invisible scars

Chapter 11you're not crazy

Chapter 11

You're not crazy

"Torres, hold it right there. Where do you think you're going? Your patients are here not on psych ward."

Callie stopped dead in her tracks as the strict voice of Dr Bailey rang out. Fuck! Okay, there is no need to lie. I'm not gonna dig myself a hole. Plastering a fake smile on her face she turned around to face the robust woman. "Bailey, good morning. How are you? I haven't seen you around in a while."

Miranda was holding her usual posture, arms crossed and pursed lips waiting for an answer. "I'm not stupid, Torres. Since when does my wellbeing interest you?"

Callie raised her eyebrows, eyes flickering around the corridor, focusing on nothing in particular. "What do you mean? You're my friend and co worker. I care... About you." Sighing she shoved her hands into the pockets of her white doctors coat. "I was just heading up to psych to get a consult for Arizona. She had a panic attack yesterday so I thought maybe counseling would help. Maybe give her some coping techniques and how to deal with her emotions and... stuff."

Bailey just nodded. "Fine, just hurry up. There's a patient I want you to see. Teenager with severe osteoporosis." When Callie didn't move Miranda raised her voice. "Well, what are you waiting for. Bones don't fix themselves, you know. She's on second floor room 223. I'll be expecting you in fifteen minutes, Torres."

As soon as Bailey turned, Callie spun around and sped down the corridor that would eventually lead her to psych, thinking she would need a consult herself if she was even a second late. On her way back she literally ran into Mark. "Torres, where's the fire? In your pants?" He wiggled his neatly plucked eyebrows.

Callie basically pushed him aside and continued on her mission. "Not now, Sloan. I've got the Nazi up my ass."

Before she disappeared around the corner she heard Mark shouting, "Isn't she lucky."

One hour later Callie was heading to the locker room to get the things she planned on giving to Arizona. Opening the door she was greeted with the sight of a half naked Christina Yang and Dr Hunt. "Are you helping each other change out of your clothes cause that's what this room really is for."

Owen had the 'deer caught in the headlights' look but Yang didn't seem to mind. "Its only Callie, she won't give a crap. She won't be long, will you Torres?" Christina managed to say between sloppy passionate kisses.

Trying not to look at Owen's uncomfortable state, she quickly grabbed the stuff she needed. "Definitely not." And with that she left the room, desperately forcing the image she just witnessed out from her brain.

Arizona was reading an old magazine, Callie had previously brought in, looking rather engrossed. She didn't even hear the brunette enter the room until she was standing just next to the bed. Arizona jumped slightly in surprise. "Calliope. You scared me. I didn't hear you come in."

Callie looked quite surprised herself. "Calliope?"

The blonde put the magazine down. "Well, that's your name isn't it?"

Sitting herself down on the chair, Callie frowned slightly. "Um, yeah. I prefer Callie but strangely Calliope doesn't sound so bad when you say it." She gave the blonde a wink.

Arizona blushed. "It suits you. I like it a lot."

There was a comfortable silence and for a second they didn't seem to have the power to tare the eyes of each other. Smile meeting smile. It was almost magical the way everything around them disappeared, even all the noise vanished only for a few seconds but for both of them it felt almost like a lifetime. Callie was the one to break the silence. "Oh, I almost forgot, here..." she handed Arizona the bag. "...I brought you some things to keep you occupied for a while. It must get quite boring and not to mention frustrating to watch the same stuff on tv all the time. How is Dr Phil doing?" Callie nodded her head towards the tv.

"He's doing great. Right now he's helping this family who has a daughter that's 14 and on heavy drugs. He is in his element." Arizona peeked into the bag. "Callie, you shouldn't have gone through so much trouble just for me." Her eyes scanned the magazine's, DVDs and surprisingly some chocolate.

"You can never go wrong with chocolate, especially when it comes to women." Callie winked again. I have to stop doing that before it becomes a habit. Or I could just pretend that I have involuntarily twitches that are out of my control.

Arizona picked up a bar of chocolate and studied it. "I haven't had chocolate since... Since I was... Since that day I was..."

Callie put a hand on her arm. "Well, you can have as much as you want, just have a few bites of it first to see how your stomach will handle it, okay." She opened the wrapper and waved the chocolate in front of her nose. "Mmm, eat me, Arizona. Eat me." The Latina was glad to see a smile on the pale face and she watched as the blonde took her first bite. With her eyes closed Arizona chewed and swallowed. When she opened them again Callie was surprised to see tears forming.

She quickly took another bite before putting the bar back down. "Oh my God! I can't believe how good it tastes." she said between her chewing. "I'm even crying. I've never heard of a woman crying after chocolate. Have you?"

Callie watched as Arizona wiped her eyes and smiled. "No, I don't think I have until now. There is a first for everything, they say. If chocolate can make you feel so good then I'll have to make you my special chocolate and pecan pie... With maple syrup."

Blue eyes widened. "I'm not sure that would be safe considering my reaction to one bite of chocolate. Can you imagine a whole pie? You probably have to bring your life jacket in case I create a tsunami."

Callie's laughter rang out, laughing at Arizona's joke. "I like your sense of humour. It's almost as good as mine." Again, she couldn't help but wink. Really.

Now it was Arizona's turn to laugh. Something she hadn't done in a long time. It felt strange to use those muscles in her face to create a smile. Almost surreal and frightening but at the same time it felt good and liberating. Tilting her head to the side, Callie smiled. "You have a beautiful laugh, Arizona. I hope I will hear more of it. And I barely knew you had dimples. Cute."

The petite woman blushed and turned her head back towards the tv screen as Dr Phil was trying his hardest to understand why the girls father would give her money to buy drugs. "I use to watch this show a lot." She had a distant look on her face as if she had gone back in time and left the present. Callie didn't say anything, she just waited for Arizona to continue. "The tv was always on in the room I was kept in. Dr Phil became some sort of comfort zone to me and sometimes I would just sit on the cold hard floor so close to the tv screen it almost felt like I was in the audience watching it from there. Pretending I was there... free." She fiddled with her hands. "It's stupid, thinking about it now."

"Hey," Callie immediately placed a gentle hand on her good knee. "It's not stupid, okay. You found a way to cope and survive. We all have our own ways of doing that. Don't think for a second that it's stupid. Do you hear me? Not for one second." Callie waited until Arizona finally nodded. She didn't know if she had gotten through to her and make her understand but it was as good it was gonna get at this point.

Callie removed her hand and instantly missed the warmth from the blonde's leg. She wished she could put it back but that would be inappropriate and awkward. "I've got something to say but before I say it I want you to know that you have my best interest at heart. I'm your doctor and I just want to see you well." A brief pause passed. "I want you to get a psych consult and get evaluated." She put her hands up before Arizona had a chance to interrupt. "Before you say anything I want you to know that you are not crazy, you do not need to be institutionalized and you do not need to be heavily medicated. Its standard procedure to patients who has gone through traumatic events. It could be a near death experience, a serious car crash or a complicated delivery. There are so many scenarios that fits into the category; traumatic. Someone will be here later this afternoon just for a chat. You don't have to talk about anything you don't want to, or aren't ready for but just remember that they are here to help you to deal and cope with your thoughts and feelings. They will ask you questions about all that's happened and you just have to give simple answers. When you feel ready and comfortable enough to go into more details then that's great but its gonna take some time to get to that stage, and I want you to give yourself that time, okay?"

Th blonde kept fiddling with her hands and fingers. Trying to keep her focus on something other than Callie's face and concerned eyes. The brunette cocked her head to the side to meet Arizona's gaze. The smaller woman sighed and gave a slight nod. She knew that Callie was only trying to help but the nervous feeling in her gut made it hard not to appear anxious and stressed. Finally, she locked with brown eyes. "Will you be here?" Her voice was almost childlike.

"If you want to I'll be right here with you, or we can do what we did before, I wait just outside the room and you just let me know when you need me, okay?"

The blonde just nodded.

The evaluation had gone well. Callie had waited patiently outside the room while Arizona answered questions Dr Janice Ashmore were firing at her. The whole procedure took about thirty minutes before the doctor left the room to give Callie an update.

"Dr Torres." The psychiatrist confidently walked with an outstretched hand and shook the brunettes. "Nice to see you again. I'm glad that you came to me in person. Usually the attendants would send their interns to request a consult. It shows that you are involved in caring for your patients." She gave Callie a wink and a suggestive smile.

"Um, I... Well, I... Just wanted to help to find her the best so... Here we are." She giggled nervously. What am I, fifteen? Is she flirting with me or am I just sexually frustrated and seeing things? She hooked her head to get her thoughts out of the gutter.

"Well, Dr Torres, I'm pleased nonetheless." Callie was surprised to find a hand resting on her arm for a couple of seconds before she withdrew it. "Your patient is suffering from 'post traumatic stress disorder' and 'general anxiety disorder' which is completely normal for what she has gone through. She didn't go into detail of course but from the little I learned I'm surprised she hasn't completely blocked everything out from her memory or isolated herself completely from people. She told me, she is a bit weary of men and that her nightmares are very vivid, almost real to her, so I would suggest no male nurses or doctors for the time being. You, of course, have my full discretion on this and I will do everything I can to keep it that way." She shifted onto her other leg. "I'll come back again in a couple of days to see how she's doing. I don't want to put her on any medication yet. Try to keep an eye on her sleeping patterns. If she finds it hard to sleep at night I can administer a slow release sedative but due to her nightmares I'm a bit reluctant. It could be harder for her to wake up from them and therefore they become even more real an she can cause damage to herself and others. Make sure she eats a balanced diet and drink a lot of fluids, preferably water. If she is failing in any of these areas, I want to be informed immediately. Her diet will play a very important role in her physical and mental recovery and wellbeing. It can do wonders."

Callie was taking everything in. She knew most of what Dr Ashmore had already told her but she, herself, was not qualified to give Arizona a diagnosis even though she had been right. Nodding she took the doctor's hand in hers. "Thank you for seeing her. I'll keep an eye out and I'll also tell my intern who is involved in this case. Her name is April Kepner if you ever find the need to get in contact with me and I'm not available, there is always one of us close by. We are taking this case very seriously and we all want a good outcome."

Janice smiled and, once again touched her arm. "We all do. I'll be in touch." She strode down the corridor, swaying her hips more than usual. Callie tore her eyes of the well shaped backside and ran a hand through her dark curls. "Oh boy. I need to get laid."

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