Gleeful Dead

Scooby Fucking Doo

4 buckets of blood out of 10


Ash made his way down the hallway and was about to turn a corner when a loud crashing sound told him something was up. He shot his gun at a locker and listened. If it was a student, they would have screamed. Instead he heard snickering and a clanging sound.

Definitely a deadite.

He moved his gun around the corner and shot it, then went around to inspect the damage. Around the corner he saw not one but three deadite cheerleaders stumbling backwards on the ground. He had got one of the in the chest, and since they were being held together by a cage over their heads, all three had fallen backwards.

They hissed at him angrily, trying to get up.

"Aww, whats wrong?" He said walking over to them and kicking the cage back over. "You girls don't seem to have that usual cheerleader pep," He emptied the used up shells from his gun and re-loaded. The cheerleaders growled and squirmed in their cage, kicking their legs violently.

"Allow me to put you out of your misery..."

He fired his gun twice and reloaded quickly. Two deadleaders heads had been blown off and the one that was left spat green bile at his feet as he made his way towards it.

"You can blow us apart all you want, we're still gonna feast on your—" it began, but was cut off by a loud blast from the double barrel.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," He said, as its head rolled around inside the cage. "What else is new?"


"Why are we going this way?" Puck asked, following the group to the cafeteria.

"Brittany is hungry, didn't you hear?" Santana snapped, putting her arm around Brittany.

"I really don't think food is what we should be focusing on right now." Rachel piped in. "There is obviously some sort of unnatural evil a foot, I think we should devise some sort strategy."

"I've got a strategy, it's called 'find the others, and get the fuck outa here,'" Puck sneered.

"But don't you want to figure out whats going on and put a stop—"

"No. This is isn't fucking Scooby Doo. I'm not Fred, you're not Daphne and Brittany isn't Scooby. This shit is real, and people are dead. We're finding the others, and going."

Rachel pouted throughout the rest of walk to the cafeteria, but Puck ignored her. Instead, he walked alongside Quinn, repeatedly asking her if she was sure she was OK. Santana, who Puck was currently "dating" was following behind them. She would have been furious, if she'd not been too busy worrying over Brittany to notice.

They reached the cafeteria, and were greeted with a welcome sight. Kurt, Sam, Finn and Mike were all there and they had Artie, Tina and Mercedes with them.

"How did you find us?" Mike asked, standing up and going over to them. The rest stayed at a table where they had a map laid out in front of them.

"We didn't, Brittany was hungry." Puck said, jerking his finger back to the blond who was now crying over the cafeterias food, which seemed to have rotted.

"Yeah, the foods messed up." Mercedes said, studying the map.

"When did you guys meet up?" Rachel asked, taking a seat next to Kurt.

"We went by the nurses office, to get some supplies, just in case. They were there."

"I wasn't feeling well this morning, Tina and Mercedes took me there. We waited for the nurse, but she never showed up..." Artie said, wheeling up next to Rachel. He did look a little green, and Rachel inched away from him.

"Why did you come here?" Santana asked, eyeing Mercedes.

"It only has one entrance, we figured it was the best place to come and figure shit out," Mercedes snapped back, moving in front of Santana, her hands on her hips.

"Guys, chillout" Mike said, raising his hands up in front of his face. "We need to come up with a plan, not kill each other."

Mercedes rolled her eyes, and went to sit by the window.

"Hah!" Rachel shouted, poiting at Puck. "I told you we needed a plan!"

Puck shoved his hands into his pocket and grumbled.

"So, what we have here is a map of the school," Mike continued, ignoring Rachel's outburst. "We've identified all the exits and we're trying to map out the best escape route."

"What are the little red dots?" Santana asked, leaning over Kurt's shoulder.

"Thats the problem. Those dots are where we've seen...trouble." Mike said. Kurt sniffed.

"Brad attacked him earlier," Sam explained. "And he came at us on our way back from the nurses office."

"It was messed up," Tina said, standing next to Mike. "He had a microphone stand through his chest." Kurt began sobbing, and Sam patted him on the back.

"What else?" Quinn asked, her voice shaking. "What else did you see?"

Mike and Finn glanced at eachother. "Its not important..."

"What? Tell me." She asked, placing her hand on her hip. "You think I can't handle it?"

Finn gulped. "Well... it would appear that you, Brittany and Santana are the only sane cheerios left." He said, looking skeptically over at Brittany, who was making two rotted carrots interact with each other.

"What do you mean?" Santana asked sharply. "All the other cheerios are... whatever it is thats happening... it got them all?"

Mike nodded. "It seems so. We were attacked by a least a dozen cheerios, in various sections of the school. 3 of them were in a cage."

Quinn sat down. "We saw them. They chased us into a broom closet."

"Whats happening?!" Rachel cried, getting up to throw herself at Finn. "What is going on?"

"It seems like people are becoming... possessed. By, uh, something." Mike said.

Santana rolled her eyes. "Oh that's great. 'Possessed by something?' Could you be anymore vague?"

"Yes, I could." Mike replied. "What's happening is obviously being caused by something not-good that wants to do bad things."

Santana gave him the finger and walked over to stop Brittany from putting the rotted carrots she was playing with in her mouth.

"Anyways," Mike continued "Our problem is that there are... possessed people... at every hallway leading away from here."

"So we just punch our way through." Puck said, smacking his fist into his hand. "Kick some freaky possessed ass."

Mike shook his head. "That's a bad idea. This is a just a map of where we've seen them. They could have moved, there could be more now... we don't know what's out there. We don't how strong they are, and we don't know how they possess people."

"They just take whoever they want," Mercedes said quietly, facing towards the window.

"What?" Santana asked, leading Brittany by her hand back over to the table.

"The weak, the emotionally vulnerable, they take them first. And they'll come for you. Each one of you."

"Mercedes, stop it. You're freakin' me out." Quinn said slowly. Mercedes cackled and turned her head around. Her eyes were milky white and her teeth had become jagged and sharp. As she laughed, they ripped her lips to shreds and her mouth turned blood red. Although her head was facing them, her body had stayed firmly in place, facing the window.

Rachel screamed and fainted, and a shocked Finn accidentally let her fall to the ground.

"We have to get out of here, come on," Mike said, pulling Rachel up. The rest stood frozen, staring at Mercedes who stayed rooted in front of the window, laughing hysterically.

"Run!" Mike shouted, as Mercedes suddenly seemed to fly forwards towards them. She landed on the table as they all scattered, and spun her body back around so it was facing the same direction as her head. She cackled as they ran.

"One by one, it's gonna be fun." She screamed after them in a sing-song voice. "Two by two, comin for yooooouuuuu!"

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