This novel is limited to 100 free copies due to its part in Inkitt’s Novel Contest.
Zim stared at the math paper in front of him. Normally calculating was easy for him but he just had trouble recognizing the human math symbols. He was pretty sure that the dash meant subtraction. Or was it division? By now he was able to read human language, except for the numbers and symbols. He looked around at the other students. As he did so, he started thinking of ways to destroy the Earth- again. He thought maybe he could try to turn all of the humans into gophers! Nah. Or maybe even drain the planet's water supply! Nah. None of it seemed very fun to him since he had been at it for six years in a row without any success. It was all one big cycle. Zim tries to destroy mankind, Dib stops him, and Zim comes up with another plan, blah blah blah. But almost of the humans were complete idiots so it was like the planet was BEGGING to be destroyed. He turned his attention back to the paper as he remembered what the dash was for. He wrote the down the answer and leaned back in the chair. Only 4 more problems to go. He looked at the next one. He had trouble with it because he always mixed up the multiplication and addition symbols. Then the bell rang. Thankfully that was the last class of the day.
Just as Zim stepped out of the Hi Skool, he felt something explode against the back of his head, knocking him down the down the stairs. Instantly he began to burn. As he screamed in agony, Dib stood over him, laughing. Zim hissed at him and stood up. Just then the bus pulled up. Zim had started taking the bus since he was now too large for GIR to carry. He hated the bus. It was full of humans and always smelled like pigs. He stepped inside the bus and sat down at the back seat. As the bus began to drive, Zim pressed a button on his PAK and a screen came out of it. "GIR!" Instantly GIR's face popped up on the screen. "Yeeeeees?"
"By the time I get back I want the Voot Cruiser ready for take off. Understand?" GIR finished drinking out of his juice box.
"What?" Zim facepalmed.
"Get the Voot Cruiser ready so I can ride in it."
"Yes my lord!" The screen went black and went back into his PAK. Soon the bus stopped at his house. Zim ran out and by the time he got inside he slammed the door and collapsed on the couch, exhausted. It had been a long day. He had been beaten up by Torque three times, he had to endure the horrors of the cafeteria food, and to top it all off- the water balloon. He could still feel the back of his head burning. He was going to make Dib pay. Somehow. He got up, stepped into the trash can across the room, and an elevator took him down to his base. Amazingly, there was the Voot Cruiser, ready for takeoff. GIR didn't usually get this far with carrying out orders. Where was GIR anyway? He opened up the Voot Cruiser's hatch, and there was GIR, eating what looked like a cake. Zim climbed inside and shut the hatch. He found himself quite cramped. He tossed GIR out to make more room for himself. Within moments the roof of the house opened, and out came the Voot Cruiser, speeding toward Dib's house.
He landed behind the house and stepped out of the ship. As if on cue, Dib stepped out of the back door and froze when he saw Zim. Zim ejected his PAK legs and aimed them at Dib. "You dare burn the mighty Zim?!"
"You're STILL mad about that?! Come on it was just a water balloon! I've done a lot worse and NOW you complain?" Zim paused. Dib had a point.
"Maybe... NO! Silence! You are going to pay!" He started firing at Dib. Dib dodged and ran into the house, locking the door. Zim kicked open the door and ran after Dib. "Come back here!" As soon as he caught up to Dib, Zim ejected a water balloon from his PAK and threw it at Dib's head. "What the hell, Zim?! Hey- how did you get that water balloon in your pack thing anyhow?" Zim cackled and ran out of the house.
When Zim got back to his base, he figured it was time to get a bigger ship. He couldn't sit inside of the Voot Cruiser without ducking his head. He pushed a button below a screen. He was calling the Tallest so he could ask for a new ship. In just seconds, the image of the two appeared. Red folded his arms. "What is it now?! This is the fifth time you've called us this week!"
"My Tallest, my ship is no longer able to be driven by me because I appear to have outgrown it. I request a larger ship."
"Outgrown it?" Red never noticed before, but Zim had grown quite a bit during his years on Earth. He was worried about just how tall Zim might be.
"Yes. I require a new ship." A thought occurred to Red. Zim looked like he might be a bit taller than he and Purple. If there was anything he feared more than anything else, it was losing his position. He had to do something to prevent Zim from coming and taking their place. Then he got an idea. He cleared his throat. "Zim, do you remember when you showed up at the Great Assigning?"
"Yes my Tallest, I remember."
"And do you remember what we gave him, Purple?"
"Yeah! A sandwich!" Red facepalmed.
"Yes- wait- NO! A mission, stupid! But that mission Zim, was fake." Red said it as if it was something that happened every day. He showed no regret. "But we also gave you a sandwich too", Purple interrupted.
"Fake? Oh this is one of your jokes! I get it!"
"No it's not a joke. We sent you there so you would be out of the way for Operation Impending Doom II. Not just that, but you're also a nuisance to the empire. You nearly destroyed our planet three times, you killed Tallest Spork and Miyuki, and you completely ruined Operation Impending Doom I. And that S.I.R., isn't advanced. Me and Purple pieced it together from the garbage."
"B-but- I'm an invader-"
"No. You're not. You're classified as a food service drone."
"This joke isn't funny anymore."
"Don't you understand?! We LIED to you. We lied so you would be out of our way and so that the Irken Armada wouldn't have any more problems. We lied so our planet would stay intact. We lied so we wouldn't have to hear your annoying voice all the time. Get it through your tiny little brain that we lied and that you're not an invader! You're a defect!"
They cut the transmission. Zim didn't know what to think. He felt his eyes beginning to burn. He felt the side of his face and his hand came off wet. He was tearing up. Then the tears turned to loud sobs. Zim bent over, clutching his head. How could they? Sure Zim was a bit over zealous at times but he never meant to do any of those things. The whole time he was just trying to impress the Tallest. "The Tallest were right to banish me..." After that Zim went into a fit of depression, screaming and destroying everything in sight. Just when he was going to rip out his PAK, he felt a cold hand on his shoulder. "Mastah? Why are you so sad?"
"I'm fine GIR leave me alone."
"No you're sad! Here's a dance to cheer you up! Doo dee doo dee doo dee doo..." Zim actually found himself smiling. The dance was pretty amusing.
"Thanks GIR." GIR squealed with delight and pounced on Zim, knocking Zim to the ground. "GIR! Get off of me!" GIR just laughed and continued to hug Zim. "GIR-"
"Awww you needs a big huuuuug!"
"Zim needs no hugs!"
"Okay!" He got off of him and sat on the couch. Zim shuddered as GIR put on the Scary Monkey Show. He sat down next to GIR. He didn't know what to do. His whole mission was a lie. Everything he had done on Earth was in vain. He sure as hell didn't want to go back to Foodcourtia, and he wasn't an invader either. The only thing he really had to look forward to was Hi Skool tomorrow...
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