I expected my father or brother to hit me, unlike you, who promised to never strike me." I snapped, glaring harshly at him.
"Father could we have a minute alone." He looked over at his father.
"I'm going to check with the search and be back. Don't do anything stupid." Stephen patted Jace's shoulder, as he walked out of the tent. Jace grabbed my throat, making me wheeze. I grabbed hold of his wrist, trying to get him to remove it.
"I promised not to hit you when I thought you were trying to be my wife. You tricked me. I thought we were almost to a point where we were beyond indifference, but I guess I was wrong. You didn't want to lie with me because you didn't want my seed to impregnate you? You didn't want to bear my son." His voice slowly got more and more threatening.
"I'm sorry." Tears dripped from my eyes, realizing how much this hurt him.
"No, you’re not." He released me, shoving me into a chair.
"Jace, I didn't have a choice." I whispered.
"Yes, you did. Your mine now. Not his. You could have done whatever you wanted! Instead you snuck around, gaining my trust, and reported it all to your psychotic brother." He swiped his father's desk clean of all the papers.
"I didn't know you trusted me. I didn't know you felt like this." I pursed my lips, feeling like a jerk.
"Well if you paid attention, you would have noticed." He sighed, sitting down next to me. "I'm sorry." He shook his head.
"I've had worse." I muttered, rubbing my cheek.
"That's no excuse." He buried his face in his hands, kicking himself for his behavior.
"I'm not indifferent." I mumbled, looking up at him.
"Whatever." He stood up, as Stephen walked into the room with a handful of my brother’s notes. He threw at my feet with a face of pure disgust. "Tell her our plans. See what she thinks. I'm going to kill that stupid bird." Jace stormed out of the tent, leaving me to feel completely alone and ashamed.
"We were going to rise against your brother. He is a vial creature. I'm not even sure if he's human."
"Then why did you accept me as a bride? I don't understand why you would want to take me if you were planning on betraying him." I asked hurriedly.
"You have a legitimate claim to the throne. Your people loved you. I know we are considered savages, but we are a lot less cruel then your father and brother ever were. We want you to be queen, and help us fight in this war. You know him. You know the castle. Help us." Stephen pled with a serious look on his face.
"I- I don't know. My brother- if you lose-" I rambled, unable to look at him. "What will happen to me if I don't?" I asked softly.
"You will have two guards follow you around at all times. You can only leave your tent for ceremonies and meals. You will produce Jace's heir. I know Jace has been kind to you by letting you adapt before you are with child, but I will order him to take you every day until you are pregnant." He explained harshly.
"No, Jace wouldn't do that." I shook my head, feeling tears sting at the back of my eyes.
"He will do whatever I tell him to do." His voice was threatening. He cupped my cheek gently. "I consider you family, little one, but you betrayed us. You can either switch sides, or face the consequences." He told me, as he dropped his hand. I took a shaky breath, sighing quietly.
"Can I sleep on it?" I turned my gaze back up to his.
"Yes. Now go." He stepped aside, letting me go back to the tent. I noticed I was being followed by guards. I could feel everyone's eyes on me, and even though this just happened, I felt like the entire clan knew.
I was so stupid. I never should have spied on them. I should have just accepted my fate, but I had to think about it. If they lost, I don't know what my brother would do to me. I know it would be bad. He can barely stand my outburst. What would he do if I actually betrayed him? I stepped into the tent, and it was destroyed. I sighed, beginning to gather together the papers on the floor, and set them on the desk. I collected our clothes that were thrown astray, laying them on my bed. I began folding and sorting through them. I have to keep busy. I sniffed heavily, feeling my eyes sting with tears. I pushed them back, continuing to fold. Once I finished, I put them back where they belong. I went over to the bed, making it roughly. I could feel my heart pounding in my ears by now, and I couldn't stand it. I pounded my fist lightly against my head, trying to make these feelings go away. Tears slipped from my cheeks finally, as I finally sobbed. I'm so tired. I wrapped my arms around myself, feeling overwhelmed with shame. I should have done nothing. I should have ignored my brother's suspicion.
I got to my feet, throwing Jace's chair across the tent. I screamed in annoyance, flipping the desk. Destroying the few objects we had in the room did nothing to ease my mind. I went to start ripping our home down, when two strong arms wrapped around me.
"Let go of me!" I cried out, struggling in whoever's arms were around me.
"No." Jace's voice came out roughly. I sagged against his arms, as I kept crying. He huffed in annoyance or sadness. I couldn't tell, but he held me. I didn’t want him to ever let go of me.
"I'm so sorry." My voice hiccupped when I spoke. He rubbed my back in slow circles, trying to get me to stop sobbing. I sniffed in a big breath, as I looked up at him.
I couldn't lose him.
I work too hard on this relationship for him to look at me like this.
I knew what I wanted to do now.
I pushed myself up onto my tippy toes, mingling our lips together. He moved hesitantly at first, before he gave in, and started kissing me hungrily. I tangled my fingers into his hair, as he led me towards the bed. I couldn't believe I was about to actually do this. I felt the back of my knees hit the bed, making Jace draw away from me. We were both panting heavily, starring at one another.
"What are we doing?" Jace seemed almost pained, as he tried to catch his breath.
"Take me." I panted, standing strong in front of him.
"What?" He let go of me, seeming extremely surprised at my request. .
"I want you to take me." I tried to slow my breathing, so I could act calmer then I was. "Please." I started untying my shirt.
"Clary, you betrayed me." He hissed, furrowing his brow.
"I haven't learned enough to betray you! Did you read the notes? All of them were him asking me if I found anything. The only thing I found was you and your father having private meetings! Today was the first time I tried to sneak in and I only did it because my brother threatened me." I snapped. "I was stupid." I admitted, walking up to him. "But I didn't do anything to compromise your plan." I finished pulling the strings on my shirt, tossing it aside. He sucked in a breath, locking his eyes on my breast.
"10 minutes ago you yelled at me about hitting you and told me you never wanted to marry me." His eyes didn't return to my face as he spoke. I peeled my skirt off, seeing how he would react. "You are a minx." He shuffled closer, keeping his eyes glued to my body. "Why should I do this?"
"Because you trust me." I breathed, pushing my hands into his vest, and slipped it off.
"I don't anymore." His hands ghosted over my sides, as he bit his lip.
"If you didn't, you wouldn't have come back in here. You wouldn't have yelled at me because I hurt you. You wouldn't have hit me for betraying you." I murmured, as I saw his face contort into confusion. He pulled my hips up against him, making me gasp. He leaned down slowly, pausing before our lips met.
"Why do you want this now?" He spoke against my lips. "Is it because you actually feel for me, or is it because you want a distraction?"
"I-" I paused, taking a gulp.
"I just want to know where this is going. I don't want the false hope you've been feeding me the whole time." He gripped my hip tightly, inching closer.
"I care about you. I need you, and the way you looked at me earlier today hurt me so much. Please. I know I'm ready. I won't betray your trust again." I murmured, starring into his eyes.
"How can I believe anything you say?" Every word came out with the bitterness of being hurt.
"Because if I accept the deal or not, I would still be stuck here with you. I would have guards around me whenever you aren't around. I can't betray you. But most of all I don't want you to ever look at me like you did in your father's tent." I cupped his cheek lightly, starring up into his eyes. He sighed, leaning down to kiss me again. He moved me up and onto the bed, keeping our lips passionately connected. His mouth broke apart from mine, making me whimper in disappointment. I want him back here. He stood up, so he could work the laces of this leather pants. He struggled for a minute to get them off, but he was finally freed of his pants. He crawled over me, tracing his hand along my bare body.
"Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?" He breathed, as I slid my hand down his solid back. I shook my head, as he leaned down to capture my lips. I felt his hands touch all over my body, when he cradled himself in between my legs. My heart was racing, making my eyes flutter shut. I felt his fingers grip my legs tightly, and a pit of desire formed in my stomach.
He kissed me everywhere. He touched me everywhere. I could hardly contain myself, as he slowly entered my most sensitive area.