Dying Young

7

Staring at her reflection Clary's hands instantly moved to her head; a silent gasp escaped her mouth as her hands moved carefully around her newly shaved head. She felt tears escape her eyes as they streamed down her face; Maryse quietly walked up behind her to put a comforting hand on her shoulder. Clary looked up at the older woman and smiled

"I am fine, promise; just a little shocked I guess"

Maryse returned Clary's smile and nodded

"Of course; I am going to call Robert to let him know we are finished; I will be right back" with that Maryse walked out of the bathroom

Clary turned her attention back to her reflection, analyzing every detail of her face; she looked the same, with her bright green eyes, pale face that had freckles dusting over her small features but yet she didn't. Clary's hair had always been a huge part of her identity; nicknames were given to her because of the bright red color; she has always been known as the girl with the bright red hair. She remembered how she would lay on Jace's bed with him; Jace would run his fingers gently through her hair as she fell asleep in his arms; what would he say if he saw her now. Tears started to flow faster as they clouded Clary's vision; she didn't even realize when Maryse was standing behind her once again.

"Clary, darling are you okay" Clary sucked a deep breath, trying to control her emotions before speaking

"Yes; it's so stupid really; I just; I have always been known for my bright red hair, my trademark; I know it sounds pathetic; I am" Maryse silenced Clary by placing her hand gently over her mouth

"You are not saying anything that would sound stupid; do you hear me"

"Yes ma'am"

"Now that's settled, I have something for you" Maryse grinned as she handed Clary a bright red bag

Peering in Clary found several beautifully colored scarves; any color she could ever imagine

"I don't understand, what are these for"

Maryse's hand grabbed a bright blue scarf that had tiny silver sparkles all over it

"Turn around; watch what I do"

Clary did as she was told; watching Maryse closely through the mirror; Maryse placed the blue scarf on her head, she began twisting and turning the scarf until it sat perfectly covering Clary's entire bald head. Clary eyes widened as she stared at her reflection in the mirror; the scarf made her look like a totally different person, giving her an edgy artistic look.

Clary beamed as she jumped up from the chair to embrace Maryse

"Thank you, thank you, thank you; I absolutely love it"

Maryse was delighted that the scarves gave Clary so much happiness

"I am so glad; now you should be able to find a scarf out of that bag to match any and all of your outfits, however if you notice that you are missing a certain color or you happen to see one that you would like; please let me know"

Clary continued to grin as she nodded in understanding; just as she was turning to look once again in the mirror, Robert and Michael appeared in the doorway


"Clary, we thought we could discuss everything here instead of making you come back up to the hospital"

Clary looked to Dr. Wayland as he spoke

"Oh that's fine; it's just I promised Maureen that I would be back and I don't want her to think I forgot" Clary replied

"Dr. Herondale took care of Maureen; he promised that you would be back soon to see her; plus he gave her a chocolate sundae just to smooth things over" Robert replied with a grin

"So Maureen is not mad at me then" Clary asked as she stood staring at the two doctors

"I promise Maureen is not mad at you; she specifically told Stephen as long as you come to see her soon, she is fine"

Clary smiled thinking of the little girl; she could not wait until the wig was completed to give to her.

"Now that we have that taken care of; shall we go into the dining room to discuss your treatment?"

Dr. Wayland asked Clary as he looked at her with concern.

"Yes"

As the doctors began walking out of the room; Clary began to follow, but not before she gave Maryse another hug to thank her for everything she had done for her.

XxXxXxX

The two physicians and Clary sat around the Lightwoods dining table staring at one another for several minutes; they all seemed terrified to break the silence; Clary decided that she should be the one to finally break the ice

"Dr. Wayland, I have already apologized to Dr. Lightwood for the way I have acted over the past two months; I have been very selfish; I had no right to push you away, especially after everything you have done for me; please except my apology"

Dr. Wayland looked down at the table as he silently shook his head

"Clary; you have nothing to apologize before; believe me you are not my first patient to run from this type diagnosis; I am just thankful that you have decided to move forward"

"Yes, I am ready so what do you have in mind"

Clary was pulling and twisting her fingers tightly as she listened to Dr. Wayland's treatment plan for her; she may be ready to move forward with her treatment but that did not mean she wasn't terrified

Dr. Lightwood noticed Clary's uncomfortable appearance; leaning across the table he placed his hands over her own

"We are going to take care of you Clary; you are going to get through this, understand"

"Yes, sir"

Clary felt like a little child as silence once again invaded the dining room; she knew that Michael and Robert were staring at her as she looked down at the floor; she had to be brave she kept repeating over and over in her mind

"I know you will take care of me; it's just that I am scared; I am trying really hard to be brave; I keep telling myself I have to brave but I don't know how to do that anymore; I have lost everything; I have pushed almost everyone I love away; I have no idea what I am doing anymore; I just; I know I need the treatment, I want the treatment; I just" Clary looked up toward the two doctors as she finished speaking

"I am scared; I know that makes me weak but I am" she could feel the wetness on her face as tears covered her face

Robert and Michael just sat there staring at Clary for what seemed like hours before Michael spoke

"You are anything but weak Clary Fray; you are so many things but weakness is not one of them; look at what you have done for a perfect stranger" he was pointing toward Clary's head as he continued

"Look at what you have done for your family and our children; you Clary; you have done all that, on your own; no you are not weak my dear, if anything you are courageous"

Clary looked stunned as she listened to Dr. Wayland's little speech; she never once thought of herself like what he was saying; as she continued contemplating over his words Robert spoke out

"Clary, Michael, Stephen and I were all discussing that we think it would be best if you would stay with one of us; especially after your surgery"

Clary's eyes widened as she heard what he had just said

"Oh no; I can't, I just no" Clary was shaking her head back and forth as she tried to get the words out of her mouth

Michael stood quietly making his way around the table, stopping when he came to Clary's chair; kneeling down he gently turned the young girl to face him

"Please, please; let us help you; we want to take care of you, Clary; we are all your family; don't push us away"

More tears began escaping Clary's eyes as she silently agreed; Michael smiled in return as he stood up, once again taking his seat at the other side of the table; allowing Clary to calm down before speaking again

"Good, now you will have your PET scan in two days, Clary; after that we will move forward with your Bilateral Modified Radical Mastectomies and Life port placement this upcoming Monday"

"Okay" Clary whispered as she tried to grasp all of the information they were giving her

"Clary, I want you to stay with one of us from here on out; I know this is a lot to take in right now" Robert spoke as he watched Clary fretting over all the information she was receiving

Clary looked at the two physicians; studying them for any signs of deceit; she did not want to be anyone's charity case; when seeing that they both were sincere she agreed

"Yes, thank you; I think that would be for the best"

Michael and Robert's faces lit up as Clary agreed with their suggestion

"Great; now after your surgery on Monday we will have a nurse staying with you twenty four seven almost, and before you object Clary; the nurse is the one that proposed the idea to us"

Clary furrowed her brows in confusion as she frowned; she did not know of any nurse that would want to help her

"I don't know any nurses; why would this nurse want to help me"

Clary's question made Robert and Michael both chuckle; due to the nature of their answer. Robert looked at Clary with a mischievous grin as he cleared his throat to speak

"Do you remember speaking with Dr. Herondale earlier at the hospital?"

Clary simply nodded urging Robert to continue

"Well you see, this nurse happened to overhear what you had to say to him; and it seems you made quite an impression"

"I still don't understand what that has to do with anything" Clary huffed; this time Michael spoke

"The nurse's name is, Tessa Gray; Dr. Herondale is her boss and apparently she has been wanting to put him in his place ever since she started there over a year ago; she wants to repay you for saying everything that she has wanted to say to him"

Clary continued frowning; receiving help from Michael, Robert and Stephen was one thing but this Tessa Gray; Clary did not know her and she was not one to except handouts from anyone, especially ones she did not know. Michael knew exactly what Clary was thinking; knowing she was on the verge to refuse, he continued

"Clary she is a wonderful and sweet nurse; you will have drains after your surgery that will need caring for, so either you allow Tessa to help you or Robert and I will leave the hospital every hour to come back and check on you"

Dr. Wayland had Clary right where he wanted her; he knew that she would feel guilty causing him or Robert to travel back and forth from the hospital; she had to agree to Tessa looking after her now

"FINE; but I want to make this clear, as soon as my drains or whatever are removed and I am healed from surgery, Tessa will go back to whatever she does; I will not hsve anyone take care of me after that; living with all of you is bad enough; I will not allow someone to wait on me hand and foot too; I am serious after I have healed she goes" Clary stuck her finger out pointing it towards the two doctors

"I know what you two are thinking and it will not happen; I will not allow this nurse to stay with me as I undergo my chemo treatments, understand; I can and will do that on my own"

The two men finally nodded in agreement, knowing they could not argue with the stubborn girl in front of them


Clary was currently staying at the Wayland's home; after much debate on what home she would stay in when from all of the men, she finally put her foot down and decided for them. During the "BIG" talk with Robert and Michael; she had decided to go home with Michael; Clary then advised them that she would be staying with Dr. Herandole after her surgery, since Tessa was more familiar with him. Clary was unsure if the men agreed with her decision or not; she figured the physicians only agreed due to the fact that they were all afraid she would change her mind and refuse to stay with any of them.

Michael seemed thrilled that Clary agreed to stay with him until her surgery; he had taken her back to Luke's home and had helped her pack a few things to bring with her to his home. Once arriving to the Wayland's, Michael helped Clary with her luggage, taking all of her things directly to Jace's room; apparently he had already assumed that she would want to stay in that particular room. Clary had been surprised when she realized Michael put all of her things there; not, that she didn't secretly want to be in Jace's room; she was just unsure what Michael would think of her if she had voiced her desire to stay in his room. Once she was settled in Dr. Wayland informed Clary that he had to return to the hospital for surgery; he had also let her know that he had already ordered her favorite pizza and it would be delivered shortly, already being paid for of course.

Clary did not see Dr. Wayland again that night; after eating her pizza reluctantly; she did not like the fact that Michael had paid for her food; Clary decided to shower and head to bed. Once she had showered; enjoying the fact that she no longer had to worry with drying her hair; Clary dressed in her pajamas and headed toward Jace's room.

She stood in his doorway; almost as if she were afraid to enter; it had been over two months since Clary had stepped foot in this room; over two months since she had lain in this bed. Taking a deep breath she anxiously tip toed toward Jace's bed; pulling down the covers with care, Clary climbed in the bed. When lying down on the pillows beneath her; Clary could not help but feel a tidal wave of emotions overcome her; as she breathed in his scent she allowed herself to feel everything that was Jace Wayland. She remembered every moment she had ever experienced with him; from their first kiss to their last fight; like a tsunami her emotions crashed around her. Clary pulled his covers tightly around her as she sobbed in to Jace's pillow; she shut her eyes tightly trying to pretend he was there right there at that very moment holding her, knowing that would be all she could ever have; soon exhaustion from the day finally took over and Clary fell into a deep sleep.



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