Talk Dirty to Me


"Clar — " Isabelle started to yell but stopped when her phone began to play The Stars Wars theme song.

Isabelle giggled like a silly school girl. "Clary, get your cute little ass out here on the double!"

Clary was in Isabelle's bathroom changing into a pair of sweatpants and an oversized t-shirt. "Give me a sec," Clary called as she pulled her messy curls in a bun on top of her head.

Stepping out of the bathroom Clary found Isabelle jumping around the room with a goofy grin on her face. "Are you okay Iz?"

Isabelle ran to Clary and grabbed both of her hands with her own. "He sent me a text!" Her eyes sparkled with excitement as she continued, "I thought he was tired of me but he was just busy. Isn't that great!"

Clary nodded slowly. "Yeah, Iz...That's great. Who are we talking about again?"

"Lord of the flies." Isabelle dropped Clary's hands and ran to the kitchen.

"Lord of the flies," Clary repeated quietly to herself. She had heard that before, but where?

Isabelle was too busy with whatever she was doing in the kitchen to pay attention to Clary.

Clary continued to repeat 'Lord of the flies,' over and over again in her head as she went to sit on the end of Isabelle's messy bed.

"Here." Isabelle handed Clary a crystal shot-glass filled with a brown concoction.

Clary took the glass from Isabelle reluctantly, her brows furrowing. "What's this?"

Isabelle gave Clary a devilish smile."Tweaked Buttery Nipple." She nodded encouragingly, insisting that the other girl "take a sip."

Clary's green eyes took in the milky brown drink. "Is it safe?"

"Good God, Clary. Stop being such a stiff." Isabelle rolled her eyes, huffing. "Drink the damn thing already, we have work to do."

Clary took a deep breath before pressing the glass to her mouth, hear goes nothing.

Isabelle watched in amusement as Clary finally took a sip of the alcohol. "Good right?"

Clary's mouth tingled with a warm sensation as she took another taste. The warmth of the drink began to spread throughout her as she continued to savor the sweetness of the alcohol.

"I'm glad you like it," Isabelle laughed. Crossing her legs underneath herself as she sat down on the floor in front of Clary, the tall, brunette began to text someone on her phone.

"Who's that? Jace — ?" Clary internally cursed herself for daring to say his name when Isabelle's head shot up from the screen of her phone.

"Jace?" Isabelle questioned, raising one of her perfectly plucked eyebrows.

Instead of answering Isabelle's question, Clary finished off her Tweaked Buttery Nipple, and held the empty glass out to Isabelle. "Do you have anymore?" Clary hoped that she could get Isabelle sidetracked.

"Here," Isabelle said, taking Clary's empty glass and handing her the one she currently had in her other hand, "finish mine off."

Clary took the drink from Isabelle's hand eagerly; she had realized that she liked the sticky sweetness of this drink very much.

"Clare?" Isabelle had started texting again.

"Yep?" Clary felt good, really good, and her easy response could attest to her newly relaxed state of mind.

Isabelle placed her phone down on the bright turquoise rug she was sitting on. "What would you say to taking a call with me?"

Clary's bright green eyes were searching the inside of her empty glass; she had hoped that somehow it would magically refill itself. "What was that, Iz?"

"I see you liked your drink — well, drinks," Isabelle expressed.

Clary snickered, "I loved em." She held her empty glass up in the air, her words light and happy as she asked, "You got anymore?"

Isabelle pulled herself up to where she was sitting on her knees and reached out for Clary's glass. "In a minute. First, we have some business to discuss."

Clary frowned. "I don't wanna."

"Stop being silly, Clary. This is important." Isabelle stood from the ground and walked to the kitchen with the empty shot glasses. "I have to take a call tonight and I was thinking it'd be a good for you to join me."

Clary attempted to raise one of her eyebrows. Damn, how do Jace and Isabelle make it look so easy?

"Dammit Clary, pay attention." Isabelle stood in front of Clary with her hands on her hips.

"Oh, yeah, sorry." Clary held her hands up in the air and dropped them back onto her grey sweatpants loudly. "I'm paying attention. I promise."

Isabelle scrunched her eyes together as she stared down at her redheaded friend. "You better be. This is important."

Clary nodded in agreement even though she really had no clue what Isabelle was talking about. "You're right. This. Is. Ser-ious."

"Fine. Whatever," Isabelle growled, muttering something else too quiet for Clary to hear — though her imagination didn't leave much left to wonder about — in frustration as she flopped down on the bed beside her. "Now, Clary," Isabelle said, her brown eyes staring straight into Clary's green ones, "this call will be easy, okay? Lord of the flies is...understanding. I told him you were new. He doesn't mind you joining us on the call."

Clary blinked. Her thoughts were beginning to blend together. Did Isabelle just say she wanted her to take a call with her?

"It'll be fine." Isabelle's voice sounded reassuring enough. "The guy is just so swee — He's nice."

If Clary didn't know better she'd think Isabelle had a crush on 'this guy,' Lord of whatever the heck he was. "What do I do?" Clary allowed herself to lean back against the bed. "Is it hot in here to you?"

Isabelle shook her head, "Nope. I'm fine." She stood from the bed and skipped to her closet. "You're going to love this Clary, I promise."

"Yeah," Clary agreed as she squirmed on the bed to get comfortable.

Isabelle came out of her closet carrying a small box in her hands. She dropped the box down on the bed beside Clary. "This, well — what's inside are some of the props I use with Lord of the flies."

"Props?" Clary asked. She shifted her body so she could see what Isabelle had in the box. "Seriously? You use this stuff?"

"Yes. As a matter of fact, I do."

Clary could have sworn Isabelle sounded a bit hostile towards her; maybe it was just the alcohol. "I just thought...You know what, nevermind."

"What?" Isabelle asked, her voice no longer threatening.

Clary shrugged, she was a little embarrassed to admit what she had been thinking.

"Come on. Tell me," Isabelle pushed.

Clary averted her eyes to Isabelle's colorful comforter. "I don't know. I just thought it'd be different." Clary could feel the other girl's eyes on her, "I thought you'd have sex toys! There. Okay? Are you happy now?" Clary's eyes were suddenly mesmerized with the bright orange flowers that overlapped the turquoise background on Isabelle's covers. So much so that she almost let herself forget that she had just had a severely humiliating outburst not even two seconds ago.

"Oh." Isabelle was biting her bottom lip to contain her laughter that was threatening to escape.

"It's not funny." Clary was beginning to get irritated with the brunette beauty.

Isabelle crawled onto the bed. "Is too." She leaned against Clary laughing.

"Not." Clary tried to sound angry but she couldn't.

"Was too. And you know it." Isabelle nudged Clary's shoulder with her own, "So. Let's see what we got here." Isabelle pulled the box up on her lap and began to sift through the items. "Lord of the flies is a different kind of client. He doesn't like the traditional type of role playing."

"Traditional?" Clary leaned into Isabelle as she spoke.

"Yeah. You know, 'Do you want to spank me?' kind of thing." Isabelle spoke as if the words coming out of her mouth weren't odd at all.

"Then what do you say?" Clary was becoming more than a little confused. Isabelle's face grew red as Clary watched her.Was Isabelle Lightwood blushing?

"Um. Well...We do talk about sex most of the time. But sometimes... he just wants to talk. Like talk-talk."

Clary's green eyes widened as she studied her new friend. "Oh. My. God. You like him!"

Isabelle's body stiffened as the words left Clary's mouth. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"You like him, don't you!" Clary knew somewhere deep down that Isabelle was not the type of girl you pushed for answers but right now, for some strange reason, she could care less.

"I think the alcohol is affecting your brain." Isabelle's body relaxed as she continued to look through the box. "Let's get on with this. Okay, this guy likes sci-fi. So, he's into Star Wars, comics and stuff like that." Isabelle pulled out a few comic books and handed them over to Clary, "I keep these around in case I need a good one-liner."

Clary gazed down at the comic books in her hand, reading some the titles out loud as she did. "Spiderman. Superman, The Hulk — What in the world?"

"Hey. You can get some really good stuff out of those," Isabelle protested. "Here. Take these too." Isabelle passed Clary a mini light saber, a storm trooper's toy blaster gun and a Star Trek toy communicator with sound effects.

Clary felt a smile forming on her face as her eyes scanned over the items Isabelle had handed to her. "Isabelle Lightwoo — "

Isabelle covered Clary's mouth with her hand to shut the tiny girl up. "Don't judge," Isabelle said as she tried her best to hide the smile that had already appeared on her face.

Clary held her hands up in surrender. Isabelle eyed her wearily. "You promise you're going to be good?"

Clary nodded back as Isabelle removed her hand from Clary's mouth. "Good, cause it's almost time," Isabelle sung out as she hopped up from the bed and ran towards the kitchen.

Clary suddenly felt sick. What if she screwed up? What if this guy, Lord of the flies, didn't like her? What if she made a total fool of herself? "Izzy, I don't know if this is a good idea. I mean, I haven't even learned how to 'talk dirty' to a guy yet."

Isabelle walked towards Clary, holding the two glasses from earlier in her hands. "Here," she said, handing Clary another Tweaked Buttery Nipple. "Truth is, there's no real way to talk dirty to a guy. You let him take the lead, and you follow." Isabelle twirled her long brown hair between her fingers. "Just let go. Enjoy the moment."

Clary's hands were shaking as she gulped down her drink. "Y-es, it's time."

Isabelle squealed before downing the rest of her alcohol.

Clary felt warm and fuzzy all over as her green eyes watched the two Isabelle's pacing in front of her. "You two look just so alike."

Isabelle stopped walking, "What are you even talking ab — ?"

Isabelle was cut off by her phone ringing.

"Shit, it's him." She jumped onto the bed, causing Clary to feel sea sick. "Now remember my name is Marilyn and your name is Ruby, got it?"

Clary took a deep breath and instantly regretted it. "Ye-ah, I got it."

"Show time," Isabelle proclaimed before answering her phone. "Hello, you've reached Marilyn, how will you be paying for my services today?"

The air in the room felt heavy and thick as Clary tried to concentrate on Isabelle.

"So, you already sent a payment through paypal? Kay, give me a minute to confirm." Isabelle began moving her fingers back and forth on her phone swiftly. "I have verified your payment and thank you for the very generous tip."

Clary fell back on Isabelle's bed and closed her eyes; she just needed to rest for a minute. Maybe longer.

"Ruby?" she heard Isabelle say. Clary's eyes flew open when she felt a sharp jab in her side, and they landed on Isabelle's toenails as they continued to dig into her ribcage.

"What the hell, Izzy?" Clary shot up to glare at her friend, but the quick movement made her head swim.

"Shut it," Isabelle hissed as she pointed at her phone.

"Oh." Clary sucked in her bottom lip and began chewing on it.

Isabelle continued to give Clary an evil glare but her voice was the total opposite: "You're going to just love Ruby. I just know it."

Clary covered her face with both of her hands as Isabelle continued with her bullshit to the poor, lonely guy on the other end of the phone line.

"I'm going to put you on speaker now, is that okay?" Clary slowly lowered her hands from her face as Isabelle's smile widened. "Here we go." Isabelle placed her phone down on the bed between the two of them. "Lord of the flies, I'd like to introduce you to my new friend Ruby."

"Hey Ruby, it's a pleasure to meet you."

Clary swallowed. His voice sounded familiar.

"You too." Clary's throat was dry and scratchy, causing her voice to sound like a whisper.

Isabelle chuckled nervously as she shot Clary a pointed glare. "Sorry about that, Ruby's a little nervous about the whole dirty talking-thing."

Clary gasped; did Isabelle really just throw her under the bus to a customer?

"Oh." Clary felt her stomach begin to turn as the man started to speak again. "Hey, that's not a problem, Ruby. We don't have to talk like that tonight." Clary glanced over at Isabelle who seemed almost disappointed. "You can ask Marilyn I was a mess the first month I called in, isn't that right Marilyn?"

Clary's stomach was still twisting and turning but she couldn't bring herself to move from where she was sitting, too intrigued by Isabelle's reaction to this customer.

Isabelle's face lit with affection toward a guy she had never even met. A guy she had never seen. "No, you weren't. You were cute."

Laughter filled the room from the other phone line. "Marilyn's being too forgiving. I promise you, Ruby; she had to teach me everything, step by step. I would get off the phone knowing how much she must've hated me."

"That's not true." Isabelle reached out and gripped her phone tightly. "I never hated you."

Clary let out a shaky breath, she wasn't sure if she was feeling lightheaded from the alcohol or from the uncomfortable situation she was currently in. "I think I'll just go."

"No, wait." His voice was pleading. "Just... Let's talk about something different. Any takers?"

Isabelle released the grip she had on the phone, "You could always talk about yourself, master."

Clary bit the inside of her cheek in order not to laugh at Isabelle calling someone master.

"You guys don't want to hear about that, do you?"

Clary saw that Isabelle seemed to genuinely want to hear about this guy so she made sure to agree. "Please, yes."

"Well, alrighty then. How about I start off by telling Ruby about my band?"

"Holy shit!" Clary cried out as she jumped up from the bed and ran towards the bathroom with her hand covering her mouth. She was about to lose everything in her stomach, but that wasn't what had caused her outburst. Clary clung to Isabelle's white porcelain toilet as she threw up, all while Isabelle's voice could be heard stirring in the background. The customer's voice could even be heard once or twice as Clary finished emptying her stomach's contents. Flushing the toilet, Clary leaned her head back against the bathroom wall. She knew Isabelle would be furious with her but she wouldn't be the only one.

Simon would be too. Her best friend since childhood, her first kiss and now... her first customer.

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