invisible scars

Mixed emotions

Chapter 4

Mixed emotions

"Dr Torres!, Dr Torres!" April Kepner came running down the corridor with a bunch of papers waving in her hand. The constant smile on her face was unusually annoying this morning. Callie had to get through this day and couldn't wait to go home knowing she had tomorrow off. Somehow she managed to put a fake smile on her face.

"Dr Kepner. What can I do for you?"

The breathless red head came to a halt, cheeks flus. "I've got Miss Robbins test results."

Callie's eyebrows shot up under her side fringe. "Oh, thank you." Grabbing the paper sheets she flickered through them. Everything looked normal. Dehydrated, iron level is low and malnutrition. Nothing out of the ordinary considering what she must have gone through. "Thanks, Kepner. Thought it was an emergency judging from the way you were running." Callie mentally rolled her eyes.

"Oh no, I'm just trying to be efficient. Is there anything else you might need Dr Torres?"

Looking up she gave April a quick smile. "No, thank you." She turned to leave but stopped. "Actually there is. A bit less of the smiling. Its too perky. You're gonna kill someone with your perkiness."

The intern, still smiling, nodded and almost skipped down the hallway. "Okay, Dr Torres. Page me if you need me."

"Too perky." The Latina muttered as she headed toward Arizona's room.

She didn't feel good about leaving Arizona alone yesterday, especially after such devastating news. She had informed the nurses about the situation and instructed them to keep a close eye on Jane Doe. Nobody knew her real name except for Torres, Kepner and Yang. If her real name came out it could lead to rumors and rumors are made to be spread and it would somehow, without a doubt, leak to the press. The thought made her shiver. The chief would have my ass.

The room was darkish and quiet. Arizona was facing the window as she had done when Callie had left the previous day. It was almost like the blond hadn't moved at all. Walking towards the bed she tried to me as noisy as she could. She didn't want to scare her.

"Arizona. Its Callie." She paused to see if the woman would acknowledge her presence but was greeted with nothing. "Your test results came back today. Everything looks good. We just need to get a bit more fluids and nutrients into you. We don't want you fading away." Still nothing. Callie leaned over a bit to get a glance at the pale face and was pained to see tear marks on her cheeks. Eyes that once were blue now looked grey and bloodshot. She wakes over to the extremely uncomfortable char, carried it over to the other side of the bed and sat down. Finally getting a close look at the distraught woman she could vaguely make out a sheen of sweat covering her forehead. Callie knew straight away that she was in pain.

Arizona didn't care. The physical pain was welcomed. It kept the emotional pain at bay. It was a deliberate choice, She had made, not to press the pump and that scared Callie a bit. Arizona knew very well where the pump was located and how to us it, she just choose not to. "Arizona, I can see that you are in pain, physical and emotional, but there is no need for you to suffer more than you already are. Please, let me press the button."

The brunette didn't really wait for an answer and reached over the petite frame but a weak voice interrupted her movement. "No."

Callie wasn't even sure she had heard Arizona speak cause it was barely a whisper. "Arizona, please. I know you're in pain. I just want to help you."

Tired eyes finally met hers. "If you want to help me then just leave me be."

Callie reached for the hand closest to her and felt Arizona try to pull away. The Latina was stronger by a long shot and held it firmly. "I can't do that. I took an oath, in med school, that I would do everything in my power to assist the sick and injured if I was physically capable of doing so. I've never broke that oath in all the years I've worked as a doctor and I do not intend to break that promise now. Do you understand?"

Ashen eyes looked into compassionate brown. She took in the brunettes features. Studied her tanned skin and shiny hair. She looked down at their entwined hands, strong hands, and back up to her face. It wasn't until now that Arizona realized how beautiful this woman really was. Her Hispanic looks were simply stunning. She also saw something in Callie's eyes. She couldn't put her finger on what. Maybe sympathy, empathy or sadness? Maybe all three of the above? She didn't want to trust anyone. She couldn't trust anyone. Trust don't get you anywhere and it sure won't bring her family back or undo everything she wanted undone. But there was something in those brown depths that made her hesitate and question herself.

She felt so drained, tired and weak. Too tired to even be scared. She should be scared. What if he found her? What would happen to her then? Would he take her away again? Hurt her, beat her? No, she had to push those thoughts away. This was a hospital. Its suppose to be a safe place, right? There are constantly doctors and nurses wandering up and down the halls. Its a safe place. She had to believe that it's a safe place.

Without thinking, Arizona squeezed Callie's hand. She tried to draw warmth and comfort from the contact and found herself accepting this woman's closeness and soothing presence. Again, she tugged at the doctor's hand, bringing it a bit closer. No words were necessary. The silence and the physical contact spoke for itself.

Callie gently leaned over, careful not to hurt the blonde, she pushed the button that would allow a high enough dose of morphine to enter Arizona's bloodstream and lull her to sleep. For a second Callie saw panic in the woman's eyes. She pulled the covers more tightly around her body and tenderly brushed her fingertips up and down the inside of her wrist of the had she was holding. Already she could tell Arizona was struggling to stay awake, not wanting to sleep in case of bad dreams. Callie gave her a reassuring smile.

"Its okay. You can go to sleep. I'll stay and I'll be right here when you wake up, I promise."

The last thing Arizona remembered was the feeling of a cool compress being placed on her feverish forehead.

The sound of her pager suddenly entered her dream. Thinking it was her alarm clock she reached out to give it a whack. Her hand collided with hard metal and she swore at the dull ache in her knuckles. "Fuck." Her head shot up and her left eye was stuck together from the mascara that she had generously applied this morning. After a few seconds of trying to pry her eye open she finally succeeded. Glancing down at the blonde she was relieved to find her still asleep. She checked her pager quickly. It was a 911 to the pit. Damn. I promised not to leave. Thinking quickly she came up with an idea. She rushed to the nurse's station.

"Could someone page Dr Kepner and have her sit in Arizo... I mean Jane Doe's room and tell her to stay there until I get back. Got it?" The slight overweight nurse nodded, clearly feeling a bit intimidated by the firm voice.

Running all the way to the pit she almost knocked down an elderly woman but managed to gracefully swerve to her right the very last second.

The pit was buzzing, like it always was. People everywhere, screaming, crying and shouting. Nurses running left and right with supplies, syringes and suture kits. It was like a circus that was constantly operating.

"Torres!" Dr Hunt shouted at the top of his lungs so Callie could hear over all the other noises going on around them. To her left down the very far end she could see a group of interns hovering over a stretcher.

"There has been a seven car pile up. Multiple victims on their way in. Mr Bennett here is in the most urgent need of medical care." Owen stepped out if the way so Callie got a full visual of the damage. The man had several deep cuts on his face and chest, a dislocated shoulder, several broken ribs, judging from the bruising, but the injury that stuck out the most was the open tibia fracture on his right leg.

Dried and fresh blood covered almost his whole leg. The bone was sticking out at least three inches, torn muscle tissue and many severed arteries was visible. Mr Bennett could be happy that he was not awake and conscious.

Callie stood still for a second just taking in the glory and beauty of it. This is what she loved doing. Bone breaking, ass kicking ruthless orthopaedic surgeon. That is what made Callie Torres one of the best in the country in her field. Looking at the ivory white bone a smile spread across her whole face. "Awesome."

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