invisible scars

Chapter 15 settling

Chapter 15

Settling

Callie had taken a few days off from work to make sure Arizona was settling in okay. She had spent the first night in her new place and had slept surprisingly well. The bed was memory foam, the duvet was fluffy and warm, the room was nicely decorated. She had her own wardrobe, her own chest of drawers amongst other things. The bathroom was big. Bigger than she thought a bathroom should be but liked it a lot nonetheless. She still hadn't been outside the apartment yet and Callie hadn't pushed. The day she had arrived was spent on the couch watching movies and eating healthy snacks since Arizona was on a strict diet to gain weight slowly.

Dr Yang still hadn't been home and Arizona was quite relieved for that. Callie had told her that Christina was a bit odd and had a dark side, but in a good weird way, and together with Dr Meredith Grey they were called the twisted sisters.

Arizona was wearing some of Callie's clothes. A pair of sweats and a blue long sleeved top. Sweats was more comfortable for the blonde to wear since the bandage on her knee was kind of bulky and jeans would be a bit too tight.

It was now raining heavily outside and a low rumble of thunder spread across the sky. Arizona had always liked the thunder and lightning. She thought it was beautiful how the lightning shot though the dark clouds, splitting into a fork like structure of light.

They had just finished their dinner by the kitchen table when the first roll of thunder broke through their comfortable silence. Callie was cleaning the table but stopped and looked out the window. "Oh, great." She mumbled. Callie was not a fan of thunder and would usually cuddle up with a huge pillow under a blanket every time it happened.

Arizona picked up on her uneasiness. "Don't you like thunder?" The blonde asked.

Callie felt her heart rate pick up and she immediately started to get fidgety. "I'm starting to think that thunder doesn't like me very much and decides to surprise me way too often with its presence." She quickly cleared the table and was now folding the tea towel so many times it couldn't be folded anymore.

The blonde or up and wobbled over to Callie with one crutch. She placed a hand over Callie's and The brunette instantly stopped and looked up at a smiling Arizona. God, she liked that smile. "Nothing I gonna happen Callie. There are plenty of tall buildings around and this building is not very tall so it's highly unlikely that the lightening will strike down on us. And besides, I'll protect you."

The Latina chuckled nervously. "Okay, good to know. Now I feel so much better." Sarcasm seeped through and her attention went back to the tea towel, not sure where to look since looking at the beautiful blonde just made her stomach do somersaults and her face go red.

All of a sudden the lights went out and so did the electricity. The room turned dark, only the lightening outside kept the room alight with its powerful flickering beams. Now it was Arizona's turn to get fidgety. She had never liked the dark and she felt even worse knowing that she had no electricity to turn on a light. Callie groaned and placed the neatly folded towel on the kitchen counter. "Why don't you sit down on the couch and I'll light some candles, okay?"

Arizona felt too uneasy to argue. She nodded and hobbled over to the big soft sofa. The doctor found some tealights and matches in a kitchen drawer. She placed all the candles on the sitting room table and lit them. They were now basking in a light glow. Callie sat down next to the blonde but not too close. She wanted to give Arizona some space.

The younger woman was holding a pillow and was fidgeting with the seam of it, trying not to make her hands shake too much. Another roll of thunder echoed through the room, slightly louder than the previous one, indicating that it was coming closer. The brunette sighed and gazed over at Arizona whose eyes were flickering around the room in search for something or someone. Callie broke the silence. "Are you afraid of the dark, Arizona? " She cocked her head and waited for a reply.

Arizona swallowed. "Well, not afraid, it just makes me... a bit... uncomfortable, I guess." The truth was that she was scared but didn't want Callie to know. The Latina wasn't easily fooled and, since she was afraid of thunder and Arizona of the dark, she had an idea. Grabbing the big thick blanket that was hanging from the armrest of the couch, Callie wrapped herself up in one side, moved a bit closer to the skittish blonde and held out her arm inviting the woman to snuggle into the other side of the blanket.

Callie released a breath she didn't know she was holding, glad when Arizona accepted the offering comfort and warmth. She wrapped her arms around the small woman and kissed her head. "It will pass soon."

Arizona smiled and looked up into brown eyes. "Are you trying to convince me or yourself?"

Callie threw her head back and laughed out loud. The sound made Arizona smile even wider and thought Callie looked absolutely stunning. "Am I that obvious? I've got to work on my poker face."

The blonde unconsciously snuggled in closer to the warm and soft body next to her and closed her eyes as she felt the Latina tighten her hold. She inhaled Callie's scent of vanilla and some kind of spice, Arizona thought, but she couldn't put a name to it. The tanned smooth skin just inches beneath her lips looked almost like an invitation. Then her mind suddenly stopped. Do friends sit this close? Do they snuggle up together and place reassuring kisses on each others cheeks and head? Do they hold each other so close not even air can pass between their bodies? Was there something else going on here? Something deeper and stronger than just friendship?

Callie felt Arizona lift her head from her shoulder and turn towards her. Blue eyes stared intensely into her own. Callie couldn't quite place what she saw in the smaller woman's eyes but she could detect fear, confusion and secrecy. Without thinking clearly both women leaned forward, breaths mingling and hearts beating.

Callie watched as Arizona closed her eyes as she closed the gap between them. Their lips met half way, brushing gently against one another's. Callie didn't want to rush Arizona into anything or put any pressure on her so she simply let the blonde set the pace. It took all of Callie's willpower not to rip the younger woman's clothes off and have her way with her right there and then. She felt Arizona's tongue gently caress her bottom lip asking for permission and Callie granted it.

Opening her mouth slightly their tongues met for the first time and Callie couldn't help but to let out a soft moan. It felt like warm velvet wrapping itself around Callie's lips and she brought her hands up and cupped the blonde's face in her hands, bringing them slightly closer.

Now it was Arizona's turn to moan. Callie was such a great kisser, so soft, gentle and effortless. She had never experienced anything like this before. Eveything about Callie was so magnified and intense and Arizona found it hard to deal with it all. She pulled away slightly, looking into brown lustful eyes.

Callie saw a glimmer of panic across the blonde's face. Not wanting Arizona to feel bad or that they had done something wrong Callie bought their foreheads together, still holding Arizona's face between her smooth hands. "You okay, sweetie?" It was all Callie could think of to say. She wanted to know if there was any regrets.

Arizona was slightly breathless from the kiss but nodded. "You?"

Callie smiled then chuckled. "Do you hear me complaining?" That drew a giggle out of the younger woman. The brunette watched as Arizona's face turn serious with a distant look in her eyes. Callie kissed her forehead and caressed flushed cheeks with her thumbs. "What's wrong?" Callie suddenly got worried that she was having second thoughts.

"Nothing, I'm just... I don't know how to... feel, I've never... felt..." She struggled to get the words out. She didn't even know how and what she was feeling so how could she possibly put it into words. "I'm just... I..." Tears spilt down her cheeks and she angrily tried to brushed them away. She was sick of crying all the time but her emotions were all out of wack and that didn't help.

The tall Latina ducked her head a little so she was in eye level with the pretty blonde, concern written on her face. "Hey, hey, what's the matter, sweetie? Huh? Tell me!"

Arizona took a brief moment to collect herself before answering. "I've never felt like this before. Like I matter, like I'm allowed to feel, think and say whatever I want and not get punished for it." She sniffled as she spoke. "I'm just... I'm not use to having someone who pays attention to me and it's hard to... to accept it and believe it." She made a brief pause and Callie waited patiently for her to continue. "I have nothing to give you Callie. Nothing. I'm... I'm just thinking, why me? You can have anyone you want so why me? I'm damaged goods, Callie. I'm just not worthy of your affections. I'm just... I'm just... Me."

It was heartbreaking that Arizona felt that way. How could she feel like she was not worthy? Did she really think so little of herself? Did she honestly think she didn't matter? Callie brushed blonde tresses away from Arizona's tear stained face. "Oh sweetie. Its okay. Its okay to feel everything you're feeling. It doesn't matter if you can't put you feelings into words right now. Just go with it, don't fight it or its gonna drive you crazy. And you're not damaged goods, Arizona. You've been through a horrible ordeal and I don't expect you to just forget about it and move on. This is going to take some time to process but things will get better, you'll see. And I'm not leaving. I'll be right here through it all and I will help you in anyway I can. You deserve to be happy, sweetheart. You deserve so many good things, I just wish you could see that."

Arizona was trying to take it all in. She had done nothing to deserve Callie concern and affections, yet here she was telling her that things will be okay and that she had her support no matter what.

Callie was just about to say something when the front door flew open. "Its fucking raining, Torres." An agitated Christina burst in like a hurricane herself cursing like there was no tomorrow. Arizona got a freight, huddled up in the corner of the sofa and looked absolutely terrified. Callie rolled her eyes and got closer to the frightened woman. "That's just Christina. She can be very loud and inappropriate." She placed a hand on Arizona's shoulder.

Yang came in to the room. "Who's inappropriate and what have you done with the electricity?" She stopped dead in her tracks as she saw Callie on the couch with the blonde from the hospital. Chocked she let out an awkward laugh. "Of my God! You brought her home? I can't wait to tell Owen, he's gonna shit himself. Haha."

Callie glared at her, the glare that only Calliope Torres possessed and Yang kind of got the hint. "Oh, eh, I'm just gonna crash. Nice meeting you, Blondie. Night." She walked off and slammed the door to her bedroom.

Arizona looked up from her position, tears evident. Callie gave her an apologetic look. "That's Yang for you. She's quite... eh, special but she means well." She gently stroked Arizona's cheek. "You okay?"

The blonde nodded. "Yeah, eh sorry. It was just the noise from the door, it got to me. I'm really sorry."

Why was Arizona apologizing? She had done nothing wrong. "Its okay. You've got nothing to be sorry for, sweetie. Okay?" Again she bobbed her head, not fully trusting her voice. Looking at the time Callie stood up and stretched. "I'm gonna hit the sheets too. You're more than welcome to stay up longer but without electricity there's not much to do."

Slowly standing up, taking care not to bump her knee into anything, Arizona decided to go to bed as well. There was an awkward silence between the two. Not knowing what to say or do. They had just shared a kiss and they were now both contemplating whether to kiss good night or not. Callie took a step closer, bent down a bit since Arizona was shorter and kissed her cheek. "Good night, Arizona. I'm glad you're here. Just wake me up if there's anything you need during the night."

Laying in their separate beds they both thought about the kiss earlier. Soft, gentle and warm.

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