Giving you life away
My name is Clarissa Adele Herondale Fairchild Morgenstern, crown princess of Idris. If you're wondering it, no, I wasn't born as a princess, a terrible mistake and cruel secret took me where I am now. Who would have imagined that this was my fate? Although I hated the idea at the beginning, now I see all my life passing by and think… "How could I have resisted so much?"
Love is a silly and short promise, but when it gets to your heart, it's hard to let it go.
“A year, 3 months before”
“Fairchild, Clarissa” announced the Art Teacher calling Clary, this was the first day of the rest of her life, if she passed the exam all her dreams would be a step forward to come true, she just needed a 7 over 10!
“Here! “ She answered crossing her fingers for good luck. "Have a little faith, Clary! You're talented, you really are…" her thoughts encouraged her.
“Your score was 9, 35 over 10, you made it, Congratulations!” He said leaving her test on his table again. Her heart stopped beating for a moment and she shouted in excitement, all her partners looked at her as a crazy person, but she didn't care, she got in!
“Thank you very much!” She screamed while leaving the classroom to meet up with his Entire-Life-Best-Friend Simon Lewis, she had known him since they were like 3 months old! They were neighbors, they said their first word together, they went to the same school and now they were both waiting to enter Alicante Academy, the best (and most expensive) university in all Idris, but only with a scholarship, that's what the test was for, and she passed it. Clary went to the main hall and there she found Simon looking also very excited.
“How much? “ He asked first at looking at her happy expression
“9, 35! And you? “She said taking him by the shoulders with a little difficulty, she was really short.
“9, 30! We're in, Pumpkin! “He said happily, he lifted her with a hug and they both screamed together, excitement wasn't enough to describe what they were feeling.
“We have to celebrate this! “ She said, and he winked at her.
“You can bet that, I won't let you sleep tonight! “ He laughed; she hit him softly as they went through the door.
“No way, I have to begin with my sketches and you have to give your new guitar some use, you know make up some songs for your class…” she said remembering him that he had entered the Music Class and they both had to start working hard.
“Right, but the real classes don't begin until tomorrow and…” he was about to say when one of the thousand bodyguards that appeared told them to move away.
“Here we go…” she said with an angry expression.
“Hey, your mother told us about this. I'll quote her: "That Academy has even more guards than a prison! But well, if you want to study with Mr. Prince Charming I don't see why should I stop you", we knew this was going to happen…” he said making his best impression of Clary's mother, Jocelyn.
“That freaking prince, I don't even understand why he keeps coming to the Academy, don't they have servants to do all the work for them? What does he even study? How to stop being an arrogant and dependent cry baby?!” she didn't sound happy at all, and she had all the right to hate the Crown Prince Jonathan, for what she saw on the TV and what her friends had told her, he was a total asshole!
“Calm down, Clary, They could send you to jail for that…” he said, she just made her "I don't give a damn" face and watched as Prince Jace came out of his limo and talked to his friends Jordan Kyle and Sebastian Verlac, the 3 of them were some of the few students that could actually pay the semesters in the Academy, "Money makes the world go round" had said Liza Minnelli in Cabaret, and she was damn right.
“Show your respects to his Majesty” said one of the guards when the prince was close to them. Simon made a bow but Clary stayed right where she was, he looked at her worried. "Do it" he whispered, "No" she said back.
“Plebeians, they're all the same…” the prince said while looking at Clary
“Excuse me? “ She said getting very close to him; Simon knew it wasn't going to end well.
“Your mommy didn't tell you that you had to be kind with those who are superior? “ He said looking at her with contempt.
“You're no superior to me, fool! “ She answered and the prince's friends made a sound that sure indicated trouble.
“I can't believe they just let anybody enter this school, someone needs to teach this people some respect” he said passing beside her and then he went back to talk to Jordan and Sebastian as they entered the Academy.
“Can you believe him?!” She shouted when "The Lunatics Court" was already too far to hear her.
“Can I believe him? Yes, he was born a prince! Can I believe you? No! We have to give a good impression or everyone here will hate us, you know how they love Jonathan” Simon said, he was right once again, every girl in Idris loved Prince Jace and every guy in Idris wanted to be Prince Jace, that just made her hate him more.
“Well I swear by my loved grandpa, who's now in heaven, that I'll never… ever! Love that jerk! Never in my life! “She said and they took a cab to Clary's house.
Jocelyn was cooking lunch when the phone rang.
Her husband Luke wasn't at home and her daughter must have been coming back from her new school; everything was doing just fine, until she had to answer the phone.
“Hello? “ She said, she didn't want to believe that she, the dowager queen Imogen, was calling her.
“Dear Jocelyn, how are you?” the queen said with her always sweet and charming voice that everyone loved, but Jocelyn just didn't want to love that voice, she didn't want to love the monarchy as everyone in Idris did.
“I'm fine, thanks for asking, majesty. “ She said, but she wasn't really grateful.
“How is little Clary? You know that she is the reason why I call…” she said, Jocelyn knew that perfectly. Her father's agreement, the promise that poor Clary had to accomplish, she just didn't want to accept that the kings would take her baby girl away.
“She's doing great, majesty, but… I was wondering… she's too young to do it… couldn't we wait a bit more until she's ready? “She asked trying to convince the queen, though she knew it wouldn't work.
“Oh, darling… I wish I could help you, but… my Jace is turning 18 soon and he won't be able to access to the throne if the promise isn't held as it was planned, I understand it's hard, but it has to be done, dear.” she said, there was no other choice.
“But I heard that Prince Alexander is coming back soon; shouldn't he be taken in consideration too? “ She was looking for every single excuse to avoid Clary's destiny.
“Ah right, our Alec, as he's not completely a Herondale… he won't be able to access to the throne, unless he claims it, and the Crown Prince is turning 18 in 2 days, the agreement has to be done” the Queen was a very fair woman, but even she could not change the late King's rules.
“I understand majesty. Could I… have this little time to explain the situation to her? She… needs to know what will happen” she surrendered.
“Of course, dear, of course. The Consort Queen Celine will have an audience with her within two days, prepare her well… Celine is very demanding when it comes to my grandson. “She warned her and that just made Jocelyn even more worried about her daughter.
“Until then, majesty. Thank you for everything” she said goodbye and just when she hung the phone Luke came in.
“Who was it? “ He asked coming through the door.
“It's time” she announced.
“What? But she's still 17! “He almost shouted, she looked at him very worried and hugged him.
“I know, but the prince is turning 18 in two days, the Queen Mother says there's no more time, and Prince Alexander is no use in this case. “ She told him.
“Then… it will be what it has to be…” He said as he tried to calm Jocelyn down.
Jace was sitting in his every day table with Jordan, Sebastian and Aline, his actual girlfriend. She wasn't a noble girl but she had a high status in the society, her father Patrick Penhallow owned over 14 factories in Idris, she was studying to be a professional ballerina as her mother Jia had been. Jace told his friends to leave him alone with her for a bit.
“What if we… get married? “ He said to her not paying much attention, Aline almost chokes with her latte.
“What?!” She said almost screaming, she wanted what everyone wanted, of course, a good husband, a nice house, a cute family… but not at 18!
“Let's-get-married, do I have to draw it to you? “He said a little bit angry.
“But… we're on second semester! What about the school? What will I tell my parents? “She was about to go crazy, what kind of proposal was that?
“You won't have to worry about that, you'll be the crown princess! “ He assured her.
“Why… Why now? “She asked scared, she wasn't even sure if she loved him or not, they had been "dating” for like 3 months, but it seem more like a game than a relationship.
“Look, my parents told me that my grandfather had made a promise with a friend of his: that the oldest heir would have to marry his granddaughter to get the throne, and as Alec can't be the king because of his family… I will have to take the curse, so I said to myself… If I have to marry someone to become the king… why don't I marry a friend of mine? And problem resolved! “He said as his words didn't hurt her, not because she loved her but because he saw her like a simple solution to his problems.
“I'm not your toy, Jace. “ She said.
“I didn't say I wanted to play with you… I said that I wanted you to be my wife…” He repeated, she just hated him when he acted like that.
“I know what you said! But you can't just do with me whatever you want to! Besides, I got selected for an audition for the International Dancing Contest in Beijing, you know how much people want that spot? I don't have time to think about marriage right now and I'm not going to marry you just because you don't want to marry someone else…” she said and left the table.
“Ok, just remember you said “No" to the future king of Idris! “ He shouted and everyone in the cafeteria started to whisper things, Jordan and Sebastian approached him.
“You just proposed to my cousin? “ Sebastian asked.
“What the heck, man?!” said Jordan.
“I already told you! I don't want to marry some Mrs. Nobody to get the throne! “ He said irritated.
“But, she said no…to you…” Jordan said, Jace was about to hit him but him decided it was no use to create and scandal, besides there were something like "friends".
“Well, just prepare to meet Mrs. Nobody, because Aline surely won't come back, and don't even ask her to go to the wedding” Sebastian laughed and Jordan followed him, Jace's life was about to get ruined.
“I hate you guys” he said and just left, nobody would dare to stop him. Jace's life had been really difficult since he was a little child, though he lived in a beautiful and big palace, he spent most of the time on his own, learning how to be the perfect, respectful and lovable crown prince instead of doing what every normal boy would do, his parents were always busy and he could hardly see his cousins because of the family differences and everything. But when he was with Izzy and Alec, he was really happy, they did everything together but they had to do it hiding from their parents, they didn't like the kids hanging around. But the Lightwoods knew it wasn't his fault so they always forgave their aunt and uncle for pushing Jace away from them, until the day of their graduation. Isabelle and Alec decided they had no real future in the palace, so the princes decided to study abroad, Izzy in every single country she could go and Alec was finishing his third semester in London. Jace missed them and he felt lonelier than he had ever felt, he couldn't talk to his parents to ask for help because "That wasn't what a good prince would do", and now he had to marry someone he didn't even know! Sometimes he just wanted to stop being who he was for a moment and live a real life instead of a royal life. And the marriage thing, he just wanted to meet somebody he could actually love.
Clary entered the house very quickly and Simon could hardly follow her. Her parents were sitting in the living room with a worried expression of their faces that Clary luckily didn't see, but he did. Jocelyn looked at her daughter and smiled.
“I guess that face of yours mean you got in” she said, Clary nodded.
“Congratulations, honey! “ Jocelyn said and hugged her daughter. Clary just couldn't stay still, she was far too happy.
“Good Job, little girl” Luke said and ruffled her small head covered with red curls.
“Thank you for thinking about me so much…” said Simon in his best sarcastic tone.
“Sorry. Congratulations, Simon! “ Said Jocelyn, she still looked a little sad.
“Granville would be so proud of you…” Luke said to Clary. She had loved her grandfather more than anything in the world, he had been there when she was born, he had held her and sing lullabies until she fell asleep, he had seen her take her first steps along with Simon, he had taught her how to draw instead of Jocelyn and since then she took her sketchbook wherever she went to, and she had been there for him when her grandma Adele died. She looked at her grandpa's picture that was on the coffee table, she lifted it.
“You really think so? “ Clary said with tears in her eyes, she missed her grandpa so much she could hardly admit it.
“Of course, dear. This was the dream of both of you, wasn't it? “ Jocelyn said rubbing her daughter's arm.
“Yeah, I just wish he could be here to see it” she said leaving the picture where it was. Granville Fairchild had died 3 years ago, a couple of days after Jocelyn and Luke got married, Clary used to say that when his grandpa left, he had taken a part of her heart with him, and no one could every fill that space inside her again.
“And he would have wanted that too…” Luke assured her.
“Um, I don't want to ruin the moment, honey, but… speaking about your grandfather… “She was about to say but Luke stopped her, it just wasn't the moment.
“What about him? “ Clary asked.
“He also would have wanted us to celebrate this! Let's go to eat what your mom made and then we can go somewhere else” Jocelyn thanked him in a whisper and they went to the dining table.
“So, where are we going now? “ Clary said when they all finished eating.
“I have an idea…” Luke said.
“That sounds really” really fun, but I have to go now… My mom is waiting for me; she said that Becky was going to call to congratulate me. “ Simon said grabbing his things from the table.
“Tell her I said hello and that I miss her! “ Clary told to Simon has he went through the door. Becky was Simon's sister; she was also a very close friend to Clary.
“Got it! “ He said and then he was gone.
“So…? “ She asked.
“Why don't we… visit the palace? “ Jocelyn suggested, and that was Luke was thinking too.
“What?! You said we were going to celebrate! Not cause me a certain cancer for anger! I went to that freaking castle in every single excursion we had at school! Can we just go somewhere else? “ Clary protested, but her parents still thought it was a good idea.
“Oh, c'mon dear! Where's your nationalism and optimism? “ Her mother asked her, she scowled.
“They went away right after you said "palace"“ she answered, Luke was helping her mother with the dishes.
“I promise it will be fun” Jocelyn said and gave her daughter a kiss on her cheek.
“Yeah sure “she said looking really angry.
And there she was again, the same tourist area of the palace that she had always gone to. Looking at the same photos and family trees framed in gold, listening one more time to the pitiful story of King Marcus's and how he had a child before marrying the actual Queen Mother, watching the crown jewels no one could have ever even approached to and pretending she loved them, well, all that she could do in that place was: pretend.
“Wouldn't it be nice to live in a wonderful palace like this? “ Her mother asked
“Sure, if you want to live for the rest of your days locked in a horror mansion with despicable people… yeah, who wouldn't want that? “ She said, her mother sighed.
“And what do you think about him…? “ Like said pointing at Prince Jonathan's portrait, Clary pulled out her "Seriously?" face.
“Right, I've heard that every girl in Idris would be glad to be his… you know… girlfriend… “ Her mother said.
“I would prefer to be eaten by a giant rabbit. “ She said and got turned away from her parents.
“It's a lost case, I tell you” Jocelyn said to her husband.
“Still, we need to tell her… tonight. “Luke answered. It was now or never.
When they got home, Clary was really annoyed and tired but they decided to have a little talk with her.
She was about to go to her room when Luke told her to sit down for a bit.
“There's… something we need to talk about” her mother said nervously.
“What? “ Clary said worried.
“We need you to be understanding and reasonable, ok? “ Luke said trying to calm her.
“Okay…” she answered.
“Do you know what this is? “ Her mother said giving her a small box, she opened it. It was a ring with an "H" engraved in it.
“A ring? “ She said.
“But not just any ring, it's a family ring…” Luke said holding Jocelyn's hand.
“Which family? “ She said she didn't know anyone with a last name that began with an "H"; she was starting to get confused.
“Um, do you remember that your grandpa used to talk a lot and hang out with that person he called "his longtime friend"? “ Her mother asked, Clary did remember.
“Yes, but I don't understand what does my grandpa have to deal with this… and what do I have to deal with this? “ She asked. Nothing seemed very clear at that moment.
“You see, my father was very close to "his longtime friend" and as they were like brothers… they made a promise… that both of their grandchildren would get married when they turned 18…” Jocelyn began to explain.
“So…? “ Clary asked; she was lost in that conversation.
“Well, your grandpa's friend was… late King Marcus, and you know who his grandson is…” Luke started.
“And you are my father's only granddaughter. “ Jocelyn finished.
“Wait, so you're saying that…” Clary was starting to process what they had said, but it just sounded crazy.
“Darling…”Jocelyn was trying to calm her daughter even before she could answer something.
“No! No way! I'm not… this cannot be true! “ Clary shouted. She was about to lose her mind, just when everything seemed to be perfect…
“Clary, just listen to us…” Luke said but she wouldn't let him finish.
“No! I'm not going to do it! You hear me?! I would rather die than doing it! “ Clary threw the ring away.
“But, honey…” Jocelyn began, that was the worst thing you could say to an angry teenager.
“No, mother! I said no! This stupid arrangement has nothing to deal with me! I… didn't even know! How can you try to make me marry someone like that? “ Clary cried; she was desperate.
“It wasn't our choice. “Luke said.
“It isn't even my choice! And I'm the one who has been engaged to a motherfucking stranger! “ She screamed.
“Clarissa! “ Her mother shouted.
“No! No! I don't want to… I won't do it…” Clary sobbed inconsolably, her life was being taken away… by the monarchy.
“Try to think it through, darling… I know this isn't easy” her mother said and hugged her while she cried her eyes out.
“It's not fair! How could I throw my life away like that? “ Just when she got everything that she wanted she would have to leave it.
“I know, precious, but understand that… If the wedding doesn't take place, the prince will never get to the throne… and remember that this was what your grandpa decided. And a promise is something you have to fulfill “Jocelyn said.
“Exactly! This is what he decided! Not me! This is my life! Why would he do this to me? “ She screamed.
“Forget it, I won't make her do it” Luke said stealing Clary from her mother's arms.
“But the Dowager Queen is counting on us” Jocelyn remembered him.
“I don't care, she's my child… and she's right and this is her life! She won't marry anyone if she doesn't want to” he finally said.
A couple of hours later when Clary finally calmed down she went to bed, or at least that's what her parents thought. She was listening to them from the stairs.
“I just want the best for her… and I'm sure that that is what my dad wanted too” Jocelyn said.
“I know, Jocie… but how can we force her to do something like that? A marriage is something really big, you know that! You married twice! “Luke said; they never talked about her biological father very much, Valentine wasn't an exemplary father.
“Yes, I know… can you stop mentioning that, please? It's Clary who we're talking about now! “She answered; she didn't like to talk about her ex-husband either.
“We'll have to talk to Imogen and tell her that she's not going to do it” Luke said.
“What will happen to the prince, then? “ Jocelyn asked.
“I hardly care about that, I bet they'll find someone to marry that annoying little prince in less than two days! “ He answered.
“You're right… I just can't stop thinking that I'm letting my father down. “She said sounding really sad.
“This is not anyone's fault… but Granville had no right to arrange Clary's future like it was a game or something. “ Luke said.
“He just wanted her to be happy” Jocelyn said.
“I understand, but maybe… this is not the best way to do it…” her husband answered”
“I cannot think of a better way… I thought she would be a little excited but it's clear I was wrong. But I can't give her a life like that, the kings can…”
“She doesn't need the kings! She needs you, and that's all”.
“I hope you're right. “ She sighed.
Clary felt miserable at the moment, she didn't want to marry someone she knew she hated and would hate even more if she had to share her life with him, but on the other hand she didn't want to make her mother upset, and she also wanted to fulfill her beloved grandpa's promise.
If she said yes, her life would surely go on a different direction that she didn't want.
But if she said no, she would always feel guilty about not making her family proud and being a coward.
Marriage wasn't just a game, but what about love?
To be continued…
Dreamer.Hello readers, as you read above my artistic name is "Dreamer" (don't ask, haha)Ok so this Fanfic is kind of a fussion between TMI and a korean manga I once read, I loved the idea and as my favorite saga is TMI, well this is what turned out! I've been writting it for over a year now and this is the first part, so... I hope you enjoyed it and levae your comments! Bye!