I had never felt so uncomfortable in my life.
It wasn't the fact that I was forced to wear this horrid dress that made me look like a great big pumpkin. It wasn't because I was about to freeze to death in the September wind that was rushing past me, messing up my hair and my hideous dress. And it wasn't even that I here against my will, guilted and threatened by my controlling parents, or that I hadn't spoken to her in months.
It was the fact that she had won. She was about to take away everything I had hoped all my life for; dreamt every night about, and prayed that it would come true. Now, as I watched helplessly as they gazed lovingly into each other's eyes, their glorious future laid out before them, I couldn't help but hate her.
I could never hate him. After all, Draco had never even met her until last summer. He was all mine until then; my secret friend... among other things. Evidently, the 'secret' aspect of our relations had backfired. The arrangement that was originally been made to prevent Pansy from finding out (and thus strangling me...) had now ruined my life, and no one could say that what she was doing was wrong! Telling my parents all about the things I'd done would bring me nothing but grief and shame. Besides, it's not like my parents would have believed me anyways. They thought I was lying about being very close to Draco all these years, trying to impress them or something.
I didn't blame them though; it is a little suspicious to suddenly say that you had relations with Draco Malfoy right after it is announced that he is, in fact, going to marry your sister. If it had been her in my position, I would have called her a liar.
But she didn't call me a liar, and neither did my parents; they just ignored my pleas and complaints, and continued on with their merry lives as if I didn't exist. My parents always saw me as less important than my younger sister; she is, after all, more beautiful than I am... or so I'm told. But to my sister, I wasn't a burden, but a threat to exposure. I knew what she was really like, what she had done all those years at Hogwarts, and she knew that I was waiting for the right moment to expose her...
No, neither my sister nor my parents called me a liar because they knew it was all true. They knew I would never make up such a story for attention (that was her trick...). The reality was that they didn't care, and she intended on keeping it that way. She claimed it was mother and father's idea. However, unlike the previously mentioned people, I am not such a fool to her ways. I knew what she was capable of; what she could convince anyone (especially mother and father) to do once she set her mind to it. Now she had suckered Draco, our parents, and all of my friends into a romance that was supposed to have happened by fate.
Everyone had forgotten the detail that Draco was here visiting me the day he met her. She had moved quickly after that, spinning her web. She truly was a black widow in the making... someone to rival Blaise Zabini's mother...
Yes, I saw what lied in store for them both; she getting what she wanted, as usual, and Draco getting what he wanted too... much to my dismay. I would give anything to have my past back... to be in her position once again... There was no use in me denying that he loved her now. Even though I knew he should love me; I knew things about him that no one else knew! I had fallen for him even before Pansy had made a move on him! But I, Daphne... foolish Daphne, who always thought everything through... Who never betrayed my friends because I knew that your life may someday depend on them, was too sympathetic and sweet to backstab them all! Now I wanted to drink a bottle of poison out of hatred for myself... If I owned a time-turner, I would not hesitate to go back and change everything... and at this rate, I also wouldn't hesitate in killing my sister either.
It was all her fault... She had turned my own parents against me, so no matter where I went or what I said, they were always there to chastise me; "Why can't you be happy for her? She's you little sister? You can't be jealous of your little sister!"
How I hated the word jealous. Because I knew that's what I was. After all, what other feeling was I expected to have when my little sister, who had always outshined me in every aspect of life, had now stolen what made my life extraordinary! I had confronted her once with this fact when she called me jealous the day I found out about this marriage; she took no blame for anything.
"You can't blame me for what fate has done! And how was I supposed to know I was falling in love? I've never been in love!" she cried, before dramatically running out of the room, leaving my mother to scold and scream at me, like it was my fault.
I knew better than them; Draco was certainly not the first guy she'd ever fallen for...There had been a string of guys that was as long as a class list! And I only knew this because I had seen her in action while at school; almost every month, there would be some new fling she would hang off of every waking moment, and then, as suddenly as they appeared, they would never be seen near her again. She sickened me because of this.
But Draco was my first love. And no matter how many times I told everyone this, no one never seemed to care. What's worse is that Draco had no clue that I was (still) madly in love with him! I never understood how he couldn't know; did he think I did all those things for him because we were just friends? Surely he wasn't that stupid!
If only I had been more beautiful... like her. If only I had been more charming and clever, like her. She was everything I wasn't. I cursed the fact that I was born first; the test-run of DNA and parenting that clearly had a less-than-satisfactory result (to no fault of mine, but I dare not tell my parents that). If I had been like her, then maybe I would still have him!
I'd already missed the 'If anyone has any objections, please speak now' part of the service. Letting my shoulders drop in defeat, I stood like a dead tree, swaying with the wind unconsciously. I held onto the bouquet with my nails dug into the stems to hold myself back. All I wanted to do now was rip her down off the steps and stand in her place.
Why should I hold back? She's ruined my life, and she should pay for it, even if she is my sister! Especially because she is my sister! I thought bitterly, gnawing the inside of my lip to sustain my urges to kill her. As far as I was concerned, the only thing we had in common were our parents and some of the same blood; she was no sibling of mine. This made it very difficult to not take the 4 steps towards her and rip her hair out or curse her... both these plans were running through my brain, and I was seriously thinking of acting on my thoughts.
"...Then I now pronounce you man and wife."
I felt my face contort with anger and confusion, which was halted by my mother jabbing her heel onto my toe. I couldn't believe I had zoned out for the entire ceremony. It was all about to end... both my torture and my chance at happiness...
"You may kiss the bride..."
Upon hearing those words, I turned and walked away, despite hearing my mother hissing angrily, demanding my return. I knew that she would rip me apart for 'making a scene' later, as would Astoria, but I didn't care; as far as I was concerned, my life was over, and I wanted to get a head start on my misery by being alone... give myself the chance to reflect on where I had gone wrong all those years ago...
When I found a quiet room in the Malfoy Manor, I locked the door behind me and stared into the fire I had just lit for myself. I was tempted to light the whole room ablaze, but decided it would accomplish nothing. I knew that I was acting mad, but that was because I felt mad! I had reflected on my past so much in the past year that I was beginning dream my own memories. But I couldn't stop myself; how had I let this happen to me?! How could I have gone from having everything, and it a fraction of a second, lose it all?
I suppose, it all started my first day at Hogwarts...